Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,575

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Count Olaf:
Ah! My dear... [looks at stick figures of the children with their names on his hands] Violet. Enchanté.

Violet:
Um... how do you do?

Olaf:
And this must be Klaus. [grabs at Klaus' face and looks at each side of it] Young Klaus. Your left side is the good one. [begins to mess with Klaus' bottom lip and then notices Sunny] And, uh...what is this?

Sunny:
[in baby talk, subtitled] I'm Sunny.

Olaf:
I'm sorry. I don't speak monkey! [mimicking a baby] Banana?

Sunny:
[grunts, subtitled] I'm not a monkey!

Violet:
Sunny's our little sister.

Olaf:
I must say you are a gloomy looking bunch. Why so glum?

Klaus:
Our parents just died.

Olaf:
Ah, yes, of course. How very, very awful. Wait! Let's do that one more time! Bring me the line again! Quickly, while it's still fresh in my mind.

Klaus:
[confused] Our parents just... died?

Olaf:
[overacting gasp] Mr. Poe... I shall raise these orphans as if they were actually wanted.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Olaf:
Yes, roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted!

Violet:
But you didn't tell us you wanted roast beef!

Olaf:
You know, there's a big world out there, filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow cast by my accomplishments. But I don't care about them. I chose to open my heart to you two luvverly children... and your hideous primate! All I ask in return is that you do each and every thing that pops into my head, while I enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behind.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[after Count Olaf slaps Klaus]

Violet:
Are you okay?

Klaus:
No. [walks away]

Violet:
Where are you going?

Klaus:
Home.

Violet:
This is our home now.

Klaus:
This is not home. Home is where your parents put you to bed at night. Where they teach you to ride a bike, or when they get all choked up on your first day of school. This is not home! How could they do this to us?

Violet:
They're just bad people.

Klaus:
Not them. Mom and Dad.

Violet:
Klaus!

Klaus:
Well, you're thinking it too, Violet! How could they?

Violet:
Do you remember when Mom and Dad went to Europe and we thought they'd abandoned us because they didn't even write? And then we found out they'd written a long letter and it had just gotten lost in the mail. Do you remember how guilty we felt for thinking bad thoughts about them? This is just like that.

Klaus:
[sadly] No, it's not.

Violet:
Why?

Klaus:
Because they're not in Europe... and they're not coming back.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Lemony Snicket [narrating]:
Sanctuary is a word which here means a small safe place in a troubling world. Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea. The Baudelaire’s enjoyed their evening in the sanctuary they helped build together, but in their hearts they knew that the troubling world lay just outside. A world, which I’m sad to say, can be described in two dismal words.

Judge Gallo:
Custody granted.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mr. Poe:
I'm sorry, Count Olaf. Allowing a child of Sunny's age to drive a car is simply not good parenting.

Klaus:
He tried to kill us!

Mr. Poe:
Let us not exaggerate, Klaus. The vehicle was not even in gear.

Count Olaf:
[to Mr. Poe] May I have a moment alone with the children? [Mr. Poe nods in agreement.] Goodbye, kids. It's been fun. [leans farther into car window and whispers angrily] I'm going to get you. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'll find you! Oh, you are so deceased! [turns from car, puts eye drops in eye and turns to Mr. Poe] Take them, Mr. Poe... before I lose it, big time!

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Monty:
Do you have any experience with children?

Stephano (Olaf):
Ah, well, children are strange and foreign to me. I never really was one. I know that they are an important part of the ecosystem.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Captain Sham (Olaf):
[to Violet] Are you jiggin,' me girl? [to Aunt Josephine] Why, perhaps it's just the ramblings of an expert fisherman, but grammar is the number one, most important thing in this here world to me.

Josephine:
It is?

Sunny:
[in baby talk] Is she desperate?

Capt. Sham:
It's the whole ball of wax. The entire kit and caboodle. Why, without your good grammar, the whole darn shootin' match could go arse over tea kettle.

Jo:
Well, you can certainly turn a phrase.

Sham:
I can flip it up and rub it down, too. But of course, that'd be entirely up to you, ma'am. Captain Sham at your servie ma'am.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Olaf:
Hello, hello, hello! I've missed you guys. Looks like you're in need of a little assistance.

Klaus:
You're going to need assistance when you get back to town. Aunt Josephine is going to tell everyone what happened!

Olaf:
And then I'll be arrested and sent to jail and you'll live happily ever after with a friendly guardian, spending your time inventing things and reading books and sharpening your little monkey teeth, and bravery and nobility will prevail at last, and this wicked world will slowly but surely become a place of cheerful harmony, and everybody will be singing and dancing and giggling like the Littlest Elf! A happy ending! Is that what you had in mind? Because I hardly think anyone is going to believe a dead woman.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Klaus:
[desperately] There's always something... There's always something!

