Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #195

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Assy McGee:
I'm looking for the Archbishop. Tell me where he is, and all the babies get christened, I promise.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Assy McGee:
Forgive me, Father, for you have sinned.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Sanchez:
Assy, just don't do anything crazy.

Assy McGee:
Crazy's is my maiden name.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Assy McGee:
Sanchez, did I smoke cologne?

Sanchez:
Yes, you did, Assy.

Assy McGee:
Ooh! That was good.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Chief:
McGee! That's Lamont Dakota, The flirty black man!

Assy McGee:
It was an inside job.

Chief:
Damn it, Assy, No. It was a self-portrait. That's why his fingerprints were on it.

Chief:
That paint chip that you thought was from the van-- IT WAS FROM THE F***ING PAINTING, YOU IDIOT!

Assy McGee:
Um, wait. [pause] ...The van killed the painting.

Chief:
Have another drink, McGee.

Assy McGee:
I intend to.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Sanchez:
Here it is, Chief! You gotta see what he's done.

Chief:
Who?

Assy McGee:
Me.

Sanchez:
It's totally incredible! He took that fingerprint and reconstructed a full scale model of the portrait theif.

Chief:
McGee, the case was closed 3 days ago. Don't you check your e-mail?

Assy McGee:
E-mail's for nerds.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Chief:
[on phone] Yeah. Then drop your load in a dumper. Well, you can't get her pregnant if you--

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

DiLorenzo:
What's he doing in there?

Sanchez:
He's recreating the finger from the print.

DiLorenzo:
How come you're not in there with him?

Sanchez:
Assy works alone on molds.

DiLorenzo:
Whatever. Guy's still a douchebag, huh? [laughs]

Sanchez:
The kid's a diamond.

DiLorenzo:
Yeah, how about a diamond with rough edges, huh? [laughs]

Sanchez:
But isn't that the most valuable kind?

DiLorenzo:
I don't know.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Assy McGee:
I got a lead.

Chief:
Lead? What lead?

Assy McGee:
One of my bullets snipped a paint chip off the perp's van. I gotta tumbleweed this over to forensics.

Chief:
When?

Assy McGee:
Soon as I'm done wasting my ears here.

Chief:
Well, what do you expect me to tell the Mayor?

Assy McGee:
Tell him we need more black cops.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Assy McGee:
$1,400, right here.

Sanchez:
$1,400? That's a lot of money!

Assy McGee:
Pride never goes on sale, Sanchez.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Space Drifter:
Don't worry dude, they can't see you. You're divisible.

Dr. Wang:
Excuse me, do you mean invisible? Ass.

Space Drifter:
Yeah, whatever.

– Minoriteam  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Hurlan:
Doc, my Mommy's sick!

[My Mommy The Crow vomits on the Doc's face]

Doc:
I'll be the judge of that.

– The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Hurshe:
I got my sights on some big cheese, and as soon as I clean it out of me, I'm gonna land me a hotter, richer, fish to fry up in my [sprays her perfume below in her vagina] fishin' hole.

– The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Saul:
Personally, I prefer the soulful sounds of doo-wop to that crackerjack pap.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Bertrum:
Uh fellas, say, you heard the one about the evil mole man who distracts the two sentries? Good joke. It's long, but it has a good ending. You know, anecdote, really.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Bertrum:
Don't mention it. Seriously... [deep tone] Don't mention it.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Saul:
We need a plan!

Johnny Tambourine:
I've got it! When I was a boy, I had a neighbor named Terry Trickles. Terry liked lily pads. He called them toad floats.

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Robot:
Now, slow down, son. I'm just an old man who checked the organ-donor box on his driver's license.

Robot:
I didn't know some government agency was going to harvest my brain and stick it in an iron widget. So just slow down, damn it.

Saul:
Okay...

Robot:
Now that's too slow!

– Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Undercover Person:
It's tough to find good shoe leather.

Assy McGee:
Then you should try the striped belt.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Sanchez:
I'm just saying that you look like you're tired.

Assy McGee:
I'm just saying you're fat.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Sanchez:
You sure clean up nice, Assy. You look like you're going to a prom.

Assy McGee:
I can barely breathe in this penguin suit.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Sanchez:
My daughter could paint better than that. She's 4 years old.

Assy McGee:
Don't make me laugh, Sanchez. She couldn't do this.

Sanchez:
Well, she pretty good at art. She's ambidextrous.

Assy McGee:
Does that mean she has both a pod and a hose?

Sanchez:
That is not what I'm saying.

Assy McGee:
Wow. She could make love with herself. I envy that, Sanchez.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Assy McGee:
After you, DeRetardo.

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

Chief:
You're chained to your desk 'til your urine comes back clean.

Assy McGee:
I got a hot batch right here, Chief.

[literally pees his urine in front of the whole meeting]

– Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 11 months ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Browse Quotes.net

#ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ 

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
Who said: "I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate"?
A Alexander The Great
B Al Capone
C Martin Luther King, Jr.
D Vincent Van Gogh