Search results for 'spongebob' Page #48

[SpongeBob arrives at Mrs. Puff's Boating School]

Incidental 27:
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, I just got my license!

SpongeBob:
[snaps his fingers] Hey, I'm getting mine next.

Incidental 27:
Hey, I doubt it.

[SpongeBob bounces inside his bubble boat and makes it go faster. A boat in back of the girls' boat crashes at seeing SpongeBob's bubble boat. Just then, a motorcycle cop comes by.]

SpongeBob:
Pleasant day for a drive, hey, Officer?

Motorcycle Cop:
Sir, I'm going to need to see your license for that, um...

SpongeBob:
[laughs] You don't need a license to drive a bubble.

Motorcycle Cop:
Hmm, I suppose you're right. Carry on, citizen.

[SpongeBob drives off with his bubble boat.]

[Spongebob completes a Krabby Patty and it starts jumping around the kitchen by itself]

Squidward:
Come on Spongebob, You know I don't have all day!

Spongebob:
I swear, I'm not doing anything!

[The Krabby Patty heads into the dining area]

Spongebob:
Mr Krabs! The krabby patty is haunted!

[Mr Krabs stabs the patty with his leg]

Mr Krabs:
Avas, ye patty pirate! This is no ghost. This is Plankton! Stealing me booty!

Plankton:
Hear me Krabs, when I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business! I WENT TO COLLEGE! [Krabs picks him up] Hey, let me go!

Mr. Krabs:
Oh, I'll let you go, squirt ... on a flying saucer! [puts Plankton on a plate and throws him out the door of the Krusty Krab]

[SpongeBob dips his brush into one of the cans of paint and tentatively approaches one of the walls]

SpongeBob:
All right, Patrick, let's get started painting this wall, with the permanent paint that we're not allowed to get on anything but the wall! Well, here we go.

[A time card reading "One hour later" appears on the screen]

Narrator:
One hour later...

SpongeBob:
[sweating profusely] Just a few more seconds of mental preparation, and I'll be painting this wall.

[The next time card reads "Two hours later"]

Narrator:
Two hours later...

[SpongeBob is still standing in the same spot, and not a drop of paint has touched the wall]

SpongeBob:
I'm getting to the painting...

[The next time card reads "Three hours later"]

Narrator:
Three hours later...

Patrick:
[pulls the time card out of the scene] Could you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.

[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil]

SpongeBob:
It's a jellyfish!

Patrick:
Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.

SpongeBob:
Huh! Everybody's a critic.

Patrick:
[notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life] SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!

SpongeBob:
[oblivious] Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!

Patrick:
[pointing to the jellyfish] No, I mean it's swimming away!

SpongeBob:
Do you know what this means, Patrick?

Patrick:
Your art can never hang in a museum.

[SpongeBob finds, to his horror, that his grill is gone]

SpongeBob:
Where's the grill?!

Pearl:
Come on, SpongeBob, you're a hip guy. You know fried foods are O-U-T, out.

SpongeBob:
[weakly] Er...right on.

[Spongebob hands Patrick a pencil]

Patrick:
Yippee! A writing stick!

[SpongeBob has backed the boat all the way out into the wilderness]

SpongeBob:
Backing up! Backing up! Backing up!

[The engine sputters and dies, and the boat slows to a halt. SpongeBob is seen clutching the steering wheel, his eyes wide and his pupils fixed]

SpongeBob:
Backing up...

Squidward:
Well, you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas. [climbs out of the boat] And you know what else? WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

SpongeBob:
[approaches Squidward with the pizza] And you know what else, else? I think the pizza's getting cold.

Squidward:
[mock alarm] AND the pizza's cold?! Oh, the pizza's cold! Not the pizza! [genuine anger] Oh, how can it get any worse?

[Squidward kicks the boat angrily. The needle on the gas gauge points to FULL, and the boat springs to life and zooms away, leaving SpongeBob and Squidward all alone in the wilderness]

[SpongeBob holds up two candy bars]

SpongeBob:
Look what I've got!

Patrick:
Rectangles!

SpongeBob:
Not just rectangles. Candy bars! [gives Patrick a candy bar] All we have to do is make them last the rest of our lives.

