Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,508

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Construction worker:
Doesn't look too fucking good.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Groundskeeper #1:
[In Japanese] They're shitty.

Groundskeeper #2:
Hai.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Diner patron:
[Reading roster] Rick Vaughn? Willie Hayes? I never heard of most of these guys. Mitchell Friedman??

[Cuts to construction site]

Construction worker:
Who are these fuckin' guys?

[Cuts to groundskeepers]

Groundskeeper #1:
[In Japanese] They are shitty.

Groundskeeper #2:
Hai

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Near middle of the season, Indians starting to climb out of last place]

Diner patron:
You know, they could be a lot worse.

[Cuts to construction site]

Construction worker:
You know, these guys aren't so fucking bad.

[Cuts to groundskeepers]

Groundskeeper #1:
[In Japansese] They're still shitty.

Groundskeeper #2:
Hai

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Willie:
200 pushups! How am I supposed to hit if I can't lift my arms? Shit!

Jake:
Well, the way I played today, I wouldn't be surprised if they red-tagged me, already.

Willie:
What do you mean?

Jake:
If you get a red tag in your locker, it mean's the skipper wants to see you, because you just died and went back down to the minors.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Jake:
Hey, don't worry, kid. They don't cut anybody on the first day. [Vaughn nonetheless keeps his locker closed.]

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Rick:
What's that shit on your chest?

Eddie:
[wipes his finger across his chest] Crisco, [Runs his hand through his hair] Bardol, [Wipes his finger on his hip] Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. 'Course if the umps are watching me real close I just rub a little jalapeño juice up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just... [wipes his nose] ...wipe my nose.

Rick:
You put snot on the ball?

Eddie:
I haven't got an arm like yours; I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[wearing tuxedos, the whole team stands behind Home Plate]

All:
Hello. Do you know us?

[putting on their caps]

All:
We're a Major League Baseball team.

Jake:
But since we haven't won a pennant in over 30 years, nobody recognizes us - not even in our own home town.

Eddie:
That's why we carry the American Express card.

Rick:
No matter how far out of first we are, it's cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places.

Pedro:
So if you're looking for some Big-League clout, apply for that little green home-run hitter.

Roger [Acting very stiffly compared to everyone else]:
Look what it's done for us. People still DON'T recognize us but... [snaps his fingers]

Lou:
We're contenders now.

Willie:
[slides into Home Plate and holds up a green credit card] The American Express card: Don't steal home without it.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Harry:
[reading statistics on the air] And the Tribe drops this one, 6-to-one to the Rangers. For the Indians, one run on, let's see, one hit...that's all we got? One god-damn hit?

Monty:
[covering microphone] You can't say "god-damn" on the air!

Harry:
Don't worry. Nobody's listening, anyway.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Board Member #1:
I've never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime.

Charlie:
Most of these guys never had a prime.

Rachel Phelps:
The facts are, we lost our two best players to free agency. We haven't won a pennant in over thirty-five years, we haven't placed higher than 4th in the last fifteen. Obviously, it's time for some changes.

Board Member #2:
This guy here is dead.

Rachel Phelps:
[obviously...] Cross him off, then.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Lou:
[answering the phone] Tire World.

Charlie:
Lou, it's Charlie Donovan with the Cleveland Indians. How would you like to manage the Indians this year?

Lou:
Gee, I don't know...

Charlie:
What do you mean, you don't know? This is a chance to manage in the big leagues.

Lou:
Lemme think it over, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line about some white walls. I'll talk to ya later.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Charlie:
We heard about your pitching out of Portland last year...

Rick:
I'm not really with them anymore...

Charlie:
We'd still like to take a look at you in our spring training camp in Arizona, March the first.

Rick:
I'm ... uh... not sure I can make it by then. Camera pans out to show Vaughan's conversation was on a prison phone

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Jake:
[at the library, discussing Jake's one-night stand with a flight attendant] I had no choice. She bet me fifty dollars that she had a better body than you and I had to defend your honor.

Lynn Wells:
Oh, what a bunch of bullshit! I have a much better body than she does!

[everyone in the library turns to look]

Jake:
[to others] She's right.

Major League  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Marine has been wounded]

Marine Private:
AHHHH my arm, my arm!

Major Payne:
Want me to show you a little trick to take your mind off that arm?

[Marine nods and Payne grabs the private's pinky finger]

Major Payne:
Now you might feel a little pressure.

[Major Payne breaks the Marine's pinky]

Marine Private:
AUGGGGH! My finger, my finger!

Major Payne:
Works every time.

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Major Payne has captured a South American drug lord and is holding a gun to his head. Drug lord's underlings all point their weapons at Major Payne]

Drug Lord{laughing}:
You'd better give up, señor. You cannot kill us all!

[Major Payne grabs drug lord's pistol with his other hand and points it at the butt of the drug lord]

Major Payne:
Nope, but I can clean out your colon faster than one of those burritos with extra gucamole sauce!

[The entire drug cartel surrenders to Major Payne]

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

General Decker:
At ease, Payne. Relax. Do you know why you're here?

Major Payne:
Sir, no, sir.

General Decker:
The promotion board report came out last week. This is the new Lt. Col. list, your name's not on it. You get two chances to advance, then we have to show you the hatch. Basic man is cutting you discharge orders right now

Major Payne:
General, are you telling me that in this man's military is there no room for trained weapon of destruction?

General Decker:
Fighting is no longer being done out on the battlefields. Now all the blood is shed in the halls of Congress, boys like us are becoming dinosaurs.

Major Payne:
There's got to be somebody who needs some killing.

General Decker:
Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Major Payne is in jail when General Decker visits him. After motioning him to use the phone handle on his prison side the two face each other.]

General Decker:
Payne, what happened? You've only been out one week.

