Editorial »

Recently Added Movie Quotes Page #8

Our vibrant community of passionate editors is making sure Quotes.net is up to date with the latest and greatest movie quotes of all time.

Type:

[the next day, Chris and Susie got their organs stolen] Chris Monsanto: Oh, they got me. Okay, they got my kidneys and great, the liver. Susie Wagner: Oh, they got my liver, too. And my ovaries. Chris Monsanto: Eh, big loss. I bet those empty egg cartons were filled with pure oxygen. They probably floated off on their own. Chris Monsanto: Brett. Brett Mobley: What? Chris Monsanto: Brett. Did you take our organs? Brett Mobley: You mean the ones you stole from Tommy Tumbles? Chris Monsanto: Okay, what? Brett Mobley: Oh, yeah. I found out all about it last night from Silly Sammy. I couldn't get to sleep after that duck got all in my head, so I went downstairs to hang out with my new best pals, who just happened to be watching my favorite late-night kids show, Sammy with Silly Sammy. Silly Sammy: Hey, kids. Are the grown-ups sleeping? Good, because there's something I want to tell you about, and it's not easy. It's about my good friend, Tommy Tumbles. Tommy's not well. And you know why? Silly Sammy: Because your parents stole his organs. They stole the precious insides from this tender tumbler lying here tonight. Silly Sammy: How you doing, T? Tommy Tumbles: [weakly] I'm tired, Sammy, but I'm hanging on. I got to get up. I got to make the kids smile. Silly Sammy: No. Just lie down. Just rest, my friend. You'll be okay. Silly Sammy: [to the viewers] He won't be okay. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Brett Mobley: Guess it's time to get on the old Snoozetown express, huh? Good thing I got my passport. And my ticket and money for snacks -- 50 snooze bucks, the only type of money they accept in Snoozetown. Brett Mobley: Oh, no. I can't find my snooze bucks. [Brett sees the duck in the painting that talks] Duck: Nobody likes you, Brett. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
[Dr. Gardner gives an idea to Chris and the gang, on how catch the stealing organ kids] Dr. Gardner: We're going to embed explosive dye packs in your vital organs. That way if someone tries to steal the, kapo -- [opens up the dummy splashing out explosive dye onto his face by mistake] Son of a bitch. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Captain: We suspect that kid are somehow behind this. You three are gonna go undercover and throw a slumber party. Susie Wagner: You wanna use us a bait? Captain: Here's your cover story -- You are Mort and Irene, an aging, childless couple. One day, Mort's low-life brother, Burt, came to visit, unannounced. It wasn't long before Burt was giving it to Irene on a steady basis. I mean, not that Mort cares, really. It had been so long since he had any sensation in that creamy nub he called a penis that he forgot what it felt like to be a man. Susie Wagner: ...Okay. What about the slumber party? Captain: L-L-Let me finish. In what could only be taken as a cruel joke, Irene decided to host a slumber party for the neighborhood children, filling their joyless home with the playful young voices that Mort's cloopy cheese dick could never provide. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
[Chris and the gang sees the photos of dead parents getting their organs captured] Susie Wagner: Wow. The spelling is awful. Brett Mobley: Yeah. [Brett sees all the letters scrambled on the photo in his vision] Brett Mobley: I know. Dead Parent from the Photo: They're all gonna find out you can't read. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Captain: There's an organ thief on the loose in Elmwood Park. The victim's are all married couples. Chris Monsanto: Why would somebody want to steal organs from corpses? Captain: I didn't say they were dead. Chris Monsanto: You said they were married. Pow! Brett Mobley: Haha. Pow! Captain: Are you drunk, Monsanto? Chris Monsanto: So what? – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Captain: We think everyone in town is infected with a Bezoar. It's only a matter of time. Susie Wagner: What do we do? Joanna Kerns: [on TV] Scientists say the only way to stop the Bezoar epidemic is to kill the original Bezoar. Susie Wagner: This is still on? Is it a commercial or a whole show? – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Joanna Kerns: If you're like me, you know the importance of a healthy diet and active lifestyle. Unfortunately, if you're like me, you have also been tricked into eating Bezoar Bites, which lab studies show are packed with hair and poker chips, A.K.A. Bezoar Fuel. And now you have a Bezoar growing inside you. Joanna Kerns: Bezoars may seem great at first. [shows a clip from Eagleheart, where Bezoar draw something on Brett's forehead] Chris Monsanto: What is that? Bezoar: Oh, it's what a Bezoar penis looks like. Joanna Kerns: But give them enough time, and they'll steal your friends, and ultimately try to kill you. Joanna Kerns: Thankfully, now there's Enzorbia Brand Yogurt. Enzorbia is packed with powerful probiotic cultures proven to kill harmful bezoars. So, try Enzorbia today and say bye-bye to Bezoars. [as the commercial ends, a new commercial shows up] Joanna Kerns: Hi. I'm Joanna Kerns, and you've probably seen my commercials for Enzorbia Anti-Bezoar Yogurt. Unfortunately, the woman in those commercials is not me. It's my Bezoar. Enzorbia is packed with enzymes that make Bezoars grow faster, stronger, and more evil inside you. If you have been eating Enzorbia, stop immediately and see your doctor. Joanna Kerns: Tell them Joanna Kerns sent you. [commercial ends] Chris Monsanto: I can't believe we trusted that disgusting thing. [while eating Enzorbia Brand Yogurt] Susie Wagner: Chris, stop eating that! Chris Monsanto: Mm. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Susie Wagner: Hey, Bezoar. I didn't hear you leave this morning. Bezoar: I don't know what you're talking about. Susie Wagner: Bezoar, we had sex last night. I know that we were both a little tipsy, but... Bezoar: Susie, I think you had sex with Brett. He must have tricked you into thinking that he was me. Susie Wagner: What? [Brett arrives] Brett Mobley: Hey. What are you guys talking about? Stuff? Susie Wagner: Bastard! [slaps Brett] Brett Mobley: [to Bezoar] What was that about? Bezoar: Who cares? That slap was the most contact you've had with a woman in years. Brett Mobley: Come on, Bezoar. Bezoar: C-C-C-C-Come on, you stuttering prick. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
[Chris explains how he did the puppet attack move on Terry Lord] Chris Monsanto: So, that's why I work the testicles. You don't see the bruises. Bezoar: Wow. Everything you say is so wise. From now on, I'm gonna to call your Mr. Wisdom. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
[while Bezoar is capturing information in the Marshals Office at midnight, Susie arrives] Susie Wagner: Oh. Hey, Bezoar. Bezoar: Hey, Susie. What are you doing here? Susie Wagner: I'm just getting some files. Bezoar: That's cool. I was just downloading the new Sade album to everyone's computers. Susie Wagner: Oh, I...love Sade. Bezoar: Really? Me too. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Susie Wagner: We're U.S. Marshals. Where are the diamonds? Terry Lord: Diamonds? This is an auto body shop. Speaking of which, I'd like to do some bodywork on you, little lady. Susie Wagner: Well, I think you should fix that dent in your side, first. [Susie kicks Terry in the gut] Brett Mobley: And your busted ear-view mirror. [Brett brutally rips Terry's ear with his mouth] Chris Monsanto: Or this hole in your spine. [shoots Terry] Sorry, I don't know much about cars. Now, confess! Terry Lord: You ain't getting nothing out of me. Chris Monsanto: Alright. If I can't get anything out of you, I'll just have to put something into you. [Chris puts his hand into Terry's back as a puppet] Chris Monsanto: Alright, now. Talk, grease monkey. Talk. [talks as Terry] Okay, okay. I confess. I confess. I'm the head of the diamond ring. You're right. You deserve a raise. [normal voice] Well, thank you very much. [talks as Terry] I'm talking about your I.Q. [normal voice] Hey, I thought you were the dummy. [talks as Terry] No, you're the dummy. [normal voice] Okay, well, just for that, you can go...straight to hell. [Brett and Susie laughed and clapped] Susie Wagner: That's great, Chris, but he's just the middle man. Chris Monsanto: What are you talking about? No, he just confessed. The case is closed, sweetheart. Bezoar: I don't know, Chris. I thought that confession was insincere. It seemed awfully tongue... [rips out Terry's tongue] in cheeks. [then Bezoar puts Terry's tongue right inside his private area] Chris Monsanto: Very nice, Bezoar. Very nice. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 6 days ago
