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Rachel:
Oi, Sarah! Where'd you go?

Lucas:
Rachel?

Rachel:
Huh. Oh, it's you. You seen Sarah?

Lucas:
She passed by here but a moment ago. It appears some bees have taken her into that honey castle there.

Rachel:
Oh. Oh, well. I guess she's dead.

Lucas:
Wait! Don't you see, Rachel? Destiny strikes again. We must go into the castle and save Sarah. Just imagine the kind of experience points we can gain from those elite bees! Come, Rachel, our co-op quest begins.

Rachel:
Ugh.

Lucas:
[singing] Yet another Lucas and Rachel quest. La, la, la, la, la, LA!

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Lucas sees Sarah getting grabbed by bees into the honey castle]

Lucas:
Sarah? My love? Crossing into my storyline once again?

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah starts to do a video about her garden]

Sarah Doyle:
Hi, I'm @GrownbySarah, and this is my new flower garden. Um, it's actually a flower bed, but it's in my garden, so --

Rachel:
[stops recording] No, that sucks. Nobody's going to want to watch this sh*t, Sarah. You're embarrassing yourself. Do it again.

Sarah Doyle:
Ugh, okay, let's just try one more time. So, uh, hey, guys, these are my flowers, and -- [sees a bee] AAH! OH, MY GOD! OH, A BEE! AAH! I HATE BEES! Phew. Oh, whoops, could you just edit that last bit about hating bees? I want to keep it positive. I'm just really allergic to them.

Rachel:
[playing games on the phone] What?

[suddenly one of the bees grabs Rachel]

Sarah Doyle:
RACHEL! HELP!

Rachel:
Hold on, I'll film ya in a sec. I'm just about to hit a f***ing insane combo. [sees Sarah gone] Sarah? Sarah?! HEY, GET BACK HERE, YA DOG!

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah's Mom:
Honey, why don't you tell the real story about how we met next time?

[as it transitions to the next scene, the real story starts off in a casino where Sarah's Dad plays the poker machine]

[when Sarah's Mom arrives, she touches the handle that Sarah's Dad was using]

Sarah's Dad:
Hey! That's my poker machine.

Sarah's Mom:
Oh. Sorry.

Sarah's Dad:
Wait. Maybe we can use the poker machine together.

[as Sarah's Mom and Dad pulled the poker machine together, they still lose]

Sarah's Dad:
I might have lost my life savings that night, but at least I want you.

Sarah's Mom:
Oh, I love you, honey.

Sarah's Dad:
I love you too, babe.

[Sarah's Mom and Dad suddenly kissed as their lips stretched out while they're still sitting in their couches]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[after Sarah's Dad saved Sarah's Mom from Prince Boulder who turned out to be a Boy in a Boulder]

Sarah's Mom:
You saved me, once again. Does this mean you...love me?

Sarah's Dad:
Honey, I made a whole four-L.P., triple-gatefold concept noise album about how much I love you. [close-up face] What do you reckon?

Sarah's Mom:
[happily] OH!

[Sarah's Mom and Dad story ends]

Lucas:
That was so romantic!

Sarah's Dad:
Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?

Sarah's Mom:
Oh, doll, no, no, you just -- That was all just made up.

Lucas:
What?

Sarah's Dad:
Yeah, but, like, well, how cool would it be if it actually happened, though?

Lucas:
I guess I'll never get an object that represents a tale of familial lore.

Sarah's Mom:
A tale of familial lore? Well, I did knit this braid, with yarn from Sarah's baby blanket. You can have this if you want.

Lucas:
Yes, that's it! Thank you, thank you, thank you! [kisses Sarah's Mom]

Sarah's Dad:
[to his wife] F***, that was actually pretty hot, eh?

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Prince Boulder:
Jesus christ, Princess. The one thing I ask for when I come home from my sh*t job is that you do the bloody dishes!

Sarah's Mom:
WELL, MAYBE IF YOU STOPEED GAMBLING ALL OUR MONEY AWAY, WE'D BE ABLE TO AFFORD A DISHWASHER!

Prince Boulder:
You swore after out last argument that you'd NEVER bring up my gambling addiction again!

Sarah's Mom:
I can't put up with this ANYMOOOORE!

