Wikidude's Quotes Page #364

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Pig One: Don't you think you'd better tell the truth, boss? Cyril: Don't be ridiculous! I'd better think of a better lie! – The Raccoons, Season 3 (1988) Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Sir Malcolm Havelock: I can categorically state that these are the best peanut butter sandwiches I've ever had! Bert: Aw, it's just a talent! – The Raccoons, Season 3 (1988) Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Lady Baden-Baden: Ooh, what an inspiration you are to all of us Sir Malcolm! I do hope you stay and answer some questions from our audience! Oh, there's one now! Yes? Man In Audience 1: Ever get trapped in quicksand Sir Malcolm? Sir Malcolm: Er, not permanently! Next? Man In Audience 2: Do you ever get lost Sir Malcolm? Sir Malcolm: Heh heh, not permanently! Next. – The Raccoons, Season 3 (1988) Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Cyril: I'm here to tell you that I, Cyril Sneer, will finance Sir Malcolm's next expedition. It's just my, er, small contribution towards the expedition of this wide and mysterious world of ours. For the benefit of humanity. Ralph: (To Melissa) Of course, the treasure has nothing to do with it! – The Raccoons, Season 3 (1988) Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Cedric: Do you plan to wait until the rainy season is over before you start for Lingodo Sir Malcolm? Sir Malcolm: Oh, of course old boy, yes! Can't travel in the rainy season, oh no! That ends in May... Cedric: I thought the rain started in May. Sir Malcolm: Oh yes that's right! How could I have forgotten? Cedric: I'm asking myself the same question Sir Malcolm... – The Raccoons, Season 3 (1988) Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: No doubt about it, Lance is perfect. It's his only flaw! – The Rockford Files, Season 5 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Adrian: (referring to Amy) You can't be serious. You can't be interested in that... child. Ricky: (frustrated) You know some girls do it without broadcasting it to the whole school. Some girls are more discreet about their sex life than you. Some girls have class. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Alice: (on the death of Ben's mom) It's healthy. It's healthy to move on, Ben. It's been a long time. Five years is a long time. Ben: Yeah, it is. And believe me it feels longer than five years. Time passes real slow when you're a kid. It's starting to speed up a little though. I guess I'm getting older, maturing. Maybe I'll get married soon, have a kid, start a little family band. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jack: (on him cheating on Grace) I was weak. I was tempted. I gave in. But Grace, I swear, that's never gonna happen again. And if it did... I would... I don't know, I would smite myself! (notes Grace's confused look) Yeah, your dad said he was going to smite me. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Marshall: (to Jack) Go home before I pummel you. Jack: I thought you were a Christian. Marshall: Oh that's right, I'm a Christian. So first I will smite you; then I will pummel you. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jack: Father forgive us for our many sins, for not being strong when temptation leads us astray... (Jack's team-mates are puzzled) Give us the strength to do Thy will, especially when it's much easier to give in to the pleasures of the flesh... (the coach glances in to listen) Let us not be distracted by the women that are here to lead us into situations that would lead us into hell and destroy our souls forever, but to cheer us on to victory... with their short skirts and tight sweaters and hot bodies. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Henry: So, how many students do you think are having sex? Alice: High school students. 46.8%. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Grace: Jack, we've talked about this before. Lots of times. I want to be out of medical school before I get married. My dad waited until he was out of medical school, and my mom waited with him. Jack: Okay, okay. I know. Grace: Are you okay? Jack: Yeah, I'm fine. Hypothetically speaking, and not that I'd even be interested in this...I don't even know if it's a sin after marriage, but I have heard that some people have found that...excuse me if this sounds vulgar, but I like to think we have the kind of relationship where I respect you, and you respect me, and we can tell each other anything, right? Grace: Right. So just say what you want to say. Jack: Is oral sex allowed before marriage? I mean, if two people are committed to each other and in love with each other, would that be allowed? Grace: I don't know. I'll ask my mother. (he spits out his drink) I'm kidding. Kidding! But you deserved that. Of course it's sex. You need to keep your mind away from those kinds of thoughts, Jack. I mean, what is wrong with you today? – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Ricky: Aren't I supposed to tell you how I feel? Therapist: You've been coming here enough years to know that I'm not that kind of shrink. Come on. Tell me how you feel. Ricky: I feel like my f...my fricking father stole my childhood and then dumped me on another family and said, "You take him. I don't want him. He's damaged goods." Therapist: I like the way you started out, although I'd love to hear a little more anger in your voice, because you have a right to be angry. Because your father did steal your childhood by sexually abusing you. But he didn't dump you anywhere. The gigantic hand of Social Services reached down and plucked you out of a deplorable situation, and placed you in a family that doesn't see the damage. They just see the potential, and they love you. And I know you love them, but it's the loving yourself I'm trying to get you to come around to. Ricky: I thought you were trying to get me to come around to not having sex with every girl I meet. Therapist: Can you see how these two things are related? Can you see how you are constantly fighting to prove your masculinity all because your father was some sick bastard? Can you see how you have it within your power to not let what he did have anything to do with who you are at this point in your life? Ricky: I'm not sure I want to see it. How do you feel about that? Therapist: I feel like you don't want to see it, because if you do, you'll lose your motivation for having sex. And without constant, indiscriminate sex, you'll be a new person. A better person. A person you might actually like, even love. