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Vargas:
Marshal Chris Monsanto. Who's the new partner?

Trace Domino:
The name's Trace Domino.

Vargas:
Wow. Maybe this one will survive]

[Chris gets a flashback to his old partner that got killed in the same warehouse]

Chris Monsanto:
Sorry, Vargas. You can't board a flight with more than two bags. Hold on. Coming up with a witticism.

[Vargas shoots Chris' first partner]

Chris Monsanto:
Diamond Gene! Oh! Oh, I swear...I will adapt your look in tribute to your life.

Diamond Gene:
Thanks.

Vargas:
There goes your new partner.

Chris Monsanto:
Not again, Vargas.

[Chris Monsanto who is a flashback also flashbacks another partner that died]

Chris Monsanto:
[to Wishbone] Wait. Wait a second. How -- How many bags can you take on a plane again?

[Vargas shoots Wishbone]

Chris Monsanto:
Wishbone!

[Chris' flashbacks ends]

Chris Monsanto:
You know something? The first bullet I put in you is for Diamond Gene. The second one is for Wishbone, and third one is for that other guy -- What's his face -- The guy that wore the trench coat.

– Eagleheart (2011)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
You know, I can't just help but wonder where they went. Did Brett ever find the realer world?

[meanwhile where Brett and the Crew finally found the Realer World]

Brett Brettington:
Oh, my god! We did it. We actually broke out and made it to the Realer World!

[then Brett and his crew suddenly gets stomped to death by one of the Silver Girls]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
Hey, guys. I know everyone's been, like, fighting and having their own little things going on, but I thought you might all be hungry, so I just bought some fish and chips for everyone. I-I hope you're not angry at me.

Sarah Doyle:
Aww, Peleeken.

Rachel:
Peleeken, you son of a b*tch. [said it happily]

Sarah's Dad:
Yummy! Do I smell fish and chips?

Sarah's Mom:
Oh, how delightful. Is it alright if we join youse?

Peleeken Mischief Maker:
Yeah, of course! I brought enough for everyone!

Rachel:
Ah, what a nice day. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I love all of you f***s.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Lucas comes by to apologize to Sarah]

Lucas:
Hey, Sarah, uh. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about how weird I've been acting around you. I've just been acting really immature and in my own head recently, and, uh, yeah, if I ever made you feel uncomfortable because of that, I'm genuinely really sorry about that.

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, uh, thanks, Lucas. Yeah, that's alright.

Lucas:
Yeah. Anyways, I'll see you later.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[after Rachel saves Sarah by giving the Megabilby Skull to Brett]

Sarah Doyle:
I'm sorry you had to give up Megabilby for me.

Rachel:
Oh, forget about it. I'm just happy to have my best friend back.

Sarah Doyle:
Me, too. Oh, and sorry I blocked you. I'm gonna unblock you right now, okay?

Rachel:
That's okay. I still like your posts from my burner account anyway.

Sarah Doyle:
Aww, Rachel, I love you.

Rachel:
Love you too, b*tch.

[when the Sarah and Rachel followed to each other's profile again, their phones ascends and made a love connection knowing that they're back together again]

Animator:
I made this graphic, yep.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
Perhaps I was wrong all along. Maybe in this strange, coincidental universe, I'm not the main character. I'm the joke. [echoing]

[suddenly a random square appears in the sky and reveals two silver girls cheering for Lucas]

Silver Girls:
[repeated] We Love you. Hi!

Lucas:
What -- What's going on? Who are you ladies?

Silver Girl #1:
Don't worry, don't worry! Just go apologize to Sarah!

Silver Girl #2:
Just go! We love you!

Silver Girl #1:
Go say sorry.

Silver Girl #2:
Bye!

Silver Girl #1:
Okay, bye!

[then the square closes and leaves]

Lucas:
Silver Destiny. Hmm. I think I understand now.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Lucas plays the keyboard]

Lucas:
[singing] I finally know where I went wrong, I just wanted her to love me. I became obsess with her, but obsession is not love. Yeah! [realizes and stopped singing] WAIT A SECOND, I'M DOING IT AGAIN! [throws the keyboard away and exploded]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah calls Rachel for help when she about to get forced to walk off the plank]

Sarah Doyle:
Rachel! Thank god. It's so good to hear your voice.

