Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,348

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Pedro: Aw, man, it's... [looking at it, puzzled] it IS a toothpick! I must got it in another pocket, man. Hold on, I got the shit right here, man. [feels around in his pocket] Oh, that's my dick. [feels around some more] Yeah, there we go. Hey, there you go, man. [hands a skinny, curled up joint to Man] Light that sucker up, man. And go to the moon. Man Stoner: [looking at a dinky little joint] Jeez, I hope your dick's bigger than this, man. Pedro: Hey, man, you wanna get out and walk, man? – Up in Smoke Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Man Stoner: Hey, hey, don't take those, man. Pedro: Wha...? Man Stoner: I almost gave you the wrong shit, man. Pedro: Hey, man, I already took 'em, man. Man Stoner: [laughing in astonishment] Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo... Pedro: Hey, whaddaya mean "ho ho ho ho ho"? Man Stoner: Oh... HU-WOW, MAN! Pedro: Hey, what was that shit, man? Man Stoner: You just take the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life! Pedro: Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man. Man Stoner: Jeez, I hope you're not busy for about a month... Pedro: Hey, I've seen those guys walking around my neighborhood that took too much acid, man. The one guy, his head's swelled up like a pumpkin... Man Stoner: [referring to the acid Pedro took] No, that's good acid, man. Pedro: Another time, there was this guy... – Up in Smoke Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Man Stoner: [Pedro starts toking on the giant joint] Toke, toke it up, man! [Pedro starts choking] Kinda grabs ya' by the boo-boo, don't it? – Up in Smoke Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Man Stoner: No, hey, man, if we're gonna wear uniforms, man, you know let's have everybody wear something different. Pedro: Yea, that's it. Yea, we want something where everybody wears something different, man, but the same, you know? – Up in Smoke Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Curtis: This shit is so bad, it'll put a hump on a camel's back. – Up in Smoke Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Terminated Employee: [on the verge of tears] Who the fuck are you, man? Ryan: [voiceover] Excellent question. Who the fuck am I? Poor Steve has worked here for seven years. He's never had a meeting with me before, or passed me in the hall, or told me a story in the break room. And that's because I don't work here. I work for another company that lends me out to pussies like Steve's boss, who don't have the balls to sack their own employees, and in some cases, for good reason. Because people do crazy shit when they get fired. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ryan: Natalie, what is it you think we do here? Natalie: We prepare the newly unemployed for the emotional and physical hurdles of job hunting, while minimizing legal blow-back. Ryan: That's what we're selling. It's not what we're doing. Natalie: Okay, what are we doing? Ryan: We are here to make limbo tolerable, to ferry wounded souls across the river of dread until the point were hope is dimly visible. And then stop the boat, shove them in the water and make them swim. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bob: [Shows them a picture of his children, after having been informed he's been let go] What do you suggest I tell them? Natalie: Perhaps you're overlooking the positive effects your career transition will have on your children. Bob: The positive effects? I make about ninety grand a year, unemployment is two hundred fifty bucks a week. Is that one of your positive effects? We get to be cozier because I won't be able to pay my mortgage on my house so maybe we can move into a nice one bedroom apartment. And I guess without benefits I'll be able to hold my daughter as she suffers from her asthma that I won't be able to afford the medication for. Natalie: Tests have shown that children under moderate trauma tend to apply themselves academically as a method of coping. Bob: "Go fuck yourself", that's what my kids will think. Ryan: Your kids' admiration is important to you? Bob: Yeah of course. Ryan: I doubt they ever admired you. Bob: Hey, asshole, aren't you supposed to be consoling me? Ryan: I'm not a shrink I'm a wake-up call, I see guys who work at the same company their entire lives, guys exactly like you. They clock in and they clock out and they never have a moment of happiness. You have an opportunity. This is a rebirth. If not for you, do it for your children. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Alex: [over the phone] You never called. Ryan: Well, I wasn't sure what was appropriate. Alex: Appropriate? Ryan, I'm not some waitress you banged in a snowstorm. That word has no place in our vocabulary. I am the woman that you don't have to worry about. Ryan: Sounds like a trap. Alex: Listen, the next time that you're worried about manners, don't. If you want to call, call. Just think of me as yourself, only with a vagina. Ryan: When am I going to see you? – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Natalie: What happened to Alex? Ryan: She had to leave town to get to a meeting. Natalie: That's too bad, where's she live? Ryan: Chicago. Natalie: Are you going to go see her? Ryan: We don't really have that kind of relationship. Natalie: What kind of relationship do you have? Ryan: Casual. Natalie: Sounds pretty special. Do you think there's a future there? Ryan: We never really thought about it. What's going on here? Natalie: Really? Never thought about it? Ryan[: No. Natalie: How can you not think about that? How does it not cross your mind that you might want a future with someone? Ryan: It just doesn't. Natalie: Don't you think it's worth giving her a chance? Ryan: A chance at what? Natalie: A chance at something real Ryan: Your definition of "real" is going to evolve as you get older. Natalie: The isolation, the traveling. Is that supposed to be charming? Ryan: No, it's simply a life choice. Natalie: It's a cocoon of self-banishment. Ryan: Wow, big words. Natalie: You have a set up a way of life that basically makes it impossible for you to have any kind of human connection. And now this woman comes along and somehow runs the gauntlet of your ridiculous life choice and comes out on the other end smiling. Just so you can call her "casual"? I need to grow up? You're a twelve year old. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Alex: [Over the phone] What were you thinking showing up at my door like that? Ryan: I wanted to see you. I didn't know you had a family why wouldn't you tell me that? Alex Goran: I'm sorry I ruined your evening but you could've seriously screwed things up for me. That's my family that's my real life. Ryan: I thought I was a part of your life. Alex: I thought we signed up for the same thing. Ryan: Tell me what exactly you signed up for. Alex: I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis. Ryan: I'm a parenthesis? Alex: What do you want? Tell me what you want. [pause] You don't even know what you want. I'm a grown up, so if you'd like to see me again then give me a call. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Maynard Finch: [referring to his frequent flier miles] You're the youngest person so far to hit ten million. I don't know where you find the time. Ryan: I don't know. Maynard Finch: [Hands him the lifetime executive status card] We really appreciate your loyalty. Ryan: I've thought about this moment so many times, I even thought about the conversation we'd have. Maynard Finch: What'd you want to say? Ryan: Now I don't remember. Maynard Finch: That's alright it happens to all of us, where are you from? Ryan: [realizing he has no home] I'm from here. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
San Francisco Manager: [interviewing Natalie for a job] So, what happened? Natalie: How exactly do you mean? San Francisco Manager: You graduated top of your class. You could have had your pick of employment, including right here. Instead, you went to Omaha to... fire people for a living? Natalie: Challenging work. San Francisco Manager: I'll say. I couldn't imagine doing that day in and day out. Not in this climate. Natalie: I... followed a boy. San Francisco Manager: I guess we've all done that at some point in our lives. [the manager pauses and picks up a letter from his desk, showing it to Natalie] San Francisco Manager: This guy says I'd be lucky to have you. Ryan: [voiceover, reading the letter] To whom it may concern: I can't begin to count the number of people I've fired in my lifetime. So many that I've forgotten what it's like to actually hire someone. We've never met, but I know you'd be lucky to have Natalie Keener. My advice? Take her and don't look back. She'll be the best decision you've made in a long time. San Francisco Manager: [holding his hand out] I sure hope he's right. – Up in the Air Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sissy: You a real cowboy? Bud: Well that depends on what you think a real cowboy is. Sissy: I saw you here the other night, you had a beard right? You shouldn't have shaved it, I thought it looked good. Bud: Damn, who asked you? Sissy: No one. [pause] Know how to two step? Bud: Yup. Sissy: [pause] Wanna prove it? Bud: Alright. – Urban Cowboy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bud: How are you gonna get home? Sissy: I got a thumb, I got a middle finger! Bud: Fine, forget it. Sissy: Fine, forget it. – Urban Cowboy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Uncle Bob: You know Bud; sometimes even a cowboy's gotta swallow his pride to hold on to somebody he loves. Bud: What do you mean? Uncle Bob: Hell I know, I pretty near lost Corrine and the kids a couple of times just 'cause of pride. You know you think that ol' pride's gonna choke you going down but I tell you what ain't a night goes by I don't thank the boss up there for giving me a big enough throat. 