Wikidude's Quotes Page #391

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Miss Piggy:
  I know what it's like to work with my hands: I grew up on a farm.  I built cows and milked fences.

Reese Witherspoon:
  I think you mean—

Miss Piggy:
  No, that's what I did!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Reese Witherspoon:
  [to the camera]  I'm not afraid of Miss Piggy.  She doesn't know what she's up against.  I mean, did you see my movie Wild?  I did all my own walking in that movie, so…

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit the Frog:
  This thing with Reese is everywhere; it's a P. R. nightmare!

Miss Piggy:
  [irritated]  Not now.

Kermit the Frog:
  It's the only video North Korea's allowing it's people to see—other than the one of the Supreme Leader swimming.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Miss Piggy:
  [sobbing]  I'm so embarrassed!  How could something like getting-revenge-on-a-person take such a dark turn?

Kermit the Frog:
  Okay, look, don't-don't worry, I'll, uh, I-I'll put out a press release to explain your behavior.  Are-are you more comfortable with sun poisoning or demonic possession?

Miss Piggy:
  [stops sobbing]  No, wait, there is only one way out of this.

Kermit the Frog:
  Delusional dehydration?  That sounds like a thing.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Miss Piggy:
  [on Up Late with Miss Piggy to Reese Witherspoon]  And I have a couple of words to say to you.

Kermit the Frog:
  [offstage, to himself]  Oh, please let those two words be "I'm sorry."

Sam Eagle:
  [with his wing above a red buzzer]  I'm ready to bleep if they're not.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Animal:
  Oh, oh!  Animal always want to perform with live snakes, but Zoot big baby.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kristin Chenoweth:
  How long have they been married?

Janice:
  Oh, wow, like, how can you measure the intertwining of two souls?

Kristin Chenoweth:
  In years.

Janice:
  Oh, then forty.

Floyd Pepper:
  Aw, come on, Chenoweth, sing at the party!

Animal:
  Yeah, yeah!

Floyd Pepper:
  Look, my parents mean so much to me, without them, I don't even think I'd be here.

Kristin Chenoweth:
  [giggles]  Okay, I had so much fun with you guys and I'm open tomorrow so, yeah, let's do it.

Zoot:
  Well, thanks for nothing, Kristin Chenoweth; your selfishness just broke and old couple's heart.

Janice:
  [whispering]  She said "yes".

Zoot:
  Withdrawn.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Gonzo:
  Oh, what about a scale?  That would be thoughtful.  Girls are always asking if they look fat; with a scale, they can know for sure.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Gonzo:
  Well, what about a bag of socks?  They're cheap, and if she hates 'em and throws 'em at you, it's not gonna hurt—like that scale did.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Scooter and Kermit are at Color Me Mine]

Scooter:
You're gonna start with orange?

Kermit:
What's wrong with orange?

Scooter:
  Nothing, uh, orange is great if you're painting a, um…a, um…a, um…an orange.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Kermit has completed a plate featuring him and Denise on their first date]

Scooter:
So you went to the zoo on your first date?

Kermit:
Uh, no, it's a coffee shop.

Scooter:
Oh. Uh, why is there a hippo?

Kermit:
That's a table.

Scooter:
Oh, it was a safari-themed coffee shop! Got it. I guess that explains the giraffe.

Kermit:
[looks at plate That's Denise!

Scooter:
Why is her neck so long?

Kermit:
Scooter, necks are HARD! I... [sighs] Whoopsie Bin?

Scooter:
[takes plate] Yep.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kristin Chenoweth:
  Uh, question—about my seat belt.  I think it's just a guitar strap, uh, connected to—nothing.

Janice:
  Everything's connected to something, if you think about it.

Kristin Chenoweth:
  Okay, I would just feel safer if mine were, uh, you know, connected to the van in some way, and not just air.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Janice:
  Your van?  Last I checked, this van belonged to the universe.

Dr. Teeth:
  Oh, is that so?  Well, maybe next payday, the universe can cut you a cheque.

Zoot:
Wait, what?

Animal:
You guys get PAID?!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Floyd Pepper:
  [to Dr. Teeth]  You know what your problem is?  You think the whole world revolves around you, but it doesn't! It revolves around the moon, which is why we have winter!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit:
  [to Miss Piggy]   What took you so long!?  I ate so much sushi, they named a roll after me.  It was eel and cream cheese, it's awful!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit:
  Okay, okay, listen.  Somebody help the chef get this butter on ice and could we plea—  For Pete's sake, Animal, could you play any louder?!

Animal:
  Louder?  Okay!

Kermit:
  [stumbling on his words]  No, not, just—

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Gonzo:
  So, Kermit, we got a great sketch for Patrick Dempsey.

Kermit:
  Oh, no, Dempsey's out.  We're going with a big block of butter.

Rizzo the Rat:
  Okay, we'll just tweak it.  Piggy's having a dream where she's making out with a big block of butter.

Kermit:
  Hmm?

Rizzo the Rat:
  Huh, it's actually funnier.

Gonzo:
  Yeah.

Pepe the King Prawn:
  And more realistic.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bobo the Bear:
  I was a mechanic back in the service—

Kermit:
  Mm-hmm.

Bobo the Bear:
  —and if you think about it, elevators and helicopters are basically the same thing.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Fozzie Bear:
  [yelling up after having fallen down an elevator shaft]  I think something's wrong with the elevator.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Scooter:
  [on a date]  So, Chelsea, you strike me as someone who grew up in Livingston, New Jersey, and is the youngest of six children.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Miss Piggy:
  I lost a lot of money on the shower gel.  Still a mystery to me why nobody bought Hogwash™.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bobo the Bear:
  Hug?

Kermit:
  Please. [Kermit and Bobo hug]

Bobo the Bear:
  Bring it in. There you go. [Uncle Deadly takes a picture with his phone from behind]

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Pepe the King Prawn:
  Well, you must trust your heart—

Rizzo the Rat:
  Yeah.

Pepe the King Prawn:
  —because your heart is never wrong.

Rizzo the Rat:
  That's true.

Scooter:
  Yeah, yeah.  She got way too physical way too fast.  [Rizzo the Rat does a spit-take]

Pepe the King Prawn:
  I stand corrected: your heart is very, very stupid.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Rowlf the Dog:
  Who succeeded President William McKinley after he was assassinated in 1901?  Hint: it wasn't a dog; canine-Americans still can't hold public office.

Fozzie Bear:
  Guys, it's a trick question:  McKinley's a mountain, not a president, but Mount Rushmore is four presidents; ergo, the answer is President Rushmore!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

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In which movie does this quote appear: "Here's looking at you, kid."?
A Casablanca
B Unforgiven
C Taxi Driver
D In the Line of Fire