[before Prince Boulder was about this punch Sarah's Mom, Sarah's Dad crashes in their window]

Sarah's Dad:
Get your hands off her.

Prince Boulder:
Ohh. So you want to duel me, a do ya? Let's do this.

[as Sarah's Dad immediately punch Prince Boulder, Prince Boulder cracks his shell and reveals to be a boy inside the boulder this entire time]

Boy in a Boulder:
Oh, I'm sorry. I was a just a boy. A boy in a boulder. This was just my costume, and I got attached to it.

[Boy in a Boulder instantly zig-zags across the room leaving the trailer]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
Wow! What a tale! I bet I know what happens next, even though it seemed like the whole world was against you, you marched back in there, slayed the boulder, and got the woman of your dreams, didn't you?

Sarah's Dad:
What? No, I was just scared. They got married and I just went home. I dabbled in noise albums for a few years.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah's Mom sees Sarah's Dad on the fountain when he became a waiter hours ago]

Sarah's Mom:
What are you doing here?

Sarah's Dad:
Well, I had to come see you again. You've been on my mind all day. [while forcing his finger into his mind]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Pink Restaurant Manager:
Oi! Get back to work, you lot!

Sarah's Dad:
But I don't work he--

Pink Restaurant Manager:
AAH! Get in here and serve the guests. I'm stressing out, and I've got anxiety. [goblin voice] And put your apron on too. DON'T FORGET TO PUT YOUR F***ING APRON ON.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Guards:
Who are you?!

Sarah's Dad:
My name is Sarah's Dad, and I've come to see a girl.

Guard #1:
Sorry. This wedding has a strictly no-peasant policy.

[Sarah's Dad sadly walks away]

Guard #1:
U-Unless you're like a DJ or something.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Civilians:
[singing] Evenin', cobba, evenin' cobba. This is the town where we all say evenin'. Evenin', cobba, evenin' cobba. You're gonna love it here. [repeated 4x] Evenin'cobba. Will the real slim shady please stand uuuuuuuup?

Man:
Oh, did you see that? He stood up.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Lucas has a question for Sarah's parents while hearing their story]

Lucas:
Wait, you're saying she was a princess and you were a medieval peasant? How old are you two?

Sarah's Dad:
That's a very rude question, mate.

Lucas:
I beg your pardon, but I--

Sarah's Dad:
DON'T YOU EVER INTERRUPT ME AGAIN! [goes back to his chill position]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah's Dad sees her father died]

Sarah's Dad:
Father?

Caretaker:
I'm afraid he's gone. Must have had a heart attack seeing you jump on that carriage.

Sarah's Dad:
No, man! [said it calmly]

Caretaker:
Look, I've got my cart here to take the dead to the city for cremation. Shall I take your Dad?

Sarah's Dad:
Did you say the city?

Caretaker:
Yep.

Sarah's Dad:
Can I get a ride? There's someone I need to find.

Caretaker:
Ah, sure. But don't you care about your Dad?

Sarah's Dad:
What? Oh, uh, yeah. I don't know, I guess.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah's Nan whips Bremington riding the cart that Sarah's Mom and Nan are in]

Sarah's Nan:
Bremington! Go faster!

Bremington:
Sorry, ma'am. I'm trying my best.

Sarah's Nan:
Well, try harder!

[whips Bremington again, but mistakenly whips his head off]

Sarah's Nan:
Oh. Whoops.

Sarah's Mom:
[screams]

Sarah's Dad:
[heard the scream] That's the most beautiful scream I've ever heard.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah's Dad:
[singing] I'm peasant Sarah's Dad, and I live here on this farm. I chop wood all day long, and this is the end of my song.

Sarah's Dad's Grandad:
Oi! No son of mine will be a pansy musician! Now get back to chopping! UHHLALA!

Sarah's Dad:
Sorry, Father. I guess I'm just a bit of a...tortured artist.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah's Mom:
Oh, hello, dear. What a lovely surprise. You've popped in for a visit, have you?

Lucas:
Correct, Mrs. Sarah's Mum. I've come to listen to a family tale.

Sarah's Dad:
I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK! Just so happens I'm writing a big old bloody book about our family's story right now.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
Greetings, Mr. Sarah's Dad. I come bearing gifts in exchange for your family's lore. Allow me to lend you my ear.

