Sgt. Pat Mounder:
Are you playin' mental games with me, maggot?
Private Pontle:
No, sir!
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
Am I playing mental games with you, maggot?
Private Pontle:
I really don't know. I-I really don't know, sir! [sobbing]
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
Do I look like I'm playing mental games? Look me in the eye. What do you see in there?
[Pontle and Sgt. Pat Mounder look at each other while talking in their own minds]
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] God, I hope he can't really see inside me -- How fragile I am...how I can only fell big by belittling others...how I'd crumble were I not held whole by his fear of me. Can he tell that I'm the real maggot?
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Hey, now I'm not gonna let you beat yourself up like that.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] Wait. How did -- I can hear your voi--
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Shh! It's okay. I genuinely respect you, not because of your performance of masculinity, but in spite of it.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] But...I'm toxic trash.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] You know, what I see behind all your emotional armor? A real cool cookie.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] For real?
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Triple sugar shine real, real.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I've waited my whole life to hear someone tell me that. Now that it happened, why do I still feel so alone inside?
Private Pontle:
[thinking] You're not alone. I'm in there with you. You're my tough little guy, okay? Who's my tough little guy?
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I am.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] I can't hear you.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I-I'm your tough little guy!
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Louder!
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I'm your tough little guy! God, I feel so appreciated for the first time. How can I ever thank you, guy?
Private Pontle:
[thinking] How 'bout, uh, maybe...I don't know...a...a little kiss?
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] Oh. That's not what I...that -- That would make me uncomfortable.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] After all I've done for you? One quick little kiss inside of our minds? No one has to know.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] Um, okay. Um, well, o-okay, just...just one.
[smooches]
Private Pontle:
[thinking] That wasn't so bad, was it?
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I guess not.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Gimme a little more. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] This is all happening so fast.
[growling]
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] What was that?
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Be still, my cookie. This'll be over quick.
[Pontle consciously eats the General's face]
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] Where'd I go? Where am I?
Private Pontle:
[thinking] You're in the realm of love eternal. Isn't it beautiful?
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I-I don't know.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Just kidding. You're in my tummy.
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] It's beautiful.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Oh, boy. I gotta go to the bathroom.
[Pontle then bring back his face by consciously pooping him out]
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
[thinking] I feel like you're taking advantage of me, Private.
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Aw, that's all in your head. Which reminds me -- I-I forgot to wipe. Hang on.
[Pontle wipes his own butt of poop which transfers to Sergeant's eybags]
Private Pontle:
[thinking] Well, we better get back to it before the guys notice anything. And don't you dare squeal about what I done did to you.
[Pontle and Sgt. Pat Mounder came back to reality after the whole mind conversation]
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
Well, do I look like I'm playing mental games, maggot?!
Private Pontle:
No, sir! You're not, I swear!
Sgt. Pat Mounder:
Then answer this question, maggot -- Why do you treat me like dirt when all I ever wanted was to bask in the light of your love?! [sobbing]
