Wikidude's Quotes Page #367

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[The Louds kids gather in the living room for a family meeting while talking over each other]

Lynn Sr.:
Order! Order!

Rita:
Zip it, people! [the kids quiet down] Your father said order.

Lynn Sr.:
That I did. Now. [clears throat] As some of you may have heard…

Siblings except Lily:
[deadpan] We know. Tomorrow's your half-birthday.

Lily:
[joining in] Day!

Lynn Sr.:
Tomorrow is my half-birthday, but that's not what this meeting's about. But feel free to mark it on your calendars. [chuckles] Moving on. Lucy…

Lucy:
[as her siblings look at her] What?

Lynn Sr.:
…has been up for three days straight, and last night she scared the bejeezus out of me. So, there's gonna be a new rule around here.

Lincoln:
[to the viewers] Probably gonna be no more sneaking up on people.

Lucy:
[slides next to him and jumpscares him] You think so?

Lincoln:
You really should start wearing a bell.

Lynn Sr.:
And the new rule is… Everyone goes to bed before midnight, not one minute later.

Lincoln:
NOOOO! This isn't fair! It's Lucy's fault! Why should we have to suffer?! [he and all his sisters start protesting]

Lynn Sr.:
Order! Order! Don't make me have to count! Here we go! One, two--

Rita:
[holds up her fist, silencing the siblings] You did it, honey.

Lynn Sr.:
Sorry I had to be so harsh with them. In this house, it's all for one and one for all.

Rita:
And Lucy's not the first kid to make a mistake.

Lynn Sr.:
Yeah, Mom's right. You've all been responsible for new rules around here.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Lincoln gathers his sisters in Lisa and Lily's room]

Lincoln:
Ok, so here's the plan. Tonight at midnight, you guys will take Dad out to Jean Juan's French Mex for a half-birthday celebration. I will stay here and watch the Rip Hardcore Midnight Marathon and get my Macho Man Badge.

Lori:
Look, Lincoln, I'm only home from college for two days, and we all have a lot of stuff to do. So if you want us to help you, you're gonna have to help us with our stuff.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lisa:
I'm entering Todd in a robotics competition, and it seems another contestant also has a robot named Todd.

Lincoln:
Why can't he change his robot name?

Lisa:
[sighs] His Todd was named after his recently-deceased grandfather. Some guys have all the luck.

Lincoln:
So you need me to come up with a new name for Robot Todd?

Lisa:
Precisely.

Lincoln:
How about Beau?

Lisa:
No.

Lincoln:
Jamie?

Lisa:
Lamey. This is a list of names that I don't like. [shows a massive board filled with X'ed out names, then flips it over to show the other side is also full of X'ed out names]

Todd:
We've been here for hours.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Nighttime at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet; The Louds, and Todd, disguised as Lincoln, are all assembled for Lynn Sr.'s half-birthday]

Lynn Sr.:
I am having such a good time. [chuckles] Lynn, how's that beef baguette in a bread bowl?

Lynn:
Great! Perfect pre-game meal for my hockey championship tomorrow. Carbo load! [keeps eating]

Rita:
You still need to chew carbs, sweetie.

Lynn:
[mouth full] I do?

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Todd:
It seems there really is no stronger bond than family.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Daytime at Royal Woods Middle School…]

Lincoln:
Ok, people. We're not leaving here until we've come up with some hot stories. Let's go, the news doesn't make itself.

Clyde:
Actually, it does.

Lincoln:
Helping or hurting, Clyde, helping or hurting? I'm sorry. I'm a little on edge this morning.

Rusty:
[leaning in close to Zach and Liam] He's got a butt pimple that's been revealing barking at him.

[Zach and Liam both wince in disgust]

Lincoln:
I wanted to keep that between us, Rusty. I guess I should have been more clear when I said, "Let's keep that between us." Now, does anyone have a news story? [Stella raises up her hand] Stella.

Stella:
Are butt pimples contagious?

Zach:
I have absolute proof that the school nurse might be an alien.

Liam:
I don't know what's wrong with that melon story I pitched. Thing's grown to darn near the size of a baby head.

Clyde:
What's the hook? Why are we watching?

Liam:
Because, it's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. You put a live feed on that and the audience will be happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow.

Lincoln:
So we got nothing.

Liam:
Is that nothing with the melon, or nothing without the melon?

Rusty:
Thank God for "Real Talk with Rusty". Without my show, our ratings would be in the toilet.

Lincoln:
[to the viewers] "Real Talk with Rusty" has been the top-rated middle school news show in the tri-state area for seven months running.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lynn Sr.:
[inspecting Leni's sunburned arm] What did I tell you about sunbathing on the roof?

Leni:
Don't fall off.

Lynn Sr.:
Just pour some of this on it.

Leni:
Ranch dressing?

Lynn Sr.:
Uh-uh. Cool ranch.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Luan:
Our brother has a butt pimple.

Luna:
It's the only thing standing between him and what might be true love.

Leni:
A butt pimple!

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lincoln:
You wouldn't think my sisters and I would be so excited about parent-teacher conferences. But every year, Dad promises that if more than half of us get a positive review, he'll treat us to the biggest dessert in Royal Woods: Auntie Pam's Banana Split in a Canoe!

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lincoln:
I hate to throw my parents under the bus, but we're talking about a canoe full of ice cream. Come on.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lincoln:
[coming out of the front door; stiffly] If you're a Royal Woods middle schooler, today is the biggest day of the year, the annual Kangaroo Hop, the Super Bowl of middle school dances.

Liam:
Cut! You're all stiff, like a baby calf in a blizzard.

Lincoln:
Sorry, Liam.

Liam:
Haven't you ever talked to a camera before?

Lincoln:
[to the viewers] Liam is really excited about getting to shoot his first solo Action News piece, a documentary about the Kangaroo Hop.

Liam:
You know what? I'm gonna scrap the opening for now and get some B-roll of the decorations committee.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lincoln:
Order! Order! Order!

Lynn Sr.:
Is he allowed to call family meetings now?

Rita:
This better be important. [sighs as Lily suddenly starts bawling off-screen] Lily's on a sleep strike. We only slept 28 minutes last night. Oh, we should do the stroller trick.

Lynn Sr.:
Mm-hm.

Lincoln:
I've called this family meeting to address the constant infringement on my personal space, A.K.A. my bedroom. Which isn't very big to begin with.

Lana:
Your room's not that small.

Lincoln:
Lana, I have to step outside to change my mind.

Lynn Sr.:
[chuckles] You know, I should tell more jokes in my family meetings. [Rita gives him a stern look] I'll get the stroller.

Luna:
Lincoln, you're the only one without a roommate.

Clyde:
I beg to differ. I'm here quite often, and this morning, my cubby had an engine block in it.

Lana:
That's a carburetor, dude.

Clyde:
Great. That's much more normal.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lana:
You guys didn't let us into your club.

Lisa:
Well, Leni and Luna didn't let us into their club.

Luna:
Well, Clyde and Lincoln didn't let us into their club.

Clyde:
Hey, we had a very good reason for that. Lincoln, what was the reason?

Lincoln:
I don't know. But I'm getting some of those chicken wings.

Lynn:
You cross that line, you're gonna get decked by one of those wings.

Lincoln:
You wouldn't.

Lana:
[throws a chicken wing at Lincoln as he crosses the line] No, but I would. Oh, and by the way… [eats one] They're delicious.

Lincoln:
Well, then maybe you should try them with some… [grabs some tortilla chips and dips them in guacamole and sauce] Nachos. [throws them at Lana]

[Clyde laughs at her as she wipes the nachos off herself]

Lynn:
Oh, is that funny, Clyde? Because the potato skins… are hilarious! [throws some potato skins at him]

[Leni throws a meatball in Luna's left eye]

Luna:
Leni… why'd you do that?

Leni:
I don't know. Seemed fun.

Lisa:
[grabs another meatball and throws it at Leni's dress] It is fun.

Clyde:
Nothing's more fun than guacamole! [grabs a fistful of guacamole and throws it at Lynn]

Lucy:
[as Lynn throws some stuffing at her in retaliation] That was a mistake.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Rita:
[as the twins pour themselves some cereal with plates of broccoli behind them] Uh-uh. You're not eating another thing until you finish this broccoli.

Lola:
Broccoli's gross.

Lana:
And cold.

Rita:
Well, it was warm when I served it to you last night.

Lana:
But we don't wanna waste all this delicious cereal when there's so many hungry people in the world.

Rita:
Well, Lisa and Mr. Nibbles can eat it. [takes the cereal bowls away as the twins groan]

Lincoln:
Mr. Nibbles loves his cereal.

Lisa:
Mr. Nibbles won't be receiving any tasty rewards until he successfully completes this week's mouse maze.

Luan:
[enters the kitchen] If he did complete it, it would be "a-maze-ing." [laughs; no response] "A-maze-ing?" Because the mouse goes through the maze?

Rita:
I love you, sweetheart.

Luan:
That joke would've been funny if Mr. Coconuts was here. Has anyone seen him? He's been lost for three days.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Lincoln:
[terrified as he and Clyde are being watched by Boris in a cloak and holding a scythe] Clyde, I think we've bored ourselves to death.

