Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #192

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[the trial continues]

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Three broken ribs. He ran for three and a half miles across to Hudspeth County with two hands filled with wet, saucy barbecue. Now, I want you to freeze the frame here. Let's freeze the tape of that. Freeze-frame. Enhance, enhance, enhance.

Troy:
Thank you. 12:57! That's what I was saying -- After midnight on Friday.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Any man's mistake. Hudspeth County is actually the only county in Texas in the Mountain Time Zone. Now, I'm a simple man. People would say I'm a stupid man. But it seems to me that Goody ran from Central to Mountain. So I submit to you...it was not 12:57 on a Friday morning, it was 11:57 on a Thursday evening. No further questions. YEAH! WHOO! All y'all doubted me.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I'd like to submit this next video as evidence to the court. Footage of Goody at the back of his restaurant. Now, would you walk me through this?

Goody Goody:
I'd spent the day serving food to the homeless.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] And something like that's gotta make a man hungry. Mm, just looking at that 'cue like a big, wet, brown butt. Just want to put your face in it.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Now, why don't you just walk over there and just take a hunk off of that beef and put it in your mouth?

Goody Goody:
Because it was 10 minutes after midnight, Friday morning.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] So what did you do with the meat?

Goody Goody:
Well, I loaded it up in my truck, and I drove west.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] You were tired, you were hungry, and you were distracted by the waves of odor coming off the flesh, just steaming that windshield, weren't you?

Goody Goody:
Yes, sir. The meat looked so good, I guess I just took my eyes off the road.

Gary Bunda:
[imitating tires squealing] Ooh.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Well, why don't -- Why don't you just reach over, and you could have had the barbecue then.

Goody Goody:
No.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I'm sure that Jesus would have forgiven you.

Goody Goody:
No, sir. No sir! I would never do that. I grabbed as much of it as I could hold, and I tried to run west.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] And if it pleases the court, I've got two fistfuls of pork from pork circle. Mr. Goody Goody, would you say you ran something like this?

[Gary imitates Goody acting like a running maniac holding two porks up in the air]

Troy:
OBJECTION! No one is questioning his ability to run with meat in his hands!

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I've got pork! Oh, I got pork, I got pork!

Satan:
I will allow it. It is highly entertaining.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] I'd like to call Goody Goody to the stand.

Satan:
Oh.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Now, Goody Goody, what was your profession while you resided on the the planet earth?

Goody Goody:
I was owner and manager of Q-Munion Barbecue.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Q-Munion Barbecue, the most awkwardly named Catholic-themed barbecue restaurant in all of Texas.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Troy:
TGIF. Thank God it's Friday, right? Was God thankful when one of his beloved sons blasphemed him? Now, we've all heard my less-than-esteemed colleague talk in a hackneyed southern accent. [referring to Gary] And in response to his argument...where's the beef? I'll tell you where the beef was. In his mouth, down his gullet, and in every inch of his digestive tract on the Friday in question. Thank you.

Gary Bunda:
[covers his mouth] I think he sucked.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[the trial begins by Goody Goody eating meat while being a Christian]

Satan:
Opening statements. Gary, you're up.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Ladies, and gentlemen of the jury, an angel walks amongst us here today. He says his nightly prayers every night before we dip him in battery acid. Now, I guess the good Lord himself must have heard those prayers, because I submit to you that Goody Goody does not belong here. [to Torture Jury #1] Mm, not like you, ma'am.

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] For not only is it no longer a sin to eat meat on a Friday, nor was it meat, nor did he eat it. Nor was it a Friday. Nor was the man even in the location of day in question! NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!

Satan:
We-- You're not asking questions. This is opening statements.

Gary Bunda:
[normal voice] Anybody can ask me a question. I'll answer questions.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Gary Bunda:
[southern accent] Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, Troy. You must be as nervous as a long-tailed cat in room full of rocking chairs.

Troy:
What, are you gonna uh, cook us all some fried chicken?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Troy avoids one of the law rocks but ain't was expecting to come right after him next]

Troy:
Hey. You want me on retainer, you gotta get a little better aim, fatso!

[Troy gets hit by a law rock]

Satan:
[to Goody] I hit a corporate attorney with 25 years experience counter-suing cancer victims for the tobacco companies, and you, eh...you hit Gary.

[Gary wakes up]

Gary Bunda:
Oh, no. I'm a lawyer now. [sighs]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Satan:
Rest of your record's pretty clean, so, uh...I think we could put you in the judgement court.

Goody Goody:
Really?! Oh, what do I need, a lawyer?

Satan:
We're in Hell, Iggy. Can't throw a rock without hitting one.

Goody Goody:
[laughs]

Satan:
Oh, look...some rocks. Let's go get a lawyer.

[cuts to the next scene]

Gary Bunda:
Okay, I'm sick of this. Who's got my toe? Okay, who's got my toe? It's two inches long, it's red, it used to have a nail on it --

[Gary gets hit by a law rock from Goody Goody]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Satan sees Goody Goody's appeal form]

Satan:
It says you ate meat on a Friday.

Goody Goody:
What?

Satan:
Yeah.

Goody Goody:
I-I wouldn't do that. I'm a Catholic.

Satan:
You know, it's not even a sin anymore. That kind of makes you want to say "Goddamn it," doesn't it?

