Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #198

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Xavier:
My heart's beating to heal the suffering. I want to spread that beating around to those less fortunate than...

[an XRA logo appears out of thin air]

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Ugh! My water broke!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
When I was a boy, my preacher walked me into the woods and taught me the proud gaybegone Indian rituals developed by Chief Strongwrist.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
Mayor, I understand you've been having some dark thoughts and stormy visions.

Hurlan:
Yeah.

The Reverend:
Am I in them? What am I wearing? Oh, this is exciting! It's like being in the movies!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Meemaw, could I borrow a cup of your immortality juice?

Meemaw:
You'll have to milk it out of me.

[Meemaw shows her back of a bunch of immortal juice which looked like a cow's udder]

Meemaw:
You might need to mouth-prime the goo pump.

[Hurlan swallows Meemaw's juice udder to make it squirt faster]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
If you made the people sin like this, they're all gonna burn in hell!

Meemaw:
Aw, I guess you better save them from the burning.

Meemaw:
Bye.

Hambrosia:
Okay, bye.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss's Tapes:
"I refuze to do whut you assed."

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss's Tapes:
"Sad boy got dumb question."

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss's Tapes:
"When do I get my period?"

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
I want, uh, chocolate.

[Hambrosia's brain squeezes hard poop from its butt, but making it look like its chocolate flavored]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Chief:
How did you know that guy was wanted in 28 states?

Assy McGee:
I had a hunch, Chief.

Chief:
Well, your hunches are gonna get me fired, McGee.

Assy McGee:
My hunches make you look good, heh heh.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Assy shoots fake John Adams]

Assy McGee:
Looks like your inbox just got some new mail.

Fake John Adams:
I'm just an actor.

Assy McGee:
Can you play dead?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Assy McGee:
Well, well, well. If it isn't everyone's favorite whore killer, John Adams.

Fake John Adams:
Uh..I..

Assy McGee:
I've got 1 bullet, and it's got your e-mail address on it.

Fake John Adams:
I..I..

Assy McGee:
Don't make me hit send.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Massage Lady shows a picture of John Adams in the 1700s]

Assy McGee:
Hmm, that's John Adams. We gotta get to the parade.

Sanchez:
Assy, I don't think that this is the guy.

Assy McGee:
Sanchez, don't think, just run.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Assy calls a different John Adams on phone]

John Adams:
Hello?

Assy McGee:
Is John Adams there?

John Adams:
Yeah, speaking.

Assy McGee:
How does it feel to kill a hooker, John?

John Adams:
What?

Assy McGee:
I said, how does it feel to kill a hooker?

John Adams:
It's 4 in the morning. Who is this?

Assy McGee:
Did you kill a hooker?

John Adams:
No.

Assy McGee:
Oh.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Assy McGee:
We need to get into the database, Charlie.

Charlie:
I'm sorry, Assy, I can't do that. You know you're officially suspended.

Assy McGee:
Well, maybe this will help.

[Assy pulls out 2 dog show tickets]

Charlie:
I'm sorry, Assy, I don't think so.

Assy McGee:
Don't like the dog show, huh?

Charlie:
Thank you, no.

Assy McGee:
How about this? [shoots Charlie in the leg]

Charlie:
Ow, my leg! Oh, ho, ho!

Sanchez:
Assy.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Assy calls Sanchez on phone]

Sanchez:
Hello?

Assy McGee:
Sanchez?

Sanchez:
Yeah?

Assy McGee:
Meet me at the Hall of Record in 20 minutes.

Sanchez:
It's 4 in the morning.

Assy McGee:
I got a hunch about this dead hooker.

Sanchez's Wife:
Who is it?

Sanchez:
No one, honey. Go back to bed.

Sanchez:
I'll meet you there in 5 minutes.

Assy McGee:
5...I said 20.

Sanchez:
Ok, 20 minutes, fine.

Assy McGee:
Yeah, that means you're gonna be waiting there for 15 minutes.

Sanchez:
Right, 4:20, I'll see you there.

Assy McGee:
All right.

[Assy calls Sanchez again]

Sanchez:
Hello?

Assy McGee:
I'm running late. Make it 25. You haven't left yet?

Sanchez:
I'm just leaving now.

Assy McGee:
All right.

[Assy calls Sanchez again the 3rd time]

Sanchez:
Assy, what it is now?

Assy McGee:
Hey.

Sanchez:
Yeah?

Assy McGee:
Should we just blow this off?

Sanchez:
Assy, if it was important enough for you to call me at 4 in the morning--

Assy McGee:
I know, I know. But you know what, I've been up all night.

Sanchez:
I'll meet you over there.

Assy McGee:
You're a good cop, Sanchez [farts]

Sanchez:
Thanks, Assy.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Mayor:
So, you been to that Korean hand job place yet?

Chief:
No.

Mayor:
You haven't?

Chief:
Yeah, I got to get over there.

Mayor:
Oh, my god, Greg, run, don't walk.

Chief:
Yeah.

Mayor:
Me and the wife love it. Mm, mm, mm. You gotta keep it fresh.

Mayor:
Some people read the bible, and some people put a donkey mask on.

Chief:
Yes, they do.

Mayor:
So listen, Greg, I can't have this hooker murder mucking up this year's festival. I mean, we've got the parade, right?

Chief:
Mayor, I don't want that either.

Mayor:
Yeah. You got to nip this in the bud, Greg.

Chief:
Right, sure.

Mayor:
I mean, who goes out and kills a hooker on the eve of America's treasured celebration?

Chief:
Well, we're trying to figure that out.

Mayor:
Sometimes I feel like flushing this whole rotten city down the toilet. Hmm? That'd be one big toilet. We need to wrap up this case tonight, Greg.

Chief:
We don't have a suspect, sir.

Mayor:
Well, arrest someone, right?

Chief:
Right.

Mayor:
There you go. Now you go run and get me an arrest, huh?

Chief:
Arrest someone. Right.

Mayor:
All right.

Chief:
Thanks. F*ck you, Mayor. Damn it, Assy.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sanchez:
I mean, female hookers, they get killed all the time. It's practically part of what they do.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Assy Mcgee:
Well, what have we got, Chief?

Cheif:
What do we got? We had 1 dead girl. Now we got 5 cops dead, and a freakin' forensics expert.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Bar Redneck:
Look what happened to my finger!

[points out his swollen eye]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Hurlan's thoughts while getting bruised by townsfolks]

Hurlan:
And that's when I decided I didn't want to be a doctor no more.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Doc! Pull my pearly whites so I can get covered in pearly whi--

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
All the folks in town are gonna be desperate to bribe your vote, so you can just sit back and "rape" in the "rearwards" of your doggie-tastical position.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."
A The Wizard of Oz
B It's a Wonderful Life
C The Princess Bride
D Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory