Wikidude's Quotes Page #157

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Mark Desmond:
Activate the cloning process.

Robin:
Pass! Batcave's crowded enough.

Young Justice, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Superboy:
Wha-what if he wasn't?

Kid Flash:
He can talk?

Superboy:
Yes, he can.

Kid Flash:
Not like I said, "it."

Aqualad:
The Genomorph taught you.

Superboy:
They taught me much. I can read, write. I know the names of things.

Robin:
But have you seen them? Have they actually let you see the sky or the moon?

Superboy:
Images are implanted in my mind, but no. I have not seen them.

Aqualad:
Do you know what you are, who you are?

Superboy:
I am the Superboy, a Genomorph, a clone made from the DNA of the Superman, created to replace him should he perish, to destroy him should he turn from the light.

Aqualad:
To be like Superman is a worthy aspiration, but, like Superman, you deserve a life of your own beyond that solar suit, beyond your pod, beyond Cadmus.

Superboy:
I live because of Cadmus! It is my home!

Robin:
Your home is a test tube. We can show you the sun.

Kid Flash:
Uh, pretty sure it's after midnight, but we can show you the moon.

Aqualad:
We can show you, introduce you to Superman.

Mark Desmond:
No they can't!

Young Justice, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

(Superboy is guarding/staring at Aqualad, Kid Flash and Robin)

Kid Flash:
[to Superboy] What? What do you want? Quit staring. You're creeping me out.

Robin:
Uh, KF, how about we not tick off the guy who can fry us with a look?

Young Justice, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[The last lines of the series]

Gretchen:
Hey, you know that there's always a possibility that someday I might leave my phone and keys at home and step in front of a train. You know that, right?

Jimmy:
[after a long pause] Yeah. But I'll move on really quickly. Like, record-setting.

Gretchen:
Okay.

[They begin eating their own and each other's meals]

You're the Worst, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Gretchen:
I was thinking I move back and we run the roller rink together. Don't say anything, but I'm serious. I probably have a new niece or nephew by now, and our family cat is not gonna be around forever.

Heidi:
Don't move back here, Gretchen.

Gretchen:
No, I know. But it's not out of desperation. I want to.

Heidi:
Well, I don't want you to.

Gretchen:
Is it because I ghosted you in high school? We talked about that.

Heidi:
You didn't ghost me.

Gretchen:
Uh, I did.

Heidi:
Well, you might have, I just wasn't aware of it. Gretchen, we weren't friends then.

Gretchen:
Well, maybe we weren't as day-to-day close, but we were absolutely friends. I have a picture. You were all cancery.

Heidi:
That was when I came back the first time. Everyone wanted a piece of that sweet cancer action. I took photos with everyone. The reason you never came to the hospital is because I never invited you.

Gretchen:
I don't even know what you're talking about here.

Heidi:
We weren't friends after eighth grade. You became a shape-shifter.

Gretchen:
A what?

Heidi:
I know you had family shit and you couldn't be yourself around them, but you'd straight-up act like someone different depending on who you were with, then pretty soon there's no real Gretchen. We'd be best friends on Friday, and on the Monday you'd look right through me. You're just not a great bet to invest too deeply in. Everyone liked you or wanted you, but no one knew you.

You're the Worst, Season 4  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
I am allowed to reassess my life. You have no say in it.

Gretchen:
So I'm just supposed to wait around until you think I'm worthy of being your girlfriend? That's bullshit, dude. Just tell me one of the things on your list.

Jimmy:
Okay, fine. But only if you tell me one of yours.

Gretchen:
Fine.

Jimmy:
[pulls out list] Okay. "I can't see having kids with her." Your turn.

Gretchen:
I'm afraid you'll never be successful.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lindsay:
Ew, books are gross.

Gretchen:
Here Lindser, I got you a book.

Lindsay:
Har-har. Here's a book for you. It's called How Not to Be a Bitch for No Reason on Sunday Funday.

Gretchen:
Oh, look. Here's one. It's called I'm Living a Double Life, and I Can't Be Myself Around My Husband: The Lindsay Jillian Story, volume two.

Lindsay:
Where's volume one?

Gretchen:
There is no volume one. You're just that stupid.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Freddy:
Your sisters want me to follow up with you. Apparently, you blocked their numbers, and they want me to tell you: A, you're to have the funeral; B, to make sure to scatter his ashes; and C, don't fall into any shit.

Jimmy:
Ah! Well, tell them: A, we're already having a service tomorrow; B, I will scatter his ashes, into the toilet; and, C, you're grossly obese, brush your teeth, and you're a whore, in descending chronological birth order.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Freddy:
[reading eulogy] "Ronny Overly was not only my coworker. He was my hero. He cherished his family, especially his son, Jimmy. I remember when I came out to visit Jimmy. Oh, bloody hell. This was supposed to be in the third person. Oh, well. Ha, ha. It's me, Ronny. I wrote this in pen, so I might as well keep going. I just realized Freddie has to read whatever I say. My name is Freddie, and I'm a..." I'm not reading that. Skipping forward. "Anyway, I did my best to love him, but he rejected me. I sent him presents, I visited, I Facebook-requested him. Anyway, I forgive him. Please scatter my ashes at the home of actor Tony Shalhoub, whose movie Big Night you and I attended together. What's that, Fi? Your sister just told me he's a Paki. Shit. Anyway, after the movie, you turned to me and said: 'That's what I want to do, Daddy. I want to tell stories.' And I said: 'You can do anything you want, son.' And so, you became a writer. I did that. Anyway, I hope you ditch that depressed girl. And I hope Fi is wrong about Tony Shalhoub. Looking at his last name now, it does look suspicious. Shal-houb. Cheers."

Jimmy:
Excuse me! Excuse me. We are not done. First of all, he is a liar! I begged him to take me to Big Night so that we could bond, but instead, he went to D3: The Mighty Ducks, and I watched Big Night alone. Then his movie was shorter, he forgot that I was with him, so he left without me. For him to claim that he was rejected after 18 years of constant rejection on his part is crazy!

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Edgar:
You got me in with the pot people. They're the worst people. Worse than people who study abroad or atheists or...

Gretchen:
Ooh, what about children of celebrities who pretend that it didn't help their careers.

Edgar:
These pot activists leech off of people with legitimate problems in order to further their agenda, which is just getting high! Why did you make me do this?!

Gretchen:
I was looking out for your best interests.

Edgar:
Yeah, well, I'm done with Dr. Weed.

Gretchen:
Hey! If I quit every time my mother pushed me to do something hard, I wouldn't have... I-I... Okay, well, I guess I did quit eventually to start doing drugs and having unprotected sex with college boys. But the point...

Edgar:
No! No more advice! I hate you.

Gretchen:
[as Edgar leaves] I was only trying to fill your...

Jimmy:
[entering] Look what I made! I went to Kinko's. Talked to some undergrads making a 'zine. It's a lovely place. Anyway, turns out I've been living my entire life in opposition to my father. And now that he's dead, I have no idea who I really am. Am I even a writer? Who knows? Maybe I'm meant to be a master carpenter/tree-house architect/singer-songwriter. Anyways, although my zoo animals are likely dead or escaped, I'd like to thank you for taking that router and forcing me to explore the world. Okay. I'm gonna go into the backyard and test some branches for load-bearing capacity.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Gretchen:
Anyway, I-I don't want you to cream your jeans or anything 'cause I know they're your only pair, but maybe my mom wasn't so great.

Justina:
Seriously? What, did you hack my e-mail?

Gretchen:
I mean, the pressure made me rad, but have you ever slept with no sheets? So scratchy. [Looks at Justina's patient] Five out of ten. Would bang.

Justina:
Yup, that's her.

Gretchen:
Actually, that was the first time I fell into a depression. It was after a tennis match and I had won, but not by enough, 'cause it was never enough. And my mom was doing this... this food-withholding thing. I think she saw something about it on a TV show as a way to control your dog or something.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Vernon:
I'm thirsty. I ate too many Blammos and I spat on these ants too much. You got any water? I drank all my sodas.

Paul:
No.

Vernon:
I hear a creek.

Paul:
You can't drink creek water. It's not safe.

Vernon:
Nah, I can't get sick. To build my immune system, I lick weird stuff at the hospital all the time. In surg, they say scrub up, I just fake go through the motions. Come on.

Paul:
That's to protect the patients.

Vernon:
Agree to disagree.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Paul:
Never thought squirrel could be so delicious.

Vernon:
Nuts are high in protein and fat. Makes for tender flesh. People forget I'm a doctor and I know shit. Hey. Check out his little squirrel dick. You dare me to flick it?

Paul:
Ugh.

Vernon:
I didn't know we'd get lost. I was just trying to buy more time. You don't understand. It's a nightmare over there. Becca makes me wear full pajamas so our skins don't touch.

Paul:
Lindsay may have stabbed me intentionally.

Vernon:
I only get 20% of the TiVo. And Becca's always erasing my shows "accidentally." I missed all last season of The Librarians.

Paul:
Lindsay orders takeout for one. One time I took a French fry, and she made me give her a dollar even though it was on my credit card.

Vernon:
Becca once held my head in the toilet for a minute when I forgot to flush a duke.

Paul:
Lindsey's cucking me.

Vernon:
Yeah, no kidding.

Paul:
No, seriously. That guy I mentioned earlier, Raul, he's her bull.

Vernon:
What? Whoa. What? So he porks her and you have to watch? What? Damn, that's crazy! Jesus, why doesn't anything cool ever happen to me?

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lindsay:
[outside a women's health center] So then I heated up the condom in the microwave and I got a turkey baster.

Protester:
Wait, I need you to back up.

Lindsay:
Okay, so I wanted a popsicle...

Gretchen:
Lindsay, do not let those pro-life assholes talk you out of your legal right!

Lindsay:
It's okay. I was already having second thoughts before this nice lady came over.

Gretchen:
What, why?

Lindsay:
If Paul and I get divorced, I'm not gonna have a family anymore. Family. Name one family that's just one person.

Gretchen:
Suddenly Susan. Listen, I know that becoming a real human being is a scary thing, but I'll help you. I got your back always.

Lindsay:
Thanks, Gretch. All right. I'm ready.

Gretchen:
Bam, nice try, terrorists. Another victory for women's rights.

Protester:
Actually, I was gonna tell her to do it. In my book, there are extenuating circumstances--rape, incest, and whatever this is.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
I did what you said. I looked at my life from an outside perspective.

Gretchen:
Yeah. Doesn't it feel great?

Jimmy:
No, it was terrifying. I didn't recognize any of it.

Gretchen:
What?

Jimmy:
I don't recognize my life. I don't know whether I made any of the right decisions. Everything could be wrong.

Gretchen:
Everything?

[Gretchen points at herself]

Jimmy:
Everything.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Both looking at a picture of Vernon and Becca's newborn baby]

Gretchen:
It looks like the fox in the Nine Inch Nails video that's being eaten by ants.

Jimmy:
It looks like it should be screaming at an old lady in an Aphex Twin video.

Gretchen:
Why is its face so swollen? Did Becca give birth directly over a beehive?

Jimmy:
Even at an illegal baby mill, they'd be like, "Yeah, that's okay. We're good."

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Gretchen:
So, I forgot to tell you, I had sex with that dummy Ty.

Lindsay:
[excitedly throwing clothes, which land on a model] WHAT?!

Gretchen:
And then, later that same day, I boned his best friend.

Lindsay:
[throwing more clothes] WHAT?!

Model:
Should I try a walk, or...

Lindsay:
Shut up!

Gretchen:
Plus, he's married, so it can't be a thing. That's right--two guys in a row, just like senior prom.

You're the Worst, Season 4  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
You know, I almost texted Gretchen again earlier.

Edgar:
Jimmy!

Jimmy:
No, I didn't do it. I wrote about a hundred drafts, but couldn't get it right. Probably for the best, you know. Out of sight, out of...

[Gretchen bursts into the house, running and stopping abruptly upon seeing Jimmy, who stands up. She slowly steps up to where she is standing over him.]

Gretchen:
HEY! DOT DOT DOT!

You're the Worst, Season 4  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Edgar:
Maybe she’s not texting you because she knows the only reason you’re checking in is to make yourself feel better. Yeah, maybe Gretchen wants to get on with her life and never think about you again. Maybe she thought you were dead, Jimmy. Checking tips on the hotline, coming home night after night to an empty house with only your scent on your pillow to cling to for comfort, until it too faded away and she was left all alone with nobody to make breakfast ramen for, alone with nothing but her scentless pillows and haunted thoughts of all the friends she lost in the war.

You're the Worst, Season 4  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
The world is absolutely lousy with people, and I hate them all. I hate everyone but you.

Gretchen:
Yeah. I hate everyone else, too. Now, let's look for clues.

Jimmy:
You did something really horrible for us. You went to therapy, and for me you did this. And thus, you deserve as grand a gesture in return. And since I am 100% psychologically sound and do not need therapy of any kind...[kneels and pulls out a ring] Gretchen, extraordinary, confounding Gretchen, she who emits more energy than a dying galaxy, despite not washing her legs, together we transcend the mundanity down there. Separate, it shall eventually consume us and turn us as mundane as them, and to allow that to happen simply because we were scared would be a criminal act.

Gretchen:
Wait, but the murder?

Jimmy:
I made it up.

Gretchen:
The article? The Twitter account?

Jimmy:
Me.

Gretchen:
The DUI checkpoint?

Jimmy:
Oh, no. That was real. No, we were way lucky on that one.

[Gretchen kisses Jimmy]

Gretchen:
Jimmy, yeah... Wait. You haven't actually asked yet. I am not doing that again.

Jimmy:
Will you marry me?

Gretchen:
Yes! [Jimmy puts the ring on her finger] You made a murder for me! Hey, uh, you ever boned down during the Hollywood Bowl fireworks?

Jimmy:
I mean, of course.

Gretchen:
Yeah, me, too, but not as an engaged person.

Jimmy:
I'll get us a hoodie from the car to lie on.

Gretchen:
Hurry back. This fits, you know? You lost your dad, but you gained me. We're a family. [Jimmy's smile fades] That's pretty cool, right? We're no longer just whatever we were. We're no longer just us. We're a family now.

[Jimmy takes a hoodie out of the car, then gets inside and drives away]

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
Sometimes I look at you and I think, "How did this person get in my house?" It's like I've lost the thread of a novel, and all of a sudden, there's this messy short woman who's clearly important to the story. So, I'm flipping back, thinking, "I don't remember that character being introduced."

Gretchen:
Tell me about it! Some days it's like I un-blacked out from a week-long bender, and now I'm in this weird-ass house with sharp corners.

Jimmy:
My mate was supposed to be so different. Classy, unbruised, a first-chair violinist for the Philharmonic. God, can you imagine it? Me in the wings of Disney Hall. And we wave good-bye to the other musicians, and I joke about what a drag it must be for Igor to haul that double bass home. And then Dudamel does a champagne spit-take and shakes his head at me like, "Oh, Jimmy, you are too much."

Gretchen:
How am I not arm candy for some international movie star with a giant dong? He's part owner of a cool tech company and invents apps when he's not dick-punching Peter Sarsgaard in his latest movie. Sometimes we talk about adopting a kid from a third-world country, but we never do it. And we live in a legit-ass castle in Malibu with one of those big modern art pieces by the guy who does the big dots.

Jimmy:
What? Lichtenstein?

Gretchen:
Yeah. A big old Lichtenstein.

Jimmy:
Wow. How very sophomore year art history of you. You definitely shouldn't decorate your own house.

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
Last night, you said that I would never be successful. Well, I stayed up all night and wrote 35 amazing pages just to spite you. So, ha! Consider yourself thoroughly spited. Ha!

Gretchen:
Cool. Okay, I take back the thing I said. You will be successful.

Jimmy:
Thank you!

Gretchen:
Now it's your turn.

Jimmy:
I'm proud of me, too.

Gretchen:
No, Jimmy! It's your turn to take back the mega-harsh thing you said to me. And then, voila, everything goes back to Normal Town, et cetera, et cetera... a little makeup boneage. Maybe some titty massages for Jimmy.

Jimmy:
Wait, what exactly am I meant to take back?

Gretchen:
[imitating]: "I can't see myself having kids with her."

Jimmy:
Oh, that. No, I'm 100% sticking by that. Hey, can we do this titty massage on the patio? I just want to keep an eye on the hummingbird feeder.

Gretchen:
Jimmy!

Jimmy:
You have dropped eight iPhones in the last year, one into a vat of ranch at Souplantation. Child-rearing requires skill. It's not the same as binge-watching a season of Exemplify.

Gretchen:
Oh, my God, that is so sexist and mansplainy! You a Gamergater? Am I living with a Gamergater?

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Adam enters the living room, holding a steering wheel]

Valerie:
Adam! How was the job at the car wash today, dear?

Adam:
It's not fair! You'd think they'd have promoted me!

Valerie:
Oh, no, what happened, dear?

Adam:
You see, there was this Mercedes with an electric sunroof. I accidentally pushed the button to open the sunroof just as it was going into the car wash. You think they'd realized I'd just shown them a way to clean the inside of the car as the same time of the outside. But, no, no... first they yell at me, then they fire me.

You Can't Do That on Television, Season 7 (1986)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jimmy:
Dorothy's crying. It's very mucous-y.

Gretchen:
Lindsay's just reciting the spoken word parts of Lemonade.

Jimmy:
Such idiots.

Gretchen:
We're no better than them.

Jimmy:
Oh, speak for yourself. I'm not the one who flung my sandwich like a upset chimp at the zoo.

Gretchen:
I threw it because I realized I was living with an uptight dildo whose personality unmakes itself anytime something bad happens.

Jimmy:
Says the woman who spent weeks catatonic on the couch in crusty yoga pants.

Gretchen:
I have a clinical goddamn illness!

Jimmy:
Oh, right. So you just win because your condition is listed in the DSM?

Gretchen:
No! I win because I am doing something about it. You're just lashing out and putting me under a microscope!

Jimmy:
It just happened! He just died. Right, I am still grieving, Gretchen. Jesus Christ!

Gretchen:
But I was there first!

Jimmy:
Where?!

Gretchen:
Here! In shit, miserable! There just isn't room for you to be broken right now, too.

Jimmy:
Oh, that... that is complete... How is that okay?

Gretchen:
It's not. It is completely unfair.

Jimmy:
No. This is not supposed to... One person is supposed to be in the hospital bed. And then the other uncomfortably sleeping on that little couch, just sneaking home to shower and... and walk the dog.

Gretchen:
Right? Right, Jimmy. And yet...

You're the Worst, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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