Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,829

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Capt. Nately:
Don't you have any principles?

Old man in whorehouse:
Of course not!

Capt. Nately:
No morality?

Old man in whorehouse:
I'm a very moral man, and Italy is a very moral country. That's why we will certainly come out on top again if we succeed in being defeated.

Capt. Nately:
You talk like a madman.

Old man in whorehouse:
But I live like a sane one. I was a fascist when Mussolini was on top. Now that he has been deposed, I am anti-fascist. When the Germans were here, I was fanatically pro-German. Now I'm fanatically pro-American. You'll find no more loyal partisan in all of Italy than myself.

Capt. Nately:
You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse:
You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

Capt. Nately:
How do you know?

Old man in whorehouse:
Because I am 107-years-old. How old are you?

Capt. Nately:
I'll be 20 in January.

Old man in whorehouse (with pity):
If you live.

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Doc Daneeka:
You're wasting your time

Yossarian:
Can't you ground someone who's crazy?

Doc Daneeka:
Oh, sure. I have to. There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy.

Yossarian:
Then why don't you ground me? I'm crazy. Ask Clevinger.

Doc Daneeka:
Clevinger? Where is Clevinger? You find Clevinger and I'll ask him.

Yossarian:
Then ask any of the others. They'll tell you how crazy I am.

Doc Daneeka:
They're crazy

Yossarian:
Then why don't you ground them?

Doc Daneeka:
Why don't they ask me to ground them?

Yossarian:
Because they're crazy, that's why.

Doc Daneeka:
Of course they're crazy, I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? And you can't let crazy people decide if they crazy or not.

Yossarian:
Is Orr crazy?

Doc Daneeka:
He sure is.

Yossarian:
Can you ground him?

Doc Daneeka:
I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule.

Yossarian:
Then why doesn't he ask you to?

Doc Daneeka:
Because he's crazy, He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.

Yossarian:
That's all he has to do to be grounded?

Doc Daneeka:
That's all. Let him ask me.

Yossarian:
And then you can ground him?

Doc Daneeka:
No. Then I cannot ground him. (Yossarian cries out in frustration) See, there's a catch, Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.

Yossarian:
That's some catch, that Catch-22.

Doc Daneeka:
It's the best there is.

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
Yossarian, I want you to do something for me. [removes item from small bag] I want to serve this to the men. Taste it and let me know what you think.

[Yossarian takes a bite]

Yossarian:
What is it?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
Chocolate-covered cotton.

Yossarian:
What are you, crazy?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
No good, huh?

Yossarian:
For Christ's sake, you didn't even take the seeds out!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
Is it really that bad?

Yossarian:
It's cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
They've got to learn to like it!

Yossarian:
Why?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
Look, I saw this great opportunity to corner the market in Egyptian cotton. How was I supposed to know there was going to be a glut? I've got a hundred warehouses stacked with the stuff all over the European theater. I can't get rid of a penny's worth. People eat cotton candy, don't they? Well this stuff is better - it's made out of real cotton.

Yossarian:
Milo, people can't eat cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
They've got to - it's for the Syndicate!

Yossarian:
It will make them sick! - why don't you try it yourself if you don't believe me?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder:
I did - and it made me sick.

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Maj. Major Major Major:
Sergeant, from now on, I don't want anyone to come in and see me while I'm in my office. Is that clear?

First Sgt. Towser:
Yes, sir. What do I say to people who want to come in and see you while you're in your office?

Maj. Major Major Major:
Tell them I'm in and ask them to wait.

First Sgt. Towser:
For how long?

Maj. Major Major Major:
Until I've left.

First Sgt. Towser:
And then what do I do with them?

Maj. Major Major Major:
I don't care.

First Sgt. Towser:
May I send people in to see you after you've left?

Maj. Major Major Major:
Yes.

First Sgt. Towser:
You won't be here then, will you?

Maj. Major Major Major:
No.

First Sgt. Towser:
I see, sir. Will that be all?

Maj. Major Major Major:
Also, Sergeant, I don't want you coming in while I'm in my office asking me if there's anything you can do for me. Is that clear?

First Sgt. Towser:
Yes, sir. When should I come in your office and ask if there's anything I can do for you?

Maj. Major Major Major:
When I'm not there.

First Sgt. Towser:
What do I do then?

Maj. Major Major Major:
Whatever has to be done.

First Sgt. Towser:
Yes, sir.

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Maj. Major Major Major:
Is something wrong?

Tappman:
No, no. I... just thought I saw something.

Maj. Major Major Major:
A naked man in a tree?

Tappman:
Yes, that's it.

Danby:
[looking through binoculars] That's just Yossarian.

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Colonel Cathcart:
[as the base is being bombed in an air raid] What are you doing, Yossarian! Get off the field!

[Yossarian fires a Colt .45 at him, but it clicks, empty]

Colonel Cathcart:
I wanna' see you later. You're confined to the base. I won't forget this!

Yossarian:
I don't think the Air Force is gonna' forget about this!