Brett Mobley: Geez blagum frume clap. Bezoar: I beg your pardon? Brett Mobley: That means, "Let's go get milkshakes" in the new secret friend language I invented just now. Bezoar: Oh. I see. Brett Mobley: I'm gonna name you "Bezoar". Chris Monsanto: [to the viewers] [sarcastically] Okay, folks. Well, this looks like it's gonna be a lot of fun. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[Brett sees a replicate version of himself when the bezoar opens up] Brett Mobley: Whoa. It's another me, Bezoar: Hello. Chris Monsanto: [sighs] Great. Another Brett. Could we get the hairy turd back, please? – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
Captain: Brett, what the hell is that? Brett Mobley: Oh, what? This? Oh, it's my bezoar. Pretty cute, huh? Susie Wagner: Am I crazy, or has it grown? Chris Monsanto: Yeah, seriously, kid. What the hell are you feeding that thing? Speaker: 429 in progress. 2301 north baker. All unites respond. Captain: The Diamond Warehouse. Get over there, you three. Brett Mobley: Don't you mean, "us four"? [mentioning his bezoar] Captain: [tired] Just go. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[Chris and Susie check to see how Brett is doing] Chris Monsanto: Ooh. What's that horrible smell? Brett Mobley: Hey, guys. [carrying a mutant shaped egg] Chris Monsanto: What in the hell is that? Dr. Gardner: That is a bezoar. It's a mass of indigestible matter that accumulates in the stomach. And this little beauty is made up mostly of hair, poker chips, and chunks of couch cushion. Brett Mobley: I'm a Daddy. Chris Monsanto: Okay, Brett. Here, we'll destroy that for ya. Brett Mobley: NO! – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[Chris, Brett, and Susie play poker in someone's house] Poker Guy: So, I look in the back seat, and what do I see? A boa constrictor looking right back at me. And I look over at Whitey and I go, "Whitey, next time we go to the hardware store, let me pick out the garden hose". [laughs] Brett Mobley: Man, I just love our weekly poker games. Chris Monsanto: Yeah, right? [realizes] Wait a minute. We don't have a weekly poker game. Poker Guy: DIE, PIGS! [Poker Guy aggressively flips the table away revealing he's got a shotgun underneath, but instead, Chris managed to shoot the Poker Guy] Susie Wagner: Jewelry heist just went down across town. This poker game was all a distraction. Chris Monsanto: These cards aren't even real. They're Matzah. Brett Mobley: Yeah, and these poker chips are just pepperonis. [as Brett one of the poker chips, the scene then cuts to the next scene at the City Hospital] Dr. Gardner: He's gonna be okay. Brett swallowed a pound and a half of plastic poker chips. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[as Chief dies for real this time] Chris Monsanto: Now what? What reason do we have to keep going? The Baker: You don't need one. You just...keep going. [The Baker puts the cake hat onto the cake version of Chris Monsato's head which also shows that the Real Chris Monsanto is wearing his original hat that magically appears] The Baker: Because it's already on the cakes. Brett Mobley: Is it cool if I take one of these Cake Bretts? The Baker: No. [Brett gets one of his legs eaten off as he eats one of Cake Brett's legs] – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[as The Baker gives Chief the cake version of himself to end himself, just to make sure the Marshals got it all under control without him] Chief: Just remember, Chris, Brett, Susie...just remember that I lived. Chief: I LIII-- [dies as he squish his own cake version of