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Sarah Doyle:
[to herself] Yeah. I've never had something. This will be my something. I'm gonna grow a garden and stuff. This is a nice time to light my vanilla candle to celebrate this decision.

Rachel:
[far away] JUST SHUT UP, SARAH! I'M FANTASIZING OVER HERE!

Rachel:
[to herself] Empress Rachel. Yeah, that does actually sound pretty sick.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[when Sarah went back to her house after escaping the Sisters' backyard]

Sarah's Mom:
Oh, hello, Sarah. Did you have a nice night?

Sarah Doyle:
Um, yeah, overall, it was quite nice.

Sarah's Dad:
YOU SMELL LIKE CIGARETTES, SARAH.

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, i-it's 'cause I was at a bonfire.

Sarah's Dad:
Oh, okay, 'cause I was just gonna ask you if I could bum one off to you. [chuckles] I'm just kidding, Sarah. Calm down. [annoyed] Alright, no, I won't make any more jokes. That's it. No more jokes. If no one's gonna laugh at them, just forget about it. Just forget about it. No more. That's it. Say nothing.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Rachel ruins the Sisters' campfire]

Sister 2:
You -- You eviscerated the fire of Blue Ga!

Sister 1:
That fire has been burning for thousand of years!

Ian:
Oi, what the f***! That was our God!

Christopher:
Yeah, what the hell.

Ian:
That was, like, the whole reason we have the spiritual mecca.

Christopher:
What an idiot.

Sarah Doyle:
Wait. I'm sorry. I don't understand what happened. One minute, I was having a wonderful dream, and now--

[the Sisters' and Brothers' plus the other vegan folk pulled out their guns]

Rachel:
SARAH, SHUT THE F*** UP AND RUN!

[as Sarah and Rachel leaves the Sisters' backyard immediately, the Sisters then became serious]

Sister 1:
[manly Texas voice] Made off! Well... [spits] ...we'll wait for sundown and get the dogs to sniff out their scent.

Sister 2:
[manly Texas voice] Yeah, what's comin' for 'em is gonna get 'em. [spits]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[Sarah finds her destiny]

Blue Ga:
I am Blue Ga, the purple fire god. And you, Sarah, you know what you must do. You must grow your own garden. I bless you with the aura of nature.

Sarah Doyle:
Okay. I will. For sure.

Blue Ga:
Alright. See ya.

[after Sarah's destiny was over, Rachel finds hers next]

Blue Ga:
Rachel, you mustn't --

Rachel:
Where the [bleep] am I? Who the [bleep] are you

Blue Ga:
I am Blue Ga, the purple fire god. Rachel, this is your destiny if you keep going down this evil path. I shall bless you with the aura of healing to steer you away from this.

[as Blue Ga bless aura to Rachel with his finger, Rachel vomits the same acid of what she did back at St. Mary's school earlier]

Blue Ga:
AAH! Homemade kombucha vomit! My one weakness. How couldn't I see this coming. I'm a God, for God's sakes.

[as Blue Ga dies, Red Ga takes his place]

Red Ga:
Thank you, Rachel, for smiting Blue Ga. We have been trying to do that for thousands of years.

Rachel:
'Kay.

Red Ga:
You must keep striving, Rachel, for your destiny is to dominate as EMPRESS!

Rachel:
[making an evil face] 'Kay.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as the gang head to the campfire after riding on Snuggles]

Snuggles:
[to the viewers] My name is Snuggles and I cannot leave this place.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sister 1:
Everyone, it's time. Time for the healing bonfire of wisdom. Come along, everyone, onto Snuggles, our enlightened guide. The campfire is quite a way down the backyard so we need to have a bit of a ride on Snuggles, the creature I just mentioned.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Ian:
Yeah, I basically make my own kombucha. Grew my own SCOBY from another SCOBY It's a whole process. I can send you link, actually, on messenger, if you fling over your Facey to me.

Rachel:
Ugh, smells like [bleep]. Give me some.

Christopher:
Here you go. It's hibiscus elderberry.

[Rachel drinks the hibiscus elderberry]

Rachel:
Ugh. Frickin' hell. I feel...natural. [while showing a pretty face expression]

Ian:
Yeah, that's probiotics for ya. [snorts]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[while Sister 1 shows Sarah their garden]

Sarah Doyle:
I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life. Did you grow all this yourself?

Sister 1:
Yes, with a lot of love and care...and homemade fertilizer.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sister 2:
Would you like a yummy vegan sausage sizzle sandwich, Rachel?

Rachel:
[punches the sandwich] No! I hate that [bleep], and I hate you. And I hate your dumb [bleep] sister. AAH!

Sister 2:
Ah, yes, hatred. A pure and natural emotion, which I welcome. Well, if you don't like us, maybe you'd like out brothers -- The Brothers instead.

