Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #48

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,971 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Drinky Crow:
GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CHOP YOU ALL INTO BOUILLON AND FEED YOUR REMAINS TO --

[sees the mermaid hanging with a college student]

Drinky Crow:
[gasps] Stay in school. Winners don't do drugs.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Robot Drinky Crow:
Drinky Crow, I've been made in your image, but I'm made of weak, robot flesh. Teach me about my true self.

Drinky Crow:
I'm not in the mood. I'm in love with a mermaid, and she might not even exist.

Robot Drinky Crow:
She does exist! And I know where she is! She's being forced to be a decoration in front of the lady's room!

Drinky Crow:
Like Wicky Wackee?

Robot Drinky Crow:
Kinda.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[after Real Drinky Crow finishes off Lieutenant Vronchy]

Drinky Crow:
WHERE IS SHE?!?

Lieutenant Vronchy:
Oh, please! The mermaid, she no exist! They are fantasies, hatched in the minds of drunk, frustrated sailors who look at sea cows.

[cuts to the next scene where a sailor is in love with Sam Walrus]

Drinky Crow:
How dare you call her FAT!?

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Robot Drinky Crow:
I'm casting my lot to the seven seas to find my true self!

College Girl Student #1:
That is so sexy. Are you going on a real sea adventure?

Robot Drinky Crow:
Yeah.

College Girl Student #1:
Doomed quests turn me on. Doomed quests and guys who smell like my Dad.

Robot Uncle Gabby:
That's us! Should we degrade each other now or when I get back?

[after the two college girl students smelled the stinky stench of UG's mouth]

College Girl Student #1:
Uh, how about when you get back.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[after Fake Drinky Crow realizes he's a robot]

Robot Drinky Crow:
We're not real. I'm not even me! It's very upsetting.

Robot Uncle Gabby:
Oh, get a hold of yourself. Look, in the old days people could afford to be them, but nowadays everybody is some other guy. And often as not that other guy is somebody different too.

Robot Uncle Gabby:
If you need me I'll be in the kitchen testing out my robot Truman on some hitherto virginal sacks of lard.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[as Drinky Crow shoots himself, he turned out to be a robot]

College Girl Student #3:
Oh look, how cute! He's a robot.

Fenton:
This place is like Charlie Cheese, only less creepy.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Fenton:
Scotch and soda, neat. I don't trust the ice in this place.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Uncle Gabby:
You ladies interested in a B-M-O-C with C-H-L-A-M-Y-D-I-A?

College Girl Student:
[surprised confusion]

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

College Girl Student:
Hey cutie! Where'd you get that booze? And those cool sutures!

Drinky Crow:
Are you girls over 21?

College Girl Student:
No.

Drinky Crow:
Perfect! Go get your friends, and follow me!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Drinky Crow:
College is kind of lame. It's like a summer camp for boring, spoiled, emotionally stunted idiots.

[sees Uncle Gabby gone]

Uncle Gabby:
[to Drinky] Over here! I'm pledging theta house to impress chicks!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Drinky Crow:
What's the richest, most naive sheep-like, and booze hungry group of people on the planet?

Uncle Gabby:
Americans?

Drinky Crow:
American college kids! And there's thousands of them just up the hill.

Uncle Gabby:
Hmm. Sexually permissive, barely legal ladies with poor decision-making skills and little to no real world experience...you really think we should bring them to this bar? [realizes] Waaaait, we should!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Drinky Crow:
Sometimes I think I should have stayed at sea, and kept looking for her. But instead I try to make my life seem less depressing by pretending it's a network sitcom.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Lieutenant Vronchy:
I don't know what to do, fellas. I made dates with two different girls...on the same night!

Captain's Daughter:
Gee, I sure wish I could help out, but I'm too busy getting for tonight's big talent show! [while playing in a hula hoop]

[as Uncle Gabby was about to touch Captain's Daughter]

Drinky Crow:
Watch out, Gabby! The Captain is coming, and he won't let you anywhere near his daughter unless he thinks your gay!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Drinky Crow notices something on Elephant Man's organs]

Drinky Crow:
The growths have a single tap root! [gasps] And someone's nailed it to his heart! [gasps] And there's a finger print on the nail!

Announcer:
Elephant Mom!

Elephant Mom:
That's right! I'm confessing. I didn't want to ever lose him to a bunch of sluts, so one day after conception I grafted him onto a potato that I happened to have in there.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Surgeon Doctor:
Remember, blow this and our clinic will be sent back to performing necessary surgeries. For poor people.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Announcer:
Disgusting! The Elephant Man has sprouted chimeric tissue! More specifically, collie and walrus heads!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Surgeon Doctor:
[to Drinky Crow] Don't screw this one up. It's gonna be on the surgery challenge. That's on NBC, the largest network after Univision.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Uncle Gabby:
Hey, Crow, you're a fancy doctor and I'm still just a drunk ape, but could you, uh, do something for me? For old time's sake? Throw the surgery, okay? It really help me with girls if Elephant Man remained deformed.