[Haiku and Dante enter next to Boris]

Boris:
Where is the entrance to the underworld? [Lincoln and Clyde slowly look at each other in confusion] The basement?

Lucy:
[appearing near the basement] Welcome, fellow Morticians' Club members. Darkness and snacks await you. [escorts her mortician friends down to the basement] This meeting will commence by acknowledging those members who are sadly not with us. Bertrand and Morpheus are at their callback for "Guys and Dolls"-- congrats to them both-- and Persephone is at Kumon.

Dante:
[raises his hand] Is today show-and-tell?

Lucy:
Dante, for the last time, it's not called show-and-tell. It's called share-and-scare.

– The Really Loud House, Season 1  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Ren:
Hammering my eggs just doesn’t thrill me like it used to. [bird squawk] I put off the eggs off the crumb-heads to their Asia, and yet I’m not thrilled… (cries) Oh, father. Why not I will blast within air… That’s when you came in my pet project! [pulls off the fabric] Oh my beautiful account of yolk, [hugs a bunch of scrambled eggs] I will mole you and make me do my old dreamy image! [The eggs fall. Fades to Black, then Ren makes a son out of eggs] Come, my child. I will help you… so that you’ll have sight and snitch to see, I give you a splendid press eyes. So to keep your head warm so it’s not to catch a chill, I give you a lock of my- [pulls off his hair] Chum! and so you’ll have wisdom and witch to think: [scoops out his brain] Lock off my- brain! But you are incomplete... Wait! of course I forgot: My assistant Stimpy will complete the final edition. Stimpleton! [Stimoy runs all the way to the Egg Smithee, while carrying a man, back at the Egg Smithee as Ren looks at Stimpy] Finally, do you have that man?

Stimpy:
Yes, friend... [lifts up the fabric and yanks out the man's clothes] Ah, here are those cleaning tips that you wanted, Renwaldo!

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 4  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Anthony's dad is confronting Ren and Stimpy in the den.]

Anthony's dad:
Oh... You guys are big shots. [chuckles] Big shots from Hollywood. Is that what makes you feel big? Huh?! Pushing little boys around? Ya feel like big men, playing with little boys' feelings, huh?! You Hollywood types make me SICK! You think because you come from HOLLYWOOD, you can push decent people around. People who work for a living! I work my fingers to the bone, to feed my wife, and... [chokes up] my boy, Anthony. [crying] Oh, Anthony, you've got to pull through! [becomes angry again] I bet you wussies never worked a stinkin' day, in your stinkin' little lives! Show me your hands!

[Ren and Stimpy present their hands to Anthony's dad.]

Anthony's dad:
Just as I thought. Soft as a baby's head. Well, look at these hands! [shows Ren and Stimpy his hands, which have rocks growing out of them] These are the hands of a working man! What'd you ever do for society anyway, just what do you do to earn your keep?

Stimpy:
Eh... Well, we make people laugh.

Anthony's dad:
Real hard work, making people laugh. Did you go to school to make people laugh? Listen. I make people laugh, too. But nobody gives ME money! You wanna hear a joke?

Stimpy:
Well, I...

Anthony's dad:
I'll tell ya a joke. And you're gonna laugh! Alright. Here's the joke. Ya ready? Why did they bury the fireman... behind the hill? Come on, funny guys, huh? Huh, huh? Why?

Ren and Stimpy:
[trembling with fear; in unison] We don't know why they buried the fireman behind the hill...

Anthony's dad:
I'll tell ya why. Because he was DEAD!

Stimpy:
[laughs] That's pretty good, huh, Ren? Maybe we could use that.

[Ren smacks Stimpy.]

Anthony's dad:
Alright, funny guys. I wanna know something. [increasing with anger] I just wanna know one thing... JUST ONE THING FROM YOU... [suddenly casual] So what makes you guys move, anyway?

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Shaven Yak:
SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!! I can't STAND IT ANYMORE!!! All the time, singing! SINGING! Why won't he STOP?! Listen! You hear that? [Starts laughing maniacally]

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Ren :
What's on TV tonight?

Stimpy:
I don't care.

Ren:
Commander Hoek and Cadet Stimpy!

Stimpy:
I don't care.

Ren:
Hey look. It's time for Muddy Mudskipper!

Stimpy:
I don't care.

[Ren looks concerned for a moment, then has an idea]

Ren:
Look what I got for you! A new catnip mouse!

Stimpy:
[turning it away] Ah....

Ren:
Mr. Catnip Mouse!

[Ren tries to get Stimpy to play with the mouse, but Stimpy doesn't respond, then Ren has another idea]

Ren:
It's Mr. Litter Box! Come on! Take a stinky one! [scratches steps] Nice and stinky!

