Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #101

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,741 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Dean: You know, as Dean of the school, I got to admit -- F's for Christmas is f*ing hilarious! – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Golden Bowl: F's for Christmas. Today at U.C.I, every student earned an irrevocable "F" on their standardized finals. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Professor Cakes: [to his wife] Go. Start fresh in some woods...or a garbage dump. You deserve it. Goodbye, secret family. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: We have this year's prom king and queen -- Cakes and the sick-ass Haystack! [Professor Cakes and Haystack smother each other] Dr. Falgot: That is beautiful and nasty as hell. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: What the f*** is this sht Cakes? Professor Cakes:* They're just protecting this old place. This is their habitat. You see, back when I was working on the anti-hippie experiment, I fell in love with Haystack here. Her devolved mind was so pure, it was so primal. I saved her from the fire. Over the years, I kept up our affair, bringing food, water, drugs, glow sticks. Professor Cakes: The truth is, all these hippies are my progeny. They're my...o-other children. Baby Cakes: Wait. What? So Mattie is... Professor Cakes: Your sister, son. Baby Cakes: Aw, man. Professor Cakes: That's why I didn't want you together. Believe me, I understand the inertia of star-crossed love. But f*ing your sister's just gross. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Baby Cakes gets tackled by a bunch of vicious hippies] Baby Cakes: Father, why hath thou forsaken me? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony sees Steve is dead in one of the bathroom stalls but he isn't] Pony: [cries] No! Buddy, I know you think that I'm pretty or average. Just be alive so we can make up. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as Baby Cakes and Mattie were about to kiss] Dr. Falgot: Alright, that's enough of that. Big-ass problem. We got devolved hippies biting off peoples' private parts! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony does a flip to date with Dr. Falgot] Pony: See? I'm a real physical girl. What do you say? Dr. Falgot: That won't be happening. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Baby Cakes and Professor Cakes gets into a little argument with Baby Cakes' date with a vicious hippie] Professor Cakes: [to Mattie] You stay! Baby Cakes, let's go. Baby Cakes: But it's prom! We might bump-bump. Professor Cakes: Do not bump-bump her! Baby Cakes: But I really think I got a shot with this girl, Dad. Professor Cakes: You can't! You're just too different. It's over, okay? Baby Cakes: Come on, man. Professor Cakes: OKAY? Baby Cakes: F*ing Dad. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Pony: [to the Prom Man] [drunk] Man, I could listen to you talk about your economics researches, like, all damn day. It's a really sex field. [laughs] Steve: Here you go, Pony. This ought to plug it up. [Steve gives Pony a swirled towel] Steve: [to the Prom Man] Time of the month, you know. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Frank: Donna! You made it! [talking to himself] Okay, everything seems safe and non-violent here. Hey! Donna: What happened to your back? [points to Frank's ripped up shirt in the back from getting attacked by one of the vicious hippies] Frank: What? This? This is just the way all the dudes dressing in Malone now. [chuckles nervously] It's super-guapo. Would you like a drink? Donna: You know I'm only doing this because you threatened to flunk my cousin. Let's get it over with. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Steve: [to Prom Woman] All's I'm saying, I've seen your date in the gym showers, and it is like, 80%, 90% hair, so -- Pony: [to the Bartender] Can I get some ice? Oh, hey. What's up, Steve? Just getting some ice for those sores that you left on my anus. Thanks for that. Prom Woman: Ugh! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Sammy: I'm gonna get that Ferrari with my hot little hooker boy here, Chazzi. Frank: Sammy, would you just shut f* up about your car?! – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Steve: Ugh! I can't believe I don't have a date. I got to steal someone's wife or show my penis. Pony: [drunk] You couldn't steal anyone's wife. Steve: Look... Pony: [drunk] Now, I? I could take any of these mofos from any bitch in here! Steve: Well, then the first person who has a stolen date tonight gets -- Pony: Respect. Real-deal respect. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: Drunkenness. A four? Come on, you squares. Pheromone output. [sniffs Cravid's armpits] Nine! Lastly, watch-ability. Do a pose. [Crystal gets behind from Cravid doing a humping pose] Dean: GROSS! NEXT! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Frank: [to Steve and Pony] Hey, wouldn't it be funny if you just went together. Pony: Pssh! Steve: What? Pony: I mean, come on. You're just...you're not -- Steve: Not what? Not your usual little nerd boyfriend who's so hard up he makes you feel pretty? Pony: [chuckles] You are such a mean old asshole. Steve: Pony, you misunderstood me. Pony: No. We're doing this, you bald, sad loser. What? That doesn't make you feel pretty? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Baby Cakes sees a beautiful hippie who has the same connection to her] Baby Cakes: Hey, I'm gonna call you Mattie, 'cause your hair's all matted up, like a cat's dook, alright? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Pony: How did Frank get the hottest professor on campus as a prom date? Frank: Hey, Donna is way more than just a very pretty face, okay? Steve: You just wore her down is all. Frank: [laughing] Oh. Listen to Steve and Pony lash out like ugly kids, just because they're the only ones without prom dates. Steve: Whatever. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Baby Cakes and Sammy sees the progress of the Faculty Prom] Baby Cakes: Dad told me never to come here. Sammy: Nonsense. I want that Ferrari. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Golden Bowl: Good morning China, Illinois. 20 years ago, the historic schoolhouse was used in an anti-hippie science experiment, led by Professor Leonard Cakes to reverse the devolution that occurs in hippies. If left alone, a hippie will revert to chimpanzee behaviors. The project ended with disaster and Cakes' has promised that his hippies have safely burned away. Golden Bowl: Hmm. Did not know chimps did that. Wow. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Golden Bowl: Dean, tell us your -- Dean: [interrupt] Well, asshole, I've been secretly renovating the old schoolhouse. That's where we'll hold this year's faculty only prom! And whomever I judge to be prom king and queen gets a Ferrari! So, professors, pick a hot date! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Steve: Thanks for sacrificing your job to save me. Pony: F* you! I didn't save you. The school was a zoo. I just tried to get it back to normal so I could save my job and my house. Steve: Either way [chuckles] I owe you big, girl. Baby Cakes: Hey, everyone, am I still a moose? – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: Steve, I'm revoking your tenure. Steve: Yes! Getting everything you want makes you go crazy. Dean: Pony, your tenure's gone, too. Pony: Wait. What? Dean: My wife was eaten by a squid, so I don't need to hide my granny love. Frank: Granny love? Hey, I've got to take you to Turkey Gobbler's. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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