Family Matters

Family Matters

Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253).

Year:
1989
8,057 Views

[on the afternoon of the Prom]

Laura:
Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded?

Maxine Johnson:
It happens every year the day of the prom. Did you see them work on Dora Fenswick?

Laura:
She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother!

Laura:
[Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis!

Curtis:
Hi Laura!

Laura:
What's wrong?

Curtis:
I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. I won't be able to take you to the prom.

Laura:
Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me?

Curtis:
That's Right

Laura:
Let me tell you something. It better be a dead relative in your excuse.

Curtis:
My grandmother died!

Laura:
[gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me.

Curtis:
My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral

Laura:
Can you wait a day, of course you can't

Curtis:
I know you're disappointed. I'm sorry, call you next week?

Laura:
Poor Curtis

Maxine Johnson:
Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom.

Laura:
Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date.

Laura:
[as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Whoo!

Steve Urkel:
[sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia.

Maxine Johnson:
Will she be okay?

Steve Urkel:
[sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. [crying]

Maxine Johnson:
[Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. This is amazing! You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. This means you guys have to go together. [laughs] Bye! [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]

Carl Otis Winslow:
[after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. He's having the same discussion with his father. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Does that about cover it?

Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow:
Yes sir.

Carl Otis Winslow:
[pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward.

[Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]

Carl Otis Winslow:
Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse.

Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow:
Yes sir.

Carl Otis Winslow:
But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Now hit the sack. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything.

Harriette Winslow:
Now let me get this straight. You dumped one of my relatives in a Hefty bag. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Does that about cover it?

Carl Otis Winslow:
Yes ma'am.

Harriette Winslow:
[pulls up a chair] Sit down, Carl.

[Carl sits down]

Harriette Winslow:
[grabbing Carl's hair] Carl...

[Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]

Harriette Winslow:
Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Trying to cover it up only make things worse.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Yes ma'am.

Harriette Winslow:
But, apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way, so be it. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Yes, ma'am.

Harriette Winslow:
Now let's hit the sack.

Carl Otis Winslow:
[More excitedly] Yes, ma'am!

Harriette Winslow:
What a miserable evening.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting.

Harriette Winslow:
I am not! I don't ever want to go to that restaurant again

Carl Otis Winslow:
[to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again.

Harriette Winslow:
WHAT?

Carl Otis Winslow:
Oh nothing, never mind!

Harriette Winslow:
Oh no no no. Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. If you have something to say, just spit it out.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight.

Harriette Winslow:
Abrasive? I was not abrasive.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Well yeah. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. Maybe a better word is Loud.

Harriette Winslow:
LOUD?

Carl Otis Winslow:
Like that. And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table.

Harriette Winslow:
Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?"

Carl Otis Winslow:
I understand that. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us.

Harriette Winslow:
Yeah. right next to the bathroom. Ordinarily, I like a table right next to the water. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank.

Carl Otis Winslow:
I understand that. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again.

Harriette Winslow:
And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker.

Carl Otis Winslow:
You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette.

Harriette Winslow:
I simply put out his cigar.

Carl Otis Winslow:
In his soup.

Harriette Winslow:
Did I embarrass you, Carl? Is that the problem?

Carl Otis Winslow:
Yes, Harriette! To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers.

Harriette Winslow:
No, they weren't.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Harriette, they applauded when we left. The valet gave me a tip.

Harriette Winslow:
[retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
This diary belongs to Harriette and I will not violate her privacy. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind.

Carl Otis Winslow:
How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
[Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Yeah skip that part.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
March 10, Went to the market. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. I met Raoul.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Raoul? Whose Raoul?

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
Wait Wait. Raoul is the new produce manager. He introduced himself and I was immediately struck by deep brown eyes, his engaging sense of humor and how delicately he handled my cantalopes.

Carl Otis Winslow:
[Gasps] Why of all the low down...

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
Calm down, Carl. Calm down, easy. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married.

Carl Otis Winslow:
That a girl, Harriette.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
March 24th, Raoul's houseoat is beautiful.

Carl Otis Winslow:
What?

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
I feel so safe in Raoul's strong arms I love him soo much and I sorta like Carl.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Oh nooo.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. [poins to the part on Harriette's diary] Aha, it's over with me and Raoul.

Carl Otis Winslow:
Oh thank god.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
Chuck is twice the man Raoul is.

Carl Otis Winslow:
CHUCK?

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel:
Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly.


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