Wikidude's Quotes Page #346

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Trinity: I shot my Daddy in the bum and Mummy's gonna get mad at me. [Trinity takes a bite of a weed brownie] Trinity: These taste funny! [Trinity throws the weed brownie into the yard] – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Julian is driving Ricky and the dog after Ricky got shot and the dog ate weed brownies] Ricky: It's not my fault. You're the one that left the dog with me. I didn't wanna look after him anyway. Julian: Ricky, Ricky, I was gone for forty-five minutes. Ricky: Look, I'm bleeding to death here. Just get me to a doctor and shut up! Julian: Oh, take you to the doctor. What's gonna happen? The police will get involved Ricky. Think! Ricky: I don't give a. I'M BLEEDIN' TO DEATH HERE! YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT! LOOK AT MY ASS! Julian: I don't care about your ass, Ricky! I gotta call Levi. Ricky: LEVI?! FUCK LEVI! I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION! Julian: Listen Ricky. If that dog dies I swear to God I'll let you bleed to death. All right?! Ricky: I don't give a fuck about the dog! All right? Julian: SHUT UP! Ricky: WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT?! ME OR THE DOG?! Julian: SHUT UP! Ricky: WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT?! Julian: SHUT UP! [Julian dials Levi's number on the cordless phone] Ricky: Fuckin' bleedin' to death here! Julian: Come on, Levi. [Levi answers] Julian: Levi, thank God. I got a situation on my hands here. Ricky: You fuckin' asshole. What the fuck were you doing eating my brownies? Julian: Ricky has a bullet in his ass and he fed the dog a bunch of weed brownies. Ricky: I DIDN'T FEED THE DOG BROWNIES!!! Julian: YOU FED THE DOG!! Ricky: HE ATE THEM!! Julian: SHUT UP! I'M ON THE PHONE, RICKY!! Ricky: I NEED FUCKIN'!! Julian: SHUT UP!! Ricky: THIS IS FUCKED UP! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Ricky and Julian are trying to break into a barn to steal a riding lawn mower} Julian: Here you go, break in. [Hands Ricky a crowbar] Ricky: Why do I have to break in? Julian: Because this is all your fault and I'm in charge! Hurry up! Ricky: It's your fault. You gave me the dog, you idiot. Julian: Hurry up! [Ricky takes the crowbar and pries the door open, an alarm sounds] Ricky: Jesus Christ! [Ricky draws a pistol and shoots into the barn, silencing the alarm] Ricky: Who the fuck puts an alarm system in a barn? Fuckin' idiots! [Ricky and Julian are struggling to push the lawn mower out of the barn, Ricky falls down and an inflatable raft falls down on top of him. He gets up and angrily slams the raft back up against the wall while the sound man leans over the lawn mower, attempting to catch it all] [Ricky grabs the boom mic] Ricky: Hey retard! Can you hear me? I need a hand in here! Come fuckin' help us! [The sound man puts the lawn mower into neutral, allowing them to push it easily] Ricky: Oh, it's in neutral now. Well sorry I'm not so smart. I didn't know that. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Farmer comes out with a shotgun] Ricky: Let's go. Whoa, whoa, whoa. who the fuck is that guy? What do you want?! Julian: Relax, Ricky. Ricky What do you want?! Farmer: WHAT'S GOING ON?! Ricky: Nothing. [Farmer shoots at them] Sound Guy: FUCK! AH FUCK! Donny: WHAT IN THE FUCK?! Julian: Get in the truck! Sound Guy: I'M FUCKING SHOT! Ahh, fuck! [Julian drags Sound Guy in the truck] Julian: RICKY, GET IN THE TRUCK! Sound Guy: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK! Julian: GET IN THE TRUCK! Sound Guy: FUCK! Cover me, man! I'm fucking shot again here! [Julian fires off shots] Sound Guy: I'M FUCKING SHOT!!! Julian: HOLD YOUR FIRE!! SOMEBODY'S HURT HERE!!!!! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Ricky and Julian are driving home, only to be met at the entrance to Sunnyvale by Lahey and Randy. Randy is shining a bright light right at them] Ricky: Oh, for fucks sakes. [Sighs] Fucking kidding me! Jim: [Peering into Julian’s truck] And how’s our little gunshot victim tonight? Ricky What’s this shit? Jim: It is my duty to inform you… [Two kids carrying glass bottles approach the front gate on bikes and skateboards; Randy quickly notices] Randy: Bottle kids! [Julian, Ricky, Randy, and Lahey take cover] Jim: Jesus! [The kids throw their bottles at Julian’s windshield, shattering upon impact] Jim: Christ! [The kids make their getaway] Randy: Get back here, you little buggers! Ricky: Go deal with that, Lahey, instead of worrying about us! Jim: Just relax, Ricky. We’re taking care of it. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: Knock knock boys? Trevor: Who's there? [Ricky gives them two middle fingers directly in their faces] – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Randy: You can't be sittin' in the middle of the road drinkin'. It's against the law. Julian: Guys, guys! Break it up! (runs into the middle of Ricky, Lahey and Randy arguing) Ricky: You give me that beer back! Julian: Ricky, shut up! Jim: This is drunk and disorderly! Ricky: You owe me a twelve-pack of beer, asshole! Julian: Ricky! Would you guys stop it!? Lahey, Lahey- Ricky get over- Jim: I do not believe how stupid these guys are. Like father, like stupid son. Julian: Lahey- [Ricky bumps into a beer box] Jim: What? Julian: Lahey, get him off the street. Jim: We've been trying to get him off the damn street. Julian: Well, get him out of here. (pushes Randy away) Go mow some lawns or something, you greasy bastard. Ricky: Hey Lahey, you want a smoke? (holds the cigarette to his waist) 'Cause I got one right fuckin' here for you, buddy-boy. Julian: Ricky- (drags him away) Jim: You got one joke in your resitory, do you, Rick? Ricky: (points to Jim) You owe a beer (points to Randy) and you owe me a beer, you assholes! Jim: Come on, Randy. Ricky: Don't you have some offs to fuck there, boys? Randy: What? Ricky: Fuck off! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: The thing is when you're shopping for a ring you gotta take your time because you know it's my wife we're talking about. She's not gonna be wearing one of those Cubic Zarcarbian things-- she's gotta have a nice ring.(While rummaging through stolen loot during a break-and-enter eating a cheese sandwich) – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: You know Jim or Jim knows you? Cop: Jim.. Jim, my dad Jim? Ricky: Jim's your dad? Oh yeah...he mentioned he had a son on the force. Cop: Yeah? Ricky: Yeah, him and my dad go way back! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Cory: Everybody down! Trevor: This is a robbery! Julian: Everyone keep calm! We don't want your money and we don't want to hurt anybody! We just want some food! Stop fuckin' around! Get in position! [Trevor pumps his shotgun, Bubbles and Julian are stealing a bunch of hotdogs and Cory and Trevor are stealing chip bags and bananas] Cory: This is gonna be the best wedding ever, dude. Trevor: Holy shit. So cool. Cory: What the fuck do you have so many bananas for dude? (cuts back to Julian and Bubbles stealing hotdogs and cuts back to Cory and Trevor) Cory: Fuck with the corkscrews and shit, man. Trevor: Fuck. Why are you always telling me what to do? Cory: There are fuckin' bananas in the cart, dude. We don't want bananas at the wedding. No one eats bananas at the wedding. Ricky: Lose some smokes. Cory: Hands up! [Ricky pulls out his pistol and fires it then Trevor fires his shotgun and Bubbles fires his Uzi] Bubbles: Holy fuckin' Jesus! What the fuck have they doing? [Trevor continues to fire his shotgun and Cory is firing his pistol] Julian: Put your gun down! It's us! It's us! Ricky: Julian! Julian: Stop shooting, you dicks! Ricky: What the fuck's going on here?! I just came here for smokes! What the hell's going on?! Cory: Sorry dude, man, we didn't know. Ricky: (to Julian) You're stupid, (to Cory and Trevor) you're stupid, (to Bubbles) you're a fuckin' idiot. Bubbles: The