Stimpy:
Stinky... [loud, violent crying]

Ren:
[annoyed] So THAT's it! YOU'RE still crying about your imaginary BUTT stinkyness!

Stimpy:
I'm not listening to this anymore! He's real. He's REAL! He's REAL!

Ren:
Look, man! It's time to get over this fantasy of yours. Let the wound heal. Come on, man, I'll help you. Together, we'll get through this, okay, buddy?

Stimpy:
I don't care.

[At this point, Ren has finally lost his patience]

Ren:
FINE! Sit here and wallow! You FAT, You -you STUPID... WHO NEEDS YA?! [storms off]

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 2  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Stimpy: (reading his Christmas list to the Lincoln Memorial) And I want a bike, and a Betsy-Wets-Herself doll, and a CHEE-Z Bake Oven, and a Pulpy the Pup doll, and a jillion army men, and a... (Ren throws a sponge at him) Ooh! Ren: Get down from there! That's not Santy Claus! It's a memorial. Stimpy: A memorial? (gasps, then starts tearing up) I didn't know Santy Claus was... DEAD...! [starts crying hysterically] AAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-AAAA!! Ren: You are so stupid. Stimpy: Am I? Ren: IDIOT! Don't you recognize President Willard P. Fillmore when you see him?!

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Ren:
Must not get angry... Must not get angry... Huh? [reacts in horror] MY USED CELEBRITY UNDERWEAR!!! GONE!!! Where?! Who?! [gasps] Oh, no. OH, NO!!!!

[Ren rushes to the laundry room.]

Ren:
[sobbing] He didn't! He didn't! Stimpy washed my collection... of used celebrity underwear...! I can't even tell the difference... inbetween Van Johnson's socks... and June Allison's underwear. WHY?!

[Ren continues sobbing as Stimpy enters.]

Stimpy:
Eh... What's wrong, Ren?

Ren:
[angry] You! Why, I oughta--

[Ren stops, and looks around, scared.]

Ren:
Stimpy, what's wrong with you?! Why must you make me so angry?! You know I get hurt when you make me angry! Do you want to get me killed?!

[Ren comes to a realization.]

Ren:
Unless... Of course...! [starts going insane] That's the plan, isn't it? You set me up, and he knocks me down. Is that it? Huh? Well, it won't work. 'Cuz I'm not gonna get mad. I'm not getting mad... No, sir. Not me. [laughs madly] I'm... happy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! Happy, happy, joy, joy! I'm happy, happy, happy! Not mad, mad, mad! [cackles] Mr. Happy Boy, right?! HEY, WORLD!!! AM I HAPPY ENOUGH?!

[Ren cackles loudly, his insanity reaching its breaking point. Then he grabs Stimpy.]

Ren:
And now... you... DIE!!!

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 3  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Ren is playing blackjack with his three personalities.]

Ren:
Hey! You're trying to cheat!

Ren's Anger:
Yeah? Your whole life's a cheat!

Ren's Fear:
He's the cheat!

Ren's Ignorance:
Did somebody say cheese?! [belches]

[The argument intensifies, causing Ren to go mad.]

Ren:
STOP!!! [flips the table] Who are you? You're not my friends. You're just here to trick me, so you can steal all my stuff. Well, I'm onto ya. [grabs the mummy] Stand back! One false move, and the mummy gets it! I know all about your plot. Yeah, yeah. You're all in it together. Each and every one of you... Sleepin' in my gravel bed! Eatin' all my SAND...! Well, here's somethin' you can REALLY have! HIIII-YAH! [starts smashing the mummy apart]

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 4  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

Stimpy:
[comes to Ren] Ren, what are you eating?

Ren:
[gulp] I was eating some delicious chicken sausages. [uses a toothpick.]

[The camera zooms to Stimpy for being sad and the backround blue. Cuts at bed Stimpy cries. "6 Months Later..."]

Ren:
[opens the door] Stimpy? [Stimpy is lazy, cuts to Ren] I'm sorry I ate your chicken, it wasn't that good, I wasn't so glad to ask. [smiles]

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 4  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

[Baboon has become Ren's co-star; during the taping of an episode, Ren is trembling with fear.]

Ren:
Who left this wildebeest carcass on my good sofa...? [gulps] This really makes me mad... Baboon...?

[Baboon runs up to Ren.]

Ren:
You've really made me angry this time...

[Baboon growls.]

Ren:
I'm gonna have to hit ya... You... stupid...

[Ren covers his eyes and smacks Baboon's nose. Baboon roars and starts mauling Ren.]

– The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 4  Show Quote

added 8 months ago

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