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[doorbell rings]

Sarah Doyle:
That must be my boyfriend.

[bunch of random party people showed up in Sarah's house]

Rachel:
Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell ya. I invited a bunch of random dickheads.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Stacie:
Oh, hi, Rachel.

Rachel:
[straining] Oh, hi, Stacie. How are you? Are you still working as a checkout chick?

Stacie:
[chuckles] No. I'm a neurosurgeon now.

Sarah Doyle:
What?

Stacie:
Yeah, it's long hours, but I'm lucky that Dave stays home with the kids. And honestly, it's not even about the six-figure salary. It's about the connection I make with my patients.

Sarah Doyle:
[jealous] Cool. I have a garden.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
[on phone] Yeah, and I just rolled up to that sh*t party. Yeah, alright. Later. [hangs up]

Sarah Doyle:
Who was that?

Rachel:
Dunno. Just dialed some random number.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rat Man:
So, Sarah, what have you been up to?

Sarah Doyle:
Well, while you're all getting married and having kids, I've been giving birth to this garden. And I've actually got a boyfriend, too, who's coming soon. He's a musician.

Eye-Bagged Girl & Tiny Angel:
[in unison] That's cool. Do you and Rachel still hang out? No offense, but she was kind of scary.

Ponytail Green Shirt Girl:
Yeah, f*** her, man! I hated her!

Sarah Doyle:
Really? I thought everyone liked her.

Rat Man:
Nah. We actually all distanced ourselves from ya since ya hang around her so much.

Rat Man:
Cool party though, Sarah.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
I'm having a small gathering tonight. Do you maybe wanna come?

Winged Bat Guy:
Sure. As long as your party can handle a handsome "wingman" like me. [does a rock hand sign while making a weird face with his tongue]

Sarah Doyle:
Um, I don't...I don't get it.

Winged Bat Guy:
'Cause, like, I've got wings, you know, or, or...

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, no, totally. Oh, my god. That's so funny. You're so funny. [nervous laugh]

Winged Bat Guy:
Wait. Wait. Wait. Shut the f*** up for a second. Wait. Hold on. [presses record on his phone]

Winged Bat Guy:
[scatting & singing] Tomato, garden, brown-haired girl.

Winged Bat Guy:
Sorry. When my musical inspiration hits me, I have to get it down on voice memo.

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, wow. You're a musician, too?

Winged Bat Guy:
Yeah, kind of a protocol. No big deal. Anyway, yeah, I'll see you tonight. Bye-bye -- Or even, "Bat-bye". [close up face] See ya.

[Winged Bat Guy poorly flies away with his tiny wings]

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas' Computer:
Social media notification. You have just been invited to Wollongong High School reunion by Sarah.

Lucas:
Sarah invited me? This is it! This could be the night I finally get my kissies!

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
These tomatoes are going really well. Surprisingly I haven't even mulched them.

Rachel:
[looking at her phone] Uh-huh.

Sarah Doyle:
And I actually grew this basil from a cutting. Do you want to try some?

Rachel:
Uh, about 6:00.

Sarah Doyle:
Look, if you're so bored by my garden, maybe some of my other friends might actually support me.

Rachel:
You don't have any other friends.

Sarah Doyle:
Stacie's my friend.

Rachel:
Remember when I dug up a dead dog and put it in her car on muck-up day? That was sick.

Sarah Doyle:
Yeah, actually that was really mean.

Rachel:
Oh, come on! Everyone loved it. And it was 12 years ago. She would have gotten over it by now.

Sarah Doyle:
Wow. Has it really been 12 years since high school?

Rachel:
Yeah. And look how far we've come. [poorly spits]

Sarah Doyle:
You know what? That what we should do to tonight. Let's have a little impromptu reunion. [texts on her phone] "Heyyy guys! Long time no see haha. Small gathering tonight @ mine. Would luv 2 catch up! Love heart". This will be so much fun. I can't wait to show off my new garden.

Rachel:
Shut the f*** up, Sarah.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Mermaid:
Did you win your maiden?

Lucas:
No, it's hopeless. Even after saving her, she still doesn't care for me.

Mermaid:
You know, I pity you, Lucas, and it's kind of funny watching you try to win over this plain woman. So I suppose I can give you the recipe to the ancestors' ancient love potion. But I warn you -- Nobody has ever successfully gathered the ingredients. I don't even know how powerful it is.

