Wikidude's Quotes Page #89

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Catherine:
This is a pretty good turnout for a dog funeral. Even the governor's here. Who are all these people?

Richard:
Novelty mayors are Iowa's number one form of tourism, after tornado chasing and coming into town to buy Sudafed.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Abortion protester:
Think of the innocent children!

Amy:
Oh, you want me to think about the children, you hog-fingering fucks? Well, guess what? I did think about this. I considered it, and I cried, and, yeah, suck my cock, I even prayed a little. And here I am. So you can back the fuck off, you hypocritical cunts, before I show up to the piss puddle that is your house and protest your husband whacking it to your daughter's seventh grade yearbook! That sign's misspelled.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Teddy:
Jonah, we focused tested the ad, and most people are uncomfortable watching a white man kick a black woman in the vagina.

Jonah:
Hey, I don't see vagina color.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kent:
Ma'am, we're scrapping tomorrow's schedule. You're making an appearance at the Iowa State Fair.

Ben:
Block and tackle retail politics. Eat a few corn dogs...

Selina:
Last thing I need is my picture being taken eating dick-shaped food. I'd rather eat a food-shaped dick.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ben:
Ma’am, you’re gonna be drowning in money so dark it could get shot entering its own apartment.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ben:
Tom and Kemi would make a formidable ticket.

Kent:
It would reassure people who look like him that the country wouldn’t be ruined by people who look like her.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kent:
In current gay parlance, Dan presents somewhere between a wolf and an otter, what some would call a frost otter.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Teddy:
Apparently, there has been an anonymous posting about a "dead-eyed, lantern-jawed, one-and-done congresstard" who acted in a sexually inappropriate manner.

Jonah:
OK, well, that could be anybody.

Richard:
Sounds like you.

Teddy:
Jonah, who have you traumatised? And start with the doctor who delivered you.

Jonah:
I haven't traumatised anyone!

Richard:
Well, there's your aide, Emma Gray.

Jonah:
Shnozz? She's stuck up - I was just calling her on it.

Richard:
Councilwomen Troy and Desconi.

Jonah:
Monster Tits and Monster Tits Junior? But all I did there was express some genuine concern that they have bras big enough to handle all that meat.

Richard:
At the Congressional Prayer Breakfast.

Jonah:
Yeah. It was exactly what Jesus would have done. He's a man, too, Teddy.

Teddy:
OK, listen Jonah, if anyone asks, just tell them you've been chemically castrated. It's very easy to lie about, and believe me, nobody checks.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Dan:
Ma'am, I ran a little intel, and apparently the secret to Felix Wade is to repeat the last two sentences that he says.

Selina:
C'mon, that is idiotic! Is he really that insecure?

Gary:
C'mon, that is idiotic! Is he really that insecure?

Selina:
Right? Gary gets it.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Dan:
Listen, I don't know if I'm ready to be a daddy to anyone who's not a sexy boho jewelry maker struggling to pay off her college loans, y'know?

Amy:
I appreciate the soul-searching.

Dan:
But if you wanna go dutch on the abortion or something, just hit me up on Venmo. Oh, and make it public - shows I'm a gentleman.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
You know what I would love to tell people, but I obviously can't?

Gary:
Well, say it here.

Selina:
I should be president because it is my goddamn turn! I was the game-changer. I took a dump on the glass ceiling, and I shaved my muff in the sink of the old boys' club! But for three years, Hughes kept me chained to a radiator in some basement in Cleveland, so as far as I'm concerned, America owes me an eight-year stay in the White House. And this time, I want a war!

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
God, I thought my 50s would be about fuckin’ and suckin’ my way through the Shorenstein Center.

Ben:
You and me both, ma'am.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Marjorie:
I'm sorry about Catherine, ma'am. She's suffering from post-partum depression.

Selina:
How can you tell?

Gary:
Well, the haircut...

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Lagertha:
[to Ragnar, while kneeling over Bjorn who was gravely injured] What happened?

Ragnar:
He was proving that you don't need the title to be a leader.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ragnar:
[Praying to Athelstan] You think I went too far with Floki. Can you actually believe that he thought that I would let him lead without having an agenda? If I was him, I would worry less about the gods and more about the fury of a patient man.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ragnar:
I always believed that death is a fate far better than life.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ragnar:
[while mourning his friend] Forgive me, my friend, not for what I have done. But for what I am about to do.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ragnar:
[at Athelstan's grave] What am I to do now? I hate you for leaving me. I ache from your loss. There is nothing that can console me now. I am changed, so are you.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Rollo:
[Viciously rubbing the wrist bearing the bracelet signifying fealty to Ragnar] Ragnar was always chosen over me. By my father. And my mother. And by Lagertha. Why would I not want to betray him? Why would I not want to scream at him saying, I am alive, too! It doesn't matter what I do. Ragnar is my father. He is my mother. He is Lagertha. Siggy. He is everything I cannot do. Everything I cannot be. I love him. He is my brother. He has taken me back. But, I am so angry. Why am I still so angry? You tell me wise one! Or, I will tell you. It is because I am useless. Hollowed out by failed ambitions. By failed loves. Nothing good could ever come from my life now.

[the Seer starts laughing]

Rollo:
What is there to laugh about?

The Seer:
Oh, Rollo, if you truly knew what the gods have in store for you, you would go down now and dance naked on the beach.

Rollo:
I don't understand.

The Seer:
I tell you as I told Ragnar. The bear will marry a princess. And I can tell you that you will be present at the ceremony. Now go and leave me.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ragnar:
Do you think you are a good man?

King Ecbert:
Yes, I think so. Are you... a good man?

Ragnar:
[after a small shrug] Yes. I think so. [pause] Are you corrupt?

King Ecbert:
[With a pleased smile] Oh, yes. Are you?

Ragnar:
Uh huh.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Rollo:
[to Bjorn about Porinn who was gravely injured in battle] I do not think she will die. She wants to live. She has a lot to live for. But, if she hears you weeping and lamenting, she will choose to die. Be strong. Be a man. Coax her back from Valhalla. But, make it worth her while. For she is already at the gates.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Floki:
[Grieving over Torstein] This is your fault, Ragnar. Torstein has died for a hill he did not want to own. For something which meant nothing to him. He has died a pointless death. How many more of us must die for your Christians? Or have you, in your heart, already renounced our gods and turned to the Christ God? Is that what your friend Athelstan has persuaded you to do? Look. Here we are... under an English sky... burying our dead... those we have sacrificed for Jesus Christ.

Ragnar:
We are all fated to die on a certain day, yes? But, it is our own choice to do as we please until that day comes. I did not force Torstein, or any of you to come for that matter. You all chose to be here. My heart is as heavy for Torstein as anyone's. But, I am sure that I will bump into him again soon. In the meantime, Floki, shut your face.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Rollo:
[to Ragnar and Floki who are arguing about why they fight for the Christians and risk losing their own people] Both of you, save your breath. We have a mountain to climb. Some of us will not see a dawn like this again... not here on Midgard, at any rate. So, let us try and speak well of each other... no matter how much we have been through together.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Floki:
A creaking bow, a burning flame,

Rollo:
Tide on the ebb, new ice, a coiled snake,

Floki:
Sons of a king, an ailing calf, a witch's flattery.

Rollo:
No man should be such a fool as to trust these things.

Floki:
No man should trust the word of a woman. The hearts of women were turned on a whirling wheel.

Rollo:
To love a fickle woman is like setting out over ice on a three year old colt or sailing a ship without a rudder.

Vikings, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

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