Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,460

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

George: [At Brenda's funeral] Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You? Cindy: Brenda was my bitch. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Cindy: Hello? Tabitha's Voice: It's me. How you doing? Cindy: Fine. Tabitha's Voice: Enjoying your last week? I can't wait to see you. Six days now, right? Cindy: Yeah. Tabitha's Voice: It was great catching up. Can I speak to Cody? Cindy: Why? He didn't watch the tape. Tabitha's Voice: Yes, he did. Come on, Cindy, I do this for a living. (Cindy hangs up. The phone rings again) Cindy: Hello? Tabitha's Voice: Hello, I'm calling from "Reader's Digest" with a fantastic offer for Cody. (snickers) Cindy: (gasps) No, you're not! You're that evil little girl from the tape! Tabitha's Voice: Okay, you got me. How about I just leave a message for him? Cindy: Fine. (writes the message down) Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, how do you spell that? Right. Okay, got it. Bye. (Cindy holds the paper up, which reads SEVEN DAYS) AAAAHHH!! – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Cindy: But what is connection between the crop circles and the videotape? The Architect: The answer is simple. You are the eventuality of an anomaly. You are inexorably seeking a sedulant probability. Cindy: Sedulant? I, uh... The Architect: Grotesquery? ...No? What about... (holds up dictionary) contingent affirmation? That's gotta mean something. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ross Giggins: Turning now to sports... (Cindy types new text for the teleprompter) Ross: And an evil video tape that kills anyone who watches it in seven days. It's true. We're all in danger. There's an alien force that's trying prevent you from knowing the truth. Carson Ward: [Noticing Ross, and Cindy at the teleprompter keyboard] Oh, no. [Rushes over to Cindy] Campbell, are you insane?! Ross: It's a horrible fate. Cindy: Carson, I have to do this! [Ward shoves Cindy out of the way and types new text; Cindy comes back and the two begin fighting for control of the teleprompter keyboard.] Ross: Correction, there really is no danger. Actually, I didn't really mean anything I just said. Yes, I did. Every word of it. Everyone watching this could be dead in a week. [The Janitor joins in, making it a three-way fight over the teleprompter's keyboard.] Ross: O shizl gzngahr BBBBBTTTTTGGGGTGGGGTGGGG shzn blah hary % + 7, , 1 9 3 4 19 ckin etd vaus erstn gubl chn q shnitzi guorsn blkn (, , 18 4 6 9 [The Janitor has won the fight for the keyboard. He smirks as he types, then leaves the studio.] Ross: I been cleanin' after this dumb-ass cracker Giggins for ten years, but I been hittin' it with his woman for twelve. Know what I'm sayin', nigga? She likes her some chocolate. Sharpton for President, y'all. I'm outie. Peace. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Mahalik: You know Jamal, from 92nd Street? This morning, he woke up dead! CJ: How in the hell do you wake up dead? Mahalik: 'Cause you're alive when you go to sleep. CJ: You're telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive? Mahalik: You can't go to bed dead! That shit would be redundant. CJ: No, it wouldn't. 'Cause you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die but not be in a bed. Mahalik: But you are in a bed, man. That's how you wake up dead in the first place, foo'! CJ: Damn! That's some quantum shit right there, man! – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Cindy: All you need is a family... George: And we can be that family. (Tabitha turns into a little girl) Tabitha: Thank you all. Your love has broken the curse and freed my soul. I'll never have to kill again. Cindy: Really? (Tabitha turns back into a corpse) Tabitha: Nah! I'm just screwing with you! (she raises a knife) (President Harris opens the door and unknowingly hits Tabitha, causing her to fall in the well) President Harris: I just wanted to tell you both, good luck, we're all counting on you. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
(Tom gets hit in the groin with a plank of wood) Tom: Argh! My balls! (George brings him two bowling balls, and hits him in the balls with them again) Tom: No, not those... Jesus! (George runs up with a plastic Jesus statue) Tom: No! – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Trooper Champlin: This... is your wife. (snaps a hot dog in half) Tom: She broke her weiner? Trooper Champlin: (sighs) Tom, look what happens to the taco. (breaks a taco in half) Tom: I, I don't understand all this medical lingo. I wanna see Anne! Trooper Champlin: Your wife is split in half. Tom: (splitting a sub sandwich down the middle) You mean like, down the middle in half? Trooper Champlin: (sighs) At the waist. That truck is the only thing keeping her alive. Tom: You mean, this is the only time I can talk to the top half? Trooper Champlin: Yes. Tom: Well, let's just say this is her bottom half. (pulls out a donut) Can I spend a little time with that? Trooper Champlin: I don't understand what you mean. Tom: (now holding a hot dog) Okay, let me explain. Trooper Champlin: Just go to her. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Agent Thompson: Room is secure, Mr President. President Harris: Or is it? Agent Thompson: Sir? President Thompson: I've been thinking, Thompson. What if the aliens could take over human bodies, they'd look just like us? Or almost? Agent Thompson: I'd never thought of that, sir. We should be on the alert for anything suspicious. President Harris: They can be anywhere. Even... Agent Thompson: Right here. My God, we'd never see the attack coming. It's frightening, sir. President Harris: Don't panic. [quietly] We'll just move slowly toward the exit. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Annie: Promise me you'll never remarry. Tom: I promise. Annie: And no sex, either. Tom: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Annie: No sex. Tom: Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful. Annie: No sex. Tom: Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery! Annie: (shouts) No sex! Tom: Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly. Annie: Oh, Jesus. Tom: That's right, honey. Go into the light. Annie: Look! Just tell George, swing away. Tom: Right. Swing away. Annie: Oh, sure. That you understand. (dies) – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
