Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #219

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,767 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Meemaw:
Oh, why do you disturb me, boy? I'm busy!

Hurlan:
I don't know. I...I guess I'm lonely.

Meemaw:
Want a friend? [laughing]

[Meemaw turns into a typewriter]

Hurlan:
A computer!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
I'm here to end Helen's cycle of abuse, even if I have to beat it out of her.

Doc:
Who's Hel -- Oh, Helen. She's not here no more.

Sheriff:
Don't cover for her! You stand in the way of my peace mission, you're gonna get popped!

[Doc flinches after Sheriff was about to punch him]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
As long as Sheriff never finds his real wife in my closet, I'll milk the man cow and drink his cream for free.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[after Sheriff spends the time of his life fantasizing and whipping Hurshe who's originally The Reverend]

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
Sheriff...just out of curiosity, and as a matter of insignificant small talk, what do people say about the Preacher behind his back again when he's not around? I forget.

Sheriff:
Come on. You know this! Now, everyone says Preacher's a sad, lonely deviant who'll suck anything that squirts, and eats floaters with a knife and fork.

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
They say that about me -- Him?

Sheriff:
Of course! Oh, why you crying, Hursh? I mean Psycho Mike?

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
[crying] Nothing. Just hit me.

Sheriff:
All right. Give me a minute to get hard.

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
You wouldn't say that stuff to Preacher's face!

Sheriff:
[scoffs] Bet I would!

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
Well, I'll go get him! The next person to walk through this door will be Preacher again!

[as Hurshe cries all the way to the door closed, The Reverend comes back as his original self into the room while crying]

The Reverend:
[cries] Hurshe said that you had something to say to my face.

Sheriff:
Preacher, what happened to your face?!

The Reverend:
Helen. She hit me!

Sheriff:
THAT'S IT! Confront this bully! ...Soon as I get hard. [growls angrily as he ripped his own pants]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
Preacher 'taint' around. I always wanted to gobble some knob on his desk.

Sheriff:
Isn't that technically a sin?

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
Oh. Well, then, dole out the punishment. Hit me with this, and call me Psycho Mike.

Sheriff:
You're a special lady, Hur-- I mean...Psycho Mike.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
Hey, Lord. Just checking in. Uh, I've left you a message every day for the last -- My whole life! Maybe you could get back to me! You know, I'm thinking about ending it all. I'm pretty lonely. Okay. Cool, man. Talk to you later. Bye.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
[thinking] Where am I? I must have been knocked out. I probably tried more sick perversity against my poor husband, so he restrained me to protect me from my urges. Oh, what a sweet man.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
Hey, I got that kidney you wanted. 300 bucks!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

TV Meemaw:
Do not tell Hurlan I need him to get me...one of these!

Hurlan:
Were would I not get one of those?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Urethra! Who's the idjit now?! I'm one step closer to finding him -- That's who!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
You know about truth serum, right?

Sheriff:
I'd be lying if I said I do.

Doc:
Well, this right here is delusional serum. I can inject it into your eye's balls.

Sheriff:
Is this real?

Doc:
The doctor who sold it to me gave me a free trial first, then convinced me it was, so it has to be!

Doc:
And that doctor and I fell in love. Ain't that right, Helen? [quietly speaks to Helen] God, just say -- No, you say you're sorry!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
The truth is, I'm in love with another woman. But I can't get out of my marriage!

Doc:
Well, that's simple! Just fantasize your wife is this other you love!

Sheriff:
Does that work?

Doc:
Works for Helen and me. [quietly speaks to Helen] What?! Just stand there!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
Your rape kit is coming up negative.

Sheriff:
Oh, I know rape ain't real, Doc. "Rape, schmape" is the policeman's motto.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
Lord, cleanse me from my sins.

[Hambrosia pulls out a whip from the book]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
I thought later tonight, maybe I could give you a kiss on the cheek.