Patrick:
Thanks, SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now! [Patrick eats it in one bite and pauses for a few seconds] I think I'll eat it now! [goes to eat a non-existent chocolate bar and bites his hand instead] Ow! Wha...? [sees his hand has nothing in it] Where did my candy bar go? I must have dropped it!

SpongeBob:
You just ate it, Patrick. It's all over your face.

Patrick:
Where did it go? [grunting] I can't find it! Where could it possibly be? [looks up, sees SpongeBob holding a candy bar] Aha!

SpongeBob:
What?

Patrick:
You stole my candy bar!

[SpongeBob hugs Squidward followed by everyone else]

Squidward:
Could we please stop this?

Patrick:
Patrick itchy!

[SpongeBob is at the Krusty Krab crying in front of the grill as his tears drop down on it]

SpongeBob:
[sniffs] Gary...

[Meanwhile in front of the cash register]

Incidental 14:
Yeah, I'd like a refund for this Krabby Patty.

Mr. Krabs:
Refund?! What's wrong with it?

Incidental 14:
Oh, nothing really...except that it's covered in tears!

[The close up shows 6 tears on the patty]

Mr. Krabs:
What the...?!

[Back in the kitchen, SpongeBob keeps crying because he can't stop thinking about Gary]

SpongeBob:
Gary...

Mr. Krabs:
SpongeBob! There's customers out there, boy, waiting to be fed!

SpongeBob:
This wouldn't be the first time I disappointed someone who's hungry.

[SpongeBob is hiding in a dark cave where is body is morphed into an owl and starts singing.]

SpongeBob:
♪Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who? Who... am I?

[jumps to a cave mirror and morphs into a question mark] Who am I? [morphs into a pineapple] I just can't remember.

[morphs into Pearl] Who am I? [imitates Pearl] I just can't recall.

[morphs into a handsome man and imitates him] Who am I to sing this somber song? When you've got six heads, there's something wrong.

[morphs into five of his friends] Who am I? [imitates his friends] Please tell me. [normal] Who am I? [imitates his friends] Do you know me?

[morphs into a female fish] My name could be Clementine [morphs into Fred] or it could be Freddie.

[morphs into two SpongeBobs] I just can't recognize myself. I don't know if I'm ready. [imitating his friends in a barber shop quintet] I'm ready!

[normal] Who am I? [morphs into a male fish] I have a right to know. [normal] Who am I? Am I friend... [morphs into Plankton and imitates him] or foe?

[normal] I have so many features. It makes it hard to tell. I don't know what my first name is. But my faces ring a bell.

[imitates Squidward] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Mr. Krabs] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Patrick] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Plankton] Who am I? [bell dings] [normal] Who am I? [phone rings] Hello?♪

Caller:
Hello. To whom am I speaking?

SpongeBob:
♪I... don't...! Know...♪

[As SpongeBob's song ends, his face shrivels.]

[SpongeBob is instructing Patrick on how to remove a jar lid]

[Patrick flails his arm grabbing things randomly, to which SpongeBob responds by repeating, "The lid!"]

SpongeBob:
Freeze!

[Patrick holding on to the jar panting]

SpongeBob:
Almost there... Now head for the lid.

[Patrick, sweating excessively, moves his hand down]

SpongeBob:
Cold... [Patrick moves his hand up] Warmer, warmer, warmer!

[Patrick puts his hand on the lid]

SpongeBob:
You're hot! You're on FIRE!

Patrick:
Aaaah! It burns!

[SpongeBob is lying on the ground after the class tramples him while running out the door]

Mrs. Puff:
SpongeBob, are you okay?

SpongeBob:
I overdid the speech again, didn't I?

Mrs. Puff:
I'm afraid so.

SpongeBob:
[gets up] Aw, tartar sauce! I guess I won't be needing this. [takes off uniform] I hardly knew you. [frowns and begins to walk away]

Mrs. Puff:
[shows sadness on her face] Uh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
Yes, Mrs. Puff?

Mrs. Puff:
I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow.

SpongeBob:
[flies back into the uniform with a shout of joy] Thanks, Mrs. Puff! [walks away]

Mrs. Puff:
[to herself] What are the consequences of what I've just done? [sighs as she walks back into her classroom]

[SpongeBob is shown crawling into his pineapple.]

Gary:
Meow.

SpongeBob:
Not now, Gary.

Gary:
Meow.