Ian:
Hi, Rachel. We're the Brothers. Commune Brothers. I'm Ian, the drum lord.

Christopher:
And I'm Christopher. Would you like a hug, Mademoiselle Rachel? Huggies!

[Rachel shoves Christopher before he was about to hug her]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[after Sarah sees the Sisters' beautiful garden]

Sarah Doyle:
What is this place? It's magical.

Sister 2:
Sister One, would you like to answer this?

Sister 1:
Yes, Sister Two, I think I can. We founded this little backyard commune back in 1972.

Sister 2:
1973, actually. I don't mean to embarrass you, but just to be accurate.

Sister 1:
Thank you, Sister Two, I appreciate and welcome you correcting me.

Sister 1:
It all started on a hot and creamy summer day in 1973. While Father was yelling at the tv again on a Saturday about the footy, we were looking into each other's eyes in the backyard, playing what some call "The Staring Game".

Sister 1:
It seemed to go on forever, and then it happened. We both said it.

Both Young Sisters:
Let's start a spiritual mecca right here in the backyard. [gasp]

Young Sister 2:
And kiss. I mean, yeah, no just the first thing we said. Yes, just the first thing.

Sister 1:
And that is how it all...

Sister 2:
[interrupt] Began --

Sister 1:
...started.

Sister 2:
-- Started, yes.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Sarah and Rachel sees the Sausage Sizzle, it was actually a hippie family with a beautiful garden]

Rachel:
Oh, this is [bleep]. Sorry, Sarah. Yeah, we can go home.

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, my god. I've never seen such a beautiful garden before.

[suddenly the sisters who made the garden showed up from the bushes]

Sister 1:
Hello. I am Sister One.

Sister 2:
And I am Sister Two. Thank you for coming to our backyard...

Both Sisters:
Vegan Sausage Sizzle.

Rachel:
UGH! VEGAN?! Seriously, let's get the f*** out of here, Sarah!

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
F*** yeah! Sausage Sizzle! Let's get some f***ing brekkie! I'm starving.

Sarah Doyle:
[sighs] No. I just want to crawl into bed and watch, like, a movie something.

Rachel:
Sausage Sizzle for brekkie! [trips] You didn't see that, did ya?

Sarah Doyle:
No, I was just looking at that tree over there.

Rachel:
Okay, good.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
I'm still mortified, Rachel. I can't believe our old principal saw us like that.

Rachel:
Oh, who gives a f***, Sarah? That b*tch is probably just jealous of our f***ing sick lifestyle. [cough, spits]

Sarah Doyle:
[sighs] Sister Morrison's right. We haven't changed.

Rachel:
Shut the f*** up, Sarah.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Rachel:
[bleep] I added so many [bleep] on Facebook last night. Look at this dickhead. I think he was a bricklayer or something. Had a pretty good conversation, actually.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[when the nun sees Sarah and Rachel passed out after coming from a party last night]

Sister Morrison:
What is going on here?! Well, well, well. Sarah and Rachel. I should have known this is how you were going to turn out.

Sarah Doyle:
Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. We had a wild night...partying. We're -- We're leaving now, though.

Sister Morrison:
And still hanging ar-r-round this Rachel, are we? She's a demon, Sarah. She's a demon.

Rachel:
Oi. [spits out purple acid] Nah, I guess you're right.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Sarah and Rachel got drunk and dance for fun in the nightclub]

Sarah Doyle:
Let's party forever!

Bartender:
This isn't even a nightclub. It's my house.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Sarah Doyle:
Hi! Uh, can I get a water? Thanks.

Bartender:
Yeah, no worries, love. Uh, that'll be $12.50.

Sarah Doyle:
Really? Uh, okay.

Rachel:
[slurring] Oi, come back to the dance floor, you dog! We're doing SHOTS!

Sarah Doyle:
I'll be back soon! I just need some water. I don't want to get too drunk!

Rachel:
Oh, come on. Don't be such a pussy, Sarah. Just have one gong shot! They were FREEEEE!

[Sarah drinks the shot]

Sarah Doyle:
UGH! What is this?

Rachel:
Dunno. That guy in the corner gave 'em to me.

Hooded Guy:
I did spike them, but it's only because I love seeing other people have fun, honestly.

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Floating Old Guy Head with Cool Glasses:
YOLO: Silver Destiny, episode 1, same show, different name or something. [explodes]

– YOLO (2020)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

[as Elizabeth have sex with a cloned version of Victor Frankenstein]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
No! I just can't!

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Look, I know what's in the way.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Yes. It's pretty obvious.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
But I'm not him.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Who?

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
The Victor you've been with for all these years. How you put up with him I don't know. He just tries so hard.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
You do -- I-I mean, he does?

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Yes! It's disgusting! He's such a people-pleasing, vulnerable open book.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Hmm. I'd like to see that.