Sarah's Dad:
No, no. I'm already happy with my current electricity plan. Sorry, mate.

Lucas:
Wait! Sir! You might not recognize me, as I look even more distinguished with my new cape. But it's me, Lucas the Magnificent.

Sarah's Dad:
Oh, you're that boy Sarah knows. I know you.

Lucas:
I am indeed! What? Has she mentioned me before?

Sarah's Dad:
No, not really. Just stalked your profile 'cause you like everything Sarah posts online.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
Ha ha! I've done it! I've gone back to the correct time to seize yet another ingredient in my alchemist's quest. Wing of bat, check. Lock of lover's hair, obtained. And now bones of the Megafauna, procured. What's next? Hmm.

Lucas:
"Tale of Familial Lore". What the hell is that supposed to mean? [weakly punches his wall]

[cuts to the next scene]

Lucas:
O hear me, occult gods, for I have encountered an impenetrable hindrance in my quest. What is a tale of familial lore?

Cloud God:
Oi, f***in' relax, man. Why don't you just go to her house and just, like, I don't know, get friendly with her Dad and Mum and sh*t?

Lucas:
That's it! I understand now. I'll just listen to her father tell me a story. Oh, thank you, Cloud God! You unlocked the riddle.

Cloud God:
Relax, man. I'm not a cloud god. I'm just a regular cloud.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[after Lucas presses the time machine button way back to 300 million years to now]

Sarah Doyle:
Rachel, look! We're home! Ew. Is that Megabilby's head. Are you okay?

[then Rachel's heart suddenly explodes into black liquid]

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, my god. I'm sorry, Rachel.

Rachel:
Shut up.

Lucas:
On the bright side, Sarah, while I was out in the plains, I collected some megadung for your garden.

[as some other passengers arrived at the train station]

Passenger:
Ugh, it smells like sh*t in here.

[Sarah moves back from Lucas' where he's holding a bag of megadung that shows the stinky smell]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Megabilby:
I dare us to jump off this train.

Rachel:
Look, Megabilby, I'm not gonna to lie -- The first time I saw you, I just wanted to steal your skull, 'cause that's how it was in a vision I had where I was empress.

Megabilby:
So that's all I am to you? A skull?

Rachel:
No. I mean, yeah, sort of. But after spending today with you, something changed. Check this out.

[Rachel grabs Megabilby's hand to her chest]

Rachel:
My heartbeat. I legit did not have one before I met you.

Megabilby:
Wow. I can feel it -- And a bit of you boob, too.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
[to Sarah] The comet is coming to wipe out the Megafauna at any moment now.

Meteor (as FallingAngel667):
Hi. Yeah, he's right. I'll be there any second now. Here's a little taste. [shoots tiny fireballs]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah finally managed to finish the boat for the animals]

Sarah Doyle:
It's done. Sturdy, totally wave-proof, built with my blood, sweat, and tears. I did it.

Mecret:
[literally didn't do anything but gave speech motivations] Um, more like we did it.

Rachel:
What the f*** is this, Sarah?

Sarah Doyle:
I built an ark to save the animals.

Mecret:
[once again] We built an ark.

Rachel:
How the f*** is a boat gonna stop a comet?

Meteor (as FallingAngel667):
Bet there in 5. Gonna wipe out every living thing on Earth. [laughs]

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, whoops. I guess I was so focused on manifesting that I forgot what I was manifesting.

Rachel:
Oh, my god. You are so dumb, Sarah.

Mecret:
Yeah, no offense, Sarah, but that's the stupidest [bleep] I've ever heard.

Mecret:
Oh, my god. I just got DM'd by a deejay with a blue tick and 200,000 followers. I'm out of here. Bye. [leaves to another dimension]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Sarah almost finished the boat, it then gets splashed out by the Wave Pool]

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, my god. This is hopeless.

Mecret:
Come on, babes, remember, obstacles are opportunities in disguise.

Sarah Doyle:
Um, can you maybe just, like, help me a little bit?

Mecret:
[demon voice] NO.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Megabilby does the Wave Pool on Tsunami mode]

Megabilby:
See you in hell, Rachel.

[suddenly Rachel's heart starts to grow a bit]

Rachel:
F*** it. I'm coming in.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

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