Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,465

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Capt. Miller:
Tell, me Reiben, if you had to do it again, how'd you think you'd react the next time?

Pvt. Reiben:
Me? I'd shoot myself before I ever got off the damn boat.

– Saving Private Ryan  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[After letting "Steamboat Willie" go, Reiben confronts Miller]

Pvt. Reiben:
I guess that was the, uh, decent thing to do, huh Captain? [Pause]

Capt Miller:
Get your gear. Let's go.

Sgt. Horvath:
[At Reiben] You heard him. Gear up. [Pause] The captain just gave you an order.

Pvt. Reiben:
Yeah...Like the one he gave to take this machine gun. That was a real doozy, wasn't it Sergent?

Sgt. Horvath:
Soldier, you are way out of line.

Pvt. Reiben:
[At Miller] Yes, sir. That was one hell of a call coming to take this nest, but...The hell, we lost one of our guys going for it. I swear, I hope Mama Ryan's real fucking happy knowing that little Jimmy's life is a little bit more important than two of our guys! But then again, we haven't even found him yet, have we?! HAVE WE?! [Sgt. Horvath grabs Reiben and throws him to the ground and attempts to grab him again.] Get the hell off me.

Sgt. Horvath:
Reiben, get up. [Reiben gets off the ground] Gear up. Fall in.

Pvt. Reiben:
I'm done with this mission. [Reiben walks away and Horvath runs toward him.]

Sgt. Horvath:
Hey! HEY!

Cpl. Upham:
[At Horvath] Sir...

Sgt. Horvath:
[At Reiben] Don't you walk away from your captain. Reiben, get back in line!

Pvt. Reiben:
No, sir. I'll spend for the rest of my life in the stockade if I have to, but I'm done with this. [Horvath pull out a pistol on him]

Sgt. Horvath:
[Aims the pistol at Reiben] I'm not gonna ask you again, soldier. Fall in!

Cpl. Upham:
Captain!

Pvt. Jackson:
Aw, now this is bullshit.

Sgt. Horvath:
FALL IN.

Pvt. Reiben:
You gonna shoot me over Ryan?

Sgt. Horvath:
No, I'm gonna shoot you 'cause I don't like ya.

Pvt. Jackson:
Sarge, if he wants to go, just let him go!

Cpl. Upham:
[At Miller] Are you letting this happen?! Captain! You see this?!

Pvt. Mellish:
Captain, sir. Sir, Ryan's dead.

Cpl. Upham:
Bullshit!

Pvt. Jackson:
Sir, we have a situation you might...

Cpl. Upham:
That is Bullshit!

Pvt. Mellish:
Captain, I have a sixth sense about these things. I know it in my bones.

Pvt. Reiben:
[At Horvath] You didn't kill that son-of-a-bitch Kraut, now you're gonna shoot me?

Sgt. Horvath:
He's better than you.

Pvt. Reiben:
Then why don't you just do it, Sarge? Do it man. Put one in my leg and give me that...

Sgt. Horvath:
I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU IN YOUR BIG GODDAMN MOUTH!!!

Pvt. Reiben:
Well, put your money where your mouth is and do it then! Do it! Pull the trigger already!

Sgt. Horvath:
You don't know when to shut up. You don't know how to shut up.

Cpl. Upham:
[At Miller] Captain, please.

Capt. Miller:
[At Upham] What's the pool on me up to?

Sgt. Horvath:
[At Reiben] YOU ARE A COWARD SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!

Pvt. Reiben:
[At Horvath] I'm waiting, Sarge.

Capt Miller:
[At Horvath; breaks up argument] Mike, what's the pool on me up to? Wha-Wha-What it is up to? Wh-What is it up to? 300? 300 dollars? 300? Is that it? I'm a schoolteacher. [Pause] I teach English composition in this little town called Addley, Pennsylvania. It's uh...Last 11 years, I've been at Thomas Alva Edison High School. I was a coach of a baseball team in the springtime.

Sgt. Horvath:
I'll be doggone.

Capt Miller:
Back home, I tell people what I do for a living, they think, "Well, that figures." But over here, it a...a big...a big mystery. So I guess I changed some. Sometimes, I wonder if I changed so much, if my wife is gonna even recognize me, whenever it is I get back to her. And how I'll ever be able to...to tell her about days like today. Ah, Ryan...I don't know anything about Ryan. I don't care. The man means nothing to me. He's just a name. But if...you know, if going to Ramelle and...finding him so he can go home, if that earns me the right to get back to my wife, well then, that's my mission. [At Reiben] You wanna leave? You wanna go off and fight the war? All right. All right, I won't stop you. I'll even put in the paperwork. Just know, every man I kill, the farther away from home I feel.