Rachel:
Yeah, y-you too. What's up?

Sarah Doyle:
Well, I'm actually right above your place right now, and I'm being forced to walk off a plank to my death. So I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You're my best friend, and I was being stupid.

Rachel:
Wait, you're walking off a plank?

Sarah Doyle:
Yeah. Anyway, I love you, Rachel. I'm sorry we had that fight. Goodbye. [hangs up]

Skull Megabilby:
[to Rachel] Go to her, babe.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
Mega Baby, stop eating the sand. You too, Rachelina.

Skull Megabilby:
Oh, they grow up so fast.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Brett:
For a long time we were a crew of nine. I had to be selective of our final 10th member because once we break free, we will finally taste a truer reality than this one and then conquer it.

Sarah Doyle:
Wow. Just because my garden selfie went viral?

[all the crew laughed]

Brett:
[laughs] You always stay in character, don't you? Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the best parody Instagram comedian in the world.

Sarah Doyle:
Parody? What do you mean? I wasn't trying to be funny.

Brett:
Wait, this isn't a bit? I thought your post was making fun of the whole garden girl archetype. I thought you were a genius satirist.

Sarah Doyle:
Um, no?

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[meanwhile Lucas, and the 3 guys are still questing in the dungeon]

Lucas:
[tired] Will this quest ever end?

Dungeon:
Congratulations, questers, you have proved you are pure of heart. Now place your love potions upon mine altar and I shall bless them. So you may finally win your maidens. Ooh, lucky you.

Daniel:
CAROLINE, CAROLINE! DANIEL CAN FINALLY HAVE HIS CAROLINE!

[Daniel gets burned to death by a dragon]

Crumblord:
DANIEL!

Matthew:
NO!

Crumblord:
We came all this way. I can't give up now. For Cynthia.

[Crumblord gets burned to death by the same dragon that killed Daniel]

Matthew:
CRUMBLORD!

Dungeon:
Come, boys. Don't you want your love potions? Which one of you is next?

Lucas:
[to Matthew] Are you insane? That dragon's gonna obliterate you. If you're dead, how can you love your maiden?

Matthew:
Ah, 'tis the eternal paradox. Once she finds out I died for her, my Jennifer will feel so guilty, she'll have to fall in love with me.

Lucas:
I understand your logic, but hearing it out loud, you sound...kind of crazy.

Matthew:
Perhaps I am crazy to die for my lady love. But wouldn't you?

Lucas:
No. No, I-I wouldn't. That's just stupid. You'll be dead, idiot.

Matthew:
I SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR LOOOOVE!

[then Matthew gets burned to death like all the rest]

Lucas:
Hm. I'm gonna go home.

Dungeon:
WAIT. Don't you want to get your love potion? You're so close, Lucas.

Lucas:
Uh...not really, no.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[after Mega Baby falls down, Sarah heard something far away]

Sarah Doyle:
What's all that screaming? I hope Rachel's okay.

Brett:
Sarah, look around ya. You're surrounded by my amazing friends. This is Craig Makowska. Ever heard of Ruber Eats? Yeah. He was the one that combined both the words.

Craig Makowska:
It just hit me like a bolt of lightning. ZAP!

Sarah Doyle:
[to Crab Singer] That's the best musician in the world. [to Crocodile 2] The best 3-D animator, [to Chimothee Talamet] and of course, the best actor.

Chimothee Talamet:
[to Sarah] Hey, have we met before?

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Skull Megabilby:
Come on, babe, push, push. Push!

[Rachel pushes out a baby pillow]

Skull Megabilby:
Hi, little guy, nice to meet you. I'm Daddy.

Mega Baby:
Pleased to meet you. I'm your child, Mega Baby. Let's have a fun life together. I love both of you equally. Thank you.

Rachel:
You know, this is exactly how I picture my life to be when I was younger. I just never thought I was allowed to want it.

