Wikidude's Quotes Page #42

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Catherine:
This is a pretty good turnout for a dog funeral. Even the governor's here. Who are all these people?

Richard:
Novelty mayors are Iowa's number one form of tourism, after tornado chasing and coming into town to buy Sudafed.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
God bless America for hating women almost as much as I do!

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kent:
"Man Up" continues to resonate in all four quadrants.

Selina:
It's universal: Men hate women, women hate themselves.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dan:
Ma'am, the new anti-Kemi ad pieces came in. [hands her the ad]

Selina:
What the tragic mulatto fuck! Kemi looks like an albino, and I'm so black people are gonna start calling me "articulate".

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Marjorie:
[about Richard] I've never been more proud that I taught that man to ejaculate into a cup.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
So, how's the turnout?

Ben:
Well, much like my prostate, mostly black and much larger than we'd like.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
Ma'am, I warned you, you cannot trust the Chinese. I've married enough of them to know that.

Selina:
Isn't your wife Korean?

Ben:
Maybe. Fog of war.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Okay Gary, you need to spend every dime in the space-based...

Kent:
Faith-based.

Selina:
Mmm-hmm. On religious shit, ASAP.

Gary:
I don't know how to do that. I don't even know how it got in there.

Selina:
Just give it to one of those gay-converting Baptist colleges to fund a statue of a gold-plated Jesus fucking a Triceratops.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Huck is exploring the town of Muscatine.]

Huck:
[to himself] Wow, what a great town. This place has got it all. Friendly town people, shopping, baby with a signal flare... Huh?

[Huck looks and sees that there is, in fact, a baby with a signal flare. Observing further, he sees that everyone in the town has a signal flare. To make matters worse, Huck spots a big "WANTED" billboard for Little Jimmy.]

Huck:
Ahhh! [he backs away from the billboard, only to bump into a policeman] Excuse me. [the policeman turns to Huck, revealing he has a signal flare, too; Huck backs up, and knocks over an n entire cart of signal flares] Oh! Really sorry about that!

[Huck bumps into the old man he met from earlier.]

Huck:
Excuse me.

Old Man:
Hey, is there somethin’ I can help you with, Sonny?

[He adjusts his hat with a signal flare. Huck sees it, screams, and runs away frightened, catching the baby’s attention. Cut to Tom and Little Jimmy on the dock.]

Tom:
You play any football in high school? You got the size for it.

Little Jimmy:
No. I was in musicals.

Tom:
Really?

[Huck comes rushing toward them.]

Huck:
Tom! T-Tom!

[The baby suddenly spots Little Jimmy, and starts crying loudly as he whacks against his carriage.]

Huck:
TOM! Whoa!

[Huck collides with Tom and Little Jimmy, and the three tumble down the stairs back onto the raft. The baby stops fussing and looks at his signal flare.]

Huck:
[grabs the paddle] We gotta get outta here! [pushes the raft away from the dock]

Tom:
W-What are you doing? Huck?!? What’s going on?!

Huck:
BEWARE THE BABIES!

[A signal flare shoots into the sky with a loud whistle and explodes into a firework. The baby laughs. Huck looks up in horror.]

Little Jimmy:
Oooh...pretty.

Tom:
Eh-hehh... eh, maybe no one noticed…

[He was wrong. Everyone else in the town starts firing their signal flares into the sky, making it look like a fireworks show.]

Huck:
[paddling faster] They all know about Jim! The posters are everywhere! Even the babies have signal flares!

Tom:
The babies?

Huck:
Yeah, Tom! The babies!

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Tom:
Who's that guy?

Huck:
I think it was Colonel Sanders.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kent:
Actually, ma'am... I'm sorry I'm late... I think I may have found something. The voting data in Nevada is multiple standard deviations outside the means.

Selina:
Christ, Kent, know your audience.

Kent:
I think that there is statistical evidence of missing ballots in Nevada.

Selina:
Where?

Kent:
I do not know.

Selina:
How many?

Kent:
I do not know.

Selina:
Are you sure?

Kent:
Absolutely.

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
Never heard back from you. Late night?

Dan:
Sophie told you?

Amy:
What? No. Gross.

Dan:
You didn't tell me she worked for CBS.

Amy:
[laughs] Oh! Oh, this is too good. Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS. She works for CVS. You sold your dick for bulk iced tea and off-brand cough syrup. Don't worry. You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest.

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mike (confronting Congressman Furlong):
This is my table.

Furlong:
And this is my fat Johnson, and you can suck it, as long as you don't put your dirt, gay mustache on it. What is that, some kind of side effect from your AIDS medication or did you shave it off of Freddie Mercury's corpse?

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mike:
I hope Mee-Maw's okay.

Selina:
She's been at death's door like five times, but she always bounces back to life.

Gary:
It's true.

Selina:
She's like that guy... that guy...

Gary:
Lazarus.

Selina:
Rasputin.

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[re:
Selina's team failing to stop the recount and win Nevada]

Selina:
Well, maybe I'll get assassinated.

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Vehicle Voltron (Dairugger Xv):
Cric: "Sea Team...Separate!" - command to split the Aqua Fighter apart.

Voltron: Defender of the Universe  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Vehicle Voltron (Dairugger Xv):
Jeff: "Air Team...Separate!" - command to split the Strato Fighter apart.

Voltron: Defender of the Universe  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Vehicle Voltron (Dairugger Xv):
Cliff: "Land Team...Ready for action!"

Voltron: Defender of the Universe  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Vehicle Voltron (Dairugger Xv):
Cliff: "Land Team...Separate!" - command to split the Turbo-Terrain Fighter apart.

Voltron: Defender of the Universe  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Furlong:
Do you know what the chief agricultural product of my district is? I'll give you a hint: It looks like Will's wife's clit.

Jonah:
Mangoes?

Furlong:
No. Tell him, Will.

Will:
Green beans.

Furlong:
That's why I spent two months jamming them into that lunch bill... like what, Will?

Will:
Like me jamming anonymous trucker cock down my throat in a public restroom well known for that purpose.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Can you believe this ? The anni-fuckin'-sary of the historic House vote? I feel like we're celebrating my frat house gang-rape, except I didn't even get a candlelight vigil.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
Saddle up those emphysema tanks, you inbred cousin-fuckers, because we are going to drag this state into the 20th century. That's right, I said 20th.

Veep, Season 6  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
How could you, Andrew? I offered you Secretary of State.

Andrew Doyle:
Please, you offered that to everybody in town.

Selina:
Your head is so far up Montez's ass, next time it's Alejandro's birthday, he's gonna come all over your face

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Furlong:
You realize the whole goddamned Rayburn house office can hear you and your twink army in here cock-scraping each others' esophagi?!

Veep, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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