– Saving Private Ryan  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
J.D. is rapidly working his way up the ladder at Subway. Recently he was promoted to temporary second assistant manager in charge of training.

Subway Manager:
Okay, McNugent, let's see what you got.

J.D. I've been working on them for weeks. I present the future of Subway. Bellston...three sizes of bevy are small, medium and what?

Employee Bellston:
Big?

J.D.:
Like we practiced. You can do this. L....

Employee Bellston:
Long!

J.D.:
Okay, we'll come back to you. This guy's my stinkiest student by far. Trimball, let's see your sub. No, no. Meat on the inside, bread outside. Okay, take it away. Take it away! Don't judge me on those two guys. This next guy's my protégé. He's top of his class, and for his thesis he made a party sub. Heston, where's the party sub? [Heston reveals the remaining third of the party sub, then belches]

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
Dude, you don't want a chick who'd fuck a mime.

J.D.:
Yea, what does a mime even look like when it's having sex? It's probably like "Uhh..uhh... I'm a mime."

Wayne:
Dude, mimes don't talk.

J.D.:
They do when they're... off duty.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
Hi. I'm Wayne.

Judith:
No.

Wayne:
No, you don't understand. I'm not hitting on you.

Judith:
Back off.

Wayne:
I just want to tell you about my buddy, Darren. He's smart, he's sensitive--

Judith:
I don't care.

Wayne:
He'd make a great husband.

Judith:
I don't want to meet him.

Wayne:
Great.... [goes back to Darren's table] Dude, she wants you. She thinks you're really cute.

Darren:
Really?

Wayne:
Yeah, she's like "Oh, I'm so excited to meet him," and everything.

Darren:
Are you sure?

Wayne:
Totally! Get down there and make your move.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Judith:
That was really great.

Darren:
Thanks. That got me pretty excited.

Judith:
That's nice.

Darren:
I mean, I wouldn't mind if someone did that to me.

Judith:
Oh, I get it. You want me to go down on you. I would love to, but I can't. I have very, very sensitive gums.

Darren:
You have gums-- It's a medical condition. I wouldn't want to cause you any pain, baby. No.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
So Darren tells me you're a psychologist.

Judith:
That's right.

Wayne:
Interesting. I'm in a related field.

Judith:
Really? What's that?

Wayne:
Pest and rodent removal.

Judith:
How is that related?

Wayne:
We both help people. While you deal with their emotional and intellectual needs, I protect them from gophers, coons, roaches, silverfish...

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Judith:
Okay, fine. No more sex.

Darren:
What?

Judith:
You're not allowed to go down on me for one month.

Darren:
No, Judith, please--

Judith:
Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
Before Judith, our fun level was at an all time high. Ninety-three, it is now an eight. Band numbers have plunged dramatically as well. Girls... never very high at nine, but look now. TWO! This has obviously lead to increased whacking off!

J.D.:
I'm chafing.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
But we're prepared to buy you off.

Judith:
With what?

Wayne:
My house. Okay? Look. My grandma here? She was born in this house, is buried in the back yard. There's my mom, there's my dad and there's me... My dad was dropping me on my head. But we're willing to sign this over to you if you just agree not to see Darren.

Judith:
I don't want your shitty house or your dead grandma.

Wayne:
I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but he's hung like a horse.

J.D.:
It's true.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

J.D:
Yep. Sandy, remember me? J.D. McNugent? I went to the prom with a tuxedo painted on my naked body.

Sandy:
Oh, I guess I missed it.

J.D:
I spilled a drink and the paint ran and everyone could see my dong.

Sandy:
It doesn't ring a bell.

J.D:
Oh! Remember, that time in science class, I was lighting farts with the Bunsen burner and I singed my ball sack?

Sandy:
No.

J.D.:
Man. I still can't grow hair on my left nut. It sucks.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Brett:
I'll have a merlot.

Clayton:
A spritzer.

Wayne:
We don't work here.

Brett:
You fooled me. My name's Brett, this is Clayton. This is Darren.

Wayne:
Yeah, we know who he is, Clayton.

J.D:
Darren's our friend, Brett.

Wayne:
We knew him first.

J.D:
Fuck you, replacement friend!

Wayne:
Eat this, fake Wayne!

[They fight Brett and Clayton]

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
She thinks this game is over.

J.D:
It's not over. No!

Wayne:
But we are taking this into overtime!

J.D:
Comanayeha!

Wayne:
Okay, strategy session. Okay, our enemy is wicked.

J.D:
Dude, she's Freddy Krueger.

Wayne:
No, Damien.

J.D:
Dude, she's Vader.

Wayne:
No, she is the Emperor!

J.D:
But with really great tits.

Wayne:
Okay, now, Sandy? That girl, she's a nice girl. She's a sweetheart.