Violet:
[sadly] Not this time.

– Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Restaurant Clerk:
Your missus, she's the cutest girl I ever see. Take a fortune cookie and say hello to her. She a wonderful wife.

Lenny Bruce:
We're divorced.

Restaurant Clerk:
You're better off.

– Lenny  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Stansfield:
I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven. Can you hear it? It's like when you put your head to the grass and you can hear the growin' and you can hear the insects. Do you like Beethoven?

Malky:
I couldn't really say.

Stansfield:
You don't like Beethoven. You don't know what you're missing. Overtures like that get my... juices flowing. So powerful. But after his openings, to be honest, he does tend to get a little fucking boring. That's why I stopped! [laughs and sighs] Toss the apartment.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mathilda:
[on telephone] Hello?

Caller:
This is Margueritte McAllister, headmistress of the Spencer School for Girls in Wildwood, New Jersey. Is Mr. or Mrs. Lando home?

Mathilda:
[faking deeper voice] Yes, this is she.

Caller:
Mrs. Lando, when your husband enrolled Mathilda at Spencer, he told us she had "problems". Well, as you know, we pride ourselves on turning troubled girls into healthy, productive young women. But if they are not here, there is very little we can do. Now, Mathilda left school without permission nearly two weeks ago. I know your husband paid tuition in advance for a year, but if you will refer to page twenty of the rules and regulations manual we sent you, you will see you will see that unless there is a valid excuse for prolonged absence, your tuition will be forfeit.

Mathilda:
She's dead. [She hangs up.]

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Léon:
I'm sorry about your father.

Mathilda:
If somebody didn't do it, one day or another I would've probably done it myself.

Léon:
Your mother, she —

Mathilda:
She's not my mother! And my sister — she wanted to lose some weight anyway. Bet she never looked better. She's not even my real sister. Just a half-sister, and not a good half at that.

Léon:
If you couldn't stand them, why are you crying?

Mathilda:
Because they killed my brother! What the hell did he do? Four years old... he never used to cry. He just used to sit next to me and cuddle. I was more of a mother to him than that goddamn pig ever was!

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mathilda:
Leon, what exactly do you do for a living?

Léon:
Cleaner.

Mathilda:
You mean you're a hit man?

Léon [reluctantly]:
Yeah.

Mathilda:
Cool.

...

Mathilda:
Do you "clean" anyone?

Léon:
No women, no kids. That's the rules.

Mathilda:
How much would it cost to hire someone to get those dirtbags who killed my brother?

Léon:
Five grand a head.

Mathilda:
Wow. How about this: I work for you, and in exchange, you teach me how to clean. Hmmm? What do you think? I'll clean your place, I'll do the shopping, I'll even wash your clothes. Is it a deal?

Léon:
No, it's not a deal.

Mathilda:
What do you want me to do? I've got no place to go.

Léon:
You've had a rough day today. Go to sleep now. We'll see in the morning.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Léon:
You sleep well? [Mathilda nods.] Good. After breakfast you gotta take off.

Mathilda:
Where to?

Léon:
Not my problem.

Mathilda:
[setting note in front of Léon]: Read it.

Léon:
Uh — [stares blankly at note.]

Mathilda:
You don't know how to read.

Léon:
I'm learning, but I've had a lot of work lately, so... I'm a little behind. What's it say?

Mathilda:
I've decided what I want to do with my life. I wanna be a cleaner.

Léon:
You wanna be a cleaner? [sets a pistol on table] Here, take it. It's a goodbye gift. Go clean — but not with me! I work alone, understand? Alone!

Mathilda:
Bonnie and Clyde didn't work alone! Thelma and Louise didn't work alone! And they were the best.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Léon:
Tony, all the money I make that you keep for me —

Tony:
You need some money?

Léon:
Just curious. 'Cause I've been working for a long time and I haven't done anything with my money.

Tony:
You met a woman.

Léon:
No.

Tony:
Léon... Léon, you gotta be careful with women. Remember when you first arrived in this country? When I took you in you were still wet behind the fuckin' ears, and already you were in deep shit because of a woman. Don't forget that, Léon.

Léon:
I wish I could sometimes. You know, about my money — maybe I could give a little to someone, you know, to help out.

Tony:
Hey, it's your money. I mean, I'm just holding it for you, like a bank. Except better than a bank, 'cause you know banks always get knocked off. No one knocks off old Tony.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Officer 1:
We know you're a busy man and we'll try to make this as short as possible. Now if you just take us step by step through exactly what happened.

