Wikidude's Quotes Page #102

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Mohammed Al Jaffar:
I am sorry for how I behaved, but everything is different now that my father has died of colon cancer, praise be to Allah. Plus, our family's got a new imam who's just a lot more chill. I mean, I could engage in homosexual acts with the entire writing staff of Charlie Hebdo, and nobody would say boo.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Catherine:
We should get going. We're actually doing a "Herstorical" tour of great female Southern writers.

Marjorie:
And where they killed themselves.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Gary:
I promise this party is gonna be so elegant.

Imogene:
Very New South.

Gary:
Yes.

Selina:
What does that mean? No butt-fucking Ned Beatty until the after party?

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Selina:
Jesus Christ, underaged Muslim brides are less traumatized at their unveiling.

Gary:
And even they don't have to drink Coke Zero.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Selina:
I have got a White House book that is hotter than "Nancy Reagan's Guide to Cock-Sucking."

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Jonah:
Hey, did you get invited to the Meyer unveiling?

Furlong:
Everyone was, unless you're a mole person who was cast out of his underground society for keistering sewer rats.

Jonah:
Well, I wasn't invited.

Furlong:
I know.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Mike:
I had an aunt who transitioned twice. She was trapped inside of a man, and then that man was trapped inside of another woman.

Richard:
Oh, like a turducken.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Amy:
Ma'am, the president of Egypt is expecting your call at 3 pm.

Selina:
Okay, send his mistress a gift. Maybe something from Niemann's. Oh, no, wait - any department store that wasn't started by Jews.

Amy:
I will have to start one myself.

Selina:
Now I'm gonna need a report on mineral rights in Sudan.

Amy:
Okay.

Selina:
And I have to find out, what's Qatari for "Morning after pill"?

Gary:
Oh, my God...

Selina:
It's probably "a stoning", which would also do the trick.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Selina:
[to Mike regarding his sunscreen] You look like the world's least fucked geisha.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Gary:
Oh my, look at those curtains! Where can I get those?

Nyaring Ayun:
I made them from my husband's death shroud.

Selina:
Oh... what a touching tribute, Nyaring.

Nyaring Ayun:
No, it was a purposeful desecration of a man who beat and raped me.

Selina:
Well, they go with everything.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Rollo:
I wanted to step out of your shadow... but when I stepped out of the doors, there was no sunlight.

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Ragnar:
We should not wash our dirty clothes in front of others.

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Rollo:
It would have been better for me, for you, for everyone if I had been executed.

Siggy:
So you take not account of the gods? What is it that the gods have offered you?

Rollo:
A lifetime of humiliation!

Siggy:
No that is not it. The goes have offered you a chance to be reborn, to be redeemed, to gain Valhalla. That is what they have offered you.

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Siggy:
It is always a strength to know the weaknesses of your friends. Is it not?

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Jarl Borg:
So, when do we set sail?

Ragnar:
Forgive me, Jarl Borg. But we have decided not to seek your help.

Jarl Borg:
I thought we had an agreement.

Ragnar:
It is not my desire to break that agreement. Believe me I wish it to remain intact. But on this occasion...

Jarl Borg:
On this occasion?

Ragnar:
On this occasion, the silver thread is slit, the golden cup breaks, and the pail is smashed at the spring.

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

King Horik:
Whether you live or die today is already in the hands of the gods. They already know if we sup with them tonight, so fear not. Fight well, and if you fall, surely Odin will take you to Valhalla!

All:
ODIN!

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Ragnar:
[On his son's eye defect] It is not a curse. It is blessing.

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Bjorn:
Who can guess the ways and the plans of the gods?

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

The Seer:
The eagle is your destiny, Jarl Borg.

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

King Ecbert:
Tell me honestly: What do you think of these works?

Athelstan:
I find them indescribably beautiful.

King Ecbert:
But they are clearly pagan! [laughs] You are only a monk, Athelstan, and yet, somehow, I begin to trust you. I feel you... You are a kindred spirit. Who? Who painted these images? What race of man was ever so glorious that they filled our world with such, as you say, indescribable beauty?

Athelstan:
I have been told, sire, that you served at the court of the emperor Charlemagne, which I have also visited. I cannot imagine, therefore, that you do not know what I know. That these images were painted by the Romans. They conquered these lands a long time ago. They conquered the whole world. But they were pagans. They worshiped false gods.

King Ecbert:
Never speak of our conversation to any other man here. Nobody else would understand it; they would fear it! They accept an interpretation that a race of giants once lived here... [chuckles] And that we have nothing to do with them.

[both chuckle]

King Ecbert:
The fact is, Athelstan, we have lost more knowledge than we ever had! These Romans knew things that we will never know. Their pagan gods allowed them to rule the world. And what is the lesson that we can learn from that?

Vikings, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Sven:
[sings] If Olaf finds ooouuuttt, you'll be in biiiig troooouuuuubllllle!

Otar:
Uh, you can just talk.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Sven:
[sings] You guys go ahead. We'll catch uuuuuuuuup!

Otar:
Uh, Sven? You don't have to sing.

Sven:
[sings] But it's a muuuuuusicaaaaaaal!

Otar:
Yeah, I know, but you don't have to sing every line in a musical. Talking's okay too.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Percy Pea:
You guess where my ships are.

Omelet (Jimmy Gourd):
2B?

Percy Pea:
Not 2B.

Omelet:
Drat. Uh your turn.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Omelet:
To eat or not to eat, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to share my eggs cooked light and fluffy, or to scarf down the whole thing myself. To share, or not to share.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

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