Satan:
[Goody's accent] Goddamn it.

Goody Goody:
[says his prayers] Our Father, who art in --

Satan:
Oh, get the hell up.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Ben:
So, uh...me and Johnny are gonna go rape us a donkey. There might be room for one more, if you're interested.

Goody Goody:
Uh, no. No, thank you. I find that quite repulsive. Also, it's a sin, so even if I wanted to, which I don't --

Ben:
You think you're so much better than us, don't you, Goody Goody?! If you don't want to be down here, why don't you file an appeal, you dumbass. You're so good, I don't know why you're down here in the first place.

[Goody sees an appeal form for jury in the restroom]

Goody Goody:
Well, son of a B.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Fitz hides in the Roostre's bunker]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Now what do we do?

[Skillet turns on the light switch showing a lot of ammo and weapons, Roostre has owned]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Holy shee. Damn, Rooster.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Green Sweatered Woman suddenly gets split in half with her skull opened]

Rectangular Businessman:
Ooh, what happened? I guess now you have a more serious problem than having to pee.

Green Sweatered Woman's Left Half & Right Half:
That wasn't nice. That wasn't nice. That wasn't nice. That wasn't nice.

Green Sweatered Woman's Left Half:
You can't kill me.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Shark and Square Guy sees Fitz and Skillet on a jet skateboard]

Shark:
Where is little mighty mouse going?

Rectangular Businessman:
[sighs] I don't know where he's going. Why don't you just put this little car -- This poor, boring little car in gear and chase him?

Shark:
It's in the gear. It only has one.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Green Sweatered Woman:
I have to pee. I have to pee. I have to pee. I have to pee. I have to pee.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Fitz steals beers from the gasoline]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
This was free. Somehow this was free.

Skillet:
[squeals, while holding pump that's on fire]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
And the gas is free, too.

Skillet:
[squeals]

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
The guy in there told me.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Green Sweatered Woman:
What kind of car is it? That's a neat car. Where'd you get this car? How much did this car cost? How much did this car cost? How much did it cost, the car? Is this your car 'cause it's neat. What kind of car is this? That's a neat car. Where'd you get this car? How much did this car cost? How much did this car cost? How much did it cost, the car? Is this your car 'cause it's neat. What kind of car is this? That's a neat car. Where'd you get this car? How much did this car cost?

Rectangular Businessman:
[sighs] That bitch knows too much.

[Shark rolled the window down]

Shark:
[to Green Sweatered Woman] Get in.

[while Green Sweatered Woman gets in the car with them, Shark's radio plays]

Green Sweatered Woman:
What song is this? Did you downloaded it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get this song? Did you buy it? Can you burn it for me? Will you burn me this song? Will you burn me this song? Where we going? I said what song is this? What song is it? Who's singing it? Are we there yet? Are we there? Are we there? Are we there?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
I have that involves Skillet and I. Leaving.

Liquor:
What do you want us to do?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Um...stuff. Just do some stuff. We'll be back.

Liquor:
And where are you going?

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Where are you going? Where haven't we ever been?

[Fitz leaves]

Golden Joe:
You just let him leave like that and leave us here with a broken hand to get us killed? Now, how are you gonna do me like that? My -- My head hurts. Every time I damn turn around, I see an eyeball or hand or something always going wrong up in here. What the hell am I doing in here? I'm all tired, man! I'm tired of this [Whoo] This [Whoo] Get me off! [Whoo] at my head.

Liquor:
You are so mean when you're drunk.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Eye:
That's the hand that cut off my leg.

Second Eye:
No, that's the hand that cut off my leg.

Eye:
No. My leg.

Second Eye:
No. My leg.

[the Eye and Second Eye both keep bickering the same sentences who's leg got cut off throughout the entire situation]

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Something's telling me this hand knows more than it's telling me. This hand is up to something. [drinks beer] It knows some stuff, and it won't tell us.

Golden Joe:
For real, man? I think it's trying to straight-up trip. I think it's trying to hamburger its way into eating us a hot dog or something, homey, 'cause I had a hot dog in my day, man. Boy, them franks [Whoo]

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Shark:
You dig?

Rectangular Businessman:
Oh, I dig, and I know that you dig what you dig, but I hope he digs what you dig. He is watching, you know.

Shark:
Then watch on, my brother. Watch as the Black Shark turns it all the way up.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Shark:
You know, this town really pisses me off.

Rectangular Businessman:
I know. It pisses me off, too.

Shark:
There's not one person here who will race me, and that is sure to piss off a guy who owns the fastest car in the west...or the east. It doesn't matter.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
Honestly, no one really cares about your poor little car. It's also so boring.

Shark:
Well. [pushes the button to blow up a building]

Shark:
They better start caring. [presses the button multiple times blowing up more buildings]

Shark:
'Cause I care about it a lot.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

[Spider plays the piano]

Roostre:
Man, what the hell you playing, man? Is that ol' Booger Haze?

Spider:
AAH! [gets interrupted and plays the piano aggressively]

Roostre:
Hey, man. Don't get pissed. I'm just saying. It sounded remotely like Booger Haze.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

Roostre:
Now this is a nice chair. This ain't no naugahyde. This a real leather chair.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 9 months ago

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