'Cause without Corrine and them kids hell I'd just be another pile of dog shit in the cantaloupe patch just drawing flies. Bud: I guess so. Uncle Bob: Think about it Bud, pride's one of those seven deadlies you know what I mean? – Urban Cowboy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Bud is upset that Sissy left before he got the rodeo prize.] Pam: You did it for her; didn't you? Bud: What? Pam: Practicing, winning, all that, didn't you? Bud: What are you talkin' about? Pam: Because you sure didn't do it for me. Bud: Pam, this ain't no time to start this with me, what are you talking about? Pam: Look, I'm a shit, but I'm not that big a shit. I have to tell you something, remember when you came home from ridding on the bull that first time and the trailer was all clean and flowers around; I didn't do that, Sissy did it, she was there. She left you a note asking you to phone her. I tore it up, cause I was sorta jealous. I wanted to keep my cowboy. You don't love me Bud, and I don't really love you, not like that. So you shouldn't let her get away. But I tell you what, if you ever wanna make her jealous you know where I am. Bud: I gotta go. – Urban Cowboy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Bud sees an ugly bruise on Sissy's face left by Wes.] Bud: What happened to your face? Sissy: Got hit. Bud: Did he hit you? Goddamnit, I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch! Sissy: Bud, no just leave him alone. BUD! – Urban Cowboy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Brenda: So, Parker, finish the story about Stanley Hall. Parker: Right. So, uh, this guy, he was a professor on campus, maybe 25 years ago. Brenda: What did he teach? Parker: I don't know, physics or some shit. Paul: Abnormal psychology. You know, if you want to, uh, tell the story right. Parker: Not the point of the story, paper boy. But, fine, Abnormal psych it is. Anywho, this guy, he just flips out, you know, goes completely berserk! He grabs a hunting knife and he strolls into Stanley Hall, bangs on every door, and every student that answers their door, he takes that little knife and he cuts their throat, ear to ear. Yeah, does away with an entire floor before, finally, stabbing himself straight through the heart. And thus, the annual Mega Sigma Phi bash. Brenda: So you have a frat party to commemorate a massacre? Parker: You betcha. – Urban Legend Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Brenda: What exactly happens when I say Bloody Mary five times? Natalie: The person standing next to you wonders how you got into college in the first place. – Urban Legend Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sasha: What the hell is her problem? Serina: Her roommate died, what do you expect? Pudding? Sasha: Tosh was her roommate. She deserved to die. Parker: God, what did youhave for breakfast this morning? Carnation-instint Bitch? – Urban Legend Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Mr Wexler: Last week we discussed folklore as a gauge for the values of the society that created them. Today-- Today, we get more specific... A babysitter receives menacing phone calls, and, upon investigating them, she realizes that they are originating from an upstairs bedroom, the very room where she's left the children under her care to sleep. Now, who's heard this before? Hmm? [everyone raises their hand] Brenda: Well, that really happened to a girl in my home town. Mr Wexler: Oh, yes, I'm sure it did. I'm--I'm sure most of you grew up thinking that this happened to girls in--in all your home towns, but it didn't. You see, the babysitter and the man upstairs is what we call an urban legend. Contemporary folklore passed on as a true story. Now there are variations of this one going back to the 1960's, all of them contain the same cultural admonition: Young women, mind your children or harm will come your way. – Urban Legend Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Parker: Wait, wait, wait... scratching on the roof of the car, don't you guys get it? Come on, it's just like that urban legend. Natalie: What are you talking about? Parker: Come on, Natalie, Wexler talks about it every semester in class. You know, guy and a girl parked out in the woods, making out- Brenda: You made out with him? Parker: Guy steps out of the car and the girl starts to hear these scratching noises on the roof, it's her dead boyfriend, hung from a tree. Damon's in the class, he knew the myth, all right, he must have just planned the whole thing out. ... Natalie: It's like someone out there is taking all these stories and making them reality. – Urban Legend Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Killer: You're gonna die tonight. Parker: Oh, really? [looks at the caller I.D., which says Damon Brooks] Let's see, the call's coming from inside the house. Could it be, an urban legend? Am I right? Hello? Hey, don't get shy on me all of a sudden, fuckface. This is the one about the babysitter, right? She's getting those scary harassing phone calls and when she traces 'em back they're coming from inside the house, right? But, asswipe, aren't you forgetting something? I'm not babysitting any kids! Killer: Wrong, this is the one about the old lady who dries her dog in the microwave. – Urban Legend Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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