Sheriff:
I'm not a piece of meat. I've never felt so degraded! Your sick sexual urges are starting to scare me! You get off on that, you sick deviant?! You know, I don't feel safe here. I don't know when I'll be back!

[Sheriff leaves]

Hambrosia:
Why am I so dirty?!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
If we harness his flub-uppery, we reap the fruits of his bungle.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
[to TV Meemaw] I am telling you, It is the most significant task in Holler history, only we can't tell Hurlan! He'll just "fustercluck" it up the buttock. He's to idjit too be trusted.

Hurlan:
What? Trusted with what?

[Boss Hoss quickly hides the tv away]

Boss Hoss:
Nothing! I wasn't talking to anybody! I certainly wasn't having a serious discussion about a matter of great import with your Meemaw!

Hurlan:
Yes, you was! I'm gonna rewind you!

[Hurlan rewinds the videotape to bring the tv back what Hoss hided away, then there was another small button remote for the same TV in Meemaw's screen]

TV Meemaw:
There's nothing mysterious to see here, Hurlan!

Hurlan:
I ain't tater-brained, Meemaw!

TV Meemaw:
If you really weren't tater-brained, you'd ignore my plea begging you to don't go to my house to find my secret stash of tapes and follow the vital directive upon them!

Hurlan:
I'll smart you one better! I'm gon' go do do that! I'm gon' do-do all over everything!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
My brain is back. All it's powers! My rage.

Sheriff:
Hot cookies! Blow Hurlan into bits!

Hambrosia:
[growling] It won't work. My brain can't bear to see Hurlan get hurt.

Hambrosia's Brain:
Oh no!

Hambrosia:
Ugh! But I've got to put my anger somewhere!

[Hambrosia psychically puts her anger directly into Sheriff's crotch]

Sheriff:
Don't look at me there like that! Ohh!

[Sheriff's penis squirts out semen all over his face]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jordy:
Time to make the ketchup.

[cuts to the next scene, Jordy pooping in the toilet]

Jordy:
[singsong] I'm makin' ketchup. Freedom ketchup. So there!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jordy:
I'm gonna ride your mama like a bike.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jordy:
I'd like to hear the punchline of the joke you were telling the night they pulling me in. I missed that one.

Jacket:
S-S-S-Sure, Jordy. Uh, um, I believe it was, uh, "6 Million Jews."

[Jordy breathes heavily then laughs maniacally]

Jordy:
6 million jews! You hear him?! [laughs] Laugh! Oh, that was a good one, Jacket! Oh, in the hole for 5 years and that was worth it!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
What kind of pie is this?

Hambrosia:
It's just something I put in the oven to make someone care.

[Sheriff leaves out the room quickly before saying her response]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Jordy has an serious chat with Psycho Mike (as The Reverend)]

Jordy:
Nice digs, Psycho Mike.

The Reverend:
When did you get out, Jordy?

Jordy:
You mean, when did I finish serving time because you didn't kill the Sheriff who fingered me in court?

The Reverend:
I-I tried! But you know I was never the killer. I was always the mule.

Jordy:
Never had the stomach to kill...but what an ass for muling.Jordy: 'Member that time you muled nine balloons full of stolen condoms and all the hot tripe? You were an american muling legend.

The Reverend:
I've gone righteous. The only thing I shove up my ass now is the pure, uncut love of the Lord and smuggle it to the people.

Jordy:
No. You're smuggling nothing to the people. You're gonna kill Sheriff.

The Reverend:
C-Can't we just let this slide?

Jordy:
They rode me like a bike in there.

[Jordy seriously leaves]

The Reverend:
Maybe I'll grow the guts to kill Jordy. Or maybe...I'll grow the guts to kill Jordy.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
I tried to be a good leader, but I blew it! What do I do now, Daddy?!

[Hurlan unpause the tv]

Boss Hoss:
Stab your friends in the back. I repeat -- Do not --

[Hurlan pauses the tv again]

Hurlan:
Got it! No need to repeat it!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

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