Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #241

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,008 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Hambrosia:
I hate to think I might win. I'm so ugly and worthless! If a nothing like me won, I'd just die. Doc agreed. I'd literally die.

Sheriff:
You mean you'd die? Like, you'd be dead... And I'd be forced to get to grind my widower's sorrow into your sister...till I spurt my grief away?

Sheriff:
Don't wait up for me, honey.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
I thought we'd spice things up today with something new.

Sheriff:
But, Hurshe, we already done did it all. Unless you wanna dip your Miss Heartshe crown in hog snot and shove it up your side door.

Hurshe:
Weirder.

[Hurshe pulls up a dirty condom inside her breasts]

Sheriff:
Condoms are a sin!

Hurshe:
What's your favorite animal?

Sheriff:
Well, you know I love poodles. I only blog about 'em every day.

[Hurshe's vagina blows the dirty condom into a poodle as a balloon]

[then Sheriff notices that there's blood on the poodle]

Sheriff:
Uh, sugar, you better see the Doc.

Hurshe:
I got a 'pointment in the mornin'. I'm getting myself all souped up so I can keep my streak of snatchin' the Miss Heartshe crown from my snatchless sister.

Hurshe:
[just to make sure] Who as you know, is your wife.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

TV Hurlan:
Meemaw, if you're watching this, it means I'm sick of Hoss' tapes telling me what to do, so I'm gonna take over Hoss's tapes with my own tapes so I can tell myself what to do.

Hurlan:
This guy in charge? He's too idjit to even make a TV right-sided-ed-ed.

TV Hurlan:
Me? You're the one's upside-down!

Hurlan:
You're upside down!

[Meemaw's face which is literally upside-down]

Meemaw:
You're both upside-down.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Clem:
I got one! I got one! Uh, Uh, Uh, A Jew, A Black, and Mexican.

All:
[laughter]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Say if, for example, just yesterdaddy, I decided that Hambrosia's gone too nutballs trying to take over, so I told her, "Y'all ain't never gonna be in charge, 'cause what you don't know is that Meemaw can't die."

Boss Hoss:
You told your sister the secret?! One of the voices in her head might leak it to the press! Her mind have the loosest lips in town. This holler is on high alert!

[imitates alarm sounding]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
I wanna change the name of this town. "Heartshe Holler" is too borin'. I wanna call it "Dare to Dream... of a world where you control your own life and not your mean ol' Daddy that locked you in a cave for 40 years and put you in charge after he died, but left a set of prescient videotapes that micro-manage your every decision."

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
Miss Heartshe, forgive me because my eyes aren't so good. Are you white?

Hambrosia:
Yes, sir.

The Reverend:
I rest my case.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[after Hurlan poured gasoline oil to burn Meemaw for her request]

Hurlan:
You're free Meemaw. What's the secret?

Meemaw:
This is the secret.

[another Meemaw randomly shows up]

Meemaw:
What are you doing?!

Hurlan:
I was just trying to kill you.

Meemaw:
Why would you try to kill me?!

Hurlan:
You told me to!

Meemaw:
Why would I do that?! I'll never tell you my secret!

[later, after that scene]

Boss Hoss:
[to Hurlan] [laughs] That's hilarious! That's how she told me!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[The Reverend throws his Dream Book into a woodchipper that randomly appeared out of nowhere]

The Reverend:
Toader! You see what you did? You destroyed my dreams.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Xavier:
Life is just death in drag.

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Xavier:
It's the drumbeat to which our spirits dance. It's only the size of a fist, but it packs a lot more punch. Some folks say its every beat is the sound of god kicking an angel in the face.

Xavier: Renegade Angel  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
You going buck-nuttin?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
So both of y'all claim to be gestating the child what has the mark?

Hurshe:
She's trying to steal uterus thunder with that wannabe baby! She's insane in the womb-brain.

Hambrosia:
You've had more nuts in you than my dog's mouth, you baby-hoarding baby whore!

Boss Hoss:
All right, now. There's just one way to settle this -- A good old-fashioned "Settle This Off."

Hambrosia:
I'll go birth up my baby, and if y'all could read, you'd read it and weep.

Hurshe:
Well, I'm happy to push out my pudding proof, and you're gonna eat a ass full of your words.

Boss Hoss:
Oh, y'all just gonna leave the TV on?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Bartender:
You gonna be a papa? What kind of daddy you gonna be?