Major Payne:
It's civilian life, sir. I had a minor setback.

General Decker:
Listen, I've made some calls and I have an assignment for you. It's not great, you understand, but it gets you back in the military.

[Payne smiles at the thought of being back in the military unaware that the assignment Decker is taking about will take him to Madison school.]

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Major Payne:
[Addressing the Madison Cadets] My name is Major Benson Winifred Payne. As of 0800, I am replacing Major Frankfurt as your commanding officer.

Cadets:
Boo. Booooooooo!

[Payne has fired rounds from his pistol that gets the cadets' attention.]

Major Payne:
[Lowering his pistol] I see what we have here is a failure to communicate. Do not attempt to valid my authority! I have 8 weeks to turn you gaggling maggots into a well-discipline unit. From this day forward, your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or dig in your butts without my say so. Know this, killing is my business, ladies, and business is good!

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[The entire students of Madison Preparatory School are seen laughing at the Madison Corps running in dresses as a form of punishment for trying to get Payne fired and charged as a child molester.]

Major Payne:
Got no worries, got no stress.

Cadets:
Got no worries got no stress.

Major Payne:
Cause we feel good in our dress.

Cadets:
Cause we feel good in our dress.

Major Payne:
Major Payne's a major diss.

Cadets:
Major Payne's a major diss.

Major Payne:
He makes us squat when we piss.

Cadets:
He makes us squat when we piss.

Major Payne:
Got no worries, got no care.

Cadets:
Got no worries, got no care.

Major Payne:
I'm a bald-headed son of a bitch without hair.

Cadets:
I'm a bald-headed son of a bitch without hair.

Major Payne:
Used to be Samson, now I'm Ann.

Cadets:
Used to be Samson, now I'm Ann.

Major Payne:
Got to earn my right to be called a man.

Cadets:
Got to earn my right to be called a man.

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[The students continue laughing at the Madison Corps whom are running around in dresses. Payne addresses the boys.]

Major Payne:
I tell you, ladies; you're the prettiest unit ever under my command!

Student:
Their pantyhose is falling down.

Major Payne:
Gonna have to change my name to Pimp-Daddy Payne! A-hee hee hee!

Emily:
Major! What are the boys doing in those dresses?

Major Payne:
They're putting on a fashion show.

Emily:
[angry] I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative re-enforcement.

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Tiger is convinced the Boogeyman is hiding in his closet]

Major Payne:
[Facing closet] He in there? [Tiger nods; Payne unloads several rounds into the closet] If he's still in there he ain't happy!

[Tiger excitedly runs out into the hallway and looks at Emily]

Tiger:
Major Payne just terminated that Bad man with extreme prejudice! And if he's still in there, he ain't happy!

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Major Payne:
Here I got somethin' for ya. [puts a piece of metal in Emily's hand]

Emily:
What is it?

Major Payne:
A bullet. It's somethin' special. It's from my heart.

Emily:
Really? Well, where did you get it?

Major Payne:
From my heart, left ventricle; took it out myself with a field knife.

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[the entire Madison Squad is collected after their brawl with Wellington and former Madison cadet, Dotson, whom Williams knock out cold as retribution to injuring Alex.]

Lt. Col. at the Games:
This is unsatisfactory. I demand the entire Madison Squad be disqualified from the final competition.

Col. Braggart:
Lieutenant, I can only disqualify the cadet who started the disturbance.

Lt. Col. at the Games:
That's not enough. Look at them, these animals are so pathetic that even their own commander didn't even show up.

[Just then Major Payne arrives on the scene]

Major Payne:
Ain't no need for name calling.

[Stone and Williams look at Major Payne. Emily walks out of the Madison tent as he walks over to the stand to be with the Madison Cadets]

Col. Braggart:
Major Payne, what are you doing here? I was told you were away on an important assignment.

Major Payne:
What could be more important than having my boys winning this here competition? I suggest we get this party started. Is that OK with you Col.?

Col. Braggart:
Cadets I'm pleased to announce the top two rated squads that will compete for first and second place in the Parade Drill Competition. Wellington Academy and Madison Academy.

[The Lt. Col. put his hands in his face in embarrassment, as he had hope to have disqualified Madison for the brawl with Wellington and was stopped by Major Payne]

Major Payne  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Malcolm X:
[about the disciples of Christ] What color were they?

Chaplain Gill:
Well, I don't think we know that for certain.

Malcolm X:
But they were Hebrews, were they not?

Chaplain Gill:
That's right.

Malcolm X:
As was Jesus. Jesus was also a Hebrew.

Chaplain Gill:
Why don't you just ask your question.

Malcolm X:
What color were the original Hebrews?

Chaplain Gill:
I have told you that we don't know that for certain.

Malcolm X:
Then you can't believe for certain that Jesus was white.

Chaplain Gill:
Just... Just a moment. Just a moment. God is white. [pointing to a painting of a white Jesus hanging on the wall] Isn't it obvious?

Malcolm X:
Well, that [nodding to the painting] is obvious, but we don't know if it's obvious that God is white. The honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches us that Jesus did not have blond hair and blue eyes. The honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches us that the images of Jesus that are on prison walls and churches throughout the world are not historically correct because history teaches us that Jesus was born in a region where the people had color. There's proof in the very Bible you ask us to read, in Revelations, first chapter, verse fourteen and fifteen, that Jesus had hair like wool and feet the color of brass.

Chaplain Gill:
Now just... just what are you saying?

Malcolm X:
I'm not saying anything; I'm proving to you that Jesus was not, and I might quote one of my Indian brothers, he was not a pale-face.

Chaplain Gill:
[pensively] Uh-huh.

Malcom X:
Amen.

Chaplain Gill:
Isn't that interesting.

Malcolm X  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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