Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #261

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,261 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Doc: I'll crack open Ham... [literally cuts open Hambrosia] Doc: ...and snatch her eggs. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Doc: We do this turkey-style. Fill this with baster paste. Here's some chick lit to help you slop your gobbler. Sheriff: Okey strokey. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hambrosia: Exciting news! Meemaw thinks it's time you and me had a baby! Sheriff: But, chicken, God was too nauseous to bless you with a soggy box. You're plain as puke down there. Hambrosia: I hired a surrogate. You'll sir her gut. Hurshe: Let's chop-chop this boot knock! I got poon to peddle! Sheriff: Oh, shucks! I get to shuck your sister, on the up and up and-- Ohh! Ohhhhh! [jizzed hisself] I'm just gonna need a minute to get hard again. Hambrosia: No, sills. We'll do it surgically. Sheriff: Aw, shucks! But for real this time! – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Sheriff: I got us a new toy, baby! Come peel my carrot! Hurshe: You're gonna have to toss your own salad. I got a job across town. Ho dough before honey, honey. Sheriff: But I roided up my nugs for you! My sack wrigglers is chompin at the tip of my bit! Hurshe: Yech! You got scroat rage! Ugh! Sheriff: [upset] Guess I'll just head home to my... [vomiting] lovely wife. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Boss Hoss: This town is cursed with a secret. And the secret is... everybody knows the town is cursed, but everybody thinks it's a secret! Only, the real secret is... Meemaw: IT IS! [gargled scream] – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
[after Sheriff saves Hurshe from killing herself] Hurshe: Who are you, again? Sheriff: I'm your knight in shining amour, who holds devotion above all. You know, your sister's husband. [Hurshe starts to strongly choke Sheriff] Hurshe: Oh, yeah? Well, then you better swear by the cream in your jeans that you'll find a way to put me in charge of Heartshe Holler, even if you have to wipe Heartshe Holler off the ass of God's face to do it! Sheriff: Cross my cream...and hope to grind. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hurshe: I'm coming for you, Daddy! [exhales sharply] Hurshe: Ooh, I'm coming, Daddy. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Doc: The dong swaperation was a success. But I found this tucked inside your papa's nethers. [Hurlan licks the tape] – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hurshe: So, can I have the town now, Daddy? Boss Hoss: You possess a mouth like you got an E-Z glide strip on the inside of your lip. But the answer's still no. [laughs] Hurshe: I hate you, Daddy! I'm gonna kill myself so I can come get you in the afterlife! – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hurshe: I wanna own this town so bad, Daddy! Won't you change your mind? Boss Hoss: My mind is being changed right now. Hurshe: Oh-ho! You're damn right it is! I can be very puss-suasive. Mouth puss that is. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Boss Hoss: I just need you to take that red envelope over to the Doc, and you tell him I said your brain is perfect. Hurlan: Ha! Mwah! Hot dog! [Hurlan leaves] Boss Hoss: Perfect to be removed and replaced with my brain...so I can continue to reign supreme. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Boss Hoss: Life began 13.7 billion years ago today, when a disgusting mutant crawled out of the primordial ooze and hollered, "I am God! And I don't care for queers"! Hurlan: HOT DOG! Boss Hoss: I posit the peak of the industrial revolution was the E-Z glide strip. Hurlan: Hot dog. Boss Hoss: [chuckling] And so we dropped the atom bomb on them, and they totally forgave us! [laughs] It was hilarious! Hurlan: [chinese accent] Oh, hot dog! Boss Hoss: The E-Z glide strip does all the work for you. It's like having a slave for your face. Only this slave won't rise up and hold a razor to your throat. Hurlan: Hot dog. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Boss Hoss: Son, there are so many, many things as a father I feel I never got the chance to say to you. So the first thing I'm gonna teach you is what words are. Boss Hoss: Words are-- Well, like "Hot dog." Hurlan: Hahbuhrguh. Boss Hoss: No. Hot Dog. Hurlan: Hamburger. Boss Hoss: Hot dog. Hurlan: Hamburger. Boss Hoss: No, damn it. You got a lot to catch up on. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
The Reverend: I'll leave you two alone. [stands there in a long pause] The Reverend: [clears throat then coughs] Caveman, give me a tip. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
[talks to Cutter the Vet] Boss Hoss: You have always been more than just a henchman to me. You are more like a hench-son. And so it thrills me to announce...I DON'T HAVE A SON! YOU'RE NOT MY SON! GET OUT! – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
[talks to Hambrosia] Boss Hoss: You're so intelligent for a woman. Some say you can even read my mind. [thinking] Some accuse you of being crazy. Not me. I am too afraid to say that. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
[talks to Hurshe] Boss Hoss: I imagine I'm up in the afterlife lookin' down your dress right now. Mmm. Hurshe. I see myself in you, Hurshe, everytime I look at them nasty videos we made. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hurlan: Hot dog! – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Boss Hoss: In my salad days, I sold a spurt of my dressing to a sperm bank. You got to bust in there and burgle my spurgle back. Hurlan: No, I can't rob no bank, Daddy. Boss Hoss: Oh, you just need a shot of confidence. Go get my crack pipe out of the desk. You are about to smoke the most controlled substance on earth-- Pure, uncut blood of a black man. One hit will give you the jungle fever for stealing everything in sight. [blows the crack pipe] Boss Hoss: Don't-- Ohhh! That was 5cc of teenage Detroit street thug you just blew away in its prime! Boss Hoss: So, how you plan to reparationate me for your crimes against inhumanity? Hurlan: I'm gonna score, daddy. I'm a-jonesin' for a-fix this. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hurlan: And that's why I think we ought to get rid of the paper shredder. I tried to staple my junk back together, but-- Boss Hoss: If your junk is bunk, it's the end of Heartshe spunk. – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Hambrosia: Do you know where everyone is? Young Meemaw: Look. Right there. [Hambrosia turns around seeing the same kid she sat in] Young Meemaw: She'll tell you. [Hambrosia turns back where she sees Meemaw as an adult] – The Heart, She Holler Movie Quote	added 2 years ago

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