Wikidude's Quotes Page #299

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Janet Ryland:
Can we get a couple of lights for the vice president?

Glen:
Yeah, let me just pull that out of my ass.

Janet Ryland:
It's DC. You can find someone willing to open their ass on a Sunday.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
So you did get my final e-mail on topics?

Janet Ryland:
No, but my spam filter did.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Go fuck yourself, Jonah.

Jonah:
But ma'am, I'm G8 advanced team!

Selina:
Go, period. Fuck, period. Yourself, exclamation point!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
Madam Vice President, greatest respect, but it has been the job of the VP over the ages to take it in the ass to save the president.

Selina:
Yeah, let me tell you something. This ass is closed for business. This ass is in clench-down. I don't want to be a decoy. Let the president take it in the ass. He might like it.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[Watching Danny Chung on TV] See, this is the problem with high-definition. You don't want to see a dick in hi-def.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Rahim:
I got you a glass of champagne.

Selina:
Thank you, Rahim. You drink alcohol?

Rahim:
Yes, ma'am.

Selina:
Oh, you Iranians are full of surprises.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Gary, deflower the room.

Dan:
[to Gary] There's a sentence I bet you thought you'd never hear.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kent:
We're all on the same team here.

Furlong:
Right, team Fuck Up. Yeah, I've got my membership card here, somewhere, I can't find it.

Kent:
You need to look at the bigger picture!

Doyle:
Oh, I've seen the bigger picture! It show's POTUS lying to the American people! I'm telling you, this is not just a crisis, this is at least ten years of Oliver Stone movies!

Furlong:
Yeah, and not the good ones. Not Platoon.

Doyle:
I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you, Kent?! Seriously, when you pull the pin out, you're supposed to throw the grenade away. You don't stick it up your own fricking ass!

Ben:
That I'd like to see.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Jonah] Get off the plane.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Gary:
Hey, ma'am? How would you like, like, a nice little almond croissant?

Selina:
Oh yeah, I would love that.

Gary:
Okay, okay! [heads for the door]

Selina:
Can you make it a big one? You know, so you can stuff me inside of it and smuggle me outta here?

Gary:
Of course I can!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Cliff, the substitute Sue] Move everything off of the 6th for me, you can clear that. [walks into her office]

Cliff:
Yes, ma'am. The only thing I need to move is the Senator Swearing-in Ceremony, so we're good.

Selina:
[slowly walks back out of her office] ...What?

Cliff:
The, uh, Senator Swearing-in Ceremony?

Selina:
You said that everything was moveable, and that's not moveable. That's immoveable.

Cliff:
Surely nothing is immoveable.

Selina:
[turns to Amy] Amy, this is like explaining gravity to a chicken!

Amy:
The Senator Swearing-in Ceremony is set in stone. She's the President of the Senate. She swears in all newly elected senators.

Selina:
Right? You get that? You understand it? Do you need to Google it??

Cliff:
[grinning nervously] No, no, ma'am, I understand.

Selina:
I don't think you do understand, because you are grinning. Why are you grinning?

Cliff:
I'm not grinning.

Selina:
You are grinning! You have made a fuck-up the size of France, and you are fucking grinning about it!

Cliff:
I'm trying not to, I'm not sure why my face is doing this.

Selina:
Goddammit!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
[to Selina] Remind me, you said what? Your response needs to be what?

Selina:
"Robust."

Ben:
"Robust." [to SecDef Maddox] And you said?

SecDef Maddox:
"Aggressive."

Ben:
You see the problem?

Selina:
No, I don't.

Ben:
They're different words! Yeah, and saying different words means what? It means, we're not on the same...

Selina:
...diet?

Ben:
Page!

Selina:
Oh! I thought you were gonna say "diet," Ben! I don't like your tone.

SecDef Maddox:
And I don't have to answer to you, Ben. Or to Lara Croft here for that matter.

Ben:
Yeah, perhaps not. But we all work for the President.

Selina:
Oh, where is the Great and Powerful Oz, by the way??

Ben:
Listen, we all know the White House would work so much better if there wasn't a President but there is. So, we work around that. And we do that by sticking to the same fucking words.

SecDef Maddox:
And it's your job to coordinate that, maestro!

Ben:
That's right. So from now on the words are "calculated response."

Selina:
"Calculated?" That sounds so...

SecDef Maddox:
...calculated?

Selina:
Pussy-ass! That's what I was gonna say.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jonah:
POTUS wants me to monitor "U.S.Hey!" as kinda my pet project!

Selina:
Oh, for fuck's sakes...

Mike:
This must the first pet project of yours that didn't involve resorting to choloroform.

Jonah:
Yeah, well, it's early days, Mike.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Jonah] You know what, why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fuckin' point, Jonah?

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
[briefing Selina] Some U.S. backpackers tried to smoke a doobie with the wrong dudes and they have been kidnapped in Uzbekistan. Uzebekistan is between Turkmenistan and I-could-give-a-fuck-istan. There's a map on page 376.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Statistician 1] You take your eyebrows, and you get out!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Furlong:
Screw you and the face you rode in on, Dan.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Milner:
Are you asking me, "Am I a killer", Michael? Yes, I am. I didn't want to be. It's just the way it turned out. Like Churchill or Lincoln.

Michael:
Or Hitler.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
Oh, and don't start calling them "The Three," okay? It's not Lord of the Fucking Rings and you're not a hobbit or a fucking space goblin, right?

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
You get out that way and you avoid all the security. I'll be waiting and if no one kills us, then I think we should be fine.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
If he moves, shoot him.

Arby:
We're family. There's no need for that.

Jessica:
Aim for his chest.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
Look, find out where they have them. Take a mobile, the GPS.

Michael:
They search me. They fucking search me. How do I get a phone in there?

Jessica:
Shove it up your arse. No, I'm serious. You have to shove it up your arse. It's the only way. Don't use a big one.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Marius:
What's going on?

Grant:
Becky found a way to speak to Anton. Through twatface.

Marius:
Is twatface me?

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Marius:
You racist bastard. You think all Romis from Romania. Is not. Romi many places. Bulgaria, Poland, Spain. Romani different language, like... Welsh to English. You speaking fucking Welsh?

Becky:
Yeah, I do, actually.

Marius:
Doesn't matter.

Becky:
But...

Marius:
You still racist.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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