Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #99

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,740 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Dream Reamer suddenly ruins every other teacher's lives on Facebook]

Sammy:
My ballet coach wants me to dance? [cries]

Dean:
[getting arrested] But I thought what happened in Nam stayed in Nam. F*** you, Facebook.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
Hey, you know my ex-girlfriend that took naked pictures of me? Well, it turns out she's the DAMN Dream Reamer's Facebook friend.

Steve:
So?

Frank:
So, she said that the Dream Reamer bought my dick pics! Which are totally awesome.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Baby Cakes and Professor Cakes went to the Insanity Department]

Professor Cakes:
He keep talking about some imaginary...friend from his past. I-I don't know.

Sexy Doctor:
Then we should encourage him to confront that past. You can be honest with us, Baby Cakes.

Baby Cakes:
Well, then, you smell tough. And that girl's a ghoulie. [to Dr. Falgot] And that guy I'm pretty sure is a river gremlin.

Sexy Doctor:
That's not really what I meant.

Baby Cakes:
I'm horny now! [to his Dad] You're fatter than you think, [to Sexy Doctor] and you could be sexy.

Sexy Doctor:
We need to keep him here. He's clearly insane, because I am sexy.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[as Pony starts to go crazy when Dream Reamer posted a video where Pony gets drunk after accidentally letting someone fall off a cliff]

Pony:
[talking to herself] You should have told someone.

Pony:
I know, but I was so drunk I thought Imagined it.

Pony:
Well, you didn't.

Pony:
Okay, if they suspected me, they would have come a-knockin', right?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[as Baby Cakes was about eat his pumpkin at a Pumpkin Contest, Dream Reamer screws him up]

Dream Reamer:
What up, Babe of Cakes? Want to get nuts?

Baby Cakes:
No.

Dream Reamer:
Are those your friends? They look f***ing stupid.

Baby Cakes:
UNH-UNH! THEY LOOK COOL!

[Baby Cakes tackles Dream Reamer which originally turns out to be a hallucination where Baby Cakes is hitting himself]

Baby Cakes:
F***ING REAMER! TAKE THAT! [woozy] Oh sh*t.

Officer:
Charlie 16, call the Insanity Department. The Cakes kid is going ape crap again.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[as Baby Cakes was about to finish his song in his dream, the Dream Reamer summons him]

Baby Cakes:
Dream Reamer, show yourself! Why did you summon me?

Dream Reamer:
[laughs] Hello, you dick. Long time no see. [while making weird zany poses]

Baby Cakes:
Look, I know I hurt you when I dumped you, but my Dad said I need real friends, man.

Dream Reamer:
Real friends are for clerks and idiots.

Baby Cakes:
Reamer, I want to bury hatchet.

Dream Reamer:
F*** YOU!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Baby Cakes enjoys the experience of Facebook]

Baby Cakes:
Oh, cool. It's good to see you! [chuckles] I know you. [laughs] I've got friends.

[suddenly his evil friend shows up on his account]

Baby Cakes:
The Dream Reamer, my ex-imaginary friend!

Professor Cakes:
[inside Baby Cakes' thought bubble] Find old enemies. Bury the hatchet.

Baby Cakes:
F***ing Dad.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Baby Cakes tries Facebook]

Professor Cakes:
So, friend everyone you know. Then, find old friends, even old enemies, so you can bury the hatchet.

Baby Cakes:
Hey, did you find Mom on Facebook and bury a hatchet in her?

Professor Cakes:
[laughs] Ah, you sweet boy. No. GOD, No!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Hey, Pony, hold your arm out and I'll block it.

Pony:
Uh. no. No, Baby Cakes, stop.

Baby Cakes:
What? It's the warrior's code. You got to do it if another warrior ask you to.

Pony:
Okay, Baby Cakes, I am not a warrior. Neither are you. This is the real world. Grow up.

[Baby Cakes sees Pony and his friends in goblin vision]

Baby Cakes:
[chuckles] I can slay you.

Pony:
Look, I'm sorry, but why don't you just go find some other friends and make them fake attack you?

Baby Cakes:
My only other friend is a villain.

Frank:
You should just get on Facebook.

Steve:
No, he shouldn't. Ever since I gave up Facebook, my life has been awesome.

Frank:
[chuckling] Oh, I love it. I make all my students friend me at the beginning of every semester, and then I just hide all the guys.

Sammy:
Oh, I hide everyone. Why does every human have a band?

Frank:
On Facebook, I can take long, deep looks at people [sighs] and it's okay.

Steve:
[chuckles] Facebook just dig up sh*t in your past that your past that you'd rather not chat with.

Pony:
No, no. I think it would help him branch out. What do you say?

[Baby Cakes still sees his friends in goblin vision]

Baby Cakes:
[chuckles] I can slay you.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Pony walks in miserably]

Frank:
Oh, our T.A. finally shows up, hung over and ugly.

Steve:
[chuckling] Oh, you went to that party, right?

Pony:
[scoffs] I don't want to talk about it.

Frank:
I bet she got really drunk and just ruined some boy's night.

Pony:
Look, I didn't do anything wrong if that's what you're implying.

Frank:
Whoa! I was just messing with you.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Sammy:
Why can't I represent the history department at Oktoberfest?

Frank:
Oh, I wish I could, too, but Steve is considerably cooler than us.

Sammy:
Rubbish. All he does is snip them plants into cones now.

Steve:
[chuckling] Sammy, I have had a few books published.

Baby Cakes:
And I have f***ed a few dragons.

Sammy:
I hear dragons screw really well, actually.

Baby Cakes:
Well, you heard right, lady.

