Wikidude's Quotes Page #195

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Randy:
Simon?

Barb:
No! No, this is Jim. And Jim, this is Randal. Well, Randy. He's gonna be staying with us for a little while. Just temporarily. I thought he could help you out around the park, you know, for a bit of food and a place to stay.

Jim:
Staying with us...

Barb:
Well, yes. That is why I started the outreach program at the church! You just, um, you just make yourself at home, Randy.

[Barb walks out of the room]

Randy:
Simon, you're married?!

Jim:
Don't you say a fuckin' word! And don't call me Simon. Please never call me Simon, always Mr. Lahey! Always. Always!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ray:
Boys! Let's go. We have to get to church. Let's go.

Ricky:
Dad, I can't go to church. Got a bunch of dope from jail and we're going down to the pool hall to make some money!

Ray:
Ricky, it's Christmas. We're going to church. That's the way it goes.

Julian:
Ray, I've got gifts to sell. I'm not going to church. I can't go to church...

Bubbles:
I'm not going to church. I have no interest in going...

Ricky:
Dad, I gotta sell my dope...

Ray:
Way it goes! Way it goes, boys.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bubbles:
My God, Ricky! I think it's a letter from my mom! (reading letter aloud) Dear Bubbles: Merry Christmas. Sorry we're not there with you. It was the hardest thing we've ever done, when me and your dad had to pack up and leave you, but some very dangerous men were coming after your daddy, for his gambling, fighting and shooting his mouth off, drunk down at the legion. We never wanted to put you into any jeopardy so we had to leave fast. Hopefully some day you'll understand. P.S.: I've asked Julian's grandmother if you could stay with them for a bit. She said no problem, Julian would look after you. You're lucky you have a friend like Julian and that Richard boy who you try to help out with his school work.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
I saw Director's Cut, that was fuckin' awesome.

Bubbles:
Ricky, that was Blade Runner: The Director's Cut. That's not the name of the movie.

Terry:
Dennis, what the fuck is going on here?

Dennis:
Terry, can you do me a fucking favour and just chill out a little bit? All right? Everything is under control. Fuck, j-just chill out for a bit. Just sit down or somethin'...

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Terry:
Don't point the fucking gun at me!

Dennis:
Put the fucking guns down!

(As the boys continue arguing, Julian unintentionally points the gun at Obaa-Chan as she's walking by with snacks, unaware of--or ignoring--what's going on)

Dennis:
Don't point the gun at my grandmother!!

Julian:
I'm just taking a look at it!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

(upon seeing his shed piled with liquor bottles)

Bubbles:
It's a liquor-lanche!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ray:
Cory and Trevor fucked you guys over big-time, OK? That's what's going on. They fucked you over big-time. They took all your money, it's all gone, you don't own the park, everything is fucking gone. They took everything, boys.

[brief pause]

Ricky:
[dumbfounded] Dad, I don't know if I understand you right here. You're saying Cory and Trevor...th-they fucked up?

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
(to Lahey when he says he's sorry) Oh, you're fuckin' sorry are you? What do you wanna do, play a big song on the Magdalene? (imitates someone playing a violin with a bow) You're fuckin' sorry? Bullshit you're sorry. (Ricky appears to be confusing a mandolin with Mary Magdalene).

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
I'm sick of looking after everybody. I mean right now, I mean, everyone's at my Dad's place. Fucking using my car. Now he's borrowing my fucking gun. It's bullshit. You know if he thinks he's better then me, wants to go down, take care of himself then good 'cause I don't want to look after him anymore, and I'll look after myself. And when he gets back here he's gonna see who...fuckin' looks after who...better than...the other person.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bubbles:
Lucy got fake boobs. I mean...its obvious. I don't mean I was staring at them, but I can't exactly control what direction my eyes go in all the time. I mean obviously she used our money to buy them anyway so, if you think about it, I sorta own one-third of them.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
Actually, Sarah, let's go with the milk.

Sarah:
"Let's go with the milk"? What the fuck's that?

Ricky:
Sorry...would you welcome me with a little bit of your precious milk, please? Is that better?

Sarah:
Why, so that you can welcome yourself to all the cereal that I bought?

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Ricky is cooking bacon on the stove in Ray's burnt-down trailer]

Ricky:
Hey, Dad!

Ray:
Hey, buddy.

Ricky:
Cookin' some bacon for you, buddy.

Ray:
Smells good, buddy.

Ricky:
There's only 3 pieces left, but I'll give it to you so long as I can have the grease.

Ray:
You can have the grease, buddy.

Ricky:
Cool.

Ray:
Bacon frying and the sparrows chirpin', Rick. It's all about the bacon and the sparrows, buddy.

Ricky:
Dad, what the fuck are you talking about?

Ray:
I'm talking about the sparrows, Rick. The sparrows in the Bible, buddy. You know, nothing to worry about. I'm not worried, the trailer's burned down, the sparrows aren't worried, nobody's worried.

Ricky:
Sparrows are stupid, Dad. They don't give a fuck about anything.

Ray:
Exactly my point, Rick. Maybe God forgives you for burning down my trailer, Rick. That's the point I'm trying to make this morning.

Ricky:
Does ol' Goddy-boy forgive you for getting lap dances and playing VLTs?

Ray:
I don't...What's your point, Rick? There's nothing wrong with playing VLTs and gettin' drunk.

Ricky:
You want some fuckin' bacon or not?

Ray:
Yes, Rick. I do. Rick, there's another point: We should be thankful for the bacon we're having this morning, because where do you think the bacon came from, Rick?

Ricky:
From a cow.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
Hey, Bubbs.

Bubbles:
Hey, Ricky. Holy fuck that bacon smells good! Is there any extra?

Ricky:
Only had a few piece, bud. I gave it to, ah, gave it to the old man.

[Bubbles looks to Ray, Ray shakes his head no]

Ricky:
I'm doin' bread heels and grease, it's pretty good. You want half?

Bubbles:
Of an old bread heel?

Ricky:
Yeah, just dip it in the bacon grease. It's fuckin' awesome.

[Ricky holds out the pan, Bubbles reluctantly dips his half of bread heel in the grease]

Bubbles:
You do it, too. You're not trickin' me, are ya?

[Bubbles takes a bite, a disgusted look crosses his face]

Bubbles:
It's kinda fuckin' dry, Ricky. Have you anything to drink?

Ricky:
A little bit left in that.

[Ricky hands Bubbles a burnt and melted plastic pint of liquor; Bubbles takes a sip and an even more disgusted look crosses his face, he hands it back to Ricky and Ricky downs the rest]

Ricky:
You still pissed off?

Bubbles:
Well, kind of.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
The fake check trick works every fuckin' time. Basically, you figure out how much something costs, you just fill out one of the old man's checks like this, and that way if you get caught, you just say everybody who's gonna pay. I mean, mall cops are really dumb compared to real cops, it's gonna be easy. And worst case Ontario, if you get caught, you just cancel the check. You never have to pay. It's awesome!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Bubbles finds a spacesuit in his rocket kit]

Bubbles:
What's this? HOLY FUCK, a spacesuit! DEE-CENT!!

Ricky:
No way! Fuckin' deck nulls, man! Check those out!

[Julian brings a coffee cup and dog dish to toast with]

Julian:
Drinks, boys! Drinks!

[Ricky takes the dog dish]

Ricky:
Well let's make toast, boys!

Julian:
To a good fuckin' time today.

Bubbles:
This is a good time! (takes a drink) I'm gonna go put my spacesuit on boys, then lets get this dirty cocksucker in the air!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
Bubbles, are you sure we gotta play space here? This is kind of stupid.

Bubbles:
Come on, Ricky, look at this! This is awesome! Mission control this is Commander Bubbles. I'm getting an NPS warning light on the link monitor control subsystem. I'm requesting reallocation to main OMS firing to CDS at level six, please advise.

Julian:
Copy there, Commander. Reallocating there, Commander Bubbles.

Bubbles:
Try some, Ricky!

Ricky:
(sighs) Breaker breaker, come in Earth. This is rocket ship 27. Aliens fucked over the carbonator in engine number 4, I'm gonna try to refuckulate it and land on Juniper. Uh, hopefully they got some space weed, over. How's that buddy? I don't fuckin' know!