Drinky Crow:
Yeah. No thanks. Somehow it just wouldn't feel right.

Uncle Gabby:
YOU'VE BECOME INSUFFERABLE!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Uncle Gabby:
I'm telling you, Elephant Man can't have surgery. He's changed his mind.

Nurse:
I can't help you. The surgeon has already washed his hands.

[Uncle Gabby rushed in the operation room and sees Drinky Crow as the surgeon]

Uncle Gabby:
Oh. Drinky Crow. Hey.

Drinky Crow:
Hey.

Uncle Gabby:
What are you doing here?

Drinky Crow:
I'm a surgeon.

Uncle Gabby:
Oh. Good for you. That's, uh, really nice. How'd you swing that?

Drinky Crow:
Well once I stopped, you know, drinking with you, and aimlessly wandering around with you, and living with you, I had a lot of free time. I returned to medical school and now I'm the greatest plastic surgeon in the world. What's up with you?

Uncle Gabby:
I got a dog.

Drinky Crow:
Good for you! You always wanted to get one. What's the little guy's name?

Uncle Gabby:
I don't know. I kept it in a locker at the port authority and forgot the combination and the damn thing starved to death. But we had fun.

Drinky Crow:
That's nice.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Elephant Man:
Are you sick of me yet? Like Drinky Crow said you would be?

Uncle Gabby:
No.

Elephant Man:
How bout now?

Uncle Gabby:
No.

Elephant Man:
How bout now?

Uncle Gabby:
Look, I gotta go Elephant Man. And I'm not gonna see you ever again either. And I'm gonna need my sack back.

[UG takes the sack from Elephant Man's head revealing the people at a bar]

Saffron:
Dear god, does someone pay you to hangout with this monster?

Uncle Gabby:
Nah.

Saffron:
Don't tell me you're friends with it! What an amazing and compassionate person!

Woman:
You're not hogging him for yourself, Saffron!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Drinky Crow:
It's funny. Sometimes I think I shouldn't always get drunk whenever I feel like it. That I should make a plan and follow through on it. Crazy, right?

Asian Market Guy:
No.

Drinky Crow:
What?

Asian Market Guy:
Crow's comment no crazy. Cliched perhaps but still accurate.

Drinky Crow:
Whenever I said stuff like that before Uncle Gabby would say I was nuts.

Asian Market Guy:
That 'cause he selfish. Also stupid.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[when Drinky Crow and Elephant Man were about to commit suicide]

Drinky Crow:
Gabby! What are you doing here?

Uncle Gabby:
I came to take Elephant Man to the senior prom. You're not the only one of us with stuff to do other than hang out with the other one. With the Elephant Man!

Drinky Crow:
He can't hang out with you! He's going to commit suicide with me!

Uncle Gabby:
Oh yeah? Tell him, Elephant Man.

Elephant Man:
Uh...

Drinky Crow:
Elephant Man?

Elephant Man:
Yeah...I might be going to the prom with Gabby.

Drinky Crow:
But you have to be ALIVE to do that!

Elephant Man:
He says if I don't get lucky with the girls he'll let me go with his sister. We're both virgins.

Drinky Crow:
Gabby's sister isn't a virgin. I've had sex with her for a coconut and a little piece of sparkly string! Everybody has!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Uncle Gabby:
Hey, Elephant Man. I'm your new best friend.

Elephant Man:
You want to be my friend too?

Uncle Gabby:
You bet those hideous [indistinct] I do. Let's go party!

Elephant Man:
I can't. I promised Drinky Crow we'd do suicide stuff.

Uncle Gabby:
Before you kill yourself you've gotta have fun. Just like before you leave a buffet you have to open your pants, stuff yourself, and ruin what remains!

Elephant Man:
You do?

Uncle Gabby:
Yes. And I'm funner than Drinky Crow and better than Drinky Crow and what's more I'm not a backstabbing little disloyal weasel like Drinky Crow. Heh heh. Alright, whaddaya say? Let's go find girls.

Elephant Man:
Girls? Really? I'll just tell my Mom. Mom! I'm going out to meet girls! WITH A BABOON!

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Uncle Gabby:
Hey Crow. It's Sunday. If we convert to Catholicism in the next half hour we can go to mass and get bombed on communion wine!

Drinky Crow:
I'd love to, but me and Elephant Man are seeing an attorney to draw up do-not-resuscitate orders.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

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