Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #55

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,723 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[while Baby Cakes tries out many different pizza toppings] Baby Cakes: A Jude Law 'chovy? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[every student get a dna testing lab to see which people like anchovies on their pizza or not] Pony: Thank you so much for doing this for me. Professor Cakes: So, uh, yeah. This is totally gonna work. We've gathered together an eclectic variety of anchovies. Go, science! Cravid: And we've assembled a great gene pool of test subjects. Billy: Uh, Pony, what if we can't find an anchovy gene? Pony: Come on. We will. [to Professor Cakes] Right? Professor Cakes: Oh, who f*ing knows? The brain is an impenetrable mystery. Pony: What was that? Professor Cakes: Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. W-We'll find it. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Steve reads Frank's thank you note for Crystal] Steve Smith: You can't say "Thank you for being my replacement penis". Frank Smith: Well, I thought she'd...well, I mean, you know she's transgender, right? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Pony tries to secretly protest Mayor out of business] Pony: Mayor? You work here? Don't you need to do...mayoral duties or whatever? Mayor: Mayor finds time for things that matter. Here. Set you up real nice. [Mayor gives Pony a free slice] Pony: You hitting on me? No offense, but you're old, dude. Your scrotum would be all, like, salt-water taffy in those machines. I mean, like, sex with you, I'd be like that machine that, like, stretches and wraps your taffy sack all over me, this way and that. Mayor: You high? You hungry 'cause you high. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Steve Smith: Henry VIII was an a-list celeb, okay? On top of that, he had lots of women in his life. Kim: Well, this Henry sounds pretty much like a womanizing pig-dog to me, right? Debra Bowl: Guys just want to collect sexual experiences. New girl -- Bang. New girl -- Bang. New girl -- Bang. Steve Smith: [clears throat] Well said, Deb, but for me, each woman has something I can fall in love with. For example -- Oprah. Students: [groans] Flip Flop: DAMN, DAWG. Oprah? You get on that? Steve Smith: Oh, big time. Kim: Steve, you're like a sweet type of pervert. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Frank Smith: Oh, sht. There's Crystal. [hides under the table] Steve Smith:* Hey, why are you hiding? You did write her that thank-you e-mail for covering your classes, right? Frank Smith: I did, but yesterday, I saw that it bounced back or something. I'll just resend it. Steve Smith: Unh, nah, no. You waited too long. Now you have to write a hand-written thank you. Frank Smith: [gasps] Steve Smith: No, don't -- Trust me. This is how good people do it, alright? This is how celebs do it. Frank Smith: Okay. I guess that makes sense. Baby Cakes: [brutally flips the table] OH, MY GOD! I WANT A PEPPERONI PIZZA RIGHT NOW! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[everyone in the bar arguing about the pizza laws] Billy: Well, this sucks. I'm exclusively an anchovy eater. Pony: Hold on, Transfer Billy. Let's get pro-active. Steve Smith: Oh, Pony. Don't get involved. Pony: What? Why? Steve Smith: Look, you're a half-assed activist, alright? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Mayor: Mayor here at the Church of Pizza. Listen -- Mayor got a new law. From here on, anchovy eating is banned in Mayor's Church of Pizza. Do it at home -- BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. Because in the eyes of God, the only topping that is right and traditional to be eaten on a bed of dough in the church is [echoing] PEPPERONI. Come eat pepperoni pizza at MAYOR'S CHURCH OF PIZZA! AMEN! Baby Cakes: Aw, man. That makes me want to eat a pepperoni pizza so bad. Ugh! Matt Attack: Town's crazy, man. Pizza laws? Pemsy: Actually, if you think about the sanctity of the pepperoni tradition -- Dean: Pemsy, shut your hole. NO PIZZA LAWS! Jetta: Pro-'chovy, all the way. That law sucks. Dr. Falgot: Law makes sense to me. No 'chovy! Jetta: You know what? I don't want to hear what you have to say. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Baby Cakes: Slow edgy poem. One time, a frost giant snuck into the queen's chamber and stole her one million tiny eyes because he wanted to make a new coat for his fish friend, who head her eggs stolen from her body by the queen, who only wanted something to put on her cracker. Baby Cakes: Oh, man, this stuff -- This stuff always make me...come back to where I am. Oh. Wha-- Right. What do I say? [gasps] Oh, I got it! [writes his signature quote to Pony's yearbook picture] "To Pony...all the best. Love, Baby Cakes". – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[after Steve and the gang killed the intelligence crows] Dean: I'll tell you one thing. You guys have...one thing that the crows didn't have. Steve Smith: What's that? Dean: I told the crows they should have put you guys in a cage and shot you with shotguns. But they wouldn't do it. They had mercy. You guys stepped up and proved you have a passion for teaching. Steve Smith: [chuckles nervously] Good -- Good job, everybody. Let's, uh...let's get back to teaching. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Frank gets worried when he sees all the scrabble words that resembles to telling the truth about loving Stacy] Billy: Frank, is something wrong? Frank Smith: Okay, I need to be completely honest with you guys. Billy: Dude, you're our good friend, so shoot. Share. Frank Smith: [inhales, exhales deeply] Billy, I want to slit your throat, and then I want to f* Stacy. Billy: Wait. What? Frank Smith: No, no. It's cool. She wants it. Stacy: Wait -- What?! Frank Smith: [scoffs] Come on. Remember when you signaled to me by touching my forearm? Stacy: Dude, I don't know what you're talking about. Billy: Hold on. [to Stacy] You touched his forearm? What are you doing jacking off his forearm? Stacy: This is absurd! I touched his forearm like I might touch any guy's forearm, like -- Like in the subway. Billy: So, you're jacking off guys' arms in the subway now, huh? I don't know who you are. Stacy: Ugh! Frank Smith: Hold on. We're just trying to line up a cool and easy f* here. Stacy: You know what? You guys suck. [leaves] Frank Smith: So, should we just split her tiles up? Billy: Get the f* out. Frank Smith: This is her house. So you get out. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Baby Cakes: Kirsten Dunst...I know what you did. And I love you. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Steve and the gang asks Professor Cakes' help to get rid of the crows in college] Professor Cakes: Okay, just -- Why didn't you come to me earlier? Just take all the doorknobs off of the lounge and let them starve in there. [Steve and the gang leaves] Professor Cakes: Has anyone seen my son? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Steve tries to scare the crows with an owl costume] Steve Smith: Why am I an owl? I should be a scarecrow. Sammy: No. Wikipedia says the crows are much more afraid of owls. Cravid: Go in there and start shaking around and screaming. They'll hate it. Then you can just leave -- [depressed] Like a father. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Crow: [to Pony] Mississippi Burning? Pony: Ugh! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Frank Smith: Okay, the next ad will go like this. Quote -- "If you want to have an affair, wear jeans and a t-shirt". Ron Ron: Let me ask you something. You really want to f* Stacy more than you want too be friends with Transfer Billy? Frank Smith: Yeah. Ron Ron:** She a thick-ass white btch? Frank Smith:* I guess. Ron Ron: "Guess", my ass. Stop being so vague and just be completely honest. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Baby Cakes: If my entire body was made out of penis skin, I would roll everyone. But then people would probably notice when my skin was getting all smooth, and they would be like, "Hey, man, you get in jail". And then I'd be in jail with a bunch of head-to-toe assholes. And then I would be thinking, like, "Man, I'm like one of them dogs" -- Them dogs with them wrinkles. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Sammy: Say, Franklin. Have you ever seen that Mississippi Burning? Frank Smith: [groans] It wasn't meant for you! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[while they're still talking about helping Steve getting rid of the crows] Pony: Steve, just f*ing fix this. Steve Smith: Okay. It's time to change a crow-lostomy bag. Students & Teachers: ... Steve Smith: Nobody? Alright, how about this -- F* the crows. This school is ours. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Pony: I can't believe you didn't care about me losing scholarship. You only care now because your job is gone. Steve Smith: Oh, well, who was all like, [mockingly] "Oh, they're so cute. It's gonna be like having a pet. I love little crows". [Dr. Falgot comes in] Dr. Falgot: You teaching that crow named Donny? That motherf*er stole my job! Crystal: I assume you're figuring out how to get rid of these crows, Steve? Sammy: Seriously -- Stop it...with the crows. Cravid: Sammy, I'm pretty sure that Steve didn't bring them, but he should get rid of them. Steve Smith:** Why do you guys think that I'm gonna fix this? I mean, I'm the yearbook's Most Likely To Not Give A Sht. Cravid:* Just like in every movie ever made -- The guy doesn't give a sht at first is best at giving the biggest kind of sht in the end. Crystal: Please, Steve, please. I hate to say it, but none of us can really make a thing happen like you. When you want a girl, you get her. So get our jobs! [Frank comes in] Frank Smith: I can't get this girl to tell me if she wants to f* or not. Crystal: FRANK, WE'VE LOST OUR JOBS! YOU TOO! Frank Smith: To who, Donny? Huh. I knew that motherfer was a wolf. – China, Il* Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Baby Cakes: Then Steve was all like, "Uh, I don't know if you'll fit in this car with all these girls, so maybe we'll just meet you there". And I was like, "Cool. I get it". And then I turned around, and like a vampire, I shot into space so f*ing damn fast, like a motherfing piece of god sperm waiting to hit a rock and start...life. – China, Il* Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Frank Smith: So, this time I need my ad to read, quote, "When you brought up Mississippi Burning the other day, it was confusing because you were with your boyfriend. If that meant you want a threesome, that's a different thing. Anyway, so next time I see you, so that there is no doubt, say..."Okay, I need her to say something that no one would ever say...mm...so there's no confusion. Think...Mississippi Burning...civil rights...Oh! Say that "the blacks were wrong". Ron Ron: You really want to say that? Frank Smith: What? No one would ever say that, right? Look, I'm just trying to get my dck wet, here. Ron Ron:* Sht, boy, you should said this about slammin' ham. – China, Il* Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Debra Bowl: Hey, there. Have you seen Mississippi Burning? Frank Smith: F* off! – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Steve and Pony sees the crow working something in Dean's office in progress] Steve Smith: Oh, Dean, whoa. What the hell is all this stuff? Dean: Steve! Girl! Come watch Mimey. This sht's hilarious. Steve Smith:* No, dude, why does it look like these birds about to be... Dean: Crow-fessors? [shows a picture of Steve and Dean in crow style] Steve: [high raised eyebrow] Dean: Okay, maybe we won't call them that. But we're still doing it. You haven't been training them to be new students. You've all been training them to be your replacements. Pony: Why? Dean: It just was a cool idea that I got. F* off. I don't care. Steve Smith:** [laughing] What? Uh, I know I am most likely to not give a sht and all, but [chuckles] I need my job. Dean:* They wrote an article about the crows in the weekly paper on how they're good students, so imagine what kind of amazing articles they're gonna write when the crow's are professors. Steve Smith: What?! Pony: So, do I get my scholarship back? I'm not a teacher, I'm a T.A., so I'm technically a student. Dean: I'm bored of you both. [blows raspberry] So get your sht packed and get out of here -- Right after you sign my yearbook. – China, Il* Movie Quote	added 2 months ago

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