Skull Megabilby:
Babe, you deserve to feel all the beauty love has to offer.

Rachel:
F***, you're the best.

[Mega Baby falls down]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Dungeon:
Ooh, bravo, gentlemen. You have succeeded in serenading me. It is the key to wooing any female. Questers, the final step to acquire your love potion awaits you on the next level.

Daniel:
SKREE, BACON! BACON, BACON! [quickly runs up the stairs]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
Honey, I'm home. Slow day, so I came home early so we can cuddle.

[Rachel sees Skull Megabilby hanging out with another woman who is a empty bucket]

Skull Megabilby:
Oh f***. Uh, this isn't what it looks like, I swear.

Rachel:
No? Because it looks like you're f***ing cheating me with Bucket.

Skull Megabilby:
No, you know Bucket. She's just a friend. We were just hanging out.

Rachel:
Don't you f***ing lie to me! You're both naked! [kicks Bucket] F***'in b*tch!

Skull Megabilby:
I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I've been bad, so bad.

Rachel:
[tearing up] How could you?

Skull Megabilby:
It's just sometimes I-I love you so much, it scares me, so I lashed out. I'm sorry.

Rachel:
You know, I'm scared, too -- Scared of losing you.

Skull Megabilby:
Really? Even after what I did. Why?

Rachel:
Because with you by my side, I feel like I could do anything.

Skull Megabilby:
Oh, f***. I love you so much, Rachel. And I'm so sorry.

Rachel:
And I love you, too. I forgive you.

[Rachel and Skull Megabilby smooched each other]

Skull Megabilby:
Hey, babe. It's almost like cheating made our relationship even stronger. [chuckles]

Rachel:
Oh f*** off.

[canned laughter, applause]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Brett:
Hey, Sarah, how does it feel to be back home?

Sarah Bishop:
I'm so happy to be back home with my plants. All those shows and awards -- It was such a whirlwind.

Brett:
Oh, I know, but you handled yourself so well. I'm proud of you.

Sarah Bishop:
[looks at his Dad waving at her] Yeah, everyone keeps saying that.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Dungeon:
Questers, to escape this chamber in my dungeon, you must find the correct key to her heart. Yeah.

Matthew:
Aah! We'll be impaled by that wall of spikes unless we pick the right key to unlock the door. But, but, but, but which key? This is the key to Jennifer's heart, for it is golden like her glimmering blonde locks.

Crumblord:
No, 'tis this key, for it contains the green emerald stone, and my darling Cynthia loves the green emerald stone. Therefore, this is the key to her beautiful, big, beating heart.

Daniel:
[picks a key] Shiny, shiny, shiny. I like potatoes. I like potatoes. Brr! [wiggles his arms]

Crumblord:
Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, you and your random stuff you say -- I f***ing love it.

Matthew:
Hurry, Lucas, which one is the key to unlock the door?

Lucas:
I don't know which one suits Sarah the most, but more importantly, how can four different keys open one door? That doesn't make any sense for god's sakes.

Crumblord:
Pick one or else we're doomed.

Lucas:
First, let's see what kind of keyhole is on the lock.

Crumblord:
We're doomed.

Lucas:
[pulls the lock showing it's already opened] Wait, it...it's already unlocked.

[Lucas, and the 3 guys escape from the First Chamber]

Dungeon:
Correct. There is no physical key, for you are already the key to her heart. [laughs] That challenge was a little metaphorical one. Hee-hee-hee.

Crumblord:
Hmph. Good work, I guess. Cynthia, hear my words. I will get you soon.

Matthew:
Yes, good work indeed. By thinking outside the box, we are one chamber closer to winning our lady loves.

Daniel:
[repeated babbling] I love you.

Lucas:
Gosh, these boys are blinded by their foolish infatuation with their lady love. [positive voice] Good thing I'm not like them. [singing] La-da-da, la-da-dee, da-da-da, da-da-da.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Crumblord:
[sighs] According to my internal compass, we are nearly there.

Lucas:
Nearly where?

Crumblord:
The First Chamber of Doom.