J.D:
Dude, a saint.

Wayne:
A goddess.

J.D:
A princess.

Wayne:
You know what? She's kind of like Mother Teresa.

J.D:
But with way better tits.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Darren:
I can't figure out why Judith left. It doesn't make any sense. She didn't even take her clothes.

J.D:
Maybe she went where she didn't need clothes: a nudist colony.

Darren:
I don't think so.

J.D:
Maybe she got kidnapped.

Darren:
You think?

J.D:
No. Definitely not. That's impossible. It's like, why would that happen...in a...world? Maybe she's a lesbo.

Darren:
Come on.

J.D:
Maybe she's a herm.

Darren:
What?

J.D:
A hermaphrodite. Little dick, little puss.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Judith:
You must be very well-educated.

J.D:
[in his eagle mascot costume] I suppose.

Judith:
Ivy League?

J.D:
More or less.

Judith:
Which one? Yale, Harvard, Princeton?

J.D:
S.U.

Judith:
Oh, Stanford University?

J.D:
Subway University.

Judith:
I knew someone who went there. Did you know J.D. McNugent?

J.D:
No. No. Never heard of such a person, ever.

Judith:
See you later, J.D.

J.D:
[about to leave the garage] Take it easy, Judith. [stops, and thinks for a minute] Goddamn it! [closes the door]

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Darren:
Yeah, everything's been really good, you know?

Sandy:
Yeah.

Darren:
Well, my fiancée died.

Sandy:
She died?

Darren:
Yeah, she's dead.

Sandy:
I am so sorry.

Darren:
Oh, don't be. Please don't be sorry. It's nothing.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
What the fuck happened?

J.D:
Judith was giving me some therapy and helped me realize I was gay and--

Wayne:
Wait. What? I see what happened. She messed with your head.

J.D:
Wayne, I'm gay.

Wayne:
No, you're not. You're just unsuccessful with women.

J.D:
No, I'm gay. Judith got me in touch with the inner J.D.

Wayne:
How'd she do that?

J.D:
She listened. Unlike people who knew me for years and ignored all the telltale signs.

Wayne:
Like what?

J.D:
Like my obsession with Bette Midler. My preference for track lighting. And the fact that I like sucking dick.

Wayne:
What?! You've done that?!

J.D:
No. Not with another guy, but remember when I bought that book on yoga?

Wayne:
I don't want to hear anymore. Look, you want to be gay? Fine! No problem! But from now on, I'll take care of Judith myself. Okay! [sits and reads a magazine]

J.D:
You want to be gay with me?

Wayne:
No! [gets out of his chair and leaves]

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
Now here's what's gonna happen. I'm going to listen to your conversation. Now if you say anything about Judith... or so much as mention her name... then I'll give you a little shock. [tests a shock on Darren] Perfect.

Darren I don't think I'm comfortable having these things on my nipples.

Wayne:
I could put them on your balls.

Darren:
The nipples are fine. Nipples work.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Coach Norton:
Great! Where's the bathroom? I gotta take a dump.

Wayne:
We don't use the toilet anymore since we're cutting down on the water bill.

Coach Norton:
What do you do?

Wayne:
Well, we just use the lawn now.

Coach Norton:
Smart thinking.

Wayne:
Oh, God!

J.D:
You pinch loaves on the lawn? I play croquet out there.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
Come on, Coach. We need your help. Jail life is real tough. They're...they're sodomizing us in here.

Coach Norton:
What?! They're corn-holing you? Oh, my God. That's horrible. Don't worry. I'll get you out.

J.D:
You got sodomized? Who? I want to meet him.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Wayne:
Oh, here. We got you some clothes.

Sandy:
Where did you get these?

Wayne:
J.D.'s sister. She's a stripper.

J.D:
And a hooker.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Neil Diamond:
You're the guys who send me all those letters and tapes... Naked pictures.

Wayne:
What? We never sent you any naked pictures.

J.D:
Dude... Sorry.

– Saving Silverman  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[first lines]

Adam Stanheight:
Help! Someone, help me! Is someone there? Hey! Oh, shit, I'm probably dead.

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
You're not dead.

Adam Stanheight:
Who's that? Who's that?

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
There's no point yelling. I already tried.

Adam Stanheight:
Turn on the lights!

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
Would if I could.

Adam Stanheight:
What the heck's going on? Where am I?

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
I don't know yet.

Adam Stanheight:
What is that smell?

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
Oh, wait... Hang on. Think I found something.

[the lights turn on]

– Saw  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
Are you hurt?

Adam Stanheight:
I don't know. Yeah!

Dr. Lawrence Gordon:
What's your name?

Adam Stanheight:
My name is Adam Stanheight; what's your name?

– Saw  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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