Wikidude's Quotes Page #77

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Wuya:
Jack, use your Shen Gong Wu!

Jack:
Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks Wuya]

Wuya:
Not me you fool!

Jack:
Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks himself]

[Wuya kicks Jack in the butt and Jack uses the Changing Chopsticks, making themselves normal-sized again]

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Omi:
The jig is down! You're at the top of your rope! Spoon over that Wu! [Pauses, everyone stares at him].

Jack:
Oooh, oh! I got it! The jig is up, you're at the end of your rope, fork over the Wu! [Starts dancing and brings out an evil genius ribbon]

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Clay:
Dojo, you're practically one of them critters! Have any ideas?

Dojo:
[Indignantly] I BEG YOUR PARDON! That's like me saying you're practically a monkey. Just because she speaks with a British accent doesn't make her smart, like a dragon! We fly, breathe fire and chew with our mouths closed!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Raimundo:
No, the old hag won't think small like that. She'll be thinkin'...

Clay:
Yeah, anyway, Raimundo. Where I come from we have a sayin' follow the oil.

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kimiko:
Check out the spring in my step! Wudai Mars, Fire!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Omi:
We cannot just stand by and watch Wuya and Jack being chewed up by a big dinosaur.

Kimiko:
You're right. Someone better get the camcorder.

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Omi The Treasure of the Blind Swordsman is gone!

Raimundo:
This is all my fault for leaving it behind.

Clay:
Oh, what no good hombre could have taken it?

Dojo:
Hmm. I have a pretty good idea.

[At night, wolf howls]

Hannibal Bean:
With the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman mine, soon, the rest of the world will follow. Raah! [laughing evilly as its magic shines forth for him]

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Raimundo:
Way to kick butt! Especially when you can't see butt.

Omi:
I do not understand. How can someone without sight fight so well?

Blind Old Man:
[Sighs] Again with the questions. It is quite simple. I use my mind to see rather than my eyes. [loudly] DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME BEFORE? That is the secret to the treasure chest. The answers to all your questions lie inside. You just have to look.

Raimundo:
The treasure chest! We left it back on the trail!

Kimiko:
Uh, you left it back on the trail!

Blind Old Man:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must find the bathroom.

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Blind Old Man:
Perhaps you I'd like to surrender now.

Jack:
Perhaps you I'd like to keep your disses to yourself, four-eyes!

[Record scratches]

Wuya:
He's blind!

Jack:
Even better! Time to double-team, Mr. No-eyes! Ha ha! Jack's on an evil rant now! Thorn of Thunderbolt!

Wuya:
Silk Spitter!

Blind Old Man:
Mantis Flip Coin!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Jack, Wuya, and Blind Old Man touch the sack of Wu at the same time]

Blind Old Man:
I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Trio!

Raimundo:
Come on, let's take 'em!

Omi:
No, we cannot dishonor his challenge.

Jack:
Our Thorn of Thunderbolt and Silk Spitter against your Mantis Flip Coin and the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman.

Blind Old Man:
The game is Emperor of the Train. Last man standing wins.

Jack, Wuya, & Blind Old Man:
Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Blind Swordsman:
You have summoned the spirit of the Blind Swordsman, loyal to whoever possesses the treasure chest.

Raimundo:
So, how about showing us how to use our new weapons?

Blind Swordsman:
Open your mind and trust that your weapon will show you the way.

Omi:
Shimo Staff! Ha! Oh ho! My weapon and I are most magnificent! [smooch]

Clay:
Big Bang Meteorang, do your stuff! Ha! Huh? Whoo! Well, I'll be a 3-legged centipede!

Kimiko:
Arrow Sparrow! [Boom] Burn, baby, burn!

Raimundo:
Blade of the Nebula! Huh? Hah! Whoo! I got the power! Hoo! Hoo! I got the power!

Omi:
Come, Dojo. We must rescue the blind old man at once!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Omi is stuck to a cactus]

Kimiko:
Omi! Are you okay?

Omi:
[cringing] I have a thousand needles in my backside! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jack:
[Doing a crossword] What's a four-letter word for idiot?

Wuya:
Jack.

Jack:
Perfect!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Blind Old Man:
[As he's being kidnapped] Hey! Who is that? Where am I? I need to use the bathroom.

Wuya:
[To Jack] What about the treasure chest?

Guardian:
What?! That's disgusting! [Pauses] You- you were talking to me?

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Raimundo:
She's not your mom, she's a robot!

Omi:
[shocked] A robot!?

[The Xiaolin monks furiously turn to Jack Spicer]

Jack:
[gesturing to Wuya and Hannibal; cowering fearfully] Hey, they made me do it. They made build all other robots. Hannibal Bean then used the Moby Morpher to make my robots look like your relatives. If you had any.

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Omi and Omi robot mother touch the Shen Gong Wu at the same time]

Omi:
[shocked] Mother?!

Robot Mother:
I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. The game is Bamboo Hopping. First to fall, loses.

Omi:
[heartbroken] My mother…on the side of evil?

Robot Mother:
When you're a parent, you'll understand. I wager my Orb of Tornami against your Lasso Boa-Boa.

Omi:
How'd you get my Orb?!

Robot Mother:
I went through your pocket when you were clipping your father's toenails.

[Camera zooms in on Omi's face, feeling angry over being turned against by his own mother]

Omi & Robot Mother:
[in unison] Let's go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Hannibal:
You're talkin' to Hannibal Roy Bean.

Raimundo:
Oh, yeah! Well listen mister musical fruit I eat beans for lunch.

Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Sir Humphrey:
How are things at the Campaign for Freedom of Information?

Sir Arnold:
I'm sorry, I can't talk about it.

