Wikidude's Quotes Page #75

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Marshall:
Lloyd, you know how girls like you?

Lloyd:
Yeah.

Marshall:
Um, I was wondering if you get a lot of 'em tonight, if it's cool if I take your overflow?

Lloyd:
Marshall, I bequeath you my overflow.

Marshall:
YES!

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Theo:
He [Steven] was always a geek in high school.

Lizzie:
Hey, none of us were perfect in high school. So, you were a geek. Everybody was something. I was a slut.

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Steven:
[Holding an armful of condoms] Well, I think I have enough condoms... for tonight!

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Steven:
[Fighting with Hillary] You're not my stepmother! You are not my stepmother!

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Lucien sees Perry duct taped to the ping-pong table]

Lucien:
What happened?

Perry:
"What happened" what? Oh, I strapped myself here. I have a girl coming by to pleasure me in a few minutes.

Lucien:
Are you serious?

Perry:
No! You moron! Untie me!

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Rex:
You know what a relationship is? Real Exciting Love Affair that Turns Into Ongoing Nightmare... Sobriety Hangs In Peril. Something like that, I got it tattooed on my back, you wanna read it?

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Rex:
She's a good girl man, I know.

Eric:
I know.

Rex:
Reminds me of another girl I once knew.

Eric:
Who?

Rex:
Her name is Your Mother. I'll tell you something, buddy. There is nothing as good as the love of a good woman. Except ecstasy.

Undeclared  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[First lines of the series]

Lizzie:
How do you say "We're so happy to see you" in-- What is the language there? Afghanistanish?

Riley:
Uh, it's Pashto. And I only know a few phrases.

Lizzie:
Like?

[Riley speaks Pashto language.]

Lizzie:
Which means?

Riley:
Please, god. Get me out of here.

Lizzie:
So you can say that and not "We're so glad you're here!"?

Riley:
Lizzie, the whole time I served in Afghanistan, I never heard anyone say, "We're so glad you're here!". We should've brought him a welcome gift. When I went back for my second tour, he was waiting for me on the tarmac with a pot of pacha.

Lizzie:
Ooh, is that something you eat or smoke?

Riley:
It's a traditional Afghan breakfast soup made of sheep's hooves.

Lizzie:
Seriously?

Riley:
I know, it sounds more like a lunch food, doesn't it? Al's mom used to make it for us.

Lizzie:
Aw. Are you gonna cry when you see him?

Riley:
Marines don't cry, Lizzie.

Lizzie:
They don't, huh?

Riley:
No. Those babies in the Air Force cry when their sunglasses get smudged. There he is, there he is. Al, over here!

Al:
Hi. Oh, my friend. I'm so happy to see you.

Riley:
I was worried you weren't gonna make it.

Al:
Me, too. But you found a way.

Lizzie:
Hi, Al.

Al:
Lizzie. It is so good to finally meet you.

Lizzie:
Thank you for keeping my brother safe. Oh, thank you!

Al:
Oh, look at this. Today, we are all in the Air Force.

United States of Al, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Al:
Vanessa, having tea is an important part of my culture. It facilitates dialogue, even among the most bitter enemies. During the war, Riley and I would do this to try to resolve disputes.

Vanessa:
I get that, Al, but I just really don't think this is gonna help us.

Riley:
Yeah, I already told him that.

Vanessa:
Oh, shut up.

Al:
Of course, in Afghanistan, we were mostly dealing with murderous warlords. This is my first time working with a married couple.

Vanessa:
Well, we won't be married for long.

Riley:
Why'd you even come here? I mean, don't you have anything better to do?

Vanessa:
I came out of respect for the guy who saved your life.

Riley:
You came to punish me.

Vanessa:
I don't have to punish you, Riley. You punish yourself.

Al:
I have to tell you both, I am missing the warlords right now. Vanessa, why don't you tell me what you think went wrong with your marriage?

Vanessa:
Oh, Al, I don't even know where to start. I mean, the mood swings, the drinking. He won't go get help. He refused to go to counseling. I just had enough.

Al:
Okay, thank you. I have only been here one day, but I have also seen the mood swings and the drinking.

Riley:
Hey. Whose side are you on?

Al:
I am in the middle. Look. This is on purpose.

