Wikidude's Quotes Page #339

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Gary:
Hey, ma'am? How would you like, like, a nice little almond croissant?

Selina:
Oh yeah, I would love that.

Gary:
Okay, okay! [heads for the door]

Selina:
Can you make it a big one? You know, so you can stuff me inside of it and smuggle me outta here?

Gary:
Of course I can!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Cliff, the substitute Sue] Move everything off of the 6th for me, you can clear that. [walks into her office]

Cliff:
Yes, ma'am. The only thing I need to move is the Senator Swearing-in Ceremony, so we're good.

Selina:
[slowly walks back out of her office] ...What?

Cliff:
The, uh, Senator Swearing-in Ceremony?

Selina:
You said that everything was moveable, and that's not moveable. That's immoveable.

Cliff:
Surely nothing is immoveable.

Selina:
[turns to Amy] Amy, this is like explaining gravity to a chicken!

Amy:
The Senator Swearing-in Ceremony is set in stone. She's the President of the Senate. She swears in all newly elected senators.

Selina:
Right? You get that? You understand it? Do you need to Google it??

Cliff:
[grinning nervously] No, no, ma'am, I understand.

Selina:
I don't think you do understand, because you are grinning. Why are you grinning?

Cliff:
I'm not grinning.

Selina:
You are grinning! You have made a fuck-up the size of France, and you are fucking grinning about it!

Cliff:
I'm trying not to, I'm not sure why my face is doing this.

Selina:
Goddammit!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
[to Selina] Remind me, you said what? Your response needs to be what?

Selina:
"Robust."

Ben:
"Robust." [to SecDef Maddox] And you said?

SecDef Maddox:
"Aggressive."

Ben:
You see the problem?

Selina:
No, I don't.

Ben:
They're different words! Yeah, and saying different words means what? It means, we're not on the same...

Selina:
...diet?

Ben:
Page!

Selina:
Oh! I thought you were gonna say "diet," Ben! I don't like your tone.

SecDef Maddox:
And I don't have to answer to you, Ben. Or to Lara Croft here for that matter.

Ben:
Yeah, perhaps not. But we all work for the President.

Selina:
Oh, where is the Great and Powerful Oz, by the way??

Ben:
Listen, we all know the White House would work so much better if there wasn't a President but there is. So, we work around that. And we do that by sticking to the same fucking words.

SecDef Maddox:
And it's your job to coordinate that, maestro!

Ben:
That's right. So from now on the words are "calculated response."

Selina:
"Calculated?" That sounds so...

SecDef Maddox:
...calculated?

Selina:
Pussy-ass! That's what I was gonna say.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jonah:
POTUS wants me to monitor "U.S.Hey!" as kinda my pet project!

Selina:
Oh, for fuck's sakes...

Mike:
This must the first pet project of yours that didn't involve resorting to choloroform.

Jonah:
Yeah, well, it's early days, Mike.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Jonah] You know what, why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fuckin' point, Jonah?

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
[briefing Selina] Some U.S. backpackers tried to smoke a doobie with the wrong dudes and they have been kidnapped in Uzbekistan. Uzebekistan is between Turkmenistan and I-could-give-a-fuck-istan. There's a map on page 376.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Statistician 1] You take your eyebrows, and you get out!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Furlong:
Screw you and the face you rode in on, Dan.

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
You know what's gonna happen to me tomorrow?

Selina:
No.

Ben:
Yeah. My good friend POTUS? My Gamma Chi brother? He's gonna summon me to his office, he's gonna show me a sword, and he's gonna tell me to take the sword and slide it down my throat until it comes out my ass!

Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Larry:
You know those dreams where your football coach is, like, screaming at you, you look down, you're dressed like Shirley Temple and all your teeth fall out? That's like a Disney version of the Congressional Committee!

Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Mike] Did you find out who the President's playing golf with? [off of Mike's expression] Golf! You know, men walking around with sticks, talking about their careers.

Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
You know, I saw a guitar in there. You play the guitar, right?

Dan:
Not in this situation!

Amy:
Yes! Yes!

Dan:
No, my guitar is for seduction, not crowd control. Granted, on a good night that's one and the same, but still.

Amy:
No, we're finding the guitar. That's what we're doing.

Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Dan? Did your boyfriend know anything about this?

Dan:
I was trying to use Jonah for intelligence!

Selina:
That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo!

Dan:
I thought—

Selina:
No, no! Let me be more clear: it doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking MESS! Get out of my office.

Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
Hi, Sidney. How are you?

Sidney Purcell:
Oh, you know, full of free shrimp.

Amy:
Hey, here's the thing: Clean Jobs...

Sidney Purcell:
Clean Jobs, yeah. What's going on there? You guys got a name yet? You too afraid of wrecking the Earth's resources to print up a press release?

Amy:
I was actually gonna run a name by you...

Sidney Purcell:
Don't say Chuck Furnham. [sees Amy's expression] Do not say Chuck Furnham! If you say Chuck Furnham, I will go into anaphylactic fucking shock.

Amy:
I'm saying Chuck Furnham—

Sidney Purcell:
FUCKING HELL!! Are you kidding me? Chuck Furnham, that's fucking official?!

Amy:
Chuck is oil.

Sidney Purcell:
No. No, no. Hey, I'm sorry, no. He's not oil. He's a fucking fossil but he's not oil. We need somebody who is plugged in. The only thing Chuck is plugged into is his fucking piss-bag.

Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
Are you scared, Becky?

Becky:
Yeah. Sort of terrified. But I know it's what I want.

Jessica:
And you think this is right? For him, I mean? Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone you love who's dying? It's not something that leaves you.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Michael:
Wilson, trust me, listen. Don't--don't do this. Please. This is not you.

Wilson:
No. I don't think I am me. Not any more.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
He's going to release the virus now.

Leah:
It would appear so, dear.

Jessica:
Call me "dear" again and I'll cut your face off.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Wilson:
How could you do that? How could you shoot at people you love?

Anton:
World's full of love. Billions of people loving billions of others. All that love will turn to dust when our resources die. I've seen what people are capable of when they feel they're losing everything. Look around.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
Oh, and don't start calling them "The Three," okay? It's not Lord of the Fucking Rings and you're not a hobbit or a fucking space goblin, right?

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
You get out that way and you avoid all the security. I'll be waiting and if no one kills us, then I think we should be fine.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
If he moves, shoot him.

Arby:
We're family. There's no need for that.

Jessica:
Aim for his chest.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
Look, find out where they have them. Take a mobile, the GPS.

Michael:
They search me. They fucking search me. How do I get a phone in there?

Jessica:
Shove it up your arse. No, I'm serious. You have to shove it up your arse. It's the only way. Don't use a big one.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Arby:
[recurring line] Where is Jessica Hyde?

Utopia, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Benten:
Hey Ran. It's a call from your '"treacherous snake".

Urusei Yatsura  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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