Colonel Cathcart:
Don't be ridiculous! What's good for M&M Enterprises is good for the Air Force! We had to get rid of that cotton. The Germans promised to take it off our hands, if we ran this mission for them! It's all part of the deal!

Lt. Col. Korn, XO:
[loud bomb explosion is heard] There goes the Officer's Club!

Yossarian:
You made a deal with the Germans to bomb our own base?

Colonel Cathcart:
A contract is a contract! That's what we're fighting for!

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Yossarian leaps out of the hospital window, fleeing the base.]

Danby:
Yossarian!

Yossarian:
I can do it, Danby!

Tappman:
They'll catch you, they'll bring you back!

Yossarian:
I can do it!

Danby:
This is insane!

Yossarian:
I can do it!

Tappman:
What about your clothes?

Yossarian:
They'll never recognize me without my uniform!

Danby:
You'll be on the run with no friends! You'll live in constant danger of betrayal!

Yossarian:
[laughs] I live that way now.

Danby:
Yossarian, for God's sake, hurry up!

Yossarian:
So long, Chaplain!

Tappman:
How do you feel, Yossarian?

Yossarian:
Fine... because I'm scared to death.

Danby:
You'll have to keep on your toes every minute.

Yossarian:
I'll keep on my toes.

Tappman:
You'll have to jump.

Yossarian:
I'll jump.

Tappman:
JUMP!

[Yossarian jumps over a ditch and runs to the sea while inflating a life raft. He leaps into the sea, paddling furiously, and is gone]

– Catch-22  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Carl, how long do I have to work here [the FBI]?

Carl Hanratty:
8:15 in the morning, 4:00 in the afternoon. Forty-five minutes for lunch.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
No, I mean...how long?

Carl Hanratty:
Every day. Every day, Frank...until we let you go.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Hey, Carl.

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Assistant Director Marsh:
I'd like for you to take a look at something, tell me what you think.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
[Marsh hands Frank a fake check as Carl looks on] That's a fake.

Assistant Director Marsh:
How do you know? You haven't looked at it.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
There's no perforated edge, right? This check was hand-cut, not fed. The paper's double-bonded, much too heavy to be a bank check. Magnetic ink, it's raised against my fingers, not flat. This doesn't smell like MICR, it's some kind of, uh, some kind of drafting ink. The kind you get at a stationery store.

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Assistant Director Marsh:
Frank, would you be interested in working for the FBI's Financial Crimes Unit?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I've already got a job here, you know. I, uh, deliver the mail.

Assistant Director Marsh:
Frank, we have the power to take you out of prison. You'd be placed in the custody of the FBI where you'd serve out the remainder of your sentence as an employee of the Federal Government.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Under whose custody?

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Carl Hanratty:
How'd you do it, Frank? How'd you pass the bar in Louisiana?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
[Frank continues to walk. Carl walks several paces behind] What are you doing here?

Carl Hanratty:
Listen...

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I'm sorry I put you through all this.

Carl Hanratty:
You go back to Europe, you're gonna die in Perpignan Prison. You try to run here in the States, we'll send you back to Atlanta for 50 years.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I know that.

Carl Hanratty:
I spent four years trying to arrange your release. Had to convince my bosses at the FBI and the Attorney General of the United States you wouldn't run.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Why'd you do it?

Carl Hanratty:
You're just a kid.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I'm not your kid. You said you were going to Chicago.

Carl Hanratty:
My daughter can't see me this weekend. She's going skiing.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
You said she was four years old. You're lying.

Carl Hanratty:
She was four when I left. Now she's 15. My wife's been remarried for 11 years. I see Grace every now and again.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I don't understand.

Carl Hanratty:
Sure you do. Sometimes, it's easier living the lie. [Frank stops, Carl catches up]

Carl Hanratty:
I'm going to let you fly tonight, Frank. I'm not even going to try to stop you. That's because I know you'll be back on Monday.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Yeah? How do you know I'll come back?

Carl Hanratty:
Frank, look. Nobody's chasing you.

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Carl Hanratty:
There's impressions on every line... looks like the original amount was for $60...

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
[walks up and takes magnifier] Mind if I take a look?

Carl Hanratty:
[looks up] Cashed in Flagstaff a week ago. Cost the bank $16,000.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
It's a real check.

Carl Hanratty:
Yeah. Yeah, it's been washed. The only thing original is the signature.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
But it's perfect, Carl. I mean, this isn't hydrochloride or bleach.

Carl Hanratty:
No. Something new. Maybe a nail polish remover where the acetone removes the ink that's not been printed?

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Carl Hanratty:
How did you do it, Frank? How did you cheat on the bar exam in Louisiana?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I didn't cheat. I studied for two weeks and I passed.

Carl Hanratty:
Is that the truth, Frank? Is that the truth?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
I'll bet this guy steals checks out of mailboxes. He washes off their names and he puts on his own.

Carl Hanratty:
You're saying he's a local?

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Well, if it were me, you know, I'd call the bank first... check out the balance...

Carl Hanratty:
Make sure there's enough money in there to make it worth your while...

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
You know, Carl, I think this guy's pretty smart.

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Frank Abagnale, Jr.:
Now, all we have to do is catch him.