SpongeBob:
I'm not in the mood, Gary.

Gary:
Meow. [the scene changes to SpongeBob's bedroom. Off-Screen] Meow.

SpongeBob:
[crawls into bed] Just leave me and me untied shoes alone, Gary. [Gary roars like a lion, knocking SpongeBob off the bed and onto the floor] Okay, Gary, you have my attention.

Gary:
Meow. [ties SpongeBob's shoes]

SpongeBob:
[gasps] Gary! Well, I'll be! You can tie shoes! [Gary shows himself wearing shoes that look like old-style bowling shoes, under his shell] Hoppin' clams! How did you learn to do that? [Gary's shell opens revealing a record. The song, Loop Dee Loop by Ween starts and SpongeBob starts dancing]

Ween:
♪Wanna learn how to tie your shoe? [the scene changes to show SpongeBob in a classroom wearing a teacher's outfit and on the chalkboard there are sketches of shoes]

It's a very easy thing to do. [Gary appears on a stool. SpongeBob puts on his glasses and taps the board with his pointer]

Just sit on down [Patrick appears in the desk next to SpongeBob] and I'll give you the scoop, [Patrick holds out an ice cream cone and SpongeBob gives him a tied shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe. Patrick looks surprised]

What's that? [the scene changes to show the words "Loop Dee Loop" in shoelaces and SpongeBob pulls on two of the aglets] It's called the loop-dee-loop.

[the scene changes to show SpongeBob's leg with an untied shoe] You gotta take a lace in each hand, [two SpongeBobs hold an aglet in one of each's hands goes up and past the screen. The scene changes again to show the SpongeBobs crossing each other's paths] You go over and under again.

[the SpongeBobs come back around under the cross path that they made. The go upward and past the screen. They come back and pass each other's path one more time] You make a loop-dee-loop and [the scene changes to show a small SpongeBob tying the lace of a big SpongeBob's shoe] pull. And your shoes are [the Big SpongeBob is shown wearing a top hat and giant shoes. He takes his hat off and kicks the newly tied shoe. It flies off] lookin' cool.

[the scene changes to show a SpongeBob multiplying into multiple SpongeBobs and follows the lyrics] You go over and back, left to right, Loop-dee-loop [the scene changes to show SpongeBob holding his laces while jumping] and you pull 'em tight, [the scene changes to show SpongeBob with a bunny toy] Like bunny ears [a present appears] or a Christmas bow, [the bunny toy becomes a bunny slipper and SpongeBob is seen wearing it and the present as shoes] Lace 'em up and you're ready to go.

[SpongeBob runs out of the scene. The scene changes to show SpongeBob jumping off of a tight rope wire swing thing. He stops and spins around and then falls] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [the scene changes to show SpongeBob and Gary falling into a giant shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe] And your shoes are lookin' cool.

[SpongeBob pulls on the laces and wings appear on both sides of the shoe and the shoe plane takes off. The scene changes to show the plane passing giant tied shoe laces. The shoe plane hits a roller coaster track and the wings fall off and it becomes a roller coaster car] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [the shoe falls off of the track and lands on the ground] And your shoes are lookin' cool.♪ [SpongeBob and Gary pop out of the shoe and the episode ends]

[SpongeBob is speaking to Mrs. Puff over a phone line while she resides in the Bikini Bottom Jail]

SpongeBob:
So, how's it going, Mrs. Puff?

Mrs. Puff:
[meekly] Uh, Spongebob? I'd like to... apologize. I shouldn't have passed you. You really weren't ready.

SpongeBob:
[quietly] So I guess I gotta give my license back, huh?

Mrs. Puff:
I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting a new class Monday morning.

SpongeBob:
[smiling] You kidding? You're the only teacher for this student! And besides, the warden says she'll let you go early, if you do her a favor.

Mrs. Puff:
What's that?

SpongeBob:
Free driving lessons! [laughs]

[SpongeBob is too busy staring at his driver's license to pay attention to his actual driving, and he crashes into a big rock and gets thrown out of the car]

SpongeBob:
[as he flies through the air] How could I have forgotten the most important rule of driving? Always wear your seat belt!

[SpongeBob is trying to think of what toppings to use for his sundae. He studies what he has in the cupboard]

SpongeBob:
Bananas. Cherries. Boring. Ah, here we go! Onions! Ready, Gary?

