Pam:
Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?
Jim:
Oh, great. [reads] "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.
Phyllis:
Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.
Pam:
It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his moustache.
Jim:
Stanley doesn't have a moustache.
Pam:
Yeah, he does.
Oscar:
Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.
Pam:
Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not?
Phyllis:
Oh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't.
Pam:
Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!
Jim:
Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?
Angela:
Because we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.
Pam:
Okay, which one of these looks more right?
[holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a moustache]
Dwight:
Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.
Gabe:
[bell dings] Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?
Jim:
Okay, quick. Who says moustache?
[Pam, Oscar, Dwight, and Creed raise their hands]
Dwight:
Yep.
Jim:
Who says no moustache?
[Jim, Angela, and Phyllis raise their hands; Gabe enters, hiding Stanley's face]
Gabe:
[reveals Stanley's moustache] Ah! Ha ha ha!
Phyllis:
He does have a moustache.
Dwight:
Yes!
Pam:
Welcome back, Stanley.
[Stanley grunts]
