Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,569

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Murtaugh is on his toilet with a bomb underneath ready to blow]

Murtaugh:
I'm gonna die on the toilet.

Riggs:
Guys like you don't die on toilets.

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Consulate Envoy:
What can I do for you today?

Leo:
Okay, I have this problem, this very delicate matter. I have a friend of mine, wants to emigrate to South Africa.

Consulate Envoy:
Yes, of course. I can certainly help him do that.

Leo:
Oh sure. But I want you to talk him out of it.

Consulate Envoy:
Talk him out of it?

Leo:
Yeah.

Consulate Envoy:
Whatever for?

Leo:
W-well, you see, this is such a bad time for him to go to South Africa. I mean with all the trouble and everything, okay.

Consulate Envoy:
Look, why don’t you ask your friend to come back later in the week. We can sit down-

Leo:
No, he’s here. He’s here.

Consulate Envoy:
He’s here?

Leo:
Yeah, he’s here now.

Consulate Envoy:
Where?

Leo:
Alphonse! Alphonse?

[Murtaugh comes around the corner]

Murtaugh:
How you doing?

Consulate Envoy:
[dumbstruck] I think there must be some mistake.

Murtaugh:
Say what?

Consulate Envoy:
Sir, listen to your friend, here. He knows what he’s talking about. I don’t think you want to go to South Africa.

Murtaugh:
Why not?

Consulate Envoy:
B-Because you’re black.

Leo:
[to Murtaugh] You are. [to Envoy] He is.

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
Riggs, we’re not going to the fucking stilt house. We’re under orders!

Riggs:
Well then the stilt house is gonna have to come to me. You don’t understand, Rog, they killed them both. They killed them both. They got Rika and my wife.

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Riggs:
Don’t try and stop me, Rog.

Murtaugh:
Yeah, I’ve seen that look in your eyes before.

Riggs:
They declared war on the police.

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
We don’t have the authority.

Riggs:
Cavanaugh, Wyler, Shapiro, … Rika, Vicky. How much fucking authority do you need?

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
What’s your signal?

Riggs:
You’ll know it when it happens.

Murtaugh:
Somehow, I think I will know.

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Rudd shoots Riggs, then holds his ID in front of his face]

Rudd:
Diplomatic immunity.

[Murtaugh shoots him through the ID/head]

Murtaugh:
It’s just been revoked.

– Lethal Weapon 2  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
Riggs, everyone else is outside. Only me, you and this cat are dumb enough to be in here.

Riggs:
Nearly a CAT-astrophe, huh?

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
[sees Riggs about to cut the red wire.] Oh! Oh!

Riggs:
What? What?

Murtaugh:
A minute ago, you said blue!

Riggs:
Did I say blue?

Murtaugh:
Riggs, you said blue!

Riggs:
Well, I meant red.

Murtaugh:
You sure?

Riggs:
Well, look, Rog, we can do it your way if you like.

Murtaugh:
[yells] MY WAY?! I DON'T HAVE--!

Riggs:
[whispers] Quiet! I'm sure, okay?

Murtaugh:
Ah, shit.

Riggs:
You ready? [Murtaugh winces] Rog.

Murtaugh:
What? [opens his eyes]

Riggs:
Aren't you gonna miss all this good stuff when you retire? Aren't you gonna miss it a little bit? Huh? [chuckles] I'm cutting the wire. [Murtaugh winces again] Snip. [timer counts down faster] See, all done. Rog?

Murtaugh:
Yeah?

Riggs:
[sees timer counting down faster; alarmed] Grab the cat!

Murtaugh:
Grab the cat?

Riggs:
[he and Murtaugh run from the building] GET BACK!

Murtaugh:
GET EVERYBODY BACK!

Riggs:
TAKE COVER!

Murtaugh:
BACK! BACK! [a thunderous explosion blows up the building]

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Riggs:
Hiya, Hubie! We're lookin' for a friend of yours named Travis.

Hubie:
I never heard of him.

Riggs:
Never? (jabbing Hubie in the eyes) Errr! Errr! Errr! Wrong answer? Wrong answer? Errr! Errr! Errr!

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Tyrone:
What the hell! It's Jack Travis!