[Victor shows up]

Victor Frankenstein:
Elizabeth, I -- Well, well, well. Isn't this cozy?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Victor! Come to bed! I want to experience this new you I've been hearing so much about.

Victor Frankenstein:
Shush!

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
HOW DARE YOU BARGE IN?!

Victor Frankenstein:
Sorry.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Don't let him push you around like that!

Victor Frankenstein:
He's not pushing me around. He's right.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah! I'm right!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
[groans] Yuck! Look at you two. It's disgusting.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Elizabeth, don't interrupt.

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes! We're conducting an experiment here.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
All this experiment is proving is that you're both incredibly self-absorbed and insecure in two totally different, yet equally pathetic ways!

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, yeah?

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah. Oh, yeah? If you're so perfect, then why don't you try truly looking at yourself?

Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah! You try it!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Fine. I will.

[switches to next scene where Victor created another clone of Elizabeth]

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
There. Your brain and eyes.

Victor Frankenstein:
Go ahead.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah. Flip the switch, smarty.

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Oh! Can I do this part!

Both Victors:
If baby needs his bottle.

[Dr. Henry Jekyll flips the switch on Elizabeth's clone]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Hello. Elizabeth, dear.

Cloned Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Yes. I'm here, darling. Oh, my, you look wonderful.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
So do you, actually.

Cloned Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Well, we have such catching up to do.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Yes. Let's get away from these men and their machines.

Cloned Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, yes.

[Elizabeth and her clone leaves]

Victor Frankenstein:
Now, how did she do that?

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah! Both of them! How do they just like each other like that?

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Who cares? Elizabeth's just a normal, healthy person. Now, you know what you guys should really experience? Looking at yourselves through me. That would not be a disappointment, I assure you, because I am a huge fan here -- Huge fan.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Polidori, you gouge out his eyeballs. Victor here will extract his brain.

Polidori:
With pleasure.

– Mary Shelley's Frankenhole (2010)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Frankenstein's Creation:
Why art thou easting in lonesomeness?

Victor Frankenstein:
Because it's the saddest thing I could think to do. Ever since I was a child, I thought nothing is more heartbreaking than someone sitting alone, consuming. So mortal, so... [voice breaking] pathetic.

Frankenstein's Creation:
I always eat alone. I can't bear --

Victor Frankenstein:
I'm going to bed.

– Mary Shelley's Frankenhole (2010)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Victor Frankenstein:
Hey! There he is -- Franhnkenshteen.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, god.

Victor Frankenstein:
Hey, so how's it going?

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
How's what going?

Victor Frankenstein:
You know, the, uh -- The whole experiment.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
None of your business!

Victor Frankenstein:
Okay. [laughs] Wrong side of the bed.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Trying to have a drink here with my friends.

Victor Frankenstein:
Whoa. Um...hi, fellas.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Look, obviously, you're making people uncomfortable, hovering like this. Well, why don't you go see what Jekyll's doing? [laughs] You two should have a lot to talk about.

Victor Frankenstein:
[sighs and leaves]

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
What a knob.

– Mary Shelley's Frankenhole (2010)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Joe Yunger:
So now you just know what we all knew the whole time!

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Why didn't any of you tell me that he was such a sweaty, desperate loser?

Wolfman:
But...he's you.

Cloned Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah. That's what's so embarrassing. At least I have a certain Je Ne Sais Quoi. That guy -- Phbt! -- Nothing.

– Mary Shelley's Frankenhole (2010)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Victor Frankenstein:
Finished! My perfect original regenerated brain and eyes with a speaker mouth and microphone ears, all ready to observe the identically original me, right here!

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Can I flip the switch?

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes, if baby needs his bottle.

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Wow. You took the fun out of that.

– Mary Shelley's Frankenhole (2010)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Uh, can I hold the brain?

Polidori:
No. I'm his lab partner.

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Well, it was my idea.

Victor Frankenstein:
What's that?!

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Well, I mean, I get credit for this, right?

Victor Frankenstein:
"Credit"?! You had a stupid idea. I give it life.

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Can I at least get a "stupid idea by" on the bottle?

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes. Now that's your first smart idea ever. Oh, and by the way, you can lick your own tongue. See? [literally starts to lick his own tongue]

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Why'd you ask me to b here, then?

Victor Frankenstein:
Because Ygor is sick. Now, can you please tighten that front-left tire on the wheelchair?

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
Come on. I want to get to hold the brain or the eyes or something.

Victor Frankenstein:
Look, we only had enough serum to regenerate these specific body parts, so not everyone is going to get to do the fun, science-y things.

Polidori:
There. That was fun...and science-y.

Dr. Henry Jekyll:
You guys are just jerks.

– Mary Shelley's Frankenhole (2010)

added by timothyj.29104
1 month ago

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