Hurlan:
Well, my father wasn't around, so I don't know how to daddy.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
Your pop is in a vegetative coma. But with proper medical care, he could be upgraded to a vittle state with a side of corn.

Doc's Daughter:
At least I get some free corn.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Say it!

Sheriff:
I'm your sister's husband!

Hurshe:
Yeah! Say the rest!

Sheriff:
We are gonna destroy your brother, the mayor, who grew up in a cave and thus has no understanding of even the basics of life so you can take over this town!

Hurshe:
Yeah!

Sheriff:
Your brother is watching us!

Hurshe:
Oh, I like that.

Sheriff:
No, your brother is really watching us.

Hurlan:
What was you guys just doing? Was that wrestling or dancing? Slap casserole?

Sheriff:
We were, uh, playing doctor.

Hurlan:
Then I want to be a doctor!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
What are you doing up my wife?

N-Word the Robot:
It was just so lonely... at the top

Doc:
Good thing I programmed you with a termination code.

[Doc shoots N-Word into a bunch of raining coins]

Doc:
Honey! We're rich!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
Ohh, you want to get your nose up the dirt of the common folk, huh? Well, have at it.

Clem:
Ooh, look at that big shot standing in his fancy office, getting razzed by us good ol' boys.

Grinder:
You ain't one-aus.

Bar Redneck:
You're one-ayou!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
You -- You a robot! Do me a dance!

[coins jingle]

Hurlan:
I can't...I don't... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I can give you the deed to the town and the key to the city.

[jingling resumes]

Hurlan:
That...well, that's it. I ain't got nothing else.

N-Word the Robot:
Well, then, get out of my office, cracker! I'm the new Head N-Word in charge.

Hurlan:
You mean, I'm just a regular feller now?! Thank you, Bible!

[Hurlan leaves]

N-Word the Robot:
It's so lonely...at the top.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Bartender:
You got a lot of nerve in the gall on some big pair of balls for giving our Holler away. We've had it up to here saluting you!

Hurlan:
But no, I'm not one of me anymore. I'm regular like you now!

Bar Redneck:
If you're like me [gun cocks] ...then here's what I think of myself.

[shoots himself]

Cutter the Vet:
Ohh! [laughs]

Sheriff:
Damn, it!

Clem:
Lookit you done, monster! You might as well just pull my pants down and shove frozen hamburger meat up my butt! Go ahead! Get it over with!

[everyone is silenced and confused on when he said it]

Clem:
Ohh! Gimme that!

[also shoots himself]

Cutter the Vet:
[laughs]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
Would you like popcorn with that? Gumeenutz? Whychamasukitz? Or perhaps even some candy?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Hambrosia. Your bible thumpin' pooped on my coup!

Hambrosia:
Shut up! My little scheme didn't backfire. Your little scheme backfired. You ruined my plan.

Hurshe:
You planned my ruin by ruining my plan to ruin your plan.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

N-Word the Robot:
I am New-Wireless Organized Robo Domestic.

Doc:
Hello, N-Word. Why don't you start by making us a post-invention snack?

N-Word the Robot:
Why don't you eat the soup?

Doc:
Okay.

Hurshe:
Okay.

Doc:
Wait...what soup?

N-Word the Robot:
The soup you got free with that haircut, you jive monkey. AP AP AP AP!

Hurshe:
Forget that! N-Word, I command you to oust my brother from power.

N-Word the Robot:
Why don't you oust him yourself, honky? OUST OUST OUST!

Doc:
Now, N-Word , I toiled and sweated over you all night --

N-Word the Robot:
That's what your mom said as she was gobbling my digital nuts.

[N-Word does a pelvic thrust dance at him]

Hurshe:
PLEASE! My brother is a low-hanging fruit sucker waiting to be plucked.

N-Word the Robot:
Zzt?

Hurshe:
And you're being mean.

N-Word the Robot:
Hey! You can't talk to me like that. You're not even my real parents. I'm out of here.

[N-Word leaves out the door dancing while pelvic thrusting at them]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Wound: [British Accent] Blimey! that quite hit the spot, Eric. Benny: But my name is Benny. Wound: You can't fool me, Eric. You see I am no ordinary wound. For I am British. Benny: I think I'm going crazy. Wound: Nonsense. I would contend that your are... going sane.

The Shivering Truth  Famous Quote

added 1 year ago

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