Lucas:
Hmm. Alchemy. I don't think so.

Mermaid:
Well, hold onto them just in case.

Lucas:
...Okay.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[while Rachel is on the floor on her own vomit]

Rachel:
[groans] That was so beautiful. F***! I'm so horny now. [retches]

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
Sharon, I'm sorry I kicked you, but you we're becoming a scary bride. But...you're still my wife and I love you.

[as Peleeken kiss Sharon, Sharon activate her good side]

Sharon Doyle:
[normal voice] P-Peleeken?

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
SHARON! YOU'RE ALIVE!

Sharon Doyle:
I don't know what came over me. The wedding, the bridesmaids. I guess it all sent me a bit crazy.

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
That's okay, darling. I understand. You were just stressed. OH! I've got an idea. Let's go on an Airbnb honeymoon and cheese and crackers and binge epic TV shows. YAAAY!

Bridesmaid #3:
Yeah, this was the most cringest wedding ever.

Bridesmaid #1:
Yeah, I know, and the food was sh*t, too.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
Please, let my friends go. Oh, this is just awful.

Sharon Doyle:
[deep voice] Quiet, puny husband Now that I have my photo with all the guests inside, the whole world will love me as -- As the coolest birde ever.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as the photo taker uses the Polaroid camera to take the photo of Sarah holding hands with Peleeken and the others, the photo snaps and sucks them into the picture]

Sharon Doyle:
I did it! I have the best wedding photo of all time! My guests are trapped here forever! [to the Heathers] THIS BEATS ALL YOUR SH*T WEDDING PHOTOS!

Bridesmaid #3:
Oh, my god, what a try-hard.

Bridesmaid #1:
I know, and it's still a crappy photo.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
You really want a photo of me holding hands with your husband?

Sharon Doyle:
Yes, this is beautiful! We are breaking jealousy norms!

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sharon Doyle:
Sarah! You made it!

Sarah Doyle:
Of course. Congratulations! I didn't know you were marrying Peleeken. Rachel and I know him.

Sharon Doyle:
Thank you, yes! We met on my 30th birthday. I was partying at Portugal Club in Portugal! All my friends were passed out but then I look across the room, and there he was -- Peleeken! I knew right then and there we had to get married!

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
Yes, I never believed in love at first sight before I saw --

Sharon Doyle:
SHUT UP! I'M TELLING THE STORY!

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
Sorry, dear.

Bridesmaid #3:
[chuckles] That was so awkward.

Bridesmaid #1:
Yeah, how long do you give it?

Bridesmaid #3:
Like two months.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Crab Priest:
Do you Sharon, take this, whatever it is, to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Sharon Doyle:
I DOOO!

Crab Priest:
Crab-tastic. You may now kiss?

[as Sharon lifts up the husband's face cloth, its revealed that Peleeken will be Sharon's husband]

Sarah Doyle:
Peleeken? That the guy from the Bush Doof.

Rachel:
[crying] F***! Sorry. It's just so beautiful. It's like a f***ing fairy tale.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Sarah goes into Sharon's wedding]

Big Crab Bouncer:
[to Rachel] Oi, can't come in with that sword.

Rachel:
It's my new look. I'm not gonna use it. Calm down.

Big Crab Bouncer:
Sorry, love. No weapons allowed.

Rachel:
Ugh, fine. Whatever. [to Lucas] Oi, stay out here and mind my sword.

Lucas:
[to the Big Crab Bouncer] We're a trio.

Big Crab Bouncer:
Uh-huh. Can you wait away from me, mate?

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
I haven't seen your sister in ages. Remember when we used to get f***ed up and bash people at Wollongong Train Station?

Sarah Doyle:
Um, that was just you two.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
[to Sarah] Oh, you're going to a wedding? I love weddings! But alas, I wasn't invited. So I shall listen to sad music and walk home...alone.

[while Lucas slowly walking home listen to sad music]

Sarah Doyle:
You can come if you want.

Lucas:
[stops walking] YAAAAY! I know you two are usually the feminine duo, but I sense a new vibe for us. We're a trio! And I shall now write our theme song in my head.