Bubbles:
Ricky, that's not very good. Use space words, real ones, not talkin' about space weed!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ray:
Randy, why don't you ask Jim where he's been for the last few nights between three and five or nine and eleven fifteen? Go ahead, ask him where he's going.

Randy:
Well, he's playing bridge at the hospital, Ray!

Ray:
Playin' bridge my arse! He's going down to the strip club gettin' drunk every night and tellin' everyone he's off the booze. And you know why, Randy? Because Jim Lahey is a fuckin' drunk and he always will be!

[Randy grabs Jim's water bottle]

Randy:
Gimme a drink!

Jim:
Randy.

Randy:
Gimme a drink!

Jim:
Let it go, Randy!

[Randy lets go of the bottle and it splashes all over him as Jim pulls away; Randy puts his tongue to the liquid that spilled on his hand]

Randy:
It's vodka!

Jim:
131-proof, straight up. I'm fuckin' wasted!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
Dartmouth Regional Vacational School? Julian, are you fucked in the head? I thought we weren't going to fucking high school. I can't go to fucking vacational school.

Julian:
Rick, you're not selling hash in high school, alright? You're old enough to be a teacher in high school, Rick. Think.

Ricky:
Yeah, but the learning thing that you get at fucking spoken out and trying to get up in there and then you gotta. Fuck.

Julian:
Rick, Rick, Rick.

Ricky:
I can't do this, man. My brain doesn't work this way. It's not college level.

Julian:
This is the perfect place to sell hash. We are not gonna get caught. Everything'll be fine. Come on.

Bubbles:
You'll do alright, Ricky.

Julian:
Think about this, think about your daughter, think about Lucy. They're gonna be impressed with you. They're gonna be so fucking proud of you, man Come on, let's go.

Ricky:
Julian, this brain barely got through fucking Grade 7. Well, Julian's been all paranoid lately with fucking Lahey and all these books he's reading, for fuck sakes. He says it's too risky for me to have a bunch of hash on me around schools that do these random searches, so he used this big-smart-thinking stuff to come up with this new plan where basically I just take orders for hash in the daytime, get people's locker number and combinations, then at night, we break in to the school, if there's money in the lockers, we just drop the hash off there. Use the honor Lee system. And hopefully it's gonna work out good. Boys, they're not gonna let me in here. If they do, there's not a fucking chance in hell I'm gonna get a greeting card. Think about it, I'm stupid.

Julian:
Rick, listen to me. Don't let school shit distract you, okay? You're here for one reason and that's to sell drugs, okay? Stay focused, man.

Bubbles:
There's two ways to look at it, really. Either you go to school to learn, or you go to school to sell drugs and Ricky's here to sell drugs. I mean, maybe if it was under different circumstances, he could learn something, but Julian wants him just to sell drugs. It's kind of ironic, really.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ray:
Low profile, Julian? What, are you reading books again?

Julian:
What's wrong with reading books?

Ray:
Nothing wrong with reading books, but there's only one book that counts, it's the Bible. It says to help your friends.

Julian:
Does it say anything about you ripping off insurance companies, pretend you're in a wheelchair, then getting caught drunk dancing with hos making porn flicks?

Ray:
It's open to interpretation Julian, it's the Bible.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 5 (2005)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bubbles:
Oh, nice job there, son of the mustard tiger!

Thomas:
My dad is not a mustard tiger!

Bubbles:
Oh, OK!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 7 (2007)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
Oh man, are they ever getting fucked over.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 7 (2007)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ricky:
You're supposed to throw your dope away before you get to the border! Ya fucked up!!

Ricky:
[Barks like a dog to border patrol dogs] Shut the fuck up!!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 7 (2007)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bubbles:
They're ladies of the evening.

Ray:
Friends of the road, buddy.

Trailer Park Boys, Season 7 (2007)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Jim:
Barb, maybe you should lay off the alcohol just for a couple.

Barb:
Don't you think? Do you think, Jim? Because you know what? I'm gonna be totally honest with you and it's...it's a bit ironic, but since you stopped drinking you are not half as much fun!

Jim:
Barb...I'm doing my best here.

Barb:
Jim, I wish you'd start drinkin' again!

Trailer Park Boys, Season 7 (2007)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

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