Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #97

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,770 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Paramedic: Yeah, of course, a furry creature back in the shimmering object. You just need some rest, okay? McGultry: [traumatized] You'll cure my brain? I never want to see those visions again. Paramedic: We'll take you to a nice place. They got a man came in believing he's a horse, and they've already worked him down to thinking he's just a goose. They got a guy who thinks he's some pepper, and they pay a fella to stand next to him and sneeze. They even got a woman who thinks she gave birth to an it -- Strange old slut. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after McGultry got fired] McGultry: How am I gonna tell my Mom I got fired? Xavier: Porpoiseoid! I didn't save the dolph-fish just to see a murderizer drag its poor arctic corpse through the streets. If you're going to slay an animal, you had better be prepared to eat the whole thing. McGultry: What are you? Xavier: I'm Dr. Doalotle. I live my life on fly-fingers principle. I wouldn't raise a finger to hurt a fly. But if you don't bone appetite, THESE fly fingers will make you go on a seafood diet. McGultry: Okay, just don't hurt me. [McGultry eats his dolphin mascot, while going to the hard stuff by killing himself in the restroom in every kind of way] McGultry: The crushing pain of life will be over soon. Xavier: I told you, if you're going to kill something, you'd better eat it. Now chow down or break my vow of nonviolence against your face. [As McGultry eats the glassed mirror, the mirror breaks into pieces leaving many different styles of Xaviers inside the broken glass] – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Xavier's flashback intensifies where Xavier was a little baby inside Xavier's Mom womb with the doctor checking the stomach] Xavier's Mom: Something feels abnormal with the baby inside me. Doctor: We can't abort it this late in the pregnancy. The most we could do is torture it a bit. Xavier's Mom: Let's try that. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Dolphin's best be the mind stand of the briny gulf, but you're not the sharpest pudding in the fanny pack. I'll miss you, too. Be free and be me by swimming back to your mommy. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[McGultry works at his first job by wearing a dolphin suit] McGultry: Thanks for giving me my first job, Mr. Eddie. I won't let you down. 15 cents off tuna-safe dolphin tacos! [McGultry then gets crushed by Xavier when he was a volleyball] Xavier: Oh, no -- The waling of a dolphin! This creature's been beachered. I've got to free this wily willy and toss him off. Don't worry, everyone. I speak dying dolphin. Uh...chong, chong, dish now wah wah dong dong? – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: "Mom" spelled backwards is "Wow". And "Wow" spelled backwards is -- Wow is me, that I can't seem to find my Mom. But you don't see me crying about it. I won't cry. It's mind over... [sobbing] Mommy! [9 months later] Xavier: I didn't just cry. Denial is not just an ocean of africanized tears. I swore I'd ramble and traverse a continent till I found my mother. But I've reached land's end. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Mother! Where is she? There's nothing here but primordial sludge and Freudian slop, Mother, MOTHER! She can't be dead! Just playing possum! That double D-nosaur! It's Mommy! [reveals the Lotion Guy's Wife has turned into a golden dinosaur] Lotion Guy's Wife: I'm not your mother. Xavier: Mother, you look so different again. Did you do something to your hair? I'd like to do something to the hair on your bazooms? MILK ME MOMMY! [Lotion Guy's Wife then push out a baby possum from one of her dinosaur breasts] Baby Possum: Mama! Lotion Guy's Wife: Son! Xavier: CRIKEY! Silly bossom possum. [bites Xavier's snake finger and returning it back to normal] I don't play dead, I play...LIFE! The Firey, fruitless search for my mommy rages on. Hot Fruit coming through! Hot Fruit! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Lotion Guy: The Ameribots of Lotion, New [coughs] New M-- [coughs] Excuse me. new Mexico, got so rich off -- Voice: DOWN UNDA! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[the people are shooting at the Arab Dinosaurs] Citizen #11: It's working! The "Arabasauruses" are turning back into oil! Citizen #12: The Arab assault is metaphorical. All: [Australian accent] Oi! Oi! Oi! We're rich! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Lotion Guy: My wife! Where is she?! Xavier: You're a reporter! Stay objective. She would've wanted to be objectified. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Xavier help the gold plated people by turning them into Arabs] Xavier: Repeat again. Meka Leka Hi Ala Shineyho Alla! All: [chanting] Meka Leka Hi Ala Shineyho Alla! Xavier: I even gold-plated the Koran. Citizen #10: Can't polish a turd. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Lotion Guy: Someone answered your ad for your Mom. I told here to meet us here. Honey? What are you doing here? Lotion Guy's Wife: I answered an ad. Years ago I had a son. I never told you. Lotion Guy: Is this your son? [points to Xavier] Lotion Guy's Wife: HIM?! NO! [vomits] Xavier: Mother, is that you? You look so different! Give me a hug. Lotion Guy's Wife: Get away from me. You make me sick! Xavier: [to Lotion Guy] That's what she said. It is my Mom. Muslim Man: Is this female ameribot giving you trouble? She's to obey your order, yes? Lotion Guy's Wife: Don't touch me! Xavier: Sir, women here have the freedom to do what they want. [sad] It totally sucks. Muslim Man: Fascinating. Where are time-honored oppressions to women? [Lotion Guy's Wife punches Muslim Man] Lotion Guy's Wife: Get off me! Muslim Man: This machine is defective. WE MUST DESTROY IT! Xavier: NOO! It's a software problem. We'll re-reprogam her. Muslim Man: I don't know. What if it is system-wide? No hate of Muslims is all we ask for. Xavier: Okay, just to be safe, I'll re-reprogram all of the ameribots to become Muslims. [meows] Muslim Man: [evil scheming] That's the kind of typical American I like. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Go on. Mingle, do whatever you want with them. Snatch their grub, punch their bellies. Everything is included for your $5,000 a day except for the prop prop playride. That's a quarter. Now, who needs change? – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Okay, look unalive, people. Here we go! Ladies and gentlemuslims, arabs of all stroke, we got a "goozum" on the loose, so keep your muzzy limbs inside the "tramboatel" at all times, less you want to lose them on a goozum". I'm your tour guide, your pure snide with white pride, here to keep you alive. Xavier: And if you look to your left, you're gonna wanna turn to your right, where you'll see a robotic depiction of a typical American town. Only difference is these ameribots are double-double programmed to not hate you, even though you're Muslims. Xavier: Coming up ahead is the pride of the city, the lotion factory, with its famed 2-million-gallon silos of anti-aging cream. Muslim Man: And all of these people here are robots? Xavier: Yep. Muslim Man: So lifelike...it even looked like that robot winked at you conspiratorially. Xavier: You can touch them all you want, here or here. Just don't play grab-ass. Psst. Show my butt what my mouth means, just to be safe. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: What's this? Seems to be some sort of words on paper. I can totally read, but, uh, I dare you to read what it says on here. Or what are you, chicken? Bawk-ga-doodle! WAU! Lotion Guy: It says the bank is going to repossess this whole town and tear it down to build condos for I assume "Latte Liberals". Xavier: Yep, that's correct. Give up your gold or give up your town. Citizen #6: I'm not getting rid of my gold! Citizen #8: Me neither. You can pry it from my gold, dead, gold. Citizen #9: What are we gonna do?! Xavier: I know some people who would buy your town and not change a thing. Citizen #10: We'll do anything to stay gilded. Xavier: Even [to viewers] pretend to be robots? Xavier's Snake Finger: DOWN UNDA! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after the Lotion Guy got done reading the article] Lotion Guy's Wife: So did any of this happen? Lotion Guy: No. I would have remembered something like that. I don't thi-- [suddenly all the people came into the door cheering that they win the lotto] Citizen #1: WE WON THE LOTTO! WE WON THE LOTTO! Citizen #2: Now we can pay tribute with the goldest statue ever! Citizen #3: yeah! Xavier: You haven't won, you are one. You have all shown nobility in your selfless surrender to the greater good. There can be no glorious collective without the individual. Therefore, each one of you is better than any other one of you or the group. Xavier: Don't let anyone put their parts over your whole and squeeze out commu-jizz-sim. You should each reward yourselves decandently for your lack of greed and selflessness. Citizen #4: Aw, come on, what are gonna do? Something stupid like cover ourselves in... [transitions to the next scene where they covers themselves in gold] Citizen #4: So, then, we covered ourselves in gold. Citizen #5: We deserve it. Citizen #6: I deserve it! Citizen #7: You don't dress for the job you want. You dress for the job you don't have anymore because you got gold-plated. Citizen #8: You're only as rich as you -- Look. Here comes the nice banker man to tell ye how rich I is. [literally get his forehead pounded by a hammer leaving a note] – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Does your paper have a missed connections section? Take this down. "You? Sandy, 5-foot blonde, pretty drunk. We made passing eye contact whilst you were giving birth to me. Me? Single, white male, thick and huge. I tore you up that night. Cocoa"? Lotion Guy: I'm sorry? Xavier: Do you want some hot coca? Good and fruity. Lotion Guy: Sure. Xavier: Well, get me some, too. Run it. Leave in the part about the cocoa. "Sex Sells". [while bending his body into a letter S shape] – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Lotion Guy: Mister, I run the lotion weekly circular. I want to follow you around and get your scoop, tell your story. Xavier: Mine is the story of a man searching far and wide, fat and thick and deep for his mother, once thought dead. Have you seen her? She's about yea tall and about ooh big, and about mmm nice. I have a sketch you could print. Lotion Guy: [writing his notes] Wow, look at him go. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: I think what he means is that we should follow the GOLDEN RULE. He's gone. Grab those lats, kid. He's back. Hey, let's give that vessel a hand! He's gone. Please, I'm a humble servant. I don't need the clap from you people. And he's back! Come on, folks. Give it up. Everybody wants applause! And he's gone forever! Xavier: But we must honor his dying request. I mean, I wasn't really playing attention. I was blue-toothing it during half his blather, but I think he yammered something about how GOLD RULES. You must honor him with a gold statue in the center of town. Black Shirt Guy #2: We don't have the resources. Xavier: Have you no respect for the dead? Why don't you just piss in the man's face like this? [pees in Abraham Lotion's body] Black Shirt Woman: Gold is just something we couldn't afford. Xavier: Well, what's that? [points to the billboard poster of Lotto] If you all chipped in you could win your own lotto. You'd earn enough to undo the indignity of the pisswich, which that man's face just woofed, woofed, down, down. Ooh, ooh, hold the mayo. Black Shirt Guy: The dead want us to win! Black Shirt Guy #3: And our schools win, too! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: He's coming. He's coming...inside me. [Abraham Lotion possessed Xavier to be raised from the dead] Xavier (possessed by Abraham Lotion): Oh, hello, people of -- What's this town called again? Lotion Guy: Lotion, New Mexico. Xavier (possessed by Abraham Lotion): People of earth, I am...what's the dead guy's name? Lotion Guy: Abraham Lotion. Xavier (possessed by Abraham Lotion): What kind of name is "Lotion"? Lotion Guy: He invented lotion and founded this sleepy town. We produce 70% of the nation's lotion, We're a simple folk, but we get free hot and cold-running lotion, so we look great. Xavier (possessed by Abraham Lotion): Whatevs. I am Abe Lotion, and I want that you taint shan't not mourn. Old Guy: This guy's babbling exactly like Mr. Lotion on his deathbed. It's him! I'd know that gibberish anywhere! Xavier (possessed by Abraham Lotion): Is there someone here wearing a black shirt? Black Shirt Guy: I am, but how could he have known that? He's dead. Old Guy #2: Do you have a message for us from the beyond? Xavier (possessed by Abraham Lotion): Course I do. What do you think, I'm back from the dead for my health? A message -- It's around here somewhere. Here it is. [reads his own message] "Keep your hands out of my pockets". – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Xavier goes to a cemetery for someone's death but in a humiliating kind of way] Xavier: People! A man is fallen! Man down! You dark, heartless rubberneckers sit back in black, asses to asses, butts in dust, doing nothing all over the face of this place. Old Speech Guy: We're in mourning! Have some respect. Xavier: You should be grieving the death of your vigilance! He's playing possum. [literally rips out the dead man's heart] I can tell. I have some bad news. He's passed on, to a better, more euphemistic place. Well, let's throw together an impromptu funeral. Old Woman: You've desecrated his memory! Xavier: You don't know what he wants, but I can speak for the dead when I say I can CHANNEL THE DEAD! I hate to brag my britches, but I'm a rather large medium when I penetrate the gray veil. Bleed me. Once I get this dead motormouth yapping through me, he won't stop chewing my lips off till I have to knock his black off and jack our mouths off. Old Speech Guy: I'd throw this freak out, but I don't want to get tooth-goo on my suit. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Xavier: Karma is a boomerang, mate, so throw another aussie cosmic scrimp on fate's barbie. – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Vacation Guy: We don't "mohair" to your kind around here, boy! Xavier: I've got to warn you. If you beat me up, one day that pain will come back to me "Sexfold". [while bending his body into Letter T shape] Vacation Guy: Not you, freak -- This here terroristic sand negroid! [punches the muslim man] Take crime! taste the hate! Xavier: They "queefer" to be called Sandfrican-Americans! Muslim Man: I am just visiting Muslim who come to America to learn of your enchanting culture. Xavier: [sniffs] Then you'll want to bathe...in our warm kindness. But any decent American is going to smack your sack off for being a dirty arab. If you want to experience the real America, you've got build an artificial world -- A robotic amusement park full of android American programmed to be good to you and let you into their humble lives. Muslim Man: This is great idea. Thousands of rich Arabs would pay big money for it if we just had high-tech-enough robots that wouldn't at the most inopportune time break down... [Muslim Man suddenly got short-circuited] Secret Scientist: Damn it, freak! You blew its circuits with your cylindrical logic. These droids can't handle baudrillardian self-awareness. Xavier: This is a simulacrock? Vacation Guy: We paid $1,000 a day to beat up mechanized arabs, but this is the worst touroristorrism hate-crime dream vacation I think we've ever had! Secret Scientist: I can't give you your money back, but what about this. [Secret Scientist takes the Arab's hat cloth robe and put it on Xavier's head making the family beating him up] – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Lotion Guy: Honey, there's an article in here. It said it was written by me. Look. Lotion Guy's Wife: What? How bizarre. What does it say? Read it. Lotion Guy: It said "Recently a strange creature was spotted rambling on the outskirts of town..." [as the lotion guy kept reading the article, it starts to become a real thing in real life in the opening of the show as it goes on] Xavier: Nothing will ever interrupt my epic search for my other, no matter how -- Oh, a possum! [the possum tries to bit Xavier] Xavier: AAH! Play dead! [snoring] I'm dead. [sees the possum leaves] I'm de-- Stupid idiot, I just outplayed you, possum! [the possum start to be dead all of a sudden] Xavier: Oh, no, it's dead! [then the possum was only playing dead just to bite Xavier] [after the possum bites Xavier's finger, his finger got healed into another snake] Xavier: [Australian accent] Oi, mate! Crikey! – Xavier: Renegade Angel Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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