Lucas:
[repeated singing] Lucas, and Rachel, Sarah.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
Hey, Rache-- Oh. Hi, Lucas.

Lucas:
Oh, hello, Sarah. You look rather beautiful and sun kissed today.

Sarah Doyle:
Thanks. I've been gathering. I'm kind of, like, a gardener now.

Lucas:
Oh, that's so cool! Personally I like tech stuff, but nature is cool, too. I enjoy the fractal element.

Rachel:
[to Sarah] What do you want?

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, my sister Sharon is getting married on Planet Bali. Did you want to come? Could be fun.

Rachel:
Yeah, alright, but I'll warn ya, I get pretty emotional at weddings.

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, really? I didn't know that.

Rachel:
Yeah, something about two people finding each other against all odds gets me going. And the free drinks.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[while Lucas makes a sword for Rachel]

Rachel:
Hurry up. How long is this gonna take?

Lucas:
Now, now, Rachel, blade-smithing is a delicate process. These forging techniques span thousands of years. We mustn't disgrace the steel gods of Gwentalia.

Rachel:
Shut the f*** up, man. Is this nearly done?

Lucas:
Yep, here you go. These Lucas blades go like hotcakes on my Etsy, so you are very privileged to get one this quick, in my opinion.

Rachel:
F*** yeah. This is definitely my new look.

Lucas:
I know you just commissioned me to make this blade, but may I ask what your intentions are with it?

Rachel:
I had a vision at some stupid, f***ing backyard hippie party. [spits] Saw myself as, like, an empress or some sh*t holding a sword. I guess I always wanted this for myself, but I never realized I could make it into a reality till now.

Rachel:
Alright, now shut up!

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
Hey, Sharon just dropped around to invite us to her wedding. She's getting married on Planet Bali.

Sarah's Dad:
Who's Sharon?

Sarah Doyle:
My sister? Your daughter?

Sarah's Dad:
Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Sarah Doyle:
So, you guys coming?

Sarah's Dad:
Nah. [chillaxing as he tries to open up a can of beer]

[Sarah sees her Mom passing out]

Sarah Doyle:
Is Mom alright?

Sarah's Dad:
[slowly turns his head at his wife aggressively] Yeah, she'll be alright.

[Sarah slowly walks away from her house after what she just witness]

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sharon Doyle:
SARAAAH! [while crawling like a spider]

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, hey, Sis! Oh, my god! I haven't seen you in months. How was Portugal?

Sharon Doyle:
YES, IT WAS LOVELY! THANK YOU! I RENTED AN AIRBNB IN PORTUGAL -- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? I'M TALKING!

Sarah Doyle:
Uh, sorry.

Sharon Doyle:
...in Portugal to write my novel, but I met a man, and we had a coronavirus romance! Now we are getting MARRIED! [close-up face]

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, my god! Congratulations! That's incredible, Sharon!

Sharon Doyle:
Thank you! That is why I have come! You and Mum and Dad are invited to my wedding on Planet Bali TONIIIGHT! Here is the pretty invitation I made on Photoshop!

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, yeah. It's very pretty.

Sharon Doyle:
See you all there TONIIIIIGHT! [ascends as she turn into objects while floating in the sky disappearing]

Crow:
F***in' hell, she was loud.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah's Dad:
Sarah, I know you want to start your own garden, so I dug me old B L O O D & B O N E from the garage. Thought you could use some B L O O D & B O N E.

Sarah Doyle:
Uh, it's alright, Dad, the YouTube video I just watched said I could use Wollongong soil 'cause apparently it's very nutritious.

Sarah's Dad:
[annoyed] Alright, fine, fine. Forget I said anything about the B L O O D & B O N E. I guess you don't need the B L O O D & B O N E for your garden. Yep, I was just trying to help, but I guess you don't want any help from me. [throws the Blood & Bone soil away into the sky]

Sarah's Dad:
F*** you, Sarah.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
[to herself] Yeah. I've never had something. This will be my something. I'm gonna grow a garden and stuff. This is a nice time to light my vanilla candle to celebrate this decision.

Rachel:
[far away] JUST SHUT UP, SARAH! I'M FANTASIZING OVER HERE!

Rachel:
[to herself] Empress Rachel. Yeah, that does actually sound pretty sick.

YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

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