(Cindy sees George unconscious on the table. He begins to wake up) Cindy: George, what happened? George: I don't know. Me and Cody were playing a fun game and... (looks down at gameboard) Yahtzee! (stands up and bangs his head on a shelf, then falls onto the table again) – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
President Harris: Isn't this great? Humans and aliens working together. We're one big, happy, intergalactic family. George: Family. Huh. That's just what I've been running away from. President Harris: Well, that's because you're an idiot. – Scary Movie 3 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Shaq: (After throwing the rock into the basketball) Boo-yah! Dr. Phil: Yes! – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Shaq: He doesn't want us to cut through our chains...he wants us to cut through our feet. You first. Dr. Phil: Bullshit! Shaq: I guess your mama was right... maybe you're not man enough! Dr. Phil: (looks up) NEVER!!!!! Who's the coward NOW, Mama?! (Saws through his foot) Shaq: Candy from a baby. Dr. Phil: I've done it! We're saved! (holds up foot) Shaq: Oh, my God! (points) Dr. Phil: What's wrong?! Shaq: Wrong foot! Dr. Phil: (looks down) Motherfu.... (hits floor with a thud.) – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Brenda: Is something wrong? Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda. Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him. Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan. Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy? Cindy Campbell: No...no. Cindy Campbell: (relieved) But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with. – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Oliver: We gotta find a way to take out these tripods. I heard that the Japs took out a few of 'em over in Kikkoman. Tom Ryan: Kikkoman. That's...that's a soy sauce. Oliver: Right, yeah. Low sodium. – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, we've just received word the planet is under attack by aliens. President Harris: Oh, okay... Secret Service Agent: Sir, they've already wiped out some of our cities, if nothing is done they'll kill us all. President Harris: I see. Well, I'll deal with that later, but right now I need to find out what's happening with the duck. Secret Service Agent: Sir, with each passing moment more people will die. President Harris: The people are gonna die regardless. But this duck still has a fighting chance. Secret Service Agent: I've read the story before, Mr. President. The duck dies... (the President spits milk all over the elementary school kids) President Harris: Oh my God! That's horrible! – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Tom Ryan: Ever since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. Half the time, I walk around feelin' like a zombie! C. J.: Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real. Mahalik: Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street? C. J.: Yeah. Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie goin' through her trash the other day. The next mornin', she turned up missin'! Tom Ryan: Uh... (C.J. interrupts) C. J.: What?! Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"? Mahalik: 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there! Tom Ryan: Guys, I'm trying to ask... C. J.: (interrupts again) So you tellin' me that you can appear and disappear at the same time? Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield! Tom Ryan: Uh, guys... C. J.: (interrupts a third time) Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missin'. And when you're missin', you never turn up. Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie. C. J.: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that. Mahalik: I'm-a gonna put that on Myspace! C. J.: You do that! – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Tom's Neighbor #1: Why is the sky so dark?! Tom's Neighbor #2: Why is the wind moving towards the storm?! Tom's Neighbor #3: (sees laundry flapping in the wind) Why don't any of us have dryers?! – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Mahalik: Grandma?! The zombies have got my grandma! (Mahalik grabs his grandma and starts shaking her) Mahalik: Die, Grandma! Die! Die! I loved you! I loved you! – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Cindy Campbell: (to Tom) I was married once... Cindy's Husband: (flashback) Git outta the way, bitch! Cindy Campbell: Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit! Cindy's Husband: Shut yo ass up, snow ho! (Cindy throws glass bottle) Cindy Campbell: (flashback ends) Well, actually, married twice. – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Marilyn: (as Tom pulls up in his car) Late again, Tom. Tom Ryan: Hey, Marilyn. Marilyn: I thought you were moving. Tom Ryan: Oh, it's all I could afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name. Marilyn: No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties." – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Cindy Campbell: It looks like we have a lot in... Tom Ryan: ...common. Cindy Campbell: We're already finishing each other's... Tom Ryan: ...dinner! – Scary Movie 4 Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Harry Havemayer: We got a deal going, kid- 20% off for my friends; my father set it up. Christmas in Switzerland? Trent Potter: Staad. Harry Havemayer: Gstaad; dropping the 'G' is phony. Trent: But you just said everybody says Staad! Harry: Not if you've been there. Easter in Burmuda? Think a Kentucky Derby week- we could fit you in, kid. Charlie Simms: Uh, how much are these, white-bosomed slopes of Vermont? Harry: Twelve-hundred. Includes a nine-course, champagne Thanksgiving dinner. Charlie: Twelve hundred dollars is a little rich for my blood, Harry. Harry: How short are you? Charlie: Short, Harry? So short it wouldn't be worth the trouble for you and George to measure. But, uh, thanks for asking, all right? [Leaves] Harry: If you change your mind... George Willis Jr.: What'd you do that for? You know he's on aid. Harry: On major holidays, Willis, it's customary for the lord of the manor to offer drippings to the poor. George: You're so full of shit. – Scent of a Woman Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

The Web's Largest Resource for

Famous Quotes & Sayings

A Member Of The STANDS4 Network

Browse Quotes.net

#A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Random New Quotes

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»

"Dirt in the fuel line... just blowed it away."

A Gone in 60 seconds

B Bonnie and Clyde

C Casablanca

D The godfather