Murtaugh:
That's what I wanted, baby.

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
Do you have to solve everything with your fists?

Riggs:
Well, I couldn't use my gun, there were people around.

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
I knew you couldn't stop smoking.

Riggs:
I'm only smoking to take my mind off my dog biscuit problem.

Murtaugh:
What dog biscuit problem?

Riggs:
Well, I've been chasing more cars lately, and uh, y'know , when I try to lick my balls I keep falling off the couch.

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Internal Affairs Guy:
I looked at your record for all the chaos and mayhem you cause.

Riggs:
No, no, I'm chaos and he's mayhem, we're a double act. [annoyed] What are we, required reading or something?

Lorna:
As a matter of fact you are; somewhere between Police Gazette and Mad Magazine.

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Riggs:
Nice of you to steal that information.

Lorna:
Semantics, Riggs.

Riggs:
Some antics? I'm always up for some antics!

– Lethal Weapon 3  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Murtaugh:
I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but Lorna's pregnant, you're gonna be a father!"

Riggs:
No, get going, get... what did you say!?

Murtaugh:
You're gonna be a FATHER!!

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Riggs:
Yeah, there's something I'm not supposed to tell you, too.

Murtaugh:
What?

Riggs:
Rianne's pregnant, you're gonna be a grandfather!

Murtaugh:
Rianne's WHAT?!

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Riggs:
Hey, are those little hearts?

Murtaugh:
Not now Riggs! Just shoot the damn valve!

Riggs:
Okay! Also, flap your arms and make noises like a bird!

Murtaugh:
I'm not gonna flap arms! Why!?

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Uncle Benny:
Time! Time for Forefathers!

Riggs and Murtaugh:
Forefather!"

Riggs:
Uh, Washington? Jefferson? Those guys?

Murtaugh:
Roosevelt?

Uncle Benny:
I'm sleeping with my wife's two sisters!

Murtaugh:
"You lucky son of a bitch!

Riggs:
That's a good one Uncle Benny!

Uncle Benny:
Not so good! When my wife finds out!

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Leo:
Oooohhhh, my tooth!

Dr. Chen's Receptionist:
What's the matter with you, sir?

Leo:
What's the matter?! My ass hurts! My tooth! What is this, a dentist's office or a proctologist?!

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Riggs:
Yeah, I'm sick of these fuckers, Rog. I say we just find 'em and shoot 'em, what do you think?

Murtaugh:
Better meet me and Butters on South Spring Street, then.

Riggs:
Yeah? What's going on?

Murtaugh:
I found my watch.

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Leo:
Hey, uh, hey, Riggs, who's the, uh, perp? What'd you bust him for?"

Butters:
Oh, I'm a perp? Oh, you see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp?! Look at my suit! Look at my tie! What do I look like, a fuckin' Crip's accountant?! Look at this badge, bitch! Check out the gun!

Leo:
Okay, okay, hey, hey, put the gun down! Put the gun down!!

Butters:
License! Registration! Urine sample!

Leo:
Hey, I got a badge too, okay?! German Jews didn't have it any easier when we were kids, so don't think you're the only one, okay?! Okay?! Besides, I knew you were a cop, I was just kiddin' with ya! Hey, I can smell a cop a mile away!

Butters:
Oh, I smell bad, what'chu trying to say?!

Leo:
Well, stop turning everything around! You're so damn touchy! These guys'll tell ya, we work together, we got a history together! Hey, maybe we'll work together someday! I'm the bomb, they'll tell ya, I'm great!

Butters:
Yeah, we're gonna work together as soon as I open up a cereal shop, ya fuckin' leprechaun!

Leo:
Hey, I didn't call you any names, ya fuckface!!! Don't start that!!

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Lorna:
You look a little banged up.

Riggs:
You look a little knocked up.

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Butters:
Your baby is having my baby!

Murtaugh:
My baby is having his baby!

Butters:
"And your baby? Whoa, baby!"

Murtaugh:
"Whoa baby my baby!"

– Lethal Weapon 4  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Browse Quotes.net

#ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ 

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
Who said: "In politics stupidity is not a handicap"?
A Sigmund Freud
B Albert Einstein
C Al Capone
D Napoleon Bonaparte