Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #92

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,730 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Baby Cakes' new candy bars got failed from the Perk-A-Boo company]

Steve Smith:
So how'd your pitch go?

Baby Cakes:
Those jerks. They maced me at the front gate! Anyway, I'm still making them. This idea's f***ing gold.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
Hey, Steve, do you think that young guys want me still?

Steve:
[chuckles] No, they want you wiggling.

Pony:
So what about you? Did you get consent to f*** that student I saw you with?

Steve:
Ah, it's a slow boil.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Jetta, I need my depression potion.

Jetta:
Already on it.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Spider:
Jetta, where is the f***ing merlot?

Jetta:
Spider, you'll get your merlot when you stop asking with your asshole.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
Well, listen, I know this great place for lunch saki and it's just over -- OW! MY BACK! SH*T!

Flip Flop:
[walks by to Matt] Oh, man, told you.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve Smith:
Man, I wish I had met your Mom. She sounds so great.

Gwen:
She is awesome -- Really creative. My Dad, though -- Ugh.

Steve Smith:
Hey...he'd be proud to know that his little girl is being understood on a deep level by a man somewhere near his age.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Crystal:
Yes, I am a Spanish teacher, but I'm also helping the History Department get their sh*t together.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
Hey, I take sweeteners from restaurants, too. I do it because I'm poor, and you do it because... [sees Sammy putting sweetener onto her armpits] Oh, because you're super gross.

Sammy:
Oh, we got lots in common, I hasten to bet.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Sammy:
Just make my printer do, then you gotta reload my sleeve with tissues.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
Oh, yeah, I've done this happy hour for, like, ever with Frank and B.C. and Steve. [chuckles]

Matt Attack:
Those bald dudes? Yeah, that guy Flip Flop said you was old and stuff. Maybe were an old soul or something.

[Pony then puts her hair on Matt's hand]

Matt Attack:
Alright, you got your bristles on me, you tickling me. That's nice.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Sammy:
Hold it! I need -- [can't stop her wheelchair] Oh, lord, not another 9/11! [bumps into an desk] Oh, sh*t.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Baby Cakes makes a presentation for a new snack bars]

Baby Cakes:
"Have you ever found yourself in need of a snack between snacks? Or when you go to purchase an energy bar, every [bleep] one is the sugar flavor? BEHOLD. Meaty Saucy Energy Bary-S. I got Barb-B-Quetion, Chinese Chik-A-Chik, and Captain Ketchup.

Pony:
Those are...don't make sense.

Baby Cakes:
Exactly. You know the Perk-A-Boo! Energy bar machines on campus? Well, I'm gonna go to their offices right the f*** now. [leaves]

Steve:
Oh, man, that kid is really just gonna stab us in our beds one night. You can see that, right?

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Baby Cakes:
What's up, guys? How's all y'all's first day?

Steve Smith:
Baby Cakes, you weren't in my class. You know you're enrolled, like, for the 12th time.

Baby Cakes:
Who cares?

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank Smith:
So, the Market Revolution changed America and the world -- Your world...irrevocably. So, what did you think? I mean, that's the end. That's all I got.

Wendeloquence:
[vomits]

[the next day]

Frank Smith:
Dudes, so far, my kids are loving me. I'm killing them...oh, so softly.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve Smith:
And that's why I kayak. I mean, it's not for everyone, but, I mean, what is, really?

Pemsy:
I -- This is supposed to be a course on Nafta, so I don't see why we're drinking.

Steve Smith:
Let me ask -- What do they call things like you back home?

Pemsy:
Pemsy.

Steve Smith:
Okay, I get it now. You've got that name, you got that face, so you got to play it serious and get good grades. But, Pemsy, baby, it's not worth it if everyone thinks you suck, and they clearly do, so chew on that.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Matt Attack sees Sammy for the first time]

Matt Attack:
That little lady look like a california raisin. She's ancient.

Flip Flop:
Oh, this comin' from the guy who got that old senior's number today.

Matt Attack:
Wait, Pony's old? [checks his phone]

Sammy:
Boys, close your cunnilinguses.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
Get your asses in here. It's time to LEARN!

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Gwen:
I got Steve Smith for my history class.

Kim:
Ah, he's a great teacher and hot, too like a dad, but with, like, a dash of uncle in the mix.

Wendeloquence:
Well, I got his brother Frank. Is he any good?

Kim:
No, Frank's a terrible teacher. No dad, pure uncle.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Flip Flop:
Yo, I heard The Dean's a big old murderer.

Random UCI Student:
I heard the teachers are criminals.

Flip Flop:
I heard God is, like, really mad at this place.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pemsy:
I mean, sure, it's the worst college in America, but, uh, I got a full scholarship, so...

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
SUMMER IS DEAD!

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Mortimer:
Stop. Stop cooking. I figured it all out. The It-Alien inhabited your bodies to cook its grandmother's old recipe for human disaster.

Bert:
What?

Mortimer:
[scoffs] Don't you see? The RV is a breeding ground for the master race of Noodlezoids.

Tammy:
Ugh.

Bert:
Oh, come on.

Mick:
Noodlezoid my ass.

Tammy:
If you want attention, just say so. Just say, "Hey, I need a hug", okay?

– Soul Quest Overdrive  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Bert, Tammy, Mortimer, and Mick start to grow beards after the spaghetti assimilation]

Tammy:
My insides feel like they've been cored out by Satan.

Mick:
See, me, I feel like I feel every morning, hungover as sh*t ready for a fight, and gagging for a pint.

Tammy:
How come we all have beards?

Mick:
Look at that. I can make a wee braid.

Tammy:
And why is it so luscious?

– Soul Quest Overdrive  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Mick:
[hypnotized] The Beacon.

Tammy:
[hypnotized] Let the gastranomicon begin.

– Soul Quest Overdrive  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

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