Patty:
He is a lazy freeloader, and it's time for all this dysfunction to stop.
Ned:
Keep it... Can't we just do this later? I mean, you know how he gets in the morning.
Patty:
Ned, aren't you tired of letting people push you around?
Ned:
Yes. [sighs]
Patty:
Then get in there and do it! [Ned refuses, so Patty pulls the curtain aside]
Dewey:
[wakes up] What? What is it?
Ned:
Dewey, hey, it's the first of the month, and, uh, I would like your share of the rent now, please.
Dewey:
Oh, man! You know I don't have it! You wake me up for that? Come on, man! [falls back asleep]
Ned:
Sorry. [Patty glares at him fiercely; more sternly] Dewey! I mean, you owe me a lot of money as it is.
Patty:
Yeah, try $2,200!
Dewey:
Okay, you guys, the band is about to hit it bigtime. We're gonna win Battle of the Bands, and when I'm rolling in the Benjamins, I will throw you and your dog a bone. Good night.
Patty:
Oh, give it up! Your band has never made two cents!
Ned:
Patty, come on! I'm on this!
Patty:
Oh, you're on this? You're on this? He's walking all over you!
Dewey:
Mommy, could we please talk about this later?
Patty:
Uh, no, we can't talk about it later because Ned and I have to go to work. We have jobs. We contribute to society, all right? I am an assistant to the mayor of the city. "Hello?!"
Dewey:
What?! Can you get her out of here, please? Why?! Why her?!
Patty:
And Ned has the most important job there is.
Dewey:
Temping?
Ned:
Dewey, a substitute teacher is not a temp!
Dewey:
He's a babysitter!
Ned:
Oh, yeah, you think it's so easy? Well, I'd like to see you try. You wouldn't last one day.
Dewey:
Dude, I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rockin' ain't no walk in the park, lady!
Patty:
All right, this is useless, all right? You tell him that if he doesn't come up with the rent by the end of the week, he's out of here!
Ned:
Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so... I don't know, I mean, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.
Dewey:
What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?
Patty:
Oh, my God, he's an idiot! [leaves]
Dewey:
Dude, I've been mooching off you for years, and it's never been a problem until she showed up. Just dump her, man!
Ned:
Yeah, well, if you don't come up with some money, she's gonna dump me. She's fed up.
Dewey:
Really? Because that would be a good thing! She's a nightmare!
Ned:
Come on! I may never have another girlfriend! I mean, just come on! Come up with some money, please! Please!
Dewey:
Okay, for you. Not for her, man, for you.
Ned:
Thank you.