himself] – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[as Chris and the gang chases the baker into his bakery, they're were in for a surprise] Susie Wagner: Oh, Chris, look. Chris Monsanto: These cakes show everything that's happened to us. The Baker: And everything that ever will. [The Baker shows all the cake creations of the main characters that will happen to them in their next adventures] Chris Monsanto: Geez. The Baker: I don't bake them after your adventures, Marshals. I made these cakes a long time ago. Susie Wagner: Are you saying you're...God? Brett Mobley: Charging full price for stale cakes? – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[as Chris shoots his own boss, the same baker arrives at their doorstep while having a cake that shows the same scene that Chris just did right now] The Baker: Congratulations. Your 976th and 977th kill. Chris Monsanto: How did you bake that so fast? The Baker: Is this Wednesday? Susie Wagner: No. It's Tuesday. The Baker: Sht. [runs away] – Eagleheart* (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[Chris and Humberto tries to get back at Chief by Humberto becoming Gabey again pretending he is killed] Chief: Gabey? Boy? Oh, dear lord. Chris Monsanto: [hiding in the closet with Susie and Brett] This is great. Chief: Dear god. Chris Monsanto: [chuckles] This is great. Chief: Oh, god. The bastards didn't finish the job. Guess I'll have to-- [Chief pulls up his gun and shoots Humberto, mistaken it as a dead body] Chief: Better get rid of the evidence. Time to burn this place down. [Chris and his gang came out of the closet] Chris Monsanto: Chief, no! Chief: What are you doing here? Chris Monsanto: Well, we figured out what you were doing, and so we set this whole thing up. Chief: So he's not really dead? Susie Wagner: No. He is. Y-You killed him. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
Chris Monsanto: Well, I think it's time we give the Chief a taste of his own dead-icine. – Eagleheart (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago
[after Chris figures out that his ghost son was a midget all along, there's more truths that Chris doesn't know] Humberto: The truth is I ain't really a ghost. I've been pretending to be for about 20 years. My Pops makes me do it so you'll keep being a Marshal. Chris Monsanto: Well, hold on a second. I'm your Pops. Humberto: Sorry to break it to you, pal, but you ain't. [Humberto grabs a picture of Chief and his son] Humberto: He is. Susie Wagner: Chief? Humberto: He discovered you way before you ever met him. He knew you had potential you just needed that little bit of rage to push you over the edge. So he got in touch with your lady and let her know how she could help her country. He was there when I got made and there when I quote, unquote, "died". Chris Monsanto: So, then, does this mean that my wife faked her death, too? Humberto: Nah. She really croaked having me. Susie Wagner: So, why did Chief need to have sex with her? Humberto: 'Cause droops here ain't got the goods. Chris Monsanto: [offended] Alright! Susie Wagner: What about my boyfriend, Calvin? [Humberto puts on his black jacket] Humberto (as Calvin): Hiya, Sue. Susie Wagner: Did you ever really loved me? Humberto: Nah. Brett Mobley: Well, what about my favorite waiter, Stu? [Humberto then puts on a hairnet] Brett Mobley: Oh, my god. Did you ever really love serving me crab legs? Humberto: NAH. Brett Mobley: SO WHAT ARE YOU F*ING TELLING ME HERE?! THAT THE LAST 10 YEARS, I COULD HAVE BEEN EATING CRAB LEGS?! – Eagleheart** (2011)	added by timothyj.29104 11 days ago

Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

Discuss these recent quotations with the community:

0 Comments

Notify me of new comments via email.

We need you!

Help build the largest human-edited movie quotes collection on the web!

The Web's Largest Resource for

Famous Quotes & Sayings

A Member Of The STANDS4 Network

Browse Quotes.net

#A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Random New Quotes

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

"Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more."

A Tom Cruise

B Johnny Depp

C Roald Dahl

D J. K. Rowling