fuckin' gun's broke! It's broken! Ricky: You could've killed me over there! The fuck?! Julian: Ricky, shut up! (points to the surveillance camera) Ricky! Ricky: Oh, for fucksakes! (shoots down the surveillance camera) – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Julian: Let's go, let's go! Everybody out! Cory: Out of the way, dudes. Trevor: Aw shit. (picks up a bag of chips) Ricky: I'm never fuckin' speaking to you guys again. Julian: Get in the truck, Ricky! [Cory and Trevor start putting the food in the truck] Julian: Come on, move! Ricky: Retarded. What's with all these fuckin' bananas?! Trevor: I fucked up, Ricky. People like bananas. Ricky: Fuck off, boys! Bubbles: I have to get the cart in! Ricky: Fuck off with the cart, Bubbles! Bubbles: Come on! I'm not leaving this fuckin' cart! Julian: Leave the cart! [Ricky throws the cart away] Bubbles: Come on! Ricky: Get in the fuckin' truck! GET IN! Bubbles: Jesus Christ! Julian: Get in! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: You know, I may not have done all the right stuff in my life or done smart stuff, but guys, maybe I shouldn't be commenting here, but that was pretty fuckin' dumb, alright? You're robbing a fuckin' grocery store, you didn't even tell me, I'm fuckin' on video tape now firing handguns with no mask on! You guys are FUCKIN' DUMB! Julian: Ricky, would you calm down? Ricky: No, I'm not gonna calm down, Julian! Julian: Calm down! Ricky: I'm pissed off! (points to Bubbles) I'm pissed off at you, (points to Cory and Trevor) and especially you two dicks! You guys are really fuckin' stupid! Julian: Ricky. Trevor: Sorry, man, but you were shooting at us too. Ricky: I'm drunk! I'm really drunk, and I don't need this shit! Julian: Ricky! Would you- Ricky: I'm gettin' married tomorrow! Julian: Would you shut up?! Everything's gonna be cool! Trust me! Bubbles: (crying) Can everyone just please stop it? Julian: Oh, look what- You're making Bubbles cry, Ricky! Just shut up! Ricky: I'm sorry, alright? I'm drunk. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 (2001) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Bubbles: Ricky just waltzes in there and becomes the king of the carts. The fuck does he expect me to do for a living? What does he want me to do, go to EI and say: 'Hello there, I've been hauling shopping carts out of ponds and I've been doing it for 18 years...so give me a fuckin' check please.' That's not goin' to fuckin' happen. I haven't even paid into UI...EI, whatever the fuck they call it these days. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 2 (2002) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: Where's the five grand, Ricky? Ricky: It's right here, Shitler. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Lawyer: I suggest you turn that camera off right now. If I see my face on TV or reproduced in any way, I will sue. Lucy: This is the guy, right here. The guy in the track suit. Ricky: Who in the fuck are you? Lucy: He's a fucking lawyer, Ricky. Ricky: And I'm a fuck offer. Lawyer: Richard, hi, I've heard so much about you. (hands Ricky some papers) Ricky: What the hell is this? Lawyer: Well, I guess you could call it a bill for being an asshole. Ricky: You better watch yourself, buddy. Bubbles, give me a hand with this reading stuff, please? (hands the papers to Bubbles) A lot of big words there, man. Bubbles: Three years child support payments you owe, Ricky. Ricky: Child reports? What? Now you got suit dummies making up big fancy word papers about me being a bad father because I'm rich now? This is bullshit, Lucy! I'm not a bad father am I, Trinity? Lucy: Ricky, a good father doesn't go to jail every year, OK? Ricky: Some do! Lawyer: I think you'll find those papers in order, Richard. See you in court. Ricky: (over megaphone) Think you're so big with your little suit and all your little college reading and stuff like that. Go fuck yourself! Lucy, you better not be banging him! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: Trevor and Cory, what the fuck are you guys doing? I spent two grand on fireworks and I want to see some fucking fireworks! Come on! [standing on the hood of the Shitmobile with fireworks going off behind him] Ricky: All right everybody, fuck it! We're gonna get drunk, we're gonna eat donairs tonight! And I plan on getting drunk as fuck tonight! Drunk as fuck! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Julian: So, Luce, can I ask you something? Lucy: Yeah, what? Julian: What's up with this lawsuit thing? Sarah: Look, Ricky doesn't even understand what child support is, Julian. He doesn't get the fucking concept. Lucy: I figure that a lawsuit will sorta clear his head a little, make him a little bit more responsible. Sarah: No, I don't fucking think so. The only way Ricky is gonna get any smarter is if he dies and comes back as a turnip. He just keeps on getting stupider, Julian. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Bubbles is vacuuming the dirt off of Ricky with a Dustbuster] Ricky: Just a second, buddy. [Ricky walks into Bubbles' shed to pee] Bubbles: Ricky, Jesus. You might want to close the door. Ricky: (to camera crew, drunkenly) Hey, stop fucking filming me in here. [The camera crew zooms in on Bubbles] Bubbles: The fuck are you filming him pee for? Ricky: Turn off the fucking camera. [Bubbles starts vacuuming Ricky's back while he pees] Ricky: (to camera) Fuck off. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[after knocking Cory and Trevor off Julian's ice cream bikes] Ricky: Tripped 'em up with a hockey stick, no big deal, and fired a few shots at them. the way I see it I bought the bikes, I own 'em. Just like owning a target. You shoot at that, I shot at the bikes. Then Julian's got this attitude and fires a bullet at my brand-new car! Real nice! So I fired a shot at his new car. Spy for a spy, that's the way it works around here. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: All right everybody, clear the area! Hand over the weapons, Bubbles. Bubbles: Go fuck yourself, Lahey. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: Well, I think somebody has been talking to Trinity and they've misleaded her around and basically they said that, you know, I'm drunk and stupid all the time, which isn't the case. Once in a while I get drunk, once in a while something comes out of my mouth that may not be the smartest thing in the world, but she shouldn't be worried about growing up drunk and stupid like me. That's not gonna happen. She's already smarter than me, you know, and she's only like 9 years old. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: Strike three, Ricky. It is my duty and pleasure to inform you that you are fired. Give me your walkie. Ricky: I'm not fired, I fuckin' quit. You want your walkie back? No problem. Here Randy, you can go fuckin' get it. Jim: Ricky. [Ricky throws Randy's walkie into the vodka pool, Bubbles laughs] Randy: You just crossed the line, Ricky! [Randy attacks Ricky, they tackle each other into the vodka pool, spilling it] Donny: WHAT IN THE FUCK!? – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Randy: You better be careful with my walkie, Ricky. Ricky: It's my walkie now, Randy. You got suspended, remember? So fuck off. Randy: It's still my walkie! Ricky: I guess you didn't hear what I just said. First thing I said was "it's my walkie now", second thing is "you're suspended", and the third thing was, "fuck off". – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: Knock knock. Bubbles: Who's there Ricky? Ricky: A bootlegger...a bootlegger in the park and I hope it's not you that's doing it...'cause that would put me in an awkwardly situation Julian: Putting you in an awkwardly situation? Ricky: Yeah, I work for Lahey now. I just hope it's not you, Julian. Julian: Well, of course it's me that's doing it, you bonehead! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago

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