[We see Gary with a violin]

Gary:
Meow.

[Sad violin music begibns to play, and SpongeBob bursts into tears as he cuts up the onions]

[Spongebob is twitching in pain and has his head down on his desk after Mrs. Puff dramatically pulls one of his good noodle stars off the board]

Patrick:
Mrs. Puff, is it nap time?

[SpongeBob keeps giving Krabby Patties to the crowd]

Fred:
Hey! Where's my Patty?

[SpongeBob throws two Krabby Patty's in Fred's face; two more customers shout for SpongeBob, and they get their patties as well]

SpongeBob:
I'm a patty launching machine! [laughing]

Fred:
[takes the patties off his eyes] Thank you, Patty boy.

SpongeBob:
It was nothing. [realizes his launcher is empty] Nothing! I'm outta patties! Well, I guess I just better make some more. [goes into the tray and works]

Man:
Umm mm huh?

SpongeBob:
[keeps working until he comes back out] Fresh hot Krabby Patties here! Put a patty in your piehole! Huh? [looks at the state of the people] Awww... Looks like I fed my entire section. Hmm... [notes other people in the other half starving] Well, I guess Squidward wouldn't mind if I sell a few patties in his section. [goes over to the other side]

[SpongeBob repeatedly bounces up and down. Gary goes next to Margaret, who pets him. SpongeBob launches the soda bottles and flies around, knocking over furniture and putting holes in the house. After a burst of smoke, the house is completely destroyed. The door falls off, showing Harold, Margaret, and Gary hiding behind the couch. Empty soda bottles fall from the sky. SpongeBob, asleep, gently falls down. Harold and Margaret catch him.]

Harold:
Aw, the boy's asleep, all tuckered out. [checks clock] Well, our new avocondo should be ripe right now. He'll have to stay with us until he can regrow his pineapple.

Margaret:
[carrying Gary, skating away with him] I wonder when he'll really grow up and be mature.

Harold:
Hopefully not too soon. Am I right, dear? [Patrick, still in his wrestling outfit, runs up with a hot dog.]

Patrick:
[panting] Señor Peanuts Bag! I want satisfaction! [pauses] Or peanuts... [iris out pauses on him] But rather peanuts. [iris out continues]

[SpongeBob rings the doorbell and the same con-artist who sold them a bunch of candy bar bags appears.]

Con-artist:
Yes?

SpongeBob:
Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?

Con-artist:
I don't recall, but it looks to me that you boys have a lot of bags there. You two ladykillers are too smart to be without one of my patented candy-bar-bag-carrying bags.

Patrick:
We'll take twenty!

[SpongeBob rings the doorbell and the same con-artist who sold them a bunch of candy bar bags appears]

Con-artist:
Yes?

SpongeBob:
Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?

Con-artist:
I don't recall, but it looks to me that you boys have a lot of bags there. You two ladykillers are too smart to be without one of my patented candy-bar-bag-carrying bags.

Patrick:
We'll take 20.

[SpongeBob runs off imitating a siren, then a real siren sounds as a squad boat pulls up next to Patrick.]

Officer #1:
Afternoon, son.

Patrick:
[salutes] Hello, brothers! [points towards the cone that's on his head]

Officer #1:
[ignoring Patrick's gesture] Son, we're looking for the maniac.

Officer #2:
Have you seen this man? [holds up poster]

Patrick:
AAAAAAAH! It's the maniac! Take him away! Take him away!

[Officer #2 removes the poster.]

Officer #1:
Calm down, son. It's just a drawing, not the real thing. Now we are going to show you this picture again, and you tell us if you've seen this guy, understand?

Patrick:
Uh-huh.

Officer #1:
Okay.

[Officer #2 holds up the poster again.]

Patrick:
AAAAAAAH! Horrible!

[Officer #2 removes the poster, shocked at Patrick, then holds it up again. Patrick screams again. The officer removes the poster, looks at the other officer, and both smile at the idea. Officer #2 then goes through a series of showing the poster and removing it, and each time he holds up the poster, Patrick lets out a scream. Officer #2 finally stops.]

Officer #1:
Stay indoors, son.

Officer #2:
And take that cone off your head!

[Both officers laugh as they drive away.]