Vanessa:
I'm sorry, but I'm done trying to raise my daughter with a guy who I can't trust.

Al:
I understand that, too. When I met Riley, I did not trust him either. And I was right not to trust him. Did you know the first time he gave me a gun, he did not put bullets in it?

Vanessa:
You're kidding.

Al:
I am not, and I discovered this in the middle of a firefight.

Riley:
I had to know you weren't gonna shoot me.

Al:
And in that moment, when I was clicking away and nothing was coming out, I really wanted to. The point is, we did not trust each other then. But we do now. Trust is earned.

Vanessa:
Well, he's got a long way to go.

Al:
Oh, I agree.

Vanessa:
Right now, he's at zero with me.

Al:
Oh. Zero is good. I would not have gone that high.

Vanessa:
But I do like you.

Al:
You know what's funny? The warlords also liked me and not him. Vanessa, you are as wonderful a woman as Riley always said. I'm so glad we finally got to meet.

Vanessa:
Me, too.

Riley:
Excuse me. But, we haven't resolved a thing here.

Al:
No, but we are talking, which is a good first step. If the two of us could learn a language he does not know, that might be helpful for the future.

Vanessa:
I speak a little French.

Al:
Ah. Moi aussi.

Riley:
I can learn French.

Al:
Just drink your tea.

Vanessa:
So, what other nice things did he say about me?

Al:
Where do I begin? Your hair, your eyes, your laugh...

Riley:
Oh, come on!

United States of Al, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Amelia Reardon:
The boys couldn't stop telling me stuff. I was pretty tremendous. I think I have a future at this. [sees him reading her book] You're reading it! Finally.

Wayne Hays:
Yeah, I read it. Kept seeing my name. [pause] Are you drunk?

Amelia Reardon:
No! I had a drink at dinner. This detective took me out to eat.

Wayne Hays:
Ah. Terrific.

Amelia Reardon:
I got a lot of info from him. Listen, her fingerprints were found just in the cosmetics aisle. Looks like she was probably a customer. They have the prior week's surveillance footage. I think they're going to let me look at it.

Wayne Hays:
[angry but controlled] I didn't get any of the shit you wanted at Wal-Mart.

Amelia Reardon:
[confused] OK... did something happen? Are the kids alright?

Wayne Hays:
The kids are fine.

Amelia Reardon':
Are you alright?

Wayne Hays:
I'm fine. But one thing? One favor? [throws the book across the room] Do not come bouncing in here, half in the bag, all giddy about this shit, alright? Can you do that? Can you summon the mental resolve to shut up about this shit with me?

Amelia Reardon:
If you feel this way, you don't have to talk to me like that. You can just tell me.

Wayne Hays:
You've been told. Now, why don't you check on your kids, since you haven't seen them all day. They're supposed to be in bed.

Amelia Reardon:
Fuck off! I'm with them five times the amount you are for a job that treats you like shit!

Wayne Hays:
I don't really feel like trading curses. I said my piece.

Amelia Reardon:
I'm not gonna stop, Wayne. [leaves]

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Wayne Hays:
How much do I have to lose?

Amelia Reardon:
Everything. Same as everyone else.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Roland West:
I don't like him. The Priest. And I know his alibi's good but... I don't like him. Man signs up to go without fuckin' for life, either he don't know himself for a liar, or he's some tight limited edition psycho, you know? I mean, everybody's fuckin' something.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Patty:
Just little things I do.

Wayne Hays:
Somebody bought 'em. Do you know who?

Patty:
Well, the last I sold these myself was at the fair in October. I'd only sold a couple and then one man bought ten off me. That was nice.

Wayne Hays:
You know who he was? You remember anything about him?

Patty:
Didn't recognize him. Negro man, like yourself. Oh, he had a dead eye. Filmy, you know, like a cataracts?

Wayne Hays:
Nothing 'bout his face besides the eye? Handsome, ugly?

Patty:
Well, like I say, uh, he was black.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Wayne Hays:
Do not talk talk shit in my face and walk away!

Amelia Reardon:
I don't wanna be around you right now.

Wayne Hays:
You want me to leave you alone, then stop talkin' shit! Because when you talk shit about me, I'm required to defend myself.

Amelia Reardon:
How can you defend yourself? You can't defend yourself because you don't know what's wrong.