– Catch Me If You Can  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Lou:
I was just thinking - if I'm gonna to be a secret agent, I should have a better name. I was thinking, "Toto Annihilation."

Peek:
Nah, he's a pro-wrestler. Sorry, that name's taken.

Lou:
All right, then. "Doom Machine" it is.

Butch:
Hey! You can call yourself "Squicky the Space-Dog" for all I care. [Sam and Peak snicker] But that don't make your behind a rocket pack. You are not an agent, but you are gonna help us.

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Ninja Cat Leader:
On my mark! 3! 2! 1!

Ninja Cat Team and Leader:
BANZAI!

[The Ninjas drop from the planes and deploy their parachutes after several seconds of freefall]

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mr. Tinkles:
[after Sophie leaves; angrily] Evil does not wear BONNET!!

Calico:
[emerging from trash bin] Comin' out, is she gone?

Mr. Tinkles:
[shakes his head] Urgh! Did Genghis Khan ever wear a bonnet? No. Attila the Hun? I don't think so. But he did wear a furry hat. Maybe a black bonnet? Uh, yes? Huh? No? Okay. Ahem. [lifts top of serving plate] The ninjas failed, and failure is unacceptable! [drops top of serving plate] If they ever show their faces again, [examines a roll] you know what to do.

Calico:
Yes. Tell them to wash with a loofah sponge. Kidding. Hello? Joke?

Mr. Tinkles:
[annoyed] This can't be happening. [angrily] I want them ELIMINATED! [slams his fist on the end table]

Calico:
Bu-but they, they did manage to bug the phone. You know, maybe we can look at the glass as half-full. [Mr. Tinkles growls and throws the roll at Calico] Ow! Th-that's what I like to do.

Mr. Tinkles:
Huh, putting a happy face on things, I see. What an interesting philosophy. At what point did you forget that WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?! [thunder claps loudly] The clock is ticking, and our margin for error is slight! Tomorrow, you will send in...the Russian.

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mr. Brody:
[on tape] Hi. Uh, doctor, the cure for dog allergies? Success, done!

Doctor:
[sneezes] Fantastic. Send it to me tomorrow, and I'll have our guys verify it.

Mr. Brody:
I will. I'll send it, [Doctor sneezes] first thing in the morning. God bless you.

Mr. Tinkles:
[stops the tape] This is unacceptable! If we do not act immediately, that work will be out of my reach forever! You know what that means?

Calico:
[confused] Huh? What? Oh. Who, me?

Mr. Tinkles:
[annoyed] Were you not paying attention?

Calico:
Not really. Are you mad?

Mr. Tinkles:
YES! I AM MAD!

Calico:
[ducks from Mr. Tinkles' paw] Whoa!

Mr. Tinkles You little bug of an imbecile!

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mr. Tinkles:
As for you, Brody herd, I have a very, very, special...[Reaches into a box on the desk, and pulls out cork gun] gift! [angrily] WHAT?!

Scott:
Whoa!

Mr. Tinkles:
I thought I told you to buy a real gun!

Calico:
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Mr. Tinkles:
Ohh! What possible use could I have for this?! [Throws the cork gun, firing the cork, breaking things and setting the room on fire] Hey. I'm so clever. [Starts to leave] You know this is? Yeah, this is just plain fun, yeah. [to Calico] I want you to stay here.

Calico:
Why?

Mr. Tinkles:
Because I hate you. [Closes the door, leaving Calico locked inside]

Calico:
[Begins pawing desperately at the door] No! NO! NOOO! HELP! NO! LET ME OUT!

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Sam:
Sir, request permission to pant heavily, sir!

Butch:
Granted.

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Lou:
Hey, you stupid cat!

Peek:
That'll get his attention.

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Peek:
The book says cut the red wire.

Butch:
We're dogs. We're color blind!

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Butch:
Hold on a second, kid.

Lou:
No!

Butch:
Hold it!

Lou:
Hey, they can't do this! You should've fought for me! For my family!

Butch:
Why? What good would it do?

Lou:
What about "Man's Best Friend"? History 101, remember?

Butch:
Okay, well, here's lesson number 2: We protect them. We work for them. We tolerate their stupid "boochy-boochy" baby-talk crap. AND FOR WHAT?! So when they go off to college, they dump you with some old lady who can't throw a ball without so much as BREAKING HER HIP! [He starts walking away]

Lou:
Is that what happened to you? [Butch stops] You gonna blame my family for what some boy did to you?

Butch:
[looks at Lou, shocked; walks to the fence-door] Look, kid, I'm sorry it played out like this, but it's over. We're shut down. [fence-door closes]

– Cats & Dogs  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mr. Tinkles:
Greetings, my furry friends! It is I, Tinkles! Free! Scot-free! [laughing] Meow, meow. Did you really think the Rock could hold me forever? I am definitely not an indoor cat! [steel drums are heard] HEY! Ringo! Enough with the steel drums here! I'm trying to talk, 'mon'!

Calico:
Hey, boss! I'm riffin'! Heh-heh-heh!

– Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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