Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #224

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,755 quotes total — keep up the great work!

My Mommy the Crow:
And when I killed myself, it wasn't 'cause of you, it was 'cause of some other stuff, like...gum.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
Where are you taking me, boy?

Hurlan:
Third base, Daddy, in the games of lovesketball.

[Hurlan takes Hoss' blindfold off]

Hurlan:
It's Mommy, and she wants you back!

Boss Hoss:
I'm having roasted squab with a damn "boid"?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Maybe I can play cupid and rekindle the light of his love log.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Meemaw tries to curse a bird]

Meemaw:
Whatever person is most near, speak only words they most long to hear.

My Mommy the Crow:
[mimicking] What a clever curse. You're the sharpest piece of ass in town.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
Recently, embedded Mideast war reporters have been dosing with huge infusions of chicken blood to frustrate their terrorist beheaders.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
We have long known that chickens can live for years with their heads cut off.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Mr. Glimmer:
If I don't see my child again soon, I'm gonna do this!

[Mr. Glimmer explodes himself]

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Mrs. Glimmer:
Last year, I let your brothers sandwich my business.

Mr. Glimmer:
Ah, yeah, so did I, Chaci. So did I.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
Police rounded up every pervert in the area, torturing them for information, which, naturally, the perverts loved.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Mr. Glimmer:
If he hurt a hair on her head, I swear, I'm gonna rip God's face off and ram it down his tip.

Officer:
I promise I will find your daughter, even if I have to kill her to do it.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doug Dwyer:
Why are you so good to me?

Roommate:
[whispered] Because you have such tight, pretty ears.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doug Dwyer:
Stop this! What did you do? Get up!

Roommate:
What's happening? Why are you hitting me? What have you done to me while I was sleeping?

[Roommate pulled a condom out of his ear]

Roommate:
What did you do to me?

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doug Dwyer:
What did you do to me?!

[Doug saw his roommate snoring]

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Roommate:
What are you accusing me of? I didn't shove anything all up in your ear.

[Doug shows him the condom that's been in his ear]

Roommate:
I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what it is. Besides, my thing would need one twice that size.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Roommate:
I was just sleeping, and I heard troubled breath.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
Our best minds have determined that the whole universe is a dream of one ant.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Are you a "My Mommy?"

My Mommy the Crow:
Of course, I'm your Mommy! And I love you and I'll always be you, and you're not a rancid goon.

My Mommy the Crow:
And that dream you had about a horse with a crab head would make a great movie!

Hurlan:
I know right?!

My Mommy the Crow:
And you're not drooling like a simp right now.

Hurlan:
[literally drooling] Wow. you mean it?

My Mommy the Crow:
Yeah! And you didn't just pop a happy squirt of diarrhea into your slacks right...

[Hurlan starts to squirt diarrhea into his pants]

My Mommy the Crow:
...now!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jordy:
You see, your conscience always mules in to get you in the end. Of course...If all that's true [chuckles] Well, that means I'm not real. and that, uh, 9 inches of beef was really 9 inches of --

[Jordy vanishes out of existence]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Hey, Doc, can you switch out my back bottom pooper, too, while you're down there?

Doc:
Sorry. I already switched out this dog's butthole for Preacher's brain.

[cuts to the next scene where The Reverend is praying while having the dog's butthole in his brain]

The Reverend:
My faith has been restored, Lord. Religion makes perfect sense.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
No! That's my husband!

Hurshe:
He's just threatened by female uselessness.

Hambrosia:
He's liberated!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
You treat that boy like a dog..

Hambrosia:
We turn him into a dog!

[Callyou turns into a goat]

Hurshe:
[to Hurlan] And you -- You ain't nothing' but Hoss's dancing monkey!

[Hurlan turns into a chicken]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
Tain't nothin' stronger than the love between sexless sisters!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Callyou:
Hoss be danged.

Hurlan:
Hoss be damned!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Callyou:
I have something to say!

Hurlan:
A talking dog?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

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