[She tries to leave, but he blocks her way]

Wayne Hays:
Does the wife in your scenario play any part in the conflict? Any role in the last 10 years?

Amelia Reardon:
Let go of me!

Wayne Hays:
Stop talkin' shit about me!

Amelia Reardon:
Or what?

Wayne Hays:
[pause] Or I'm gonna start crying.

Amelia Reardon:
[disdainful] That's a first.

Wayne Hays:
Think we can't understand each other, we're never gonna! [turns to leave]

Amelia Reardon:
Oh, great, Wayne. Walk away. Surprise, surprise.

Wayne Hays:
What do you want me to do, huh? You want to yell some more? You want me to hit you, you want me to fuck you? Just give me my orders, major!

Amelia Reardon:
I wanna finish this!

Wayne Hays:
All on your schedule, I guess! Be happy when you say, fight when you say, talk when you say, fuck every so often.

Amelia Reardon:
[pause] How about right now?

Wayne Hays:
What?

Amelia Reardon:
[removing her panties] How about right now?

Wayne Hays:
[confused but turned on] You got some major cognitive dissonance.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Wayne Hays:
Would you have done it? Would you have shot one of them?

Roland West:
If I thought it was between him and me, then no, I could give a fuck what color he was.

Wayne Hays:
You sure about that?

Roland West:
Fact that these were black folks probably gave me more pause. Mob of white people surrounds me, smashes up my ride, there'd be a lot less hesitation about what I'd do.

Wayne Hays:
Can we say this was anonymous vandals?

Roland West:
We're not going with "irate Negroes"?

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Wayne Hays:
I found the spot they played in the woods. They were meeting somebody, the kids, out there. Somebody gave them toys. It's where the boy died.

Amelia Reardon:
The way Will's body was... how he saved the toys... It's almost as if there was an element of affection in it, don't you think?

Wayne Hays:
People who hurt kids think of themselves as having an affection for the children... even up to the "fuck 'em and murder 'em" part.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Roland West:
[to Freddy] I know we're a few weeks late here, but I wanted to wish you a happy 18th birthday.

Wayne Hays:
The fellas pitched in and got you life in prison, with a good possibility of choking in the gas chamber, you fuckin' shitheel little twerp.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Walden:
I’m not letting Charlie drive me out of this house. I reward his bad behavior.

Alan:
Yeah, that’s only supposed to happen in show business.

Two and a Half Men, Season 12  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Walden:
Wow, look at that.

Berta:
Someone's having a piano delivered by helicopter.

Alan:
That's the kind of extravagant thing Charlie would do. He had a baby grand just like that.

Walden:
It's coming right this way. You don't think...that it's possible that the cops got the wrong guy, do you?

Alan and Berta:
[after a thought] Nah!

[Charlie, seen from behind, walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell. He is immediately crushed by the piano. Pull back to Chuck Lorre, sitting in the director's chair]

Chuck Lorre:
[turning to audience] Winning.

[He is crushed by another piano, last lines in the series]

Two and a Half Men, Season 12  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Charlie:
[in a text to Walden] You despicable troll. You thought you could replace my ninja awesomeness, you lame clown. I will deploy army of assassins to destroy you, I will bring my bayonets of truth to the hexagon of death where I will carve my initials into your reptilian skull and cover you in tiger's blood.

Two and a Half Men, Season 12  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Walden:
This guy has some serious rage issues.

Police Lieutenant:
Has he tried anger management?

Walden:
Yeah, but it didn’t work.

Two and a Half Men, Season 12  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Wayne Hays:
Yeah, of course I remember.

Jim Dobkins:
Not too long ago?

Wayne Hays:
10 years is nothin'. I remember everything.

Jim Dobkins:
Well, we can't know. What you don't remember, you don't know you don't remember.

Wayne Hays:
That's some education on semantics you're givin' me. Hey, let's skip the deposition and I'll just take notes on your lecture.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Roland West:
I'm a feminist. They want to sell me a piece of ass, they got the right. Shit. You're gonna pay for it one way or another.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Roland West:
You see yourself gettin' married, Purple?

Wayne Hays:
No, sir. I'm not a big enough asshole to put a woman and children through that.

True Detective, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

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