Wikidude's Quotes Page #350

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Richard:
Ma'am, I tried everyone on the finance committee...

Selina:
Yeah?

Richard:
...and they all said no.

Selina:
All of them?

Richard:
They all said no very fast.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Amy:
We have a lead on a site for your library: Eastern Shore, Maryland. If it was any more Kennedyesque, it would drive you into the ocean.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
God, that is the most grotesque country I have ever been in, and I have been all over Florida!

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
You're just in the middle of what we Americans call a...

Minna Häkkinen:
Difficult situation.

Selina:
...fuck-fog.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Minna Häkkinen:
Nikolai Genidze is the only hope for the Georgian people. He has the soul of a poet.

Selina:
Yeah, well, that and a car with a sunroof could have bought you my virginity in '83.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Doyle:
We're backing Professor Nikolai Genidze. He's a new voice for democracy in the region and would be a major victory for the Doyle Doctrine.

Selina:
You have a doctrine now? What is it, "Boners are rare, don't waste them"?

Doyle:
Hey, did you think of that while you were walking on the beach with a metal detector, or however you fill your empty days?

Selina:
That's nice.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ben:
I need a drink. It's gotta be 8 a.m. somewhere.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Buddy:
I can't believe I spent the night in jail!

Amy:
It's a piddling DUI. In Nevada, that's practically a resume-builder. There's a guy driving drunk on the state flag, right next to the guy beating his wife.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Selina has caught Andrew cheating on her]

Selina:
I just can't believe I fell for it. Again!

Amy:
Andrew is very hard to get rid of. He's like the herpes virus, or an unwanted child.

Selina:
Well, in this case, he gave me both.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kent:
In order to find an ideal match, the restaurant table, food, and tie will be the same for every date to establish a control. The girl will be different.

Ben:
Jesus, Kent! He's just gotta go to a laundromat, meet a girl, take her to a movie, little chit chat, couple, three drinks, standard HJ in the cab home, and a year later he's a father. Why do you make it so goddamn complicated?

Jonah:
You know, one time I tried hitting on a girl in a laundromat. For someone with broken English, she was real uppity.

Kent:
There's your answer.

Ben:
Carry on.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Gary:
How is an ex-president's ex moving back in with her going to go over in small town America?

Selina:
Unlike small town America, Andrew fucks me in a way I really enjoy.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
I was so sorry to hear about Uber.

Ben:
Bunch of dumbass millennials. Too lazy to learn how to drive drunk.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Furlong:
Do you know what the chief agricultural product of my district is? I'll give you a hint: It looks like Will's wife's clit.

Jonah:
Mangoes?

Furlong:
No. Tell him, Will.

Will:
Green beans.

Furlong:
That's why I spent two months jamming them into that lunch bill... like what, Will?

Will:
Like me jamming anonymous trucker cock down my throat in a public restroom well known for that purpose.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
Can you believe this ? The anni-fuckin'-sary of the historic House vote? I feel like we're celebrating my frat house gang-rape, except I didn't even get a candlelight vigil.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Amy:
Saddle up those emphysema tanks, you inbred cousin-fuckers, because we are going to drag this state into the 20th century. That's right, I said 20th.

– Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
[about Tom James] That fucking guy, with his fucking charm, and his fucking son, in his fucking wheelchair, with his spine all fucked up!

– Veep, Season 4  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Mike:
Wendy and I are adopting a baby from China. Actually, Wendy was keeping it a secret from me until today because I'm so bad at keeping secrets. But I'm gonna be a Dad!

Selina:
You're a nincompoop. We are in the middle of a tied election. there's no time for some Chinese baby.

Ben:
Fortune cookie say you fuck up big time, round eye.

– Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
Honey, it's Yemen. Life gives you Yemen, you got to make Yemen-ade.

– Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
Didn't those Founding Fuckers ever hear of an odd number?!

Ben:
Two great Greek contributions to society: democracy and getting fucked up the ass.

Selina:
I've tried both and they're way overrated, like jazz.

– Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ben:
The three Ss, ma'am, strength, stability and bullshit.

– Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
Jesus Christ, you know? You do your best, you try to serve the people, and then they just fuck you over.

Gary:
Yep.

Selina:
And you know why? Because they're ignorant, and they're dumb as shit. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy. Goddammit.

– Veep, Season 4  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Tom James:
What happens when there's— when there's a tie?

Ben:
Everybody goes online to try to find out what happens when we get a tie.

– Veep, Season 4  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kent:
Ma'am, I have the final House results.

Selina:
Lafontaine won?

Kent:
Mm-hmm.

Selina:
How many abortions does a pro-lifer have to pressure his mistress into before the people turn on him?

Kent:
Three.

– Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
Where's Tom?

Karen:
Oh, uh, he's gone to talk to the crowd at the rally.

Ben:
What?

Selina:
The fuck he has!

Amy:
Why would you let him do that?

Karen:
Well you don't work here.

Ben:
Neither do you!

Selina:
Alright. Fuck all of you, I'm going to the rally.

[everyone starts to protest]

Kent:
Ma'am, that would be unprecedented.

Selina:
No, I'll tell you what's unprecedented, Kent: a tie is unprecedented! So's becoming the first lady president! So's that jack-off becoming president through the back-door! Okay, the rulebook's been torn up now, AND AMERICA IS WIPING ITS NASTY ASS WITH IT!!!

– Veep, Season 4  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

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