Wikidude's Quotes Page #194

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Jim:
Yeah, Julian? Jim Lahey here. Yeah, Public Idiot No. 1 has gone one step too far. We're in the eye of a shiticane here, Julian.

Ricky:
(attempts to take the phone out of Jim's hand) Give me the fuckin' phone.

Jim:
Ricky is a low-shit system.

(Ricky takes the phone out of Jim's hand)

Ricky:
Julian, this is Ricky. Lahey's snooping around my fuckin'- Ah, this fuckin' thing. (throws the phone)

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Alex is in his dressing room, playing Red Barchetta]

Ricky:
What the fuck are you doing wearing my clothes?

Alex Lifeson:
Oh, not this asshole again! What are you doing with my clothes?! (to Julian) I thought we had a deal here! No cops?

Ricky:
Just give me back my fuckin' clothes.

[Randy walks into the room and sees Ricky, Julian and Bubbles]

Randy:
Alex, we're on in four...

Alex Lifeson:
Oh, great.

Randy:
I'm friggin' tellin'!

[Randy runs out of the room]

Ricky:
You fuckin' asshole!

Randy:
Mr. Lahey! Bubbles, Julian and Ricky snuck back in!

Ricky:
Fuckin' dicks...

Alex Lifeson:
Guys, please. Gimme a break, here. I gotta get back on stage, I gotta get out of these stupid track pants and into my clothes right now!

Ricky:
What the fuck's wrong with track pants?

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[The boys walk to a manhole wearing garbage bags]

Ricky:
This is fucked up, Julian.

Julian:
Look boys, I'm sorry, alright? The security's a little tight. This'll be fun man.

Bubbles:
This is not fuckin' fun, Julian! This is bullshit!

Julian:
You wanna see Rush, Bubbles?

Bubbles:
Yes, I wanna see Rush!

Julian:
Get down there. You want me to go next?

Bubbles:
Please. What if something gets me?

Bubbles:
Ah! Something licked me on the knee! Something licked me!

[Julian lifts up a grate]

Bubbles:
We did it Julian. Was that the Alex Lifeson?

Julian:
Shh!

Bubbles:
That is him!

Ricky:
Shh!

Alex Lifeson:
Sorry, Randy? I got this t-shirt for you to wear tonight on stage during the guitar changes.

Randy:
No thanks, Alex. I don't wear shirts.

Alex Lifeson:
Oh, no. You gotta wear a shirt. Please.

Randy:
Never do.

Jim:
Randy doesn't wear shirts, Mr. Lifeson. That's just the way it is.

Alex Lifeson:
Well, Mr. Lahey, maybe you can talk him into wearing this shirt.

Jim:
He doesn't wear shirts, not even in the winter time.

[Notices Ricky, Julian and Bubbles walking towards them]

Jim:
How did you idiots get in here?!

Bubbles:
Hi, Alex.

Ricky:
Don't worry about it, Lahey. Hey, I know this guy!

Randy:
How's this shit?

Bubbles:
See this, Randy? When somebody like Alex Lifeson gives you a fuckin' t-shirt to put on, you're puttin' the fuckin' thing on. I don't care if you don't wear shirts.

Randy:
I don't wear a frig! [Bubbles attempts to put the t-shirt on Randy]

Jim:
Randy doesn't wear shirts!

[Bubbles struggles to get Randy to wear the t-shirt while the other try to pry him off]

Jim:
[To the security guards] Take the garbage downtown, boys.

[The guards drag the boys away]

Donny:
WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

[The boys get out of the cab]

Bubbles:
This is fucked!

Ricky:
Fuckin' believe we gotta go down the same!

Julian:
Boys, it wasn't that bad.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Julian walks Alex out to a cab]

Julian:
I'm sorry about all this shit, man.

Alex Lifeson:
OK. It's all right.

Ricky:
Fuck that! Don't even worry about him!

[Julian pushes Ricky back while Alex tells the cab where to go]

Ricky:
Fuckin' shove me...

Alex Lifeson:
I'm going downtown.

Ricky:
You got enough money? Here's another dollar thirty-six there, dick tree.

[Ricky throws the coins at his feet, Julian helps him pick them up]

Alex Lifeson:
I can't believe I'm picking this stuff up!

Ricky:
Just get the fuck out of here, would ya? He's kind of a dick.

Julian:
You fucked up big time.

[Alex Lifeson gives Ricky the middle finger as the cab drives off and Ricky gives Alex Lifeson the middle finger]

Julian:
Ricky, Ricky, don't be giving him the finger.