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Ashley: (about her school) Why do these people think there's something wrong with a belly button? It's not like everyone doesn't have one. I mean, I have one. They have one. You have one. Personally, I don't see the big deal if it shows. I mean, it's not like anyone else is covering their buttons. Anne: Well, they're supposed to. It's in the dress code. Ashley: Yes, Mother, but no one pays attention to the dress code. Of course, not until today, when I get hauled into the principal's office and asked to put on a sweatshirt. I mean, why should I follow the rules if no one else does? George: I'll tell you why. Because I don't want to get another call from the principal's office, and neither does your mother. We don't like being embarrassed by our 13-year-old daughter, who insists on dressing like a streetwalker when we take our hard-earned money to buy you decent clothes to wear that fit the dress code requirement. Forget the school dress code. We have our own dress code. You didn't just break the school's rules. You broke our rules, and rules of good taste. What are you trying to prove, that you're not 13? You're 13. That you're sexy? You're not sexy! I mean, do you even know what sexy means? It means you're ready to have sex, and you are not ready to have sex. Neither of my daughters are ready to have sex, and you two will not be ready to have sex for a long time! Whoo. A very, very long time! Maybe after you've been married for a couple years. We want to make sure it's gonna work out first. (chuckles at himself) Ashley: Funny. George: Am I right? Anne: He's right, although I doubt you'll get your father's permission even after you're married. – The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Season 1 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim Royle: These underpants cost me a quid, and I've got about fifty pence worth stuck up my arse. – The Royle Family Show Quote	added 8 months ago
(Same episode as the one above- discussing Roger's visit to a lap-dancing club.) Jim Royle: How much for a dance, then, Roger? Roger Kavanagh: Ten quid. Jim Royle (horrified): Ten quid for a dance? Roger Kavanagh: Aye, you can't touch, either. Jim Royle (even more horrified): Ten quid for a dance and you can't touch?! – The Royle Family Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: Say, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry Whipple got iced. Colonel Smith: Hey, he was a soldier doing a soldier's job and he ended up with his dog tags in his boot like a half million other soldiers. I only hope when I get mine it's in the line of duty. Jim: Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for too. I mean, who wants to go out looking at a vase of roses when you can get your head blown off in an alley? – The Rockford Files, Season 6 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: Does he have any other relatives around here? Lucy: No Jim: Oh! Lucy: Maybe you could leave your name and address. Jim: Then you expect to hear from him? Lucy: No. – The Rockford Files, Season 5 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: [after Dennis is promoted from Sergeant] I told you Rocky, I told everybody he was going to do it. A Lieutenant, that's great! Dennis: There's only one problem, Lieutenant Chapman, from here on out, I gotta call him Doug. [everyone laughs] – The Rockford Files, Season 5 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: [to Rocky, explaining the difference between fictional detectives and the real thing] His gun is deadly... mine is in a cookie jar. – The Rockford Files, Season 5 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: [On phone with Dennis] Well, what do you want for proof, Dennis? My body? This is second time somebody's tried to kill me in two days! Yeah. I know he's a pillar of the community. No, I won't tell you where I am. [Slams phone] – The Rockford Files, Season 3 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Dennis: Let me get this straight if I can. What you're saying is that a Beverly Hills psychiatrist, an Encino stockbroker, a San Marino lawyer and the biggest subdivider in the next county, all got together to do an old man out of three acres without the daughter's knowledge, but with her consent and full cooperation? Jim: I don't know if they all got together, Dennis, but they're all doing it to him. Dennis: There's nothing to tie them together and from what you said, I'd say the old man's right where he belongs. Jim: Okay, so his lifestyle doesn't help his case any. But since when is eccentricity punishable by torture? And besides, Muellard knew about the attempt on my life, which ties him to something. Or did you forget somebody tried to kill me yesterday? Dennis: Look, Jimbo, what can I do? Jim: Well, did you run a check on the nitrous oxide tank? Dennis: Yup. Dr. Fellows ran an inventory against supply and accounted for every tank. So there's nothing there. And Fellows is the director of Horizons Crest. Jim: Well, he's in on it, too. Dennis: Oh, good, now I can add a Woodland Hills doctor to your list of co-conspirators. – The Rockford Files, Season 3 Show Quote	added 8 months ago
Jim: What do you know about T.T.'s son-in-law? Rocky: Oh, he's a rich stockbroker, is all I know. But, of course, T.T. says that he's nothing but a con man with a diploma and a place to hang it. – The Rockford Files, Season 3 Show Quote	added 8 months ago

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