Dr. Joseph Dolan:
So where do you know Alan from?
Fletch:
We play tennis together at the club.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Really? The California Racquet Club?
Fletch:
Yes.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
That's my club too. I don't remember seeing you there.
Fletch:
Well, I haven't played in a while because of these kidney pains.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Right. Now, how long have you been having these pains, Mr. Barber?
Fletch:
That's Babar.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Two bs?
Fletch:
One. B-A-B-A-R.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
That's two.
Fletch:
Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
Fletch:
I don't know. I don't have any.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
No children?
Fletch:
No, elephant books.
...
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
You know, it's an odd name, Babar...I don't recall seeing it on the club register.
Fletch:
Well, I don't formally belong. I'm a guest of my aunt.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Your Aunt?
Fletch:
Yes. Mrs. Smith.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
June or Margaret?
Fletch:
Uh-huh, right.
...
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
You know, it's a shame about Ed.
Fletch:
Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Ahh, he was dying for years.
Fletch:
Sure, but... the end was really... very sudden.
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
He was in intensive care for eight weeks!
Fletch:
Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.
...
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Drop your shorts and bend over.
Fletch:
No...we don't have to, I mean, maybe I just haven't been doing enough calisthenics...you know, my kidneys feel a lot better now, maybe if I just bent over like this every morning......
[Dolan inserts his finger into Fletch's anus with an audible "pop" sound]
Fletch:
[singing] Moon River......[talking] Whew...ever serve time, Doc?
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Breathe easy.
Fletch:
Yeah...breathe easy... Ahh!! Using the whole fist, Doc?!
...
[After the proctological exam]
Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Well, I can't seem to find anything wrong with you, Mr. Babar.
Fletch:
Well, I'm sure it's not for a lack of looking.