Ricky:
He fuckin' started it.

Julian:
No, you fucked up big time this time, man. You wanna go back to jail? Because it looks like you do. Huh?

Ricky:
Julian, look. I fucked up and I'm sorry, alright? You got a better idea?

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Julian:
Hey, buddy.

Ricky:
Julian! I came through, buddy! Where's Bubbles?

Julian:
He's at the vet. Don't tell me you got tickets...

Ricky:
I got better than tickets. Check this out.

Julian:
Ricky. Ricky. this. You're from Rush.

Ricky:
Yeah, it's Alex Lifeson. Alex, this is J... ah, Gored, uh, Downy. This is Alex. Hey, play I Like To Rock.

Alex Lifeson:
That's April Wine.

Ricky:
Well, play that Diane Sawyer song. Just fuckin' play somethin'. That's why you're here.

[Alex Lifeson plays a song on the guitar]

Julian:
Ricky, what's he doing here?

Ricky:
I just borrowed him for a couple of hours from the hotel.

Julian:
You kidnapped him Ricky.

Ricky:
That's not kidnapping.

Julian:
You don't boro people.

Ricky:
It's totally cool man. We worked it all out.

Julian:
You were. Alright, can you stop playing this just for a second. Alright. he ya alright. I'm gonna untie you and you're not gonna call the police. He's just a big fan. He made a mistake. This isn't kidnapping. I'm sorry man. Like are we cool or what?

Alex Lifeson:
You untie me, you get me back to my hotel. It's no problem.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Alex Lifeson:
Where are we?

Ricky:
The fuckin' best trailer park in the goddamn world, right here. Good people, good friends, and we're gonna see a little show. Look, the first thing I want to do is to make it clear, this is not kidnapping, okay?

Alex Lifeson:
This is totally kidnapping.

Ricky:
This is not fuckin' kidnapping!

Alex Lifeson:
This is fuckin' totally kidnapping.

Ricky:
I'm borrowing you for a little bit to play a little concert back at the trailer park!

Alex Lifeson:
I don't do that kind of stuff!

Ricky:
Look, you're in a rock band! You should be used to this shit!

Alex Lifeson:
Can I tell you something? You're a fuckin' mental case!

Ricky:
What the fuck are you talkin' about?

Alex Lifeson:
You are crazy!

Ricky:
It's not my fault you're this big fuckin'.

Alex Lifeson:
You're gonna go to jail for a long time.

Ricky:
I'm not going to fuckin' jail, believe me. This isn't kidnapping. I'm borrowing you for a little bit, alright?

Bubbles:
Oh, no big deal at all. Ricky just went and. Stole a human being!

Ricky:
It's like a little rehearse Lee. Play a couple of songs then you can go back to your little dream world or wherever the fuck it is you do with yourself all the time, playin' your fuckin' big guitar in front of people.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Ricky walks up to a hotel front desk with a beat up old guitar]

Desk Attendant:
Welcome to the Prince Elliot.

Ricky:
How's it goin'. I'm Alex Lifeson's personal guitar tech and I gotta take this up to his room right away. Can I have the key, please?

[Ricky walks into room 2112 quietly and sneaks up on Alex shaving in the bathroom]

Ricky:
Most rock stars are supposed to be really approachable and really fun and easy to talk to, but for some reason, Alex wasn't.

Ricky:
I need four tickets to your concert right now. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

Alex Lifeson:
Look, look, I'm not a ticket agency, I'm sorry. I can't help you with the tickets.

Ricky:
You can't give me four tickets to your concert?!

Alex Lifeson:
I'm sorry.

Ricky:
He's just one of these guys that, 'Hey, I don't want to talk to anybody,' and 'I'm a big fancy rock star,' and 'You can't talk to me!' So, it pissed me off.

[Ricky starts wrapping Alex up in duct tape]

Alex Lifeson:
Hang on a second, man! Hang on!

[Ricky leads Alex down the hallway in his robe, duct-taped and ankle-cuffed]

Ricky:
Let's go. No fuckin' around here. You say a word about this and I'm gonna tell everyone you sexually assaulted me.

Alex Lifeson:
Come on, give me a break!

Ricky:
Come with me, just take it easy. We're just gonna go for a little ride.

[They walk into the lobby]

Ricky:
Hotel Security! This man's drunk as fuck, he's on drugs, he's a male prostitute. I'm gonna escort him out of here!

Desk Attendant:
What's going on? Male prostitute?

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Bubbles:
Julian, this isn't about the money, you know. Don't you guys ever think of the music? That's what this is about. Remember 'Closer To The Heart'? Remember how good the fuckin' concert was in 87?

