Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #54

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,008 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Uncle Gabby: Ocean World, put your fins together for Super Tough Sex Girl Who Also Is Tom Boyfriend Of Obese Virigin! Super Tough Sex Girl: I'm so scary and sexy! If only I could meet a guy who shares my love of comic books. Although my body is perfect, his need not be! Super Tough Sex Girl: My arch villain, the Quarterback! Quarterback: Date me! Or I'll kill you! Super Tough Sex Girl: No way! I find your out-going social personality a real turn-off! Quarterback: Oh yeah? Take this! [Quarterback throw many footballs but she dodges them] Super Tough Sex Girl: Looks like this game has reached sudden death. [STSG squished Quarterback with her breasts] Teenager: Whoa, that show totally nailed female psychology! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Drinky Crow and Uncle Gabby head to Chop Chop Grocery to get a new brain for Drinky Crow] Asian Market Guy: Here. Belong to man live in mother's basement. Shamed by father for having female-like breasts. Unable to hold down job because of very sweaty hands. Die of masturbation overdose. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: I like being rich. [shoots himself] Uncle Gabby: I bought a mansion today that was shaped just like a lady's dirty part! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Lieutenant Vronchy: Bills getting you down? Sailor #2: Uh-huh! Lieutenant Vronchy: How about a way to kill strangers all day every day and pay for college? [Lieutenant Vronchy shoots Sailor #2 with his cannon splats Sailor's blood on the sheets that says "Join The Navy"] Lieutenant Vronchy: "Join the Navy"! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Ocean Fun World Lady: You know, your show would be perfect for our late night theme park, due to its whale theme and its appeal to our audience of bored teenagers. They have such short attention spans they respond only to violence, sex and self-referential meta-humor. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Ocean Fun World Lady: Excuse me. I'm from Ocean Fun World. That's quite a show you've got there! Uncle Gabby: The secret is the blood comes from King Charles Spaniels. [shows the next scene where the blood originally comes from dogs] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Uncle Gabby: Crow, you're gonna occupy people's minds with your awful story and we're gonna get rich. Drinky Crow: I don't know. Reliving it is really painful. Uncle Gabby: You got the emotional pain, Crow. You might as well make some money off of it. I promise it'll be respectful. [cuts to the next scene where Uncle Gabby opens up a show performance] Uncle Gabby: Hey everybody! Come pay money to see me re-enact the death of Drinky Crow's stupid girlfriend in the mouth of a filthy whale fish! I promise you'll cry and puke your eyes and guts out, respectively! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Uncle Gabby: Wow! We drank free the whole night! And I didn't have to chop wood or break anybody's knees or nothing! Captain's Daughter: [to Drinky Crow] You had a good story. People like having their minds occupied. Uncle Gabby: So simply by telling a story, you can get people to give you things? That's the greatest scam ever! Captain's Daughter: It's called "Entertainment". Uncle Gabby: Well anybody who'd pay to look at something that's not real is a chump and I want his money. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Captain's Daughter: So Drinky, what part was the awfulest? When you saw the face you loved scraped off by the whale's raspy tongue? Drinky Crow: I'm a little raw now. I can't say. Uncle Gabby: I bet it was when he saw his engagement ring in the titanic whale stool. By the way, Crow, you two were engaged. Captain Maak: Point of curiosity here, Crow, and don't answer if it's too painful. Do you think she died instantly or did her head and bosoms survive long enough to be burned by the whale's gastric juices? Drinky Crow: I can't handle this! I gotta go! Sailor: Aw, c'mon! I wanna hear more about your horrific, scarring ordeal! It distracts me a teeny bit from my own nose cancer. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: Hey, why'd you guys ditch us last night? Drinky's Brain: YOU TRIED TO SHOOT ME, EINSTEIN! I'M NOT STUPID, I'M A BRAIN! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: I'm afraid I did something really bad last night, Uncle Gabby. Something so horrible I blew my own brains out so I wouldn't remember it! Uncle Gabby: So? Everything worked out. Drinky Crow: Gabby! What if you got married or killed somebody or poisoned wells, or ritually circumcised children and got the ritual wrong? Wouldn't you care? Uncle Gabby: Not even remotely. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Alien #2: Just engage the laser cannons. Alien #1: I don't see why I always have to do it. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Alien #2: And now we go back to earth and wipe out anybody who might be left. Alien #1: I don't know why I never have good ideas like you. Alien #2: Your ideas are fine. Alien #1: No, they aren't. They're just the obvious ones. You're better at genocide than I am. Alien #2: Fine. Alien #1: What? Alien #2: Fine. You're not very good at genocide. I'm better. You're worse. Are you happy? Alien #1: You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Drinky Crow makes out with Joanie] Uncle Gabby: Crow, I don't think you ought to do that. Drinky Crow: Leave us alone. [while Drinky Crow humps Joanie with his beer goggles, he's actually humping on a pile mud] Uncle Gabby: It's not a good idea. Drinky Crow: We're happy. Uncle Gabby: Your wife's a patch of mud! Drinky Crow: What do you know? Uncle Gabby: I KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T STICK YOUR PRESIDENT TRUMAN IN MUD! Drinky Crow: Gabby, I didn't want to tell you this because it was a secret, but now I don't care. Joanie and I have wonderful news. Uncle Gabby: What? Drinky Crow: We're pregnant! Uncle Gabby: Oh, that's exactly what I was afraid of. YOU GOT THE WHOLE EARTH PREGNANT! YOU STUPID BIRD! Drinky Crow: That's my wife. We're pregnant. That's what you say -- We're pregnant. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: Honey, I'm home! With my old friend, Uncle Gabby! [Uncle Gabby sees Drinky's hot woman in his point of view] Uncle Gabby: [tired] That's really nice. Drinky Crow: Oh, come on, Uncle Gabby! What's the matter? Don't tell me you're jealous of our happiness. Uncle Gabby: Okay, I won't. Drinky Crow: Listen, Gabby. Just 'cause you never settled down doesn't mean that you have to run down everybody else's relationship. We happen to be happy. Yeah. Uncle Gabby: I'm gonna go. It doesn't matter what I think of her. [leaves] Drinky Crow: That's right. You don't know anything about her. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: Uncle Gabby, wake up. Uncle Gabby: Crow, go away. I had a bad night's sleep. Dreamed you destroyed the world. [wakes up] AAH! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: I don't know why she would have left me. Things seemed to be going really well. Uncle Gabby: She's dead, Crow. You killed her. Drinky Crow: Well, I'm sure there's some other beautiful girl out there for me. Uncle Gabby: Everybody is dead! You killed everybody! Drinky Crow: I'm sure things will turn out for the best. Uncle Gabby: You know what, Crow? When you were depressed, you were fun. Now that you're happy, you're annoying! Drinky Crow: Yeah, well, you know what your problem is, Gabby? YOU'RE AFRAID TO BE HAPPY! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after Drinky Crow push the button to world domination] Uncle Gabby: I don't know what you're happy about, Drinky Crow. You destroyed the world. Drinky Crow: Well, look on the bright side. We have a fresh, new start with these two lovely ladies. Uncle Gabby: Yeah, I don't think your lovely lady is doing so well. [cuts to the next scene where the old lady got burned from the explosion] Drinky Crow: Looks like that kooky girl wandered off. She thinks if she plays hard to get, I'll be even crazier about her. Well, anyway. She did leave this delicious buffet. [eats the old lady's bones] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[before Drinky Crow was about to push the button] Uncle Gabby: Drinky Crow, I have a bad feeling about this. Drinky Crow: That's 'cause you look at the world through crap-colored glasses. There's beauty and wonder everywhere, Gabby. You're just too cynical to see it. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Drinky Crow: Take this button for example. Before I put on the beer goggles, I probably would have thought it was scary and foreboding. But now it looks like if I press it, it could start a new, wonderful chapter in my life. [60 billion years ago] Alien #1: There's nothing here but dinosaurs. Alien #2: So? Alien #1: So, our job is to exterminate all intelligent life and let our race rule supreme. Glory to the highest queen. Alien #2: Glory to the highest queen. Alien #1: This trip's been a total bust. Alien #2: Look, let's just set up this planet-busting bomb and attach it to this planet-busting-bomb button. If the creatures here ever become intelligent, they'll be sure to press it, and then they'll destroy themselves. Alien #1: Well, Rob, you know, you come up with really good ideas. How do you do it? Alien #2: I don't know. They just come to me. Alien #1: You really make me feel like crap sometimes. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Old Lady #1: Why are you so happy, Crow? Drinky Crow: I've got a beautiful lady on my arm. Why shouldn't I be happy? Old Lady #1: Well, you're just making fun. I'm deformed, I got a prolapsed uterus, and I'm chock-full of varicose veins. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after Drinky Crow makeout with the old ladies while using beer goggles visioning them as young woman] Uncle Gabby: Drinky Crow! Drinky Crow: Yes, Uncle Gabby? Uncle Gabby: Let's get out of here before they -- Drinky Crow: [to the old lady] Wake up, honey! Uncle Gabby: [tired] -- Wake up. Drinky Crow: What do you want for breakfast? Old Lady #1: Eggs, lover. Same as you had last night. Uncle Gabby: [vomits] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after Drink Crow shoots himself in front of the old ladies] Uncle Gabby: What was that? I'm doing my best to warm those girls up, and there you go cooling them off. Drinky Crow: I'm sorry, Uncle Gabby. Those girls are scary, Uncle Gabby: All girls are scary. Drinky Crow: Yeah, but being with them makes me miss Phoebe more. Uncle Gabby: Why? 'Cause she's smarter and prettier and nicer than them? And they're a couple of smelly, stupid, old drunks? Drinky Crow: No! [pauses] Yeah. Drinky Crow: I want to lower my standards, but to make out with those scary hags, I'd have to lower my standards and gouge my eyes out. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Old Lady #1: Are you okay, Crow? Uncle Gabby: Of course he's okay! I've got to warn you. This guy is a total kidder. He always pretending to be suicidally depressed. [Drinky Crow shoots himself] Uncle Gabby: [passive aggressive manner] Crow...could I talk to you for a second? – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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