Sammy:
But a dragon got nothing on some of the professional ass around here. [slaps Frank's butt]

Frank:
HEY! I said no, you pile.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[after Steve coached Frank to win the Faculty Wrestling Championship while their finally unconjoined]

Steve:
I won you back with all that, didn't I?

Jen:
Of course.

Steve:
Then we're over. I've wanted to break up with you since the moment I met you. Goodbye.

Jen:
Frank, let's go.

Frank:
[laughing] Oh, sorry. I'm done messing with Steve. I'll just see you in class, weirdo.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Well, it's "Do or Die" here at the Panda Den, where we're gonna -- [sees two conjoined big wrestler] Holy sh*t!

Coach Branson:
This what I call "Your [bleep] is old, and I can do it better"!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
Jen, tell Steve our little secret.

Jen:
[to Steve] I moved into your apartment! First thing we got to is paint...that...place.

Steve:
Oh, Jen. Okay, look, I'm just not that into you, alright?

Jen:
Steve, sometimes I get the feeling that you're just not that into me.

Frank:
Hey, Jen, maybe one of these nights, just you and I can go catch a romantic movie and throw a blanket over Mr. Moodypants here. What do you say?

Jen:
Yeah. [to Steve] Frank here knows what a woman really wants.

Steve:
Hold on. She's my girl.

[Steve and Jen kiss]

Frank:
There it is. Put that tongue in there, Steve.

Steve:
ENOUGH!

[Frank and Steve's conjoined body tears a bit of skin left after Steve pushing Jen and Frank out of the way]

Steve:
Now we got to see Falgot.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Steve and Frank does a presentation about Prince Harry while being conjoined]

Frank:
See, class, Prince Harry wanted Kate first, but William took here as an ass trophy just to mess with his young brother, Harry. [referring to Steve]

Steve:
No, that's not right. William is heir apparent, so he technically can have any girl in the kingdom. [referring to Frank]

Frank:
Hilariously, though, turns out Kate is a monogamous drug addict, and William is stuck with her. [referring to Steve]

Steve:
Get out of my face.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[since Steve accidentally told Frank that he steals Frank's date, Frank gets Steve with a payback while being conjoined]

Steve:
Jen, it's not you, it's us.

Frank:
Jen, it's obvious, Steve loves you. He may try to break up with you here, but that's just him wanting to save you from --

[Jen suddenly huffs paint]

Jen:
[stifled] Don't worry, Steve. Only two things matter to me. [exhales] Loyalty and huffing paint.

Frank:
Wow. I had no idea you were...so loyal.

Jen:
Wow, right?

Steve:
[puts Jen's bag down] Jen, not here.

Frank:
Don't listen to him. It's all an act. He's such a little protector.

Jen:
You know, Frank, I never knew you were cool. I always thought you were like... [huffs paint again] ...a perv, you know?

Frank:
[selflly awares, but not in public] Yeah, I get that sometimes.

Jen:
Yeah. I'm with you, Steve, all the way. [holds the bag] You want some?

Steve:
F*** no.

Frank:
Later, because I did a garbage bag of lacquer before we got here, so...

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
So, I had to stop using my loofah because it was chafing my gorge.

Steve:
Oh, my god. You're gross. Now wonder Jen picked me over you.

Frank:
WHAT?! She was MY student, man! I had dibs! Asshole!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[while Steve was about to sleep, Frank does some wild stuff in the bed while being conjoined]

Steve:
[groans] Can't you wait till I'm asleep to do that?

Frank:
Oh yeah, how did you know? Are we gonna start sharing feelings and thoughts?

Steve:
[sighs] Just point it off the bed.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[while Frank and Steve are still being conjoined]

Steve:
I'm never gonna get those cheerleaders now. Not like this.

Frank:
Hey, forget those kittens. This is gonna be like a-a permanent sleepover, and my place is really crappy.

Steve:
Just...shut up.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Frank and Steve get conjoined after getting slammed down from the wrestling match]

Steve:
W-W-Whoa. What is this? What f*** is this?

Frank:
Get out of my sleeping bag. [realizes] WHAT?!

Steve:
What did you do to us? FALGOT!

Baby Cakes:
Ladies and gentlemen, it's FrankenSteve!

[as the big nurse tries to grab them]

Steve:
[to Frank] Now dip. Grab a leg. All of our weight to starbboard.

[Steve and Frank manages to beat the big nurse guy while being conjoined]

Dr. Falgot:
They're alive!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Dean training for the Faculty Wrestling Championship]

Dr. Falgot:
Dean, what aren't you gonna do?

Dean:
I'm not gonna rip a leg off.

[the first wrestling match starts]

Baby Cakes:
The Dean seems focused, and he's...

[Dean breaks the opponent's leg and rips it off]

Baby Cakes:
...yes, he's disqualified.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Jen:
Go, Steve! Love ya, babe!

Pony:
Hey. Wait. Did you f*** Frank's student crush?

Steve:
Yeah. [chuckles] It's just fun to steal girls from him.

Pony:
Steve, that's a horrible thing to do! What would you do if Frank did something like that to you?

Steve:
Frank is not allowed to screw a girl that I like. He can't even screw my exes. And besides, that one is a drug addict. I'm ending it.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Frank wrestles a big guy to attract Jen]

Frank:
Hey, big'un. You know what this is? It's $1,000. It's yours if you let me beat you out there, okay?

Big Guy:
[sarcastic] Sure. Will do.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
[to the students] Okay, everybody, just go up there and watch your teacher kick some ass today, okay? Jen, you sit right here -- Front row. [happily] I don't know. Magic may happen.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

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In which movie does this quote appear: "To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human"?
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B Batman Begins
C The Green Mile
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