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Sir Humphrey:
[Talking about his promotion] The relationship which I might tentatively venture to aver has been not without some degree of reciprocal utility and perhaps even occasional gratification, is approaching a point of irreversible bifurcation and, to be brief, is in the propinquity of its ultimate regrettable termination.

Hacker:
... I see.

Sir Humphrey:
I'm... on my way out.

Hacker:
What?

Sir Humphrey:
There comes a time when one has to accept what fate has in store. When one passes on.

Hacker:
[horrified] Passes on!?

Sir Humphrey:
To pastures new, perhaps greener, and places oneself finally in the service of one who is greater than any of us.

Hacker:
Humphrey... I'm so sorry.

Sir Humphrey:
Oh, thank you, Minister.

Hacker:
Does Lady Appleby know?

Sir Humphrey:
Well, she's suspected it for some time, apparently.

Hacker:
When did they tell you?

Sir Humphrey:
This afternoon.

Hacker:
How long did they give you?

Sir Humphrey:
Oh, just a few weeks...

Hacker:
[horrified] A few weeks!?

Sir Humphrey:
Well, it'll give me enough time to sort everything out.

Hacker:
[his eyes filling with tears] Oh Humphrey, you're so terribly brave.

Sir Humphrey:
Well, one is a little anxious of course. One is always rather wary of the unknown, but I have faith somehow I'll muddle through.

[Hacker takes his handkerchief out of his pocket and begins to cry into it]

Sir Humphrey:
Minister, what is the matter?

Hacker:
I am sorry, Humphrey. Just, well we had our ups and downs.

Sir Humphrey:
Oh Minister, do not take on so. We will still be seeing one another regularly. Yes, once a week at least.

[Hacker looks up, aghast]

Hacker:
What??

Sir Humphrey:
I have not told you where I am going yet. I have been appointed Secretary to the Cabinet.

Hacker:
Secretary to the Cabinet?

Sir Humphrey:
What did you think I meant?

Hacker:
I thought, I..., I....

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Sir Humphrey:
Bernard, what would you say to your present master as the next Prime Minister?

Bernard:
The Minister?

Sir Humphrey:
Yes.

Bernard:
Mr Hacker?

Sir Humphrey:
Yes.

Bernard:
As Prime Minister?

Sir Humphrey:
Yes.

[Bernard checks his watch]

Sir Humphrey:
Are you in a hurry?

Bernard:
No; I'm just checking to see it wasn't April the First.

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Sir Arnold:
So, will our next Prime Minister be our eminent Chancellor or our distinguished Foreign Secretary?

Sir Humphrey:
That's what I wanted to ask you, which do you think it should be?

Sir Arnold:
Hmmm. Difficult, like asking which lunatic should run the asylum.

Sir Arnold:
Have we any allies?

Sir Humphrey:
Oh, quite a few yes; the Chief Whip, particularly. But he's worried that whichever gets the job will antagonise the other's supporters and split the party.

Sir Arnold:
So we're looking for a compromise candidate.

Sir Humphrey:
Hmm. Malleable.

Sir Arnold:
Flexible.

Sir Humphrey:
Likeable.

Sir Arnold:
No firm opinions.

Sir Humphrey:
No bright ideas.

Sir Arnold:
Not intellectually committed.

Sir Humphrey:
Without the strength of purpose to change anything.

Sir Arnold:
Someone who you know can be manipula— professionally guided.

Sir Humphrey:
And leave the business of government in the hands of the experts.

[Long beat as Sir Arnold and Sir Humphrey slowly realise Hacker is the perfect candidate. They catch each other's eye and burst into uproarious laughter.]

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Discussing possible reasons for the Prime Minister's early retirement]

Bernard:
Minister, I've heard something quite different.

Hacker:
What?

Bernard:
That there is £1 million worth of diamonds from South Africa in a Downing Street safe, but of course it's only a rumour.

Hacker:
Is that true?

Bernard:
Oh, yes.

Hacker:
So, there ARE all those diamonds in Downing Street!

Bernard:
Are there?

Hacker:
You just said there were.

Bernard:
No, I didn't.

Hacker:
Yes, you did! You said you'd heard this rumour, I said is it true, you said yes!

Bernard:
I said yes, it was true that it was a rumour.

Hacker:
You said you heard it was true!

Bernard:
No, I said it was true that I heard it!

Annie:
I'm sorry to cut into this important discussion, but do you believe it?

Hacker:
I believe I heard it. Oh, about the diamonds. No.

Annie:
Is it impossible?

Hacker:
No, but it's never been officially denied. First rule in politics: never believe anything until it's officially denied.

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Bernard is waiting at the Hackers' flat for the Minister to come home]

Annie Hacker:
He's obviously been held up. You can stamp some of these cards for me while you're waiting if you like.

Bernard Woolley:
Oh, but aren't they to constituents?

Annie:
Yes.

Bernard:
Well, that's not government business, Mrs Hacker, that's political activity. I'm not allowed to help with the Minister's political activities.

Annie:
Suppose they were all to journalists?

Bernard:
Oh, that would be alright.

Annie:
They're all to journalists.

Bernard:
Fine. I suppose licking is an essential part of relationships with the press.

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[The EEC wants to standardise sausages, and it turns out British bangers are not up to the standard]

Hacker:
By the end of next year, we shall be waving good-bye to the good old British sausage, and we'll be forced to accept some foreign muck like salami or bratwurst or something in its place.

Bernard:
They can't stop us eating the British sausage, can they?

Hacker They can stop us calling it the sausage, though. Apparently, it's going to be called the "emulsified high-fat offal tube".

Bernard:
And you swallowed it?

Yes, Minister, Series Three (1982)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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What TV show has the quote "man hands on misery to man it deepens like a coastal shelf"?
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C Prince of Peroria
D A Series of Unfortunate Events