Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #223

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,767 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Hurlan:
I'm having nightmares, Daddy. I wet and solided the bed...and ceiling.

Boss Hoss:
Night terrors, huh? Well, that's what TV's for. You just pop the tube's boob into the pie hole of your eye hole. Get your bone out and zone out! [echoes]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Grub:
Sheriff, they gone -- All my prostitutes and I know she set 'em free!

Hurshe:
Naw! Those poor things probably ran away, they had such a sad life.

Grub:
Ah, your just jealous of my fine brothel 'cause we cut into your sleazy beeswax.

Hurshe:
Everyone knows I offer superior product than animals. I bite harder, I yowl louder, and I don't charge extra to eat my own poo.

Sheriff:
Cha-ching.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Female Advert Speaker:
Looking for a discreet, sophisticated place to drain your balls? Heartshe Brothel.

Female Advert Speaker:
Is your wife, cousin, and sister a woman who is no longer putting out? Tape a treat to your meat and let rover take over.

Female Advert Speaker:
All our prostitutes are cage-raised wolves so they can't talk back, say no, or laugh at your slender nub.

Female Advert Speaker:
There's Trixie. She's not potty-trained -- She's naughty-trained. She can roll over and shake...dat ass. And if you make a mess, she'll rub your nose in it.

Female Advert Speaker:
Or Lobolita. She's legal -- In dog years. And she's shaved as the day she was born. We call her Vagina "Denny's" 'cause it's always open.

Female Advert Speaker:
Or "Sick Grandma" -- This big bad wolf will give you some fairy tail. She's nothin' but gums, and, hubba-hubba, does she bite.

Female Advert Speaker:
Or Candy -- Her snout is members only, and she just got back from Singapore, where she learned ancient Chinese suckit. Her gag reflex was surgically removed -- From her rectum.

Female Advert Speaker:
Or do you desire a deeper, more emotionally fulfilling experience? Then scram, creep. We don't serve Jews.

Female Advert Speaker:
Come teety-freak these shaggy she-beast all night.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Come on! Where's it at! Tell me where it is!

Doc:
Don't you remember, Hursh. I used your hymen for the surgery when I gave you a nosejob. You see, it was within you all along.

Hurshe:
You know I thought I smell garbage.

Doc:
Mhmm.

Hurshe:
I guess I can let Ross Headhe know my virginified nostrils are open for his business.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
There won't be a wedding after all.

[Hurlan suddenly pulls a ring case inside the front of his pants]

Hurlan:
There will be a wedding after all...

[all gasp]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
There ain't gonna be no wedding after all!

All:
[cheers and applause]

Hurshe:
There will be a wedding after all!

All:
[groan]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Ross Headhe:
That Meemaw milk is a miracle! I'm 83.4% healed!

Ross Headhe:
If you can give me some more of that health pucky, I won't make you marry my hideous daughter. [referring to Hurlette]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
Is something wrong?

Sheriff:
I, uh, was just thinking of a joke I once heard.

[laughs nervously]

Hambrosia:
Tell me the joke while I make her more ugly, more hideous!

Sheriff:
Aah! Okay. A Mexican, A Jew, An Arab...

[few minutes later]

Sheriff:
...A Coon, A Wog, A Wetneck...

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
You best cough up my hymen! I need that rascal back tout de suite!

Cutter the Vet:
I sold it to Preacher. He said he ran out of sacrament crackers and needed something real crumbly and salty. [chuckles]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jacket:
You look crappin' mad, Hursh. Tell you what -- I'll clear a spot for you to take a load off.

[Jacket starts to harass Hurshe by smoothing his goatee]

Jacket:
There it is. Mmm!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
I can arrange a revirgination.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Ross coughs up blood]

Ross Headhe:
I think I'll, uh, take a raincheck.

Hurshe:
A golden raincheck with chunks of beef stew in it.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
But, Daddy, I ain't never even kissed an alive girl before.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
The ugliness that was inside of me...is cleansed.

Sheriff:
I have presumed ugliness inside me, Preacher. It's quite likely I did bad things to a boy.

The Reverend:
You've come to the right tribe.

[then Sheriff and The Reverend head to do some Gaybegone Indian rituals while The Reverend brings his lotion with him he had in his undies the entire time]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Hurltopia is a botched abortion!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Hambrosia sees her tar-baby smoking]

Hambrosia:
I've spent all my time off condemning the world. I should have been right here at home...condemning you.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Day 178. Or could it be Day 3. I don't know I never learned to count. I named my new civilization, Hurltopia.

Hurlan:
I'm not searching for serious relationship, I'm just and Adam looking for his Eve.

Hurlan:
My hobbies include attempting to repopulate a planet that collapsed under its moral decay.

Hurlan:
I'm kind of a gym rat. Everyday I do 50 push-ups [snoring], 50 pull-ups... [snoring] ...and 50 jumping jacks.

[Hurlan only did 1 because the frame is 1 per second]

Hurlan:
The only law of this eden -- No meat, for meat destroys society by bringing about him-ay-sexual predators.

Hurlan:
If there's anyone out there, somewhere in the universe, please find me. Oh, and no fatties.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jordy:
Next time you try and kill a man and hide him in your rump, you better make sure he's really dead.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Peck-Him laughs]

Peck-Him:
What was that?

Hurshe:
It's called laughter.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
Doc, I think I may have a problem with cutting myself.

My Mommy the Crow (Doc's Body):
You're just cutting your way to the truth -- That you're the most special Heartshe ever and all other Heartshes are ugly and run like monkeys.

Hurlan:
I hate you, My Mommy, you betraitor!

[Hurlan runs away chattering like a monkey]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
Yeah! Ruin her beautiful, sensuous face, those "come suck me" lips, and sexy nose that makes you wanna betray your creepy wife and be with her always.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
I just consummated my arm with our love. Let's freak!

Hurshe:
Why the hell would you get a tattoo of your secret mistress who's also your wife's sister and who's also breaking up with you right now?

Sheriff:
You can't break up with me! We just got tattoos of each other!

Hurshe:
No, you just got tattoos of each other.

[Sheriff sees his left arm tattoo of his face in it]

Sheriff:
Aw, shucky duck! I thought that was your arm.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
This family, they have exactly what we need to help bail us out the fiscal hole we in -- A CREDIT CARD!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
United we will be stronger than the sum of our hollers. This arranged marriage will be a merger of titans. We'll be a Yokeltopia, a hill-adise to end all billy-opolies.

Ross Headhe:
And your fine boy is willing to get hitched to my daughter to unify us?

Boss Hoss:
He is so excited, he may wipe the dog dook off his finger.

[cuts to Hurlan smelling the dog dook off his finger]

Ross Headhe:
Well, then, it's settled. The Heartshes and The Headhes shall become one!

[Ross checks and sniffs his finger to see if he still have dook on it]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

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