Mr. Andrews:
Mr. Warne?
Peter:
Yeah.
Mr. Andrews:
Please sit down.
Peter:
Thanks.
Mr. Andrews:
I was surprised to get your note. My daughter hadn't told me anything about you, about your helping her.
Peter:
That's typical of your daughter. Take those things for granted. Why did you think I lugged her all the way from Miami - for the love of it?
Mr. Andrews:
She thinks you're entitled to anything you can get.
Peter:
Oh she does, eh? Now isn't that sweet of her. You don't, I suppose.
Mr. Andrews:
I don't know. I'll have to see on what you base your claim. I presume you feel justified -
Peter:
If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. [He pulls a list from his pocket] I've got it all itemized.
Mr. Andrews:
[Reading the list] 'Cash outlay, $8.60; topcoat, $15; suitcase, $7.50; hat, $4; three shirts, $4.50. Total, $39.60. All the above items had to be sold to buy gasoline.'
Peter:
And I sold some shorts and socks too. I'm throwing those in.
Mr. Andrews:
Yes, I know -
Peter:
What's the matter? Isn't it cheap enough? A trip like that would cost you a thousand dollars. Maybe more!
Mr. Andrews:
Now let me get this straight. You want $39.60 in addition to the $10,000?
Peter:
What $10,000?
Mr. Andrews:
The reward.
Peter:
Who said anything about a reward?
Mr. Andrews:
I'm afraid I'm a little bit confused. I assumed that you -
Peter:
Look, look, look, all I want is $39.60. And if you give me a check for it, I'll get outta this joint. It gives me the jitters.
Mr. Andrews:
You're a peculiar chap.
Peter:
Yeah, we'll go into that some other time.
Mr. Andrews:
The average man would go after the reward. All you seem to -
Peter:
Listen, did anybody ever make a sucker out of you? This is a matter of principle. Something you probably wouldn't understand. But when anybody takes me for a buggy ride, I don't like the idea of having to pay for the privilege.
Mr. Andrews:
Were you taken for a buggy ride?
Peter:
Yes. With all the trimming. So how about the check? Do I get it?
Mr. Andrews:
Certainly.
Peter:
Thanks.
Mr. Andrews:
[Smiling, he writes a check] Here you are.
Peter:
Thank you.
Mr. Andrews:
Oh, ah, do you mind if I ask you a question frankly? Do you love my daughter?
Peter:
Any guy that'd fall in love with your daughter ought to have his head examined.
Mr. Andrews:
That's an evasion.
Peter:
She picked herself a perfect running mate: King Westley! The pill of the century! What she needs is a guy that'd take a sock at her once a day - whether it is coming to her or not. If you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd have done it yourself long ago.
Mr. Andrews:
Do you love her?
Peter:
A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty. She's my idea of nothing!
Mr. Andrews:
I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?
Peter:
[As he departs and slams the office door] Yes! But don't hold that against me. I'm a little screwy myself.