Stansfield:
The guy was here, he went for his gun. Bang! We shot him.

Officer 2:
Where exactly were the kids?

Stansfield:
I don't know! They should have been at school, don't you think?

Officer 1:
But in the statement you said you were the first man in, didn't you see any kids?

Officer 2:
The door was broken, what happened? Did you follow the procedure?

Stansfield:
I lost a good man here. What the fuck do you want with me?

Officer 2:
Cooperation.

Stansfield:
I haven't got TIME for this Mickey Mouse bullshit! You want cooperation? Come up my office, will you? Room 4602.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Mathilda and Léon complete a hit together on a man who possesses cocaine. Mathilda proceeds to the counter with the cocaine on it and picks up a flammable liquid.]

Léon:
What are you doing?

Mathilda:
You said no women or kids. Who do you think this is going to kill, donkeys and monkeys?

[Mathilda pours the liquid over the cocaine, lights a match, and sets it on fire.]

Mathilda:
[in tears] Now... it's clean.

Léon:
Let's get out of here. [Pulls Mathilda out of the room with him.]

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Mathilda has entered Stansfield's office building by faking a food delivery; Stansfield has cornered her in a restroom.]

Norman Stansfield:
Special delivery, huh? Let me guess. Chinese? Thai, maybe? I've got it — Italian food. What's your name, angel?

Mathilda:
Mathilda.

Norman Stansfield:
Mathilda, I want you to set the sack on the floor. Good. [He draws a pistol.] And now, I want you to tell me everything you know about Italian food... and don't forget the name of the chef who fixed it for me.

Mathilda:
Nobody sent me. I do business for myself.

Norman Stansfield:
So, th-th-this, this is something personal, is it? What filthy piece of shit... did I do now?

Mathilda:
You killed my brother.

Norman Stansfield:
I'm sorry. [he moves in close to Mathilda.] And — you wanna join him?

Mathilda:
No.

Norman Stansfield:
It's always the same thing. It's when you start to become really afraid of death that you learn to appreciate life. Do you like life, sweetheart?

Mathilda:
[whispering] Yes.

Norman Stansfield:
That's good — because I take no pleasure in taking a life if it's from a person who doesn't care about it.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[In the restroom, Stansfield reacts to the news of Malky's death at the hands of Leon]

Willie:
I think it was something personal.

Stansfield:
[whispering] Death is... whimsical today.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

SWAT Team Leader:
Alpha team, final position, ready to go.

Stansfield:
Be careful.

...

SWAT Team Leader:
Alpha team, man down, man down.

Stansfield:
I told you. Benny, bring me everyone.

Benny:
What do you mean "everyone"?

Stansfield:
EV-ERY-ONE!!

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Stansfield has shot Leon in the back of the head.]

Leon:
Stansfield?

Stansfield:
At your service.

Leon:
[giving Stansfield something] This... is from... Mathilda...

Stansfield:
[sees that it's a pin for a grenade and opens Leon's vest to find grenades] Shit.

[The building explodes, killing Leon and Stansfield.]

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Tony:
In the meantime, all you gotta do is come here every once in a while and I'll dish it out so's you can have a little fun. Okay? Here's a hundred bucks to start with.

Mathilda:
Can't I get a job instead?

Tony:
A job? What the hell can you do?

Mathilda:
I can "clean".

Tony:
I ain't got no work for a twelve-year-old kid, so get it out of your goddamn head! It's OVER! The game's OVER! Léon's DEAD!

[Mathilda breaks down in tears.]

Tony:
[softly] Come on. You think I ain't hurtin' too? But he's dead. And you're gonna forget all this craziness and get your little ass back to school. Capisce? [Starts to get impatient] Now take this money, and get the hell outta here, and don't let me see your face till next month, cause something tells me I'm about to lose my famous kind streak!

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Mathilda is at the Spencer School for Girls.]

Mathilda:
My parents... d-died in a car accident four weeks ago. Terrible.

Headmistress:
You know, we didn't have the time to get to know one another when you first came here. But I want you to know that I'm not the kind of woman that would let down a child — whatever her situation, whatever her mistake. So I'm going to help you and do my best to welcome you here again. But on one condition: you have to stop lying to me, Mathilda. I want you to take a chance, and trust me. Now tell me what happened to you.

Mathilda:
Okay. My family got shot down by D.E.A. officers because of a drug problem. I left with the greatest guy on earth. He was a hit man — the best in town. But he died this morning... and if you don't help me, I'll be dead by tonight.

– Léon: The Professional  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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