Daniel:
[covers his mouth] Thank you, thank you, thank you, jesus christ.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
Darling, did you drink all the ginger beers again?

Skull Megabilby:
Oh, sorry, love, forgot I did that.

[canned laughter intensifies]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah's Dad came by to tell Sarah how proud she did]

Sarah's Dad:
Oh, Sarah, baby, you look so beautiful.

Sarah Doyle:
Aww, thanks, Dad.

Sarah's Dad:
You know, I always knew you were gonna be famous. Your Mum said I was crazy, but I always knew. I always knew!

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, thanks, Dad. That's really nice of you.

Sarah's Dad:
[sobbing] I'm really -- I'm just really proud of you. Love, you really made something of yourself. And I think that's just so impressive and admirable. I just wanna ask, like, li-- Will you marry me?

Sarah Doyle:
WHAT! NO, you're my Dad!

Sarah's Dad:
OH, F***! F***, I'm sorry! I just -- I just got overwhelmed. Your fame is really affecting me. Sorry, I don't know why I said that.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Dungeon:
Questers, to enter my dungeon, you must solve this riddle.

Matthew:
Oh, goody! I love riddles.

Daniel:
BLAMTASTIC, WEE! [tweaking like a scribbled drawing]

Crumblord:
Hm. Now we're talking.

Dungeon:
What has been stolen from you that you gave away willingly?

Matthew & Crumblord:
Hmm.

Daniel:
Tricky, tricky, tricky.

Matthew:
Oh, boo! This riddle is too hard. How can I give something away if it's been stolen?

Lucas:
And who the devil stole it?

Crumblord:
That's it! My darling Cynthia has stolen my heart! But yet I also willingly gave it to her. The answer is th-the heart!

Dungeon:
Correct. You may enter.

Matthew:
Warriors, we have passed the first test. I am glad to fight by your side. Let us go into the dungeon. [leaves]

Lucas:
Hmm. I suppose I can put up with these fools for a little while. Alas, it is all for Sarah.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[while Lucas travels the Scary Mountain, he met 3 other nerdy guys with hats]

Lucas:
Who are you gentlemen?

Matthew:
I am Matthew the Excellent. Here on the final part of my love potion quest.

Crumblord:
Damn all you foolish humans. Let's just get this over and done with, quick.

Daniel:
Caroline, Caroline, I will get my Caroline one day.

Lucas:
Wait. The mermaid gave you all the love potion scrolls, too?

Matthew:
Yep. We all just met 10 minutes ago in the forest and realized we were all on the same quest, too. And NOW we are a group of male best friends. Isn't that sooo spectacular? Will you join us?

Lucas:
I'd rather not. I consider myself a bit of a lone wolf.

Crumblord:
Hmph, fool. The lone wolf dies alone in the snow, lamenting the alliances that never formed.

Matthew:
But, but, but we must band together to survive the challenges that await us in the dungeon.

Lucas:
What dungeon?

[Daniel opens up the branches that reveals a dungeon]

Daniel:
DUNGEON, DUNGEON, DUNGEON, DUNGEON, DUNGEON!

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Lucas:
Hm, Scary Mountain is actually rather scary. Meh.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Cichael Musack:
G'day, Australia. And welcome to the program. Today we've got a very special guest all the way from Wollongong who's made the most viral picture on the whole entire internet. Please, welcome Sarah Doyle.

Sarah Doyle:
Hi. Thanks for having me. Hi.

Cichael Musack:
No worries. So tell us, how did you come up with the whole garden idea? It's absolutely genius.

Sarah Doyle:
Yeah, I -- I was just -- I just had this, like, vision, and I wanted to make a garden. So, yeah, I just made my garden.

Cichael Musack:
Well, that's so cool. So tell me, did you have any friends that may have helped you on the way, or has it been you this whole time just alone?

Sarah Doyle:
YEAH, like, basically, yeah.

Rachel:
[sees the interview of Sarah on phone] ALONE? What she on about? I'm the one who recorded her stupid videos.

Rachel:
[imitating Megabilby] Yeah, this is so f***ed babe.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

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