Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #96

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,770 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Social Worker: Hey, uh, what's with all the broken glass? Mick: It's fun to make, try it. [Mick breaks the rum glass into his head] Social Worker: You know babies crawl, right? Mick: It's like a puzzle for the kids now. You give them a tube of glue and you watch them go. [sniffs] – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Social Worker: So, you're Mr. and Mrs. -- Bert: Uh, no. We're not married. Uh, and I'm unemployed. Also I love drugs, and I make porn. You look like a reasonable man. Let's go make some porn over by the stove. Social Worker: Okay, yo...you're pushing. Bert: Alright. Pretend like you're cooking something. And, oh, what's that? You need a little spice. Where's that nutmeg? Oh, there it is. It's on the floor. Better bend over. Now I'm gonna come in with my rock hard two-inch bo-- Tammy: Honey. Bert: What? I'm directing a scene here. Tammy: [to Social Worker] I'm sorry. Can you excuse us for a moment? Bert: [to Tammy] What? You're doing great. Tammy: [pulls up a knife up against his eye] Now, you listen and you listen good. We've already done the scene by the stove. Can't you have one original thought? Bert: [struggling] Baby -- – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Mick tries to catch a rat by using cheese as bait] Mick: He's gonna get it. [as Bert loads up his gun] Tammy: BERT! Rat: [rat noises] "He's got a gun"! [teleports] Tammy: Check out all these awesome african babies. Mick: Bloody bastard on a cross. You got to be right batty to waste your quid on something like that. Tammy: Why, they must be practically giving them away. We need one. Can we get one? Please? Bert: Are you insane? It'll ruin our life. Come on. There are things I need to do. [pops off a couple rounds with his gun in the sky] Tammy: But reading this article made me lactate. Mick: Cheers to that. Baby has to line up behind me first. Mortimer: Tammy, babies are a huge responsibility. You have to take care of them. Bert: Whoa, whoa, whoa. [loads up his gun] Are you saying I'm poor? Mortimer: No, no, no, no, Bert. No. Bert: Fine. Call the african baby broker right now. Tammy: Oh, thank you, Bert! Mick: Aye, do that. She'll take one look at this dump and haul ass out of here like she's on fire. – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Injured Man cuts off his torso with his keys to get out of his crushed car] Tammy: Oh, would you look at that. Injured Man: Ah, there we go. Mortimer: God helps those who helps themselves. Tammy: Yay, Jesus! Injured Man: F* you, evangelicals. [the injured man then gets taken by a hawk] Mortimer: You have an ointant weekend, okay? – Soul Quest Overdrive** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Bert: Oh my. It...it can't be. [Bert sees an american tank with Jesus Christ] Bert: Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ: Come my son, you are needed in the front lines of God's army. Bert: I'm coming, Jesus. Jesus Christ: So, you ever been in a tank before? Bert: Brrrrrr! Jesus Christ: What did you say? Bert: Sorry, sorry, I uh, just can't seem to stop shaking. Jesus Christ: It's okay. Doctor Jesus is here. [scratches Bert] You wound up like a spring my son. [uses lotion] Let me enlight you. Bert: Oh, that's great. [gets scratched real hard] Ow. Ow! [Bert then realize he's been imagining Jesus as a tiger the whole time while inside of garbage bin] Bert: OH MY GOD! I don't understand the symbolism. Mortimer: [to Tammy] I'm not touching that thing. You open it. Tammy: Here. [puts a lock on garbage bin] Let's just let him rest. Bert: PRAISE JESUS! – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Tammy: Do it baby! Lift the car off him! [as Bert was about to lift the car off of him again] Bert: [to his breasts] God. These close are like a sweltering prisint. Get them off me! No, no I need them. No, I need more. No, I need less. No, I need exactly what I have. Tammy: Honey? [Bert sees a strange light] Bert: You guys see that, right? Tammy: What are you talking about, baby? [Bert leaves to find where the strange light is coming from] Mortimer: Oh, fudge. – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Tammy: Hey everyone, Bert's back! Mortimer: Oh, hi Bert. Injured Man: Nice cans. Bert: Wow! Talk about an awkward situation. [laughs] God said I needed to score some angle dust to lift the car. Mortimer: [pauses] So um...where is it? Where's the PCP? Bert: Oh, I smoked it. Mortimer: ... Bert: So, uh, what are you guys doing here? Injured Man: GET THIS CAR OFF YOU MOTHERF*ER! – Soul Quest Overdrive** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Mortimer: Oh, nachos! [as Mortimer step inside the van, one of the injured man's intestines flies out] Injured Man: [struggling] Get up! Get up! Get up! Mortimer: Does anyone want any nachos? Injured Man: [struggling] Are those my kidneys? [sees two buzzards fighting for the injured man's kidneys] Mortimer: Um, maybe? Injured Man: They look like mine. Mortimer: Weren't they're two of them? – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Mortimer sees an injured man that's stuck in his torso when the team's van crashed into his car on top of it] Mortimer: Jumping juicifer on a pogo stick! Tammy: That shouldn't killed him. Bert: NO. You saw me driving...you saw him jump out in the road. Tammy: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! Bert: Look, honey! See he's fine. [the injured man vomits blood] Bert: That's...normal right? Mortimer: I think he's lost a lot of blood. Sir, is this all your blood? 'Cause it's a lot of blood. Tammy: LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! Bert: No. I will lift the car off of him. [Bert tries to lift the car with all his might] Bert: I cannot lift this car off of him. I mean, look how big it is. Wait, I have an idea. [Bert leaves to find something] Mortimer: Uh, what was his idea again? Injured Man: GET THE F*ING CARJACK, YOU'RE STANDING ON IT! Mortimer: Hey guys, what if we used this carjack? Tammy: Demonjack. May the vehicle science bathe into the river. [Mortimer tries to throw the carjack into the river but failed miserably] – Soul Quest Overdrive** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Mortimer sees a man walking a dog] Mortimer: Guys, we've got a situation, 2:00. Bert: Hang on. Put in my gospel tape. Tammy: No. Mortimer: Bert. Bert: Put it in, bitch, or the thunder will roll down from the mountain and STOP AT THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD! [as Tammy puts in the gospel tape, Bert starts to murderously run over the man walking the dog as they keep going] Bert: [singing] Amen! Sing it from the -- [Mortimer and Tammy sees unfinished road right ahead] Mortimer: Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, BERT! Tammy: Bert, honey, look out! Bert: You look out, bitch! [as they fall down from the unfinished road, they crashed into someone's car] Bert: Wow. My boobs are okay. – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[the sport pieces find some interesting stuff in the old lady's purse] Bert: Let's see what we got. Mortimer: Hmm, moth balls, moth balls, moth balls, moths, and a pot some hormones. Bert: Ooh. Mortimer: Bert, slow down those will give you boobs. Bert: Well, let's roll the dice. [Bert eats one of the hormone balls] Tammy: Bert, no. Bert: Just to take the edge off, honey. – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Bert: Good morning, mam. I'm here to spread the important news. And his name is Jesus Christ. [the old lady suddenly got a heart attack and then two demons rise up from the underworld tearing the old lady apart] Mortimer: [sees the old lady's purse] Guys, I think we were meant to have this. – Soul Quest Overdrive Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as Xavier finishes the ice cream cone of Ink Blot's defeat, he then starts the get pregnant] Xavier: I feel him kicking. Nurse (as Xavier's Mom): I think it's time. I'm having our incest baby. Xavier: This is disgusting. [happily] How I'm blushing with pride. Frankie's Voice: Push, honey, push. This is some kind of monster. [as Xavier, Nurse (as Xavier's Mom), and the fake Xavier's Mom pushed one of their babies out, one of their babies formed into an Xavier symbol which transitions to the next scene where it shows a therapist showing the same symbol of Xavier's and all of the other stuff that happened was just inside of Xavier's head the whole time] Therapist: Interesting. I think you're ready to see yourself for the first time -- Not how you imagine yourself, but how you truly are. Real Xavier: Hot dong, I'm cured. Therapist (as Xavier): Cured? Who said their was anything wrong with you? – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Why do you reverse want me to keep killing these poor people? You monster! This is my best trick yet. Ink Blot: Fine, just, uh, tell me what you don't not want me to do. Xavier: I want not that you should not turn into the opposite of a nice, non-big ice cream cone -- Big one. Ink Blot: Okay, I'll do it, I mean, no way, I won't do it. [Ink Blot turns into an ice cream cone once again] Xavier: I got dibs. [9 months later] Xavier: [to the burnt beach people] Oh, did you chumps want a lick? Psyche. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: I know that inky stink thinker is out there. Spreading amok on his brutal havoc crackers. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: I'm no longer a mama's boy. She made me a mama's man. For the first in my life, I'm gonna let my fist do the talking. [imitates his talking fist] Oh, frenchie, if I wasn't a peaceful man, I'd... [as Xavier was about to punch the therapist for what he done to his mother, Ink Blot shows up and brutally stabs the therapist as medical snake logo] Xavier: NO! This is rubbing against my pole, my principle of nonviolence. Ink Blot: But you made me do it. I'm your pent-up violence unleashed. Xavier: This thing is crazy. IT'S ON A RAMPAGE. No one get near it. FEAR IT! Ink Blot: You're in denial. [to Nurse who is Xavier's Mom] Come on, hon, let's blow this nut stand. And don't follow me. Xavier: It wants me to follow it. It's using reverse psychology on me. Well, I'll reverse retaliate with the psychology of a thousand backwards minds. I'll just oedipal these out and knit-wit a braingea hot-thought balloon. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Nurse: Say, big man. I've had every other freak in here. Let me give you the coital cure. You look like you need a little... [the Nurse and Xavier got laid] Xavier: You should know you were my first, not counting rape. You were so huge. Therapist: Congratulations. Mother and Son in carnal embrace -- This will put me on the map. Xavier: But mother is -- She dieded. Therapist: I'm afraid you are mistaken. You see, Nurse Escher came here years ago as a patient, escaping the turmoil of her bestial child. After the lobotomy, I left the brain remains in the bio-waste room. Nurse: I was your patient? Therapist: My finest, because you're so huge. Look for yourself. Nurse (as Xavier's Mom): I thought that was a yogurt stain. I SLEPT WITH MY SON?! Xavier: I SEXED OFF WITH MY MOMMY?! Therapist: I'll go down in history -- First scientist to prove that [uses his tape recorder in a different voice again] Lobotomy removes oedipal taboo. Go on, react. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Xavier tries many brains to find his mother's personality] Xavier: Oh, so many. Let's try...I don't know -- This one. [uses the first brain piece] Xavier's Mom: CELLOPHONE GRAPE SHIELDS SILTS THROATS AND -- Xavier: Nope. [tries the second brain piece] Xavier's Mom: [wilhelm scream] Xavier: Nope. [tries the third brain piece] Xavier's Mom: [Italian accent] Hey, pa, I forgot how pizza works. Xavier: Dumb wop. Could have used a goombotomy. [tries the fourth brain piece] Xavier's Mom: GOOOOOAAL! Xavier: Damn it, I had money on that game. [tries the fifth brain piece] Xavier's Mom: [crows like a rooster] Xavier: Oh, chicken. Yum. [eats the fifth brain piece] [Xavier puts the sixth brain piece] Xavier's Mom: [McGultry's voice] I think my hallucination snuck into the -- Xavier: That fella's nuttier than my pants at a coffin sale. [tries the seventh brain piece] Xavier's Mom: [Xavier's voice] How'd that get in there? [Xavier sniffs the seventh brain piece] Xavier: That's better. I've got a good feeling about this one. [tries the eight brain piece] Xavier's Mom: Son, how'd you find me? Xavier: Mom, it worked! Xavier's Mom: I faked my death to get away from you. I hate you! Xavier: You can say that, mommy, but don't mean it. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Mother, I've found you. Don't you recognize me? Paramedic: Don't bother. She don't talk at all, thank god. Won't even open her mouth. Believe, I tried. [laughs] Ain't said a word since that lobotomy cut out all the thingmajigs that was tormenting her. I like her jugs -- Dibs. Xavier: I've got to get that part of her brain back in her head so she remembers me. Where do they discard the medical waste? Paramedic: Yeah, I don't got time to chitchat, okay? The boss says I got to give the coital cure to this whole wing before lunch. I'm coming, boss. I'm coming. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: She must be around here. My mom-dar is throbbing white-hot. [sees the paramedic doing something with the old lady] Unhand that nut bag. Paramedic: Hey, this is just the fringe beneflex of the job. It's no big whoop. I was just giving her the big-whoop cure, the old shock-and-awe therapy. You get it, with the an -- Xavier: This is no way to cure people. I've tried curing the dead that way, and it only leads to heartbreak. [unintelligible] Paramedic: Hey, don't worry. You know, if I knock her up I'll giver her a uterus lobotomy, the old brain bushing, you know? It's how we do around here. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Xavier goes into therapy] Therapist: Look at this ink blot, and tell me what you see. Go with it. Don't hold back. Absorb yourself into it. [Xavier imagines the Ink Blot] Xavier: Get away, you sickening inkling. Ink Blot: I don't have to be a evil demon. I am whatever you choose to see me as. Xavier: Oh, yeah? What if I want you to be my bike? [Ink blot turns into a bike] Xavier: Oh, whee! What about a pony? [Ink blot turns into a pony] Xavier: Yahoo! A bike for the pony? [Ink Blot turns into a pony riding a bike] Xavier: I want some ice cream. Hey, pony, can I borrow a couple of bucks? No? Broke-ass pony. I want you should be a pony, only this pony has a couple of spare bucks. [Ink Blot Horse gives dollar bucks to Xavier] I'll take that. Now, where's the ice cream store? Ink Blot: I can just become ice cream if you want. You needn't complicate this. Xavier: I don't need your charity. Ink Blot: Here, just take ice cream. Xavier: Wait, is this some kind of a trap? Only one yummy way to find out. [Xavier licks the ice cream of Ink Blot, which then ends Xavier's imagination where Xavier is licking the paper of an ink blot] Xavier: Yummy shrimp. BRAIN FREEZE! This notion nosh is gonna go right to my mental hips. Therapist: What else is happening there? Go deeper. [Xavier starts to imagine the same ink blot monster again] Xavier: Hey, muchacho, where did you do to my ice cream, chachi? Ink Blot: I am your ice cream. But it's really just you. Xavier: Make up your mind. First you say I'm scream, then you'm scream. What, we all'm scream? You're not the crispiest meat hat in chican, do you? Ink Blot: If you're calling me stupid, you're just calling yourself stupid. Xavier: Well, I'm rubber and you're rubber cement. Anything you say sticks and stones, dumbbones. Ink Blot: I'm just a projection of your feelings. Xavier: yeah, put it all on me. Someone's on in denial. Ink Blot: Will you please JUST SHUT UP?! [as Ink Blot shatters Xavier's imagination, it was then that the Ink Blot goes into therapy because of Xavier's delusions] Ink Blot: I don't know what is. He drives up me up the...I think I'm really losing it. Therapist: Maybe this will help. What do you see on this card? [shows a ink blot of Xavier winking] Ink Blot: [screaming in agony] – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Now to sneakishly search each nook and cranny for my mammy. YOO-HOO CRANNY! Therapist: This area's for patients only. Can I help you? Xavier: I'm here to, uh, check myself in, yeah. I suspect I'm crazy, with a capital and sideways "Z" that's also flipped upside-down, interestingly. Therapist: That would make you...crany? Xavier: Damn it, he sees right through me. He can tell I'm sane. Got to hoodink this wink into thinking I'm King Crazythink. It'll take some mental elbow grease, but no pain-ity, no insanity. Therapist: Who are you talking to? Xavier: Frittata, I'm in. He's buying it, Helen. [to Therapist] No one! Why would I be talking to someone? I'm too, too -- [making clock and animal noises, while imitating noises riding a car] Hang on. Just got to pull the choke here. There we go. Yep, convertible -- Jealous? Therapist: Fascinating. [different voice to his tape recorder] Subject to begin the evaluation process. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Nurse gives McGultry a tour inside the Luxury Mental Asylum] Nurse: Welcome. I'm not your maid, and I'm not your mom. We use only positive reinforcement here. If you don't like it, we hit you with the prod. If you refuse to eat, we insert a feeding tube. If you eat the feeding tube, we hit you with the prod. If you complain about the prod, we hit you with the prod. If you refuse to take your meds orally, you'll be fed your mouth rectally. [drinks yellow liquid inside the prod] Nurse: Here's the funhouse mirrors for the anorexic. These are the patients who think they're [bleep] They're self-blurring. The Nymph Whore, cutters, greasers, rockers, mods, dagos, wops. And this is the reverse-psychology wing. Hey, get down from there! [Nurse hit him with the prod, but the patient starts to fell upwards] McGultry: I think my hallucination SNUCK INTO THE HOSPITAL! Nurse: Harry, fire up the lobotimizer! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Paramedic: They got a boy who was raised by a cricket and cricket that was raised by a tick. They got a dental tranny -- Man with the choppers of a lady -- Call him the tooth fairy. Boy, his mouth is so soft. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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