Ricky:
That was awesome, man. Remember we got kicked out during 'I Like To Rock'? Then we wrecked the Dartmouth ferry? That was fuckin' wicked!

Bubbles:
That was fuckin' April Wine, Ricky, but that was a good fuckin' concert.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
What the fuck are you guys doing here? You following us or something?

Cory:
Yeah, sorry I was following you, dude. But I have a brilliant idea, man. If we take dope and sell it at the Rush concert, we can sell it for double the price and make a ton of loot, man! It works every time. Can you hook us up?

Ricky:
That's a good idea, guys. I got a little bit of dope here for you.

[Ricky feigns opening the glove box, then pulls out his hand with a middle finger raised and sticks it in Cory's face]

Ricky:
There's no fucking dope in town, you idiots!

Trevor:
Julian, you gotta be able to get some dope. We'll take the cruise money and double it up, man. We can do it!

Julian:
All right, boys. Here. Get us all some Rush tickets.

[Julian gives Cory a handful of cash]

Cory:
Nice!

Ricky:
You sure about this?

Julian:
I want the change back too, boys. Don't fuck this up!

Cory:
That's cool.

Julian:
I think I can get us some dope, man.

Ricky:
Where the fuck are you gonna get dope?

[Ricky walks up to a cop with a drug dog in a parking garage]

Ricky:
How's it goin'? You guys got a package for Cory and Trevor Lahey?

[Another cop walks up, Ricky gives him money, the cop with the dog takes a big bag of pot out from under the dog's harness and hands it to Ricky]

Ricky:
Fuck, I hate buying dope from cops, man. They way overcharge every time. It doesn't even feel like a pound.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
Helix was a wicked concert. Fuck, I sold a lot of dope at that concert. I mean, they had good lyrics like gimme an R-O-C-K and the crowd yells rock really loud. Now that's a fuckin' concert!

Bubbles:
I'm not giving anyone a fuckin' R.

Ricky:
Rush just don't do stuff like that. They got these lyrics about how trees are talking to each other and how different sides of your brain works, or outerspace bullshit.

Bubbles:
Gimme a fuckin' R.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
Thank you. I just gotta get some cigarettes, actually.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Judge:
Richard, please.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
Alright, I'm fuck. I'm sorry about the bulls. About all the stuff but the prosecutor is a f... He's a. He's an F in bad guy and he's. He's pissin' me off.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Prosecutor:
He can't even speak without swearing. Your honor, this is ludicrous. It's a disgrace to these proceedings.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Judge:
Thank you. Richard, since you chose to defend yourself and fire the public defender, I guess it's your turn to question the witness.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
Thank you, Your Majesty.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Judge:
And Richard, before you begin, I'd like to say that I think this is a very bad idea. However, you do have a right to defend yourself, so proceed, but please remember to watch your language.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
Look, I can't speak without swearing, and I've only got my grade 10, and I haven't had a cigarette since I've been arrested, I'm ready to fuckin' snap. So I'd like to make a request under the people's freedom of choices and voices act that I be able to smoke and swear in your courtroom. Because if I can't smoke and swear, I'm fucked. And so are all these guys. I won't be able to properly express myself at a court level, and that's bullshit. It's not fair and if you ask me, I think it's a fuckin' miss draw.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Prosecutor:
This man can't represent anyone! Your Honor! He's a complete and total idiot!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Judge:
Now although I am opposed to that kind of language in my courtroom, I'm going to allow it, as unfortunately it is part of your right to a fair trial. So you may proceed, but please, I want to remind you that this is not a carnival. Richard, you have permission to smoke and swear.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Bubbles:
Hi, Linda.

Linda:
Hi, guys.

Ricky:
Hoy are you doing? What's going on?

Linda:
Too bad.

Bubbles:
Listen, can we talk to J-Roc for 1 minute?

Linda:
Yeah, he's in his room. He can stand the noise. I made some pancake. You want some, Bubbles?

Bubbles:
Yes, please. Put some butter onto it.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Judge:
Just the defendant, please.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ricky:
My first order of business is to tell the prosecutor to shut the fuck up and wipe that stupid fuckin' grin off his face because it's distraculating my case. Next I want to announce that Lahey and Randy have been drinkin' all fuckin' day, they're wasted out of their fuckin' minds and they're both assholes. And the testimony they gave was total fuckin' bullshit. I can prove it and show you what really fuckin' happened here.